Chapter 27 Jericho
JERICHO
Everything was, in fact, not fine.
My parent’s and Raiden’s parents were already on their second bottle of wine when they saw us walk in, and their eyes bugged out.
Then they went on like nothing happened, not saying anything to either of us even though I was almost an hour late and we were both sopping wet from the rain outside. I guess that was a small blessing.
Connor, Ace, and Sophie were all outside around the fire on the covered patio watching Hollis play tag with Damon. Hollis tucks and rolls in a puddle, a splash of water coating Damon in his new spiderman costume. He got so upset, he sat on the muddy ground and cried until his mom picked him up.
Hollis’ face was downcast as he watched Sophie walk back into the house with little Damon on her hip sniffling with his bottom lip pouted out.
And I thought those two things were the least of my problems.
When everyone finally migrated back inside, Damon with a fresh pair of pajamas and a cute sippy cup and Hollis with an old pair of my clothes that I left here as back ups, we gathered around the TV to watch a kid friendly halloween movie my mom picked out for Damon.
I was squashed on the couch between Connor and Ace, Sophie is on the edge with Damon resting peacefully in her lap watching Frankenweenie.
Raiden resting between my thighs, his head resting right up against my groin.
With every turn of his head fighting to force down the boner that wants to pop up.
I can feel the sideways glances from my friends, but I don’t have it in me to acknowledge them.
Hollis cocked his head when he first walked in, staring down at Raiden. At my look he promptly shook his head and sat down the same way in front of Connor. Connor took to running his fingers through Hollis’ hair, and how desperately I wish I could do the same to Raiden.
But that’s when shit really hit the fan.
The doorbell rang, and I was too enraptured with watching the way the glow of the TV reflected off Raiden’s hair to realize what was about to happen.
“Jericho, I need to talk to you,” the voice snaps as I whip my head around to see the newcomer. Liam. And he’s fucking pissed.
Raiden subtly moves out of my way as I stand up, moving away from the couch. I can feel my friends’ eyes on us as Liam leads the way to my old bedroom.
Shutting the door behind us, I feel the click of the lock down to my bones.
“What the fuck was that?” He asks, finally turning to look at me. He’s masked his emotions, the only thing radiating off him is tension. A dumb part of me would assume he’s heated from me walking away from him earlier but I know the truth.
“What are you talking about?” I shouldn’t be playing dumb, but honestly it was nothing. What me and Raiden were doing in there isn’t anything worse than anyone else was doing.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Seriously, Jericho? I tell you that I don’t like him and you run away from me and right into his arms. How is that supposed to make me feel?”
I can hear the movie playing from the living room, the chatter of my friends as they enjoy their night while mine crumbles around me.
Their quiet conversations while I’m about to be broken up with in the same home where we started this relationship.
I thought I would be more devastated, after all I’ve invested in this relationship, but as I look down at Liam I realize that I’m projecting what I think a relationship should be like compared to what ours actually was.
I’m a piece of shit, because as I look into the brown irises of the man I’ve been with for the past year, I feel nothing except sadness for letting him down.
No longing to beg him to stay. No need to fix our issues.
If this is how we end it now, I’ll be able to sleep soundly tonight knowing that Liam will finally be able to move on to someone who can love him the way he deserves.
“You’re right, I wasn’t thinking about that.
I’m sorry, Liam.” And I am sorry that it had to come down to this.
I didn’t plan out how I was going to break this relationship off, but I was going to do it with a little more care than him walking into my parents’ home and seeing Raiden and me like that.
“You should be sorry, I was worried sick. And you were here the whole time hanging out with your friends. You’re so selfish sometimes.”
I’m not going to argue with him, and he can see the look on my face because his mask slips just for a moment, faster than I can truly process, and the disappointed look on his face cuts me to the core.
Sixty seconds pass. Then one hundred and twenty. When I’m nearing five minutes of silence between us, letting my thoughts ruminate as Liam angrily paces my old bedroom.
“So that’s it? You’re going to give up on this relationship?
All because Raiden came home. I can’t believe you.
” His words are vicious, aiming to cause the most amount of damage.
He’s not wrong. If I would have never ran into Raiden again, I probably would have been satisfied with my relationship with Liam.
Our sex life is good, our communication could use some work, but overall we mesh well together.
But there’s a big difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.
What I feel for Liam is love, a feeling that sits skin layer deep and that I feel whenever I see him.
What I feel for Raiden is more. It’s so much fucking more.
It’s detrimental, threatening to ruin my whole life with one look.
It’s all consuming and even when I think it’s gone, it’s still hiding in the back of my mind waiting to show itself.
I’ve been in love with Raiden since we were young. And no matter who comes and goes, it will always be him that I feel this way about.
Any life without him isn’t a life at all, it’s a shell of a life that I could have.
Now that I have a taste, I don’t know how I can ever go without.
“I really am sorry, Liam,” I apologize from the bottom of my heart. The word sorry isn’t enough though, it never is when it comes to hurting people you care about. And I do care about Liam.
A tentative knock thumps against the wood door.
What now?
“Sweetheart, is everything okay?” My mom’s slightly slurred voice comes through and I nervously rub my hands on my pants.
“Fine mom,” I call through the closed door, praying she goes away. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Is Raiden in there with you? We can’t find him.” For fuck’s sake.
“No mom, he isn’t. Not sure where he is.”
Liam is still glaring daggers at me and I’m wondering how much longer until our conversation is finished so I can put my drunk mother to bed.
“I’m not sure where he is either. Oh! Maybe he went back to the Carpenter’s house. He said it was beautiful when you two went.” I avoid Liam’s eyes, knowing they’re burning a hole in the side of head.
A muffled conversation ensues right outside of my door, Ema’s slurred voice not making any sense until my mom repeats the words louder.
“Ema said he asked for her car keys.”
Fuck, Raiden left? Why would he leave?
Liam’s eyes are hard as they stare at me, the mask of indifference has completely melted off his face and the only thing left is betrayal.
“I have to find him. I’m so sorry Liam,” I apologize.
“If you walk out of here, we’re done. Over. Do you hear me Jericho?”
I nod, because I hear him loud and clear but I know the one person who needs me is nowhere to be found, and with the storm raging outside I have to find him before it’s too late. The storm won’t be nice to him.
I open the door, chancing one last glance at Liam as he sets his chin in that stubborn way I used to adore. A tear tracks its way down his cheek, but he brushes it away as fast as it came.
I shut the door behind me to give him some privacy. Ace, Connor, and Hollis are all sitting on the couch, and when I start down the hallway all of their gazes swing to me.
Hollis is the first to speak. “We couldn't stop him, he flew out of here like a bat out of hell.”
“I told him that you would come back for him, but he didn’t seem to believe me.” Connor has a frown on his face, and he leans over onto Hollis’ shoulder.
“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. I have to find him though, the weather is picking up outside and he doesn’t do well driving in storms.” He never has.
I’ve always been the one to drive us around, especially when the weather is bad.
Raiden has always been content to sit in the passenger seat and watch the storms pass by.
I don’t know what he was thinking when he was leaving.
“We’ll help,” Ace offers, standing up and righting his bunched up clothes from where he’s been sitting on the couch for too long.
“Let me try calling him first.” I pat my pockets looking for my phone, and when I finally find it, time passes by way too fast and every minute I waste on stupid shit is a moment I could spend wisely looking for Raiden.
I look up his contact, and see the goofy photo he took.
His tongue is poking out and his eyes are squinted shut.
I don’t know when he managed to snap this picture but my fingers trace his soft cheeks on my phone while the line rings.
And rings. And rings. He doesn't pick up and I flash back to all those times I left voice messages before and he never responded.
He explained why he did that. I can’t keep faulting him for that.
“He’s not answering.”
“Do you have his location?” Hollis asks and I shake my head.
“Give me the description for the car and I’ll call Elijah and have him looking through camera feeds to help give us a head start of where to look.”
I describe Ema’s car, and give the license plate to help speed the process along. The wind outside rattles the windows of my parents house and my anxiety skyrockets when I see the lightning outside lighting up the whole neighborhood with one bolt.
“Elijah’s on it, but let’s go. We can split up and check around.
Ace, you take Robinson over to Kolt and make the block around back to the school.
Connor, you’re taking my truck and I want you to go to Thomas and back towards the highway.
Jericho, you’re with me. You’ll drive and I’ll keep us all in the loop with Elijah. Does everyone have their phones?”
At all of our nods, Hollis nods. Gone is my friend, and in his place is the private security company owner whose main focus is keeping people safe and protecting those he loves. He might not love Raiden, but I do and that's a good enough reason for Hollis.
I’m sure when we get back I’ll get the third degree about my relationship with Raiden but that can wait until he’s safe in my arms.
My parents come around the corner with Ema and Rodney flanking their sides. Ema and Rodney, even with their slight stumbling to get into the living room, have worry lining their faces.
“We’ll find him,” I reassure them, just as much for them as for myself. Because I will find Raiden. There’s nowhere he could go that I wouldn’t find him.
We brace ourselves with an extra layer of jackets from the hallway, and take our positions in our respective vehicles.
Hollis is posted up beside me with his laptop in his lap.
He’s on the phone with Elijah getting live updates, but there’s been no sight of Ema’s car yet.
No sign of the car means no sign of Raiden.
My hands are clammy on the steering wheel as I back out of Ema and Rodney’s driveway and pull on the road to lead us out of the neighborhood. Connor is behind me, and Ace is behind him.
Where the fuck are you Raiden?