Chapter 5 Jericho #2
“Come here,” I urged him. Lifting my arm up and resting it across the back of the couch.
He scurries over quickly, tucking himself into my side and burrowing into me until he becomes a part of me.
My mind reminds me how dumb of an idea this is, to let him get close to me when he’s proven that he doesn’t need me.
“If you want to talk…” I extend the offer awkwardly, not sure where we’re going or what we’re doing. But even when he’s sad, I can’t manage to drag myself away from him.
He shakes his head, the tips of his hair tickling my skin as he whispers gently, “Not right now.”
I take that answer for what it is, and grab the remote from the coffee table beside my arm rest, clicking on the buttons and finding the movie menu on the screen.
Raiden watches the TV, his brown eyes focused on the LED lights streaming from it.
The sky outside is starting to get dark with the late hour, but he doesn’t mention it so neither do I.
I click on the first title I recognize, a romance movie my mom watched on repeat while my dad was away.
I think she liked it because it made her sad about fictional things so she could avoid being sad about the real life things going on around her.
“The Best of Me? Isn’t this movie super sad?” He turns his head towards mine, the soft locks of his hair brushing my neck and tickling the sensitive skin there.
“Yeah, my mom used to love watching it. Don’t worry, I have tissues right here.” I pat the coffee table and he smiles at me, not as bright as it used to be, but it's the beginning of one and I'll take what I can get.
The movie starts playing and we both watch in silence until Raiden starts shifting against me. At first it’s subtle, a small movement of his arm. Then his leg. Until he’s folded into a misshapen egg.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, fine,” he answers quickly but still shifts and that’s when I hear it.
“Is that your stomach growling?” His face flushes red and he tries to hide it in the crook of his elbow. “Jesus Christ, I thought a storm was brewing outside with how loud that was.”
“Shut up! I haven’t eaten today.” The way he says it causes a crease in my forehead. I remember seeing him at lunch today in passing, he was walking out of the cafeteria while I was walking in but I don’t remember if he had food in his hands or not.
“At all?” He realizes his mistake a moment too late and tries to backtrack.
“No, I mean I ate breakfast. I just didn’t have time for lunch today…” he worries his bottom lip in between his teeth, digging into the soft flesh until it starts to turn darker with the force.
“I’ll make us dinner.” I offer up so he doesn’t have to explain.
I don’t know what he’s going through right now, but maybe he’ll explain it to me when he feels comfortable enough.
This is Raiden we’re talking about, and no matter what happens I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for him and want the best for him.
“I can help! Mom taught me a new recipe for curry. We were messing around in the kitchen, and she found one of my Sobo’s old recipe books tucked away from when we moved here.
” Raiden doesn’t talk much about his mom’s side of the family.
When his mom moved here from Japan, she came alone.
Both of her parents had passed away and she was an only child.
When she started college classes at a local university,she met Rodney.
And not too long after that they had Raiden.
“Yeah, that sounds good.” He stands up, tucking his hair behind his ear and straightening the wrinkles out of his clothes from sitting so long. I pause the movie, making sure we don’t miss a moment of it, and he follows me into the kitchen.
While we cook, he tells me the same stories his mom told him as he was growing up.
Stories of what life was like in Japan, how different the school systems are, all the different scenic views.
He weaves the words in that way of his, describing every little detail.
I close my eyes for a minute while the pans heat up, imagining us standing together at the highest peak in Osaka, watching the sunset as the city around us starts to light up in an abundance of lights.
The city waking up like it was waiting for us to appear.
We add the finishing touches to the top of the curry, and he sits beside me at the dining room table, both of us sharing secret smiles while we eat.
After he scoops the last little bit into his mouth, he finally tells me why he showed up on my doorstep.
“I broke up with Josh.”
I choke on my food, the morsel going down the wrong pipe and making it hard to clear my airway.
“Well, I didn’t think you were actually dying to hear that news.” Raiden says drily and I gulp down water from my glass, the cool liquid soothing the burn.
“I’m not, I wasn't. I just wasn’t expecting..” That, I want to say, but the knowing look he gives me says I don’t have to say that last part out loud.
“It was past time. I haven’t been happy, and I think neither has he.
Long distance was hard, and he wanted every moment of my time.
Which is fine for some people, but it's draining. I quit the dance team because he wanted to spend more time talking to me on the phone. He was intimidated by our friendship so I had to let him know every time I was planning on seeing you. There was an invisible noose around my neck, pulling me tighter and tighter until it got to be too much. Finally, I got fed up with it all and devoted my time only to him so I wouldn’t have to deal with his spiteful words and quick temper.
It..” he trails off, brushing a finger underneath his eyes and wiping away the tears starting to form.
“It was awful, and all I wanted was to tell you but I didn’t know how.
I didn’t know how to tell you that this guy that I thought was so great turned out to be so controlling.
I didn’t know how I let myself fall so far, and I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me. ”
I stand, pulling him out of his chair and into my arms, securing them tightly around him. Tight enough to hold him together and protect him from all the bad things he’s been facing on his own.
“I’m so sorry. So so sorry. I never knew.” I mumble into his hair, smelling his fresh floral scent as a wave of despair crashes over us, threatening to drag us under.
“Because I didn’t want you to. I was ashamed and embarrassed.”
“Never be ashamed or embarrassed to talk to me. You’re my best friend, and even if you do the dumbest thing in the world, I’ll still be here supporting you until the end of time.” For as long as you will have me.
“Thanks, Jer.” I can feel his smile against my chest and I rub my cheek against his hair, soaking in the moment of having my friend back.
“Always.”