Chapter 3 #5
Joshua felt like crying. Instead, he clambered to his feet and pulled both his mother and Emma into a tight embrace.
It felt like he was constantly clinging to people these days—Tristan and Mo, his mother and Emma, seeking reassurance in their closeness.
If he did this, he couldn’t use them as his crutches; he’d have to hold himself up on his own. Be strong all by himself.
With a quiet sniffle, he pulled back and wiped at his eyes. His smile might have turned out a little watery, but he decided it was the effort that counted.
* * *
At this point, Leo would equate the appeal of porn to that of curdled milk. Yet it was only his conscience that stopped him from checking out the contents of the USB stick. Pesky thing, conscience.
True to his word, he swung past Joshua’s place on the way home, only to find the windows dark. The lock of the building’s door wasn’t worth much. It took less than a minute for Leo to pick and, if they were friends, he would have some choice words for Joshua about taking safety more seriously.
As it was, he snuck inside, shoved the parcel into the mailbox labelled “Top Floor” and slipped out undetected. He didn’t let himself wonder whether it had been his last contact with Joshua.
Leo’s phone rang just as he was about to climb into bed. Bloody Prince Joshua WTF the display announced, and these late-night conversations were becoming a bit of a habit, weren’t they? Did two days in a row constitute a pattern?
Falling onto the sheets, Leo picked up with a cheerful, “Little prince. Calling about those diamonds and holiday trips to exotic locations?”
Joshua’s chuckle rasped like fine sandpaper. He sounded exhausted, yet somehow relaxed, at ease in a way Leo hadn’t heard him before. “That reminds me that I never actually paid for your taxi.”
“I didn’t take a taxi.”
“I told you to take one,” Joshua protested, and Leo sighed.
“I’m perfectly fine using the tube, mate. Tends to be faster anyway. Maybe you should give it a try sometime, see how the other half lives.” That had come out slightly more provocative than Leo had intended. Still, in for a penny, in for a pound. “Or the other ninety-nine percent.”
Joshua was silent, the faint rhythm of his breathing disconcerting, too intimate with the phone pressed to Leo’s ear.
He put the call on speaker, placed the phone on his pillow and wondered whether he should apologise for his comment.
It had been the truth, nothing more and nothing less.
But fine, all right, maybe he could see how it might be tricky for Joshua to take a bus when the country’s entire population recognised him on sight. And thirty percent wanted to marry him.
“Sorry,” Leo said quietly. “That was a bit dickish, right? I guess you’d cause a mob scene if you ever hopped on the tube.”
“Yes.” Joshua let the word hang between them for a moment. When he spoke again, there was a rough edge to his voice. “Johnson left me a message, like, saying goodbye. He had another copy of the video. Left that, too.”
“Did he, now.” Leo didn’t strive too hard to feign surprise. “Just so you know, the guy has sailed off to the Americas. Figuratively speaking. Took a flight out this morning.”
Another pause trailed Leo’s declaration, long enough for him to grab the phone and roll out of bed in search of a glass of water. “I guess that’s for the better,” Joshua said eventually.
“You’re glad you don’t have to do anything, aren’t you?
” On his way into the kitchen, Leo bumped into the doorframe.
He hit the light switch and waited for the lamp above the table to flicker to life, wondering briefly what Joshua would make of his flat.
It wasn’t anything special, nothing like Joshua’s tastefully decorated loft with its custom-made furniture and view over Regent’s Canal—but it belonged to Leo.
Well, two thirds belonged to the bank. He was steadily paying off the mortgage.
“Whatever I could have done wouldn’t have affected only him, you know? His sister is very nice.” Joshua’s voice carried a trace of challenge. “It’s never just about the direct consequences. There are usually implications beyond that.”
“Is this”—Leo switched the phone off speaker mode and brought it back to his ear—“your roundabout way of saying that you’ve decided to stay in the closet?” He fought to keep his tone even, not let his disappointment show. It was Joshua’s call. And he did have valid reasons, Leo could admit as much.
Just… he’d thought that maybe Joshua would make a bold statement. Have some of those bloody traditionalists choke on their breakfast when they unfolded the morning paper. Leo’s parents included.
He swallowed around the bitter taste in his mouth. This wasn’t about him.
“No,” Joshua said. The word came out quiet, but calm. “It’s my roundabout way of saying I’ve decided to come out.”
Leo’s head jerked up. He took a deep breath and reached for a glass of water, filling it to the brim before he said, “Okay, wow. I did not expect that. Damn.” He cleared his throat. “Good on you, man.”
“You really think so?” Joshua didn’t sound convinced.
“Yeah.” Even though Joshua couldn’t see him, Leo nodded. “I really think so. This is massive.”
“Hey, I was wondering…” Joshua hesitated, then continued. “I mean, George does regular PR for us, but his speciality is managing what is thrown his way, not so much hatching out grand schemes. Which is what you guys are known for.”