Chapter 56
I managed to catch Cody's arm before she slammed into Austin. A yank swung her back behind me, and then I surged forward. Both hands hit his shoulders, making some space between us, but the other riders were already moving.
"I saw you fucking kiss him out there!" Austin was screaming. "You fucking queer boy! We don't need your sick shit in the Pbr!"
"I've been in the goddamn Pbr longer than you!" I shot back. "I fucking made the Pbr what it is. Not once did I ask if you like it. I don't need your fuckin' approval, you dumb shit!"
That was when Ty grabbed Austin on one side.
Jake got the other. I saw Cody's little fanboy, Jackson, behind him, pulling Austin away from us.
Wes was over there, and Kaleb pushed in the middle, edging me and Cody back.
Renato, Dado, and Gustavo were lending some muscle and mass, along with others I couldn't make out.
Because the space in front of me had become little more than a cluster of cowboy hats and men yelling.
Mostly, they were yelling at Austin, and I knew Cody was still behind me.
Reaching back, I caught her hand and retreated a bit, always keeping myself between her and the fucker who'd already gone after her once.
Then Jake slung Austin around and stepped up into his face. "Get your ass back in that locker room," he ordered. "Do not come out until you're heading up to ride. Do not talk to anyone, touch anyone, or try this fucking shit again!"
"We're watching you," Renato warned.
"And no one fucks with my friends," Ty added.
"You're ok with that?" Austin insisted. "He fucking kissed him! I told you Tanner was a queer. I'm the one who tried to warn everyone, but you didn't listen, and now they're out there kissing like it's not fucking disgusting!"
"Why, you jealous he isn't kissing you?" Jackson taunted.
Austin turned to the kid, the look on his face like he was going to kill him, but Jake grabbed his arm and slung Austin toward the locker room again.
"Get the fuck out of here!" he snapped. Surprisingly, Austin actually went that way, likely because he was definitely outnumbered. Then Jake turned to the rest of us. "Ok, show's over. Get your shit, get ready, because we're riding today!"
There were murmurs that sounded pleased. Some sounded a little confused, but likely because none of us had expected Austin to go full dipshit like that. But just as I was starting to relax, I looked over and found Jaxon, one of my longtime supporters, staring at me.
"It's a lie, right?" he asked the moment he noticed me looking.
"What?"
"You," he clarified. "He said you kissed Tanner. He said you're gay! That's fucking sick!"
"Shit," I drawled as Cody tugged at my arm. "Least I'm fuckin' getting some."
And I let her tow me away. Oh, I knew where we were going: back to our gear. I also noticed when she slipped her arm around my waist, but I was workin' real hard not to look back.
Jaxon. He and Kaleb had been my friends for a while.
They'd had my back, and I'd shared some knowledge with them.
Enough to keep them in the money. Hell, people had called them my minions for a bit, but they were just kids trying to figure out how to ride their way into a future they could be proud of.
But I'd liked them. I'd trusted them. No, him. Kaleb had been all in with that mess, but Jaxon? The disgust on his face? The way he'd sneered at me?
It fucking hurt.
"J.D.?" Cody asked, and clearly not for the first time.
"I ain't sick," I grumbled.
"Don't listen to him," she insisted. "You're fine."
"He was my friend," I said, needing to make her understand.
Yeah, this was Cody. She got me. I didn't know if it was the look on my face or something in my voice, but those words were barely out of my mouth before her arms were around my neck, hugging me hard.
She had to pull off her hat, but then she pressed her face right into the spot where my neck met my shoulder.
"I am proud of you," she whispered. "You could've done nothing. You could've played this off, saying it was bullshit." Then she leaned back to look me in the face. "But you didn't. You made a scene, and I think we both know it's so Tanner isn't the only one getting shit, right?"
"Yeah, maybe."
She nodded once like that proved her point. "Good. So take all those feelings about Jaxon, shove them down into your boots, J.D., and use them later."
"Yeah..." I breathed, easing her back. "How you doin', rookie? Fucker pushed you again."
"I'm good at hitting the dirt and getting back up," she assured me.
"Yeah, she is!" Jackson said, making us both turn to find him making his way over.
I huffed something that should've served as a laugh. "She's better at staying on for eight."
"That too," Jackson said as he reached us. Then he thrust his hand out to me. "Glad to see you're finally done hiding it."
"It?" Cody asked, a clear warning in her voice.
But to my surprise, Jackson just waggled his finger between me and her. "This thing. Well, and Tanner, but he's not here to point at."
"Wait," I begged. "What do you mean?"
Jackson just scoffed at me. "Shit. The three of you have been fucking inseparable for what, a month now? More?"
"And?" Cody pressed.
But Djalu heard and leaned in to join this conversation. "We're not blind. Most of us aren't stupid."
"That," Jackson said, flashing me a devious little grin. "Kinda why I made a big deal out of trying to let Tanner know it was ok. You know, because if I said that about him, then maybe all three of you would figure it out. Polyamory's becoming more popular."
"Yeah, but being bi still isn't done in the Pbr," I shot back, my annoyance showing.
Djalu chuckled once. "Is now. And so you know, most of us don't give a shit. I asked my Aussies. Don't hit on them and they don't care. Some don't care if you do hit on them." Then he smirked at Cody. "You can hit on all of 'em."
"No," I jumped in, "she can't."
"I am taken," Cody insisted.
"Mhm," Jake said as he moved to collect his gear from her other side. "Is that what you're calling it now?"
"Fuck off!" I snapped.
"She," Jake told me, "isn't yours. She's hers. I mean, that's about how that talk went, right?"
All I could do was sigh, but in some weird way, his taunting was making me feel better. Maybe it was just pushing back the hurt from seeing that look on Jaxon's face.
But this Jackson, the sweet little Canadian kid my rookie had corrupted? Yeah, he'd just moved up a whole lot in my book. Then again, I was getting the impression I was about to have to do a whole rethink of what I thought of everyone here.
"Look," Djalu said, reaching out to smack my shoulder in reassurance, "you three have been doing a shit job of hiding it."
"Could've been like Ty and Renato," Jackson countered. "I mean, still polyamory, but less LGBTQ."
"And no one here would care about that difference," Djalu said. "Either they're a fucking bigot or they're not. Either they're going to try to give these three shit, or they're not. I'm on the not side, J.D." Then he stepped back, smiled, and turned to head to wherever the fuck he was going.
Jackson simply turned his attention on Cody. "Don't let them fuck with you either, ok?"
"I'm good," she promised. "Believe it or not, I'm used to getting shit from bull riders."
"Yeah, well, Canada has both of your backs." He offered me a smile. "Ty made it fucking clear that either we're all in or he'll make us pay. No one had an issue."
"Huh." I nodded even as I stepped back to lean on the panel again.
Ok, I hadn't expected that. Shit, I hadn't expected Ty to step up like a real man, but he fucking well was. He'd actually listened to me when I'd said we needed a way to team up - then he'd made it happen with his country.
And I was doing a shit job of that with mine, but Jake? That fucker was stepping up a bit. Not as much as I'd like, but he had the potential to round up the Americans and get them working together. Renato already had a good grip on Brazil, and it sounded like Djalu was handling Australia.
Which meant the Pbr was changing. Little by little, and in subtle ways I'd almost missed, but it was happening. Coming out like I just had? Well, that meant I'd be shit for leading, and Cody was in the same boat, but things were still changing.
So maybe Jaxon was disgusted by me now. And yeah, maybe I'd thought he was more of a friend than that, but fuck it. Fuck him. Fuck anyone who thought I was only good when I was pissed off, hurting others, and acting like women were my own personal fuck dolls.
Fuck Donald Merrill for going after Tanner just when I'd fallen in love with him, and fuck everyone who'd made Cody feel like being a woman and a rider wasn't possible. Fuck the ones who cared more about the bullshit than the sport.
Because we were here to fucking ride.
"J.D.?" Cody asked, watching me.
I just shook my head, letting this spiral in my mind.
I wasn't gonna bitch about people thinkin' I was gross.
I wasn't gonna let it hurt me. I was still fucking better than them.
Hell, I had all the records to prove it, and even after a month on the sidelines, ain't none of these shits caught me yet.
Only Cody was good enough to make me worry.
Only she had the skill to outride everyone in history.
We were the fucking outcasts here, and still showing them up.
They wanted to hate us and couldn't because we were so good.
They wanted to idolize us, and couldn't because we didn't fit in their cheap-ass fucking molds.
Which meant things were changing - and I had nothing left to lose.
I had her. I had him. I had all the things I'd thought were impossible. Anything after this was just gravy. And if the Pbr was about to come after me, what sort of legacy did I wanna leave? Not this shit. Not the hate, the brutality, and the fucking division.
Naw, I was gonna burn that shit to the fucking ground.
"Look," Jackson was telling Cody, "no one's going to give Tanner shit. They're all too happy to have the wolf pack back. But I can't say Austin won't go after J.D. now. Eli and Derek are in the locker room with him, and those three always egg each other on."
"Fuck 'em," I said.
"Really?" Cody asked. "Because that's worked for us so far, right?"
"Kinda has," I reminded her. "They tried to chase off Tanner and took out one of their own."
"Ouch," Jackson huffed. "Yeah, I don't think that's how they see Casey's death."
"Still what happened," I told him. "They pulled the safety team because of who Tanner's fucking - me. One of theirs got hurt because of it."
"Killed is a bit more than hurt," Cody grumbled.
"Still means they paid," I explained. "They keep fucking themselves over, and we keep making out better because of them. So yeah, fuck 'em. Fuck this shit." Then I raised my voice. "And fuck anyone who has a problem with me liking dick!"
And from across the room, someone called back, "Hey, I like my own dick. Figure that counts!"
Most of the men in the room chuckled in that uncomfortable way people do when they aren't sure if it was meant to be funny or not. I also had no clue who'd said that, but I found myself smiling a bit. Just enough to stop fretting about the pain I knew was still to come.
"Doesn't mean I wanna fuck you!" I yelled back.
And that did it. The laughter came as a roar and smiles reappeared. The best part? One of them was on me.
Yeah, I had this shit.