Chapter 57
The moment J.D. had called my name, I'd realized he was up to something. I'd figured it out halfway to him, and then we'd kissed, right there in front of everyone. They'd all seen, from the riders to the fans - and certainly the staff and management.
But the show must go on, and so it did. Cletus was cracking his family-friendly jokes, entertaining the masses while the bulls started moving into place.
The big screens were filled with highlights of past riders.
The dirt was soft and freshly smoothed under my feet, the lights were bright above my head, and the smell of too many people, cheap food, and livestock blended into something almost magical.
"Hey," Jorge said as the three of us grouped up, giving space for everyone else to get into place. "You good with that, Tanner?"
"With what?" I asked, trying to think of the latest problem we were clearly facing.
Which made Isaac grin. "Going to assume that's a yes, since he doesn't have a clue."
"With J.D. kissing you at work," Jorge clarified, lifting a brow to show he was honestly curious.
But I waved him down. "Nope, that's cool. He said he wanted to come out. I told him I did, and that shit?"
"Fucking making it sound like we were sidelined for a sponsor change?" Isaac grumbled, proving he'd picked up on that as well. "Yeah, fuck that. The way I see it, if Sousa has an issue with Tanner being all 'gay' where anyone can see, then it's his own damned fault."
"He's kissed Cody a dozen times after her rides," Jorge pointed out. "The way I see it, if they are ok with one and not the other, then that's a fucking hate crime."
"Well, not a crime," I countered.
"Should be," Isaac said, slapping my shoulder. "Riders are moving into place."
"This should be a new guy," I warned the rest. "He's replacing the rookie that got hurt last event."
"Ah." Jorge nodded. "So, let's move in close, make sure we don't get in his way, and remind these boys why we're the deviants, right?"
"You don't get paid for that unless the fans hear," I reminded him with a grin.
He just shrugged. "Think of this as me getting used to the new term. I mean, did you see the bonuses?"
"Yeah, we're finally getting paid," Isaac agreed.
Not as much as the bull riders, but he wasn't wrong.
For the first time, we'd be making enough to live on the road without counting pennies.
Jorge could take care of Aubree the way he wanted.
And while that was amazing, I kept feeling like there was a catch.
Like something bad was going to ruin all of this.
But that was when the announcer took over, making it clear the first rider was strapping in. Together, the three of us moved to the gate for that chute. On the other side, a few cowboys called out to us, but it sounded like good things.
"Move like you haven't had a few weeks off," Jorge called to us.
I nodded to show I heard, but Isaac moved up a bit, since he was currently the point man for our triangle.
In front of us, the bull was having a little tantrum.
I saw the rider jump onto the rails, waiting until the animal calmed.
Then someone grabbed his rope, and the new guy started all over from the beginning.
This time, it seemed to work. The arena fell silent as the fans waited with anticipation. Cletus was still talking, but slower, clearly waiting. The beautiful metallic clank of the gate was all the warning we got.
A massive, pitch-black bull exploded out of the chute. All four of its feet were off the ground, and this thing wasn't playing around. Up on its back, the rider was fighting to stay in place, clearly hanging on for dear life, but his position was good. Damned good.
"We have a contender," I said, easing back to make sure this guy had space.
"Which way's he going?" Isaac asked, shuffling to be ready for anything yet staying out of the way.
"He's gonna break left!" Jorge snapped a split second before the bull did just that.
I watched the rider lean, pull himself back into place, and then start spurring.
Yeah, he was going to get one hell of a score for this ride.
That bull's heels were way up in the air.
The snot he was slinging would make some impressive pictures, but that much head movement would travel down the spine, adding difficulty.
And each time the bull kicked out, we adjusted. When it reared up, we gave it room to plunge. On the massive digital clock, the seconds had to be speeding past, but my eyes were locked on this rider. He had this. He was clearly going a full eight.
So I wasn't surprised at all when the buzzer went off, the lights went crazy, and he was still up there, still spurring his heart out.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Jorge called, waving his hands. "You're good!"
The rider took a moment to register that, then grabbed the tail of his rope, flipping it over his hand. Sadly, the bull didn't stop bucking at all. The moment his rope loosened, the rider was catapulted forward, head first into the dirt.
"Get up!" I yelled, rushing that way.
Isaac was already there. A smack on the rider's back showed him the way to go, and this guy actually listened.
His hands and feet dug into the loose sand until he was upright and running.
Between him and the bull, Isaac was jigging, making sure the rider was covered, but that left the animal free to go hunting.
So I shot right across its nose, patting the animal's head. "Ho!" I yelled.
"Ha!" Jorge called from behind it.
The bull turned, looking like he was going to charge me - and then just stopped. Breathing hard, the animal looked over its options, and then trotted away from all of us to the bull gate. As it passed Isaac, the rope slipped off.
"New guy!" Isaac called, snagging his gear and heading that way.
I watched as they shared a few words. The rider slapped Isaac's arm in appreciation and nodded a lot, but that was all I could make out. The gear was passed over, and the three of us shifted to the next gate.
"He doesn't speak much English," Isaac said. "He knows 'good' and 'thank you.' I got both."
"Nice," I said, watching for the next rider. "He's got a good seat, too."
"Yep," Jorge said, but the gate opening cut that conversation short.
Rider after rider, we worked the animals.
I could feel a little strain in my muscles - especially my legs - proving I'd been on the sidelines too long, but it was nice.
I loved doing this. It satisfied some primitive part of my brain or something.
I didn't even know what, but it was the adrenaline rush I'd learned to love.
And yet, I didn't need it like I once had.
For the first time in my life, I had a fallback plan.
I had a happily ever after waiting for me, or so I hoped.
As the first four riders came out in quick succession, I tried to decide which I'd rather have more.
If I had to pick just one thing, then which one would it be, the Pbr or a comfortable life with people I loved?
But Dean Jenning's words kept playing in my mind.
Once, Cody's dad had said something to her about how bull riding was for now, and while it was amazing and wonderful, it wasn't the sort of thing that could last. Love was.
Love was the soft place we could retire to when the injuries added up, making the pain of the fun hurt more than the ache of missing it.
No, those weren't his exact words - not by a longshot - but it was what he'd been trying to say.
He'd been forced to pick between the rodeo and his child.
Always, he made it clear it hadn't been a competition.
His little girl had come first. She'd been the thing he wanted to spend the rest of his life consumed by.
But he hadn't wanted to give up quite as early as he had.
That was the thing I was feeling now. Yeah, I could walk away and be happy. I could give this shit up, settle down, and be a very content man. I also wanted to let it play out, enjoying every second of this wild ride I could, because being a bullfighter wasn't much safer than a bull rider.
As bull after bull came out, the three of us fell into a comfortable groove. A few weeks away from each other may have made us a little rusty, but we worked that out fast. Even better, when we picked up ropes and passed them back, the smiles and appreciation we got?
Yeah, those other guys had made a mess of this shit. Sonny, that new Australian rookie, had been shocked when I'd jogged over with his rope. He'd even apologized! But when I made it clear I'd been beside it, not a big deal, and all of that, it was as if some light bulb went off in the kid's brain.
But when Kaleb came out sideways? Yeah, we knew this was going bad from the first buck. Then again, Kaleb was a very inconsistent rider. When he did good, he did really good, but all too often, he made a mess of it, getting in his own way.
The bull spun, throwing Kaleb off balance. When it doubled back? The guy hit the dirt damned near under the animal's feet. It was the sort of fall that usually ended with a good stomping.
"Ha!" I roared, surging in to swing that bull's ass away from the rider beneath it.
"Forward!" Isaac yelled, telling me which way to go.
"Up, up, up!" Jorge ordered. "He's not moving."
Two bucks. That was all it took for us to realize this could go bad - and then fix that shit. I got the bull's attention and took off, but Jorge's last words made me look back...
The horns hit me in the ribs before my eyes could focus on the rider. Up. My feet left the ground, the lights went under them, and I knew I was tumbling through the air. I just had to make sure I knew where the damned bull was!
I slammed into the ground on my hands and knees, moving before the dust settled. The bull had swung around to charge me again. A spin got me out of its way. Isaac was flapping his hands to herd it forward - and thankfully, it actually went!
"Fuck, you got hit hard," Isaac said as he came to check on me.
But I pointed back at Kaleb. "He good?" I called to Jorge who was kneeling down beside him.
Jorge lifted his hand, thumb up. "Wind knocked out of him," he called back.
Which made Kaleb thrust his own hand into the air.
Immediately, the crowd began to cheer and clap, but Jorge wasn't rushing him.
Knowing he had this, I made my way after the bull, seeing a black rope laying in the sand.
Before I could carry it back, Kaleb sat up, dusted himself off, then climbed to his feet.
"You hit hard," I said as I passed over his rope.
The guy didn't just take it. Instead, he stepped in to give me a big, back thumping hug. "Fuck, we missed you guys," he said before turning to do the same to Isaac. "Damn, I thought I was about to get trampled for a second." Finally, he offered Jorge his hand. "Appreciate the help."
"That's what we're here for," Jorge assured him.
"Yeah," Kaleb said. "And you're making damned sure we know it. Wow, the difference between this weekend and last is impressive." But he caught my eye and tilted his head. "Walk with me?"
"Ok?" But I did, curious what this was about.
We made it three steps before Kaleb lowered his voice and spoke while looking at the ground. "Austin came at J.D. Shoving, so nothing to worry about. Cody and J.D. shoved back, and most of us broke it up."
"Shit," I breathed.
Kaleb just nodded. "Yeah. But it was about that little make-out session you two had."
"I see."
"And some," Kaleb went on, "aren't ok with it. The F-slur keeps being used."
"But not by you?" I asked.
The kid stopped and turned to bow up before me. "Tanner, I am J.D.'s fucking minion. That means I'm on his side no matter fucking what. Now, you fuck with my friend and I'll break your kneecaps."
"You don't know how," I huffed, not sure if I was amused or impressed.
"I'll figure it out," he promised, and then the bravado vanished as quickly as it had appeared, making me realize it was all an act. "Am I shocked? A bit. But Jackson's been asking everyone why it would matter, and I realized somewhere in there that it didn't."
"Nope," I assured him. "It's also none of your damned business."
"But that's where you're wrong," he replied. "My friends are my business. Sadly, not all my friends agree, and there might be some side picking."
"Who?" I asked.
"Jaxon," Kaleb said. "He keeps saying it has to be bullshit. That you two are doing this to get back at the Pbr for suspending you." And he lifted his brow, making it clear he was hoping for an answer, but not going to demand one.
So I nodded, thinking for a moment about how much of my personal shit I wanted out there. Then again, Kaleb had gone out of his way to keep me informed. I wasn't trying to hide this. So basically, I had nothing left to lose.
"It's real," I said. "Me, J.D., and Cody are a thing. I don't care if anyone likes it. I do care what they do about it, and you can let every bull rider back there know that homophobia is a two-second delay on the dirt."
Kaleb's face split into a grin. "Two? Fuck yeah. You go, Tanner." Then he called to the guys behind me. "The wolf pack is back, baby!"
"Deviant Rescue Squad!" Isaac corrected. "Because the three of us? We're proud to be deviants."
"Amen," Kaleb said as he slipped through the gate. "We all are. Kinda why we do this."