Chapter 65
Across the room, Jaxon was sitting at a table with Kaleb and Tim Moore. I headed that way, all too aware of Jake and Ty following behind me, and clearly it was an impressive sight, because all three of them looked up before I even got there.
"Hey, Cody!" Kaleb said, waving me closer. "Where's J.D.?"
Oh, that was all the opening I needed. My gaze turned to Jaxon, and held until I reached that table, pressed both my hands down on it, and leaned into Jaxon's face. "He left because he didn't feel wanted. Had an issue with his friend calling him names."
"What?" Kaleb asked, looking honestly confused.
"Who?" Tim added, making it clear he didn't have a problem with J.D. by just that one word.
So I lifted a brow, giving Jaxon the chance to say something. Instead, the fucker looked away and grabbed his beer. It was almost like he was trying to pretend I didn't exist.
"You know what's sick?" I asked him. "Tearing someone down when they're at their most vulnerable. Shoving your problems in his face when you're surprised. Most of all, making someone who's helped you out feel like shit!"
"J.D.?" Jaxon huffed. "Shit, nothing bothers that guy."
"Right," Ty grunted. "That's why he's beat so many faces, huh? Because he didn't give a shit?"
"Well, no..." Jaxon tried, but he turned back to me. "And I didn't make him feel like shit."
"No, you just said he's disgusting," I shot back. "You made him feel like he'd lost one of his few friends in the world! You, Jaxon! He was fucking proud of you. He relied on you. He counted you as a part of his team, but the moment you find out he's not just like you - "
"J.D.'s never been like anyone," Kaleb broke in.
I gestured at the guy, making it clear he had a point. "But if your goal was to make a grown man cry? Yeah, you may have done that. I mean, I didn't see tears, but he went the fuck home because of you, Jaxon."
"Oh," Jaxon said.
Which made Jake step close enough to grab my shoulder and pull me back. "Cody, let the guy breathe. You can't beat sense into his head."
"Wait..." Tim begged. "What's the problem, Jaxon?"
"J.D.'s fucking gay!" Jaxon hissed. "He's a damned fudge packer, man. That's... It's gross!"
"Sick," I corrected. "That's the word you used earlier."
"And he has to be fucked in the head to wanna screw some guy!" Jaxon insisted. "I mean, he could have any woman he wanted."
"Oh, but you men are gross?" I asked. "So, the women at these bars, they should go home together?"
"That's different," Jaxon grumbled. "Women are hot."
"But men aren't," I reminded him. "And believe it or not, some of us like your type. Some of us are into men, but by your logic, we shouldn't let you touch us. We should stay far, far away because 'eww.'"
Which made Jaxon roll his eyes. "That's not what I'm saying, Cody. Women are supposed to like men."
"And if you bring God into this," Jake warned, "I will make sure you fucking regret that. You don't get to ignore the Bible when you want, then use it when it's convenient for you. Don't even try that shit."
"He's just scared," Ty offered. "Probably thinks those two are gonna try to fuck him next, not realizing he's just as disgusting to them as they are to him."
"Fuck off!" Jaxon huffed, shoving out of his chair. "I'm just not ok with him being gay!"
"He!" I yelled. "Is. Not. Gay!" And I turned away, just about done with this.
But before leaving, I had to say one more thing.
"He's bi. They both are. Know how I know?
Because it's hot when I get a pair of men in my bed.
Now stop and think about that the next time you jack off to two women, you hypocritical piece of shit.
And I hope J.D. makes you pay for betraying him. "
"I didn't!" Jaxon tried, but I was already walking away.
I still heard Ty say, "Go. I got this."
But I wasn't slowing down. I wasn't completely sure who he was talking to, me or Jake, but I had a feeling it was the latter. Mostly because I was already going - and I needed one hell of a drink to take the bad taste of that from my mouth.
"Cody?" Jake called when I was nearly across the room, proving me right.
I spun back around. "All day, J.D. was upset about that. All fucking day, Jake! He doesn't trust easily, but those two? Kaleb and Jaxon? He gave them a bit, and Jaxon just trounced all over it!"
"And Ty's making sure that kid knows it," Jake assured me. "I also don't want you to go starting a fight you can't win."
Oh, that was the wrong fucking thing to say. My jaw clenched and my chin lifted. "Oh? Because you think standing up for them isn't worth at least trying?"
Jake caught my arm and pulled me a little further away. "Did you miss hearing about me kissing Ty? Well, I promise I didn't do it because Ty's sexy. Now, maybe you liked jumping on his dick, but he's not quite my type."
"Oh, saying I shouldn't have gone there?" I asked.
"Cody!" he barked. "Stop. Please?"
That "please" made the fight drain from me. It wasn't just the word. It was the way he looked at me when he said it. It was how he didn't budge, but he wasn't immediately jumping to my side either. Most of all, it was the way his grey eyes made me feel like he saw me. All of me.
"Sorry," I mumbled.
He shifted a little closer. "By fight, I meant fists.
You're tough, but any of these men could probably beat your ass.
You also wouldn't be alone, but there are more of them than us.
That's the only fight I meant, because changing minds?
" And he reached in to cup my face, lifting it a little more. "You are doing amazing at that part."
"Yeah?" I asked.
He nodded, easing his hand away. "Yeah. See, I used to think women couldn't do this.
I was convinced it took too much upper body strength - and then you proved me wrong.
I thought J.D. was the straightest of all the men here.
You made it clear there are other options, and who he fucks has nothing to do with how he acts.
I also thought I was riding bulls to make some money, but you made me realize I'm doing this to figure out a hell of a lot more. "
"Like?" I asked.
He rocked his head. "My father, and what I want there. It's fucking hard to give up on a life-long dream, you know? But he's shit, and I don't want that in my life. I also don't want to do that to my mother, a woman I respect a hell of a lot more after seeing the shit you deal with all the time."
"Yeah," I agreed, knowing what he meant.
"But Jaxon?" he continued. "He made his bed. Let him lie in it."
I grunted at that. "Easy for you to say.
You didn't see the look on J.D.'s face! You didn't spend all day watching that man - one who I always thought was unstoppable - drag himself through the day.
I think he'd be fine if someone else hated him.
Fuck, he was expecting it. But one of the guys he'd always thought of as being on his side?
Jake, that hurts. That's the kind of pain that cuts deep, ok? "
"And we men aren't used to admitting we feel it," he reminded me. "Remember, we're supposed to get pissed and horny. Nothing else."
"But do you?" I lifted my chin again, ready for the worst answer.
Instead, he smiled, revealing those adorable little dimples he had. "Cody, in the last couple of weeks, I've had to come face-to-face with a lot of feelings. Yeah, anger and horny were in there, but so was surprise, fear, and quite a bit more."
"Oh."
He nodded. "So, you still want to kick Jaxon's ass? More than that, you said you wanted to talk to me. Is this where I get my ass chewed?"
"Oh." Because I'd almost forgotten about that.
No, the truth was it was easier to want to talk when that meant later. But having it be now? After this whole shit-show of a day? Yeah, I had so much to talk about, but Wednesday night was still hanging between us, and I wasn't the sort of woman to pretend like nothing had happened.
"I was drunk..." I said, trying to figure out where to start.
He chuckled once. "Pretty sure I noticed that part. Kinda why I kept my hands to myself."
Yep, I was screwing this up so bad. J.D. said he was proud of me for chasing what I wanted, but it wasn't easy. Tanner told me Jake was a good guy, and had made it more than clear I should go there if I wanted.
But did I want? Could I want that? More importantly, should I?
But even thinking about what to say had my mind spinning itself in circles.
I couldn't figure out what came next, how to fix this, and what Jake expected of me.
My face was in the process of heating up.
I was too aware of everyone around us, and the anger at Jaxon had this vibration running through my body that made me want to move, or go.
No, to run away.
"I can't do this now," I said hurriedly and turned for the door.
I could feel everyone watching me as I passed. I was sure they were talking about my boyfriends. Maybe they knew I was in the middle of that, or maybe they didn't. Likely, they didn't care. They'd still say the worst shit they could think of, because that was what people always did.
As my feet moved, propelling me outside, I felt like that same girl from Spring Creek, Missouri. The one they'd all laughed at. The girl who'd only gotten a date because it was meant to get me to stop riding. Well, I was stronger than that.
I was also happy with my guys. I was! So why was this selfish thing playing in my mind, and shouldn't I just ignore it?
When I pushed through the door and marched into the parking lot for a breath of cool air, the door didn't close right away. Instead, it bounced, hitting something and swinging back open. I was halfway across the asphalt when Jake realized I wasn't stopping.
"Cody!" he snapped.