Chapter 12 #2
“Yes, he is,” she urged as his father nodded, now having joined our little circle of conversation.
“The man is an arse,” he added, nodding his head. “You’re better off without him. Don’t ever doubt that.”
“I’m ready.” Here was Noah, saving me from whatever intervention was going on here. Not that it seemed to deter Gillian, who waved her hands in the air in obvious distress.
“The man is a blot on the landscape of humanity. The way he treated young Jordyn was downright nasty and cruel. The boy rightly made a runner yesterday, took the boat to the mainland in a hurry, and Thomas went after him, hoping to retrieve him, but failed. He made it all about him, not even acknowledging the fact that the boy was terrified of him. The others at the table? You are all friends? Friends don’t describe their partners’ sexual habits to other friends.
They don’t tell personal secrets at a public dinner table.
And they definitely don’t compare their current squeeze to their ex, making jokes about it, when everyone at the table is friends with everyone else.
And most of all? They call out behaviour that is downright wrong.
None of them said a thing, not even when Derek and I shut him down.
There was drama, darling, and disgusting enabling behaviour.
Last night, that Thomas was the first to smear his partner and when challenged?
He simply felt the need to retreat to his room. ”
“Oh,” I gulped out.
“A coward’s behaviour. All mouth and no backbone.”
“Sounds about right,” I agreed. I didn’t want to elaborate.
“Jordyn hasn’t returned.” She nodded. “Good for him.”
“What did he say?” I didn’t want to know. Absolutely not, and now my face was showing all the emotions. This was bad; I could feel it.
“Nothing that wasn’t forgotten in an instant, darling.
Whatever he said made him look bad, and bears no reflection on you.
Remember that. Your friends, the ones who are your friends, adore you.
The ones who don’t? You don’t need them in your life.
And anyway, we’re off for breakfast with bubbles and birthday celebrations, no dull thoughts allowed. ”
“Ehhr.” I had questions. I had doubts. I had so many issues to try to balance here, and all I could think of was that I wanted back in that room behind us, naked in bed with Noah hugging me. Because? Well.
Noah. He was right there, looking a little concerned. And I was standing here on one foot, wearing his one Croc. I couldn’t even face putting my other foot against anything, the itch back with a vengeance.
“Oh, the buggy is here. Let’s go, Birthday-boy!”
Here she went, waving and chatting excitedly to the driver, and here I was standing next to Noah, wishing we were anywhere but here.
“It’s okay,” he said softly.
“Not really.”
How he knew? I didn’t understand. He didn’t know me or the dickheads I called my friends. He didn’t know who I was outside of this place. I was actually a decent professional person. I did good work. I lived well. I wasn’t always this messed up, and…
“These people are people I have known all my life. It’s always like this, where I end up being the butt of all jokes.
I’m me. The guy who can’t get a decent haircut.
Can’t get a decent boyfriend. It’s not like any of them stand up for me when I’m not in the room.
I know that. It’s always been like that. ”
“So why do you come on these holidays?” A fair question.
“Because who else would bring me on holiday?”
He looked like he had an answer on his tongue, but he once again swallowed his words.
“I’m not like this. Not really.”
“Boys!” his mother called.
“Look.” He waved and took my arm. Like he was escorting me to my jail cell. Whatever. “I shouldn’t have told you what to wear. I’m not like this either; I’m not a controlling dickhead, I just wanted to clarify that. You just fluster me, and I go a bit…you know. Unhinged.”
“Nothing unhinged about you. I’m the one who’s spent all this year’s savings on a holiday with people who make fun of me. I’m forty-one. I should know better.”
“We all should. Look, Mum and Dad will have bought me a gift. They always do, and make a big thing out of it, usually in public. If you think your life is unhinged? Just wait.”
“Noah,” I said.
He hugged me. Hard. All arms and soft chest and skin against mine, and it was tight and I was pressed against him and my foot took some weight and I wanted to scream but didn’t.
Because this? This was everything I’d ever wanted, and now I knew.
I had to let him go. Now. Before everything good got destroyed.
We didn’t have a future. There was no place in my life for him. And he had a completely different life at home that didn’t include an unhinged headteacher with bad friends and no idea how to actually…be this person I became with him.
Someone who was treated nicely. Who was hugged, like this. By someone like him.
“Let’s go,” he whispered.
I had no idea how I would. But he swung me up in his arms and carried me, and his one Croc, over to the buggy that whisked us off across the dunes.