Chapter 28 Jericho
JERICHO
“So, is there anything you want to tell me?” Hollis breaks the silence when we loop around downtown. I squeeze the leather of my steering wheel and hear the resounding creak from the pressure. “You’re going to have to tell me at some point, so you might as well do it now.”
“Can it wait?” I bark out, whipping my truck around the corner and splashing water against some poor, unsuspecting person’s yard decorations.
“It can, but you could tell me now and I’ll leave you alone about it faster.”
I know what he’s trying to do, he’s trying to distract me so my mind won’t race through every bad thing that could be potentially happening to Raiden.
Not like my mind hasn’t already come up with the most revolting images.
If my mind had it the way it wants, I could describe in gory detail every bad thing that could have happened. And I don’t want to do that right now.
“I love him. Is that good enough?”
“No, but it’s a start.” Hollis is typing rigorously on his laptop, the fast clack clack clack keeping the silence from weighing down on me.
“What else do you want to know?” I make another sharp turn onto a street and the streetlights are bright enough that I don’t have to worry about not being able to see through the rain beating down on my front windshield.
Every minute we’re out here is another one that the storm gets worse.
It has to do with Raiden, the ability for his emotions to affect the storms. He’s been able to do it for as long as I’ve known him.
The sky bends to no one's will, except his.
“Is what your mom was saying true?”
“Depends, she was pretty drunk so it was probably hit or miss.” Where the fuck is Raiden, and why hasn’t he called me back? He has to know I’m worried sick about him.
“She said you’re in love with him, and you have been for the past 12 years. So if you’re twenty five now that means…” Damn my mother and her big fat mouth. “You’ve been in love with him for longer than I’ve known you and I only recently met him. You’ve been holding out on me.”
“We had a big falling out right before I enlisted. But she’s right. I think there’s a part of me that’s always loved him and that always will. I can’t change it.” I don’t want to.
“I’m not asking you to, I support you. It sucks about Liam though, but you don’t need me to tell you how shitty that was.
” His laptop dings with a new hit and I’m saved from having to go into the topic of Liam right now.
My head can only take so many more bad things happening tonight before I go off the deep end.
I don’t even know how I’m truly staying sane right now, except the only thing on my mind is finding Raiden. I’m sure once we find him the adrenaline crash will hit and I’ll be irritated with him for running away but so grateful that we were able to find him.
“Jericho, pull over.” Hollis demands and I whip my head around to look at him.
His eyes are set and determined. My initial response is to ignore him, to keep doing what we’re doing until I find Raiden.
But I know this is Work Hollis not Friend Hollis and he’s taking this seriously.
I check my rearview mirror and I don’t see anyone behind us, so I quickly pull over the truck in front of some random person’s house.
Clicking my flashers on, I jump out and round the truck while Hollis does the same thing.
He buckles in and we’re off. His laptop is sitting on the console facing me, but the screen is black. I move my fingertips over the mouse pad, trying to wake it up but it stays black.
“Did you turn the laptop off?”
“Yep.” Hollis pops the p dramatically. I stare at him, waiting for an explanation. It’s obvious one isn’t coming when it whips a u-turn in the middle of the street and starts going back the way we came.
“Where are we going?” I watch the scenery pass by that I’ve already seen once. We’re retracing the same steps we already made. “Hollis, what the fuck is going on?”
“If I tell you, you’re going to freak out. I’m trying to minimize it until we can actually do something.”
My pulse pounds in my throat and the rock settling in the bottom of my gut warns me that whatever Hollis is trying to protect me from is something out of my worst nightmare.
“Tell me,” I attempt to demand, but my voice comes out cracked, raw with the devastation that’s weighing down on me. “Please, Hollis. I can’t lose him.”
“They found Ema’s car.” His focus is still on the road, but instead of turning back towards my parent’s house, he takes a right instead of a left.
“Where are we going, Hollis?”
“The car was totaled. Drive by accident. The driver’s side of the car was completely smashed in.”
Pictures of Ema’s crumpled car flood my vision and I hit my forehead with the heel of my hand to force the picture away. Raiden, sitting in the front seat of the crumpled car while the rain pelts him. Not being able to call me or rely on me to come save him.
“He’s at the hospital, I’m taking you there now. Ace and Connor are going back to get your parents and Ema and Rodney.”
Raiden is at the hospital, that means he’s hurt. But he’ll be okay, the hospital here is one of the best in the region. They’ll patch him up and send him on his way and I’ll be able to take care of him.
The rest of the ride is silent. Me too lost in my thoughts to talk and Hollis too focused on keeping my truck on the road on the route to the hospital.
A memory makes itself known when we pass by the playground close to the school.
“Raiden! Be careful. I’m not joking. You’re scaring me.” Raiden looks down at me from his perch on top of the swing set. His legs are hanging off precariously and the only thing keeping him up there is his ass. Literally. Barely.
“I’m not going to fall, Jer. Even if I did, you would catch me before I hit the ground.”
My position is too far away to be able to catch him.
I was content to watch him from afar, but every time his body swayed on top of the piece of metal my heart lurched.
School is out for the summer, and our parents are at work so we came to the park to kill time before we went home.
Raiden wants me to watch him practice his dance routine he’s been working on.
“Get down, and I’ll give you what I bought you this weekend.” I’m not above bargaining with him if it means he’ll be careful getting down. He’s not one to pass up gifts, no matter how small they might be. For him, it’s not the size of the gift but the thought that goes into the gift.
“What is it?” He turns his shoulder to look at me and his body wobbles, just slightly. He grabs the railing and his knuckles are white from his tight grip.
“Come here and I’ll give it to you.” I’m pleading at this point, but it’s better than letting him think I don’t care. I do care, so much. And I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure he’s safe and protected.
“Is now a bad time to admit that I’m scared to get down?”
For fuck’s sake.
“You couldn’t have thought about that before you got up there?
” I walk over to where he is, standing right underneath him.
The wood chips underneath my shoes crunch with every step I take and I brace myself for the impact against them.
If he’s scared to come down, the only way he will is if I catch him.
“I wasn’t scared getting up here!” He defends himself, attempting to look down at me but I can see the fright on his face. His normally rosy red cheeks are pale and his arms are trembling.
“Jump.” I tell him, trying to figure out where he’s going to come down so I can brace his fall.
The sun is beating down on him, creating a crown of gold across his head. He looks like a king up that high, a God of epic proportions.
Drops of sweat trickle down my back causing my shirt to cling to my skin, but I don’t move to try to peel it away. I watch with bated breath to see what Raiden decides to do.
“I’m going over to the side. Watch me because I don’t want to fall.” His last words are practically a whimper and I follow underneath him as he slowly scoots his way across the metal. It groans under his weight and he freezes, his eyes wide and his body shakes with tremors.
“Keep going, Raiden. You’re almost there. I won’t let you fall.” I reassure him. He inhales a deep breath and keeps going, albeit slower this time.
Finally, fucking finally, he gets to the end where the legs meet the ground.
“I’m right here, I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Now or ever.” I vow to him. He closes his eyes–
I’m jerked out of the memory by Hollis slamming on the brakes of my truck. We’re in front of the hospital, the glowing red ER sign a beacon in the dark night. An omen.
“Get out and go in, we’ll all be in there in a minute. Connor and Ace are right behind us.”
My legs carry me out of the truck, my mind processing that I’m shutting the door and walking into the lobby, but there’s no other feelings. I’m numb as I take in the packed waiting room, parents with screaming toddlers and adults hunched over in pain on the plastic chairs.
The white flooring reflects the overhead fluorescent lights, and I fight the panic trying to take over my body. Pushing it down and shoving it aside, I don’t have the time for it. All I need right now is to find Raiden.
A nurse with kind brown eyes is waiting at the reception desk, her eyes tracking over my body looking for some kind of emergency. Recognition dons on her face as she stands up and extends her upper half to me, attempting to wrap it around my shoulders when I get closer. Dom, that’s her name.
She was here when I did my stint in the hospital after I was discharged.
The military hospital wouldn’t cover the expensive prosthetic, or the extra physical therapy I needed after my amputation, so I went the out-of-pocket way instead.
Not a lot of men in my position get that treatment, and I’m thankful for the support of my family everyday.
I wouldn’t have been able to make it without my parents.
She always snuck me in snacks after her shift was over.
Her son had been deployed, but he was one of the unlucky ones that didn’t make it home.
She confided in me a lot when we were in that small room.
Hopes, dreams, and aspirations–she wanted everything for him.
Tears were shed and laughs echoed off the walls, but there was a semblance of friendship forged between us in the moment of loss, for her, her son and for me, a career and an appendage I never thought I would have to live without.
“Jericho! Good to see you! Everything okay?” She asks, her forehead creasing with concern. I shake my head, attempting to clear my throat but the ball lodged there is refusing to budge.
In a pathetic display, a tear tracks down my face and I hastily brush it away so she doesn’t see how weak I am.
“Is it your leg? Let me call the doctor and I’ll get him down here ASAP.” She picks up the phone and starts to dial a number before I reach out and cover my hand with hers. I attempt to speak again, my voice nothing better than gravel crunching under tires.
“R-R-Raiden.” I finally managed to get out. Dom cocks her head
“Raiden?”
I nod and she sits down at her computer and types his name into whatever database they use. Every second that ticks by feels like it's taking me one step closer to death.
“Yes, I have it right here. He was brought in not too long ago. Are you a family member?”
“Partner,” I answered definitively. Some more typing and she exhales a tired breath.
“I’m sorry, Jericho, but I can’t tell you anything. His emergency contact is listed as a man named Josh, his husband.” Her look of pity has blood roaring in my veins. He’s not Josh’s, not anymore. He’s mine.
“Ex-husband. They’re divorced,” I argue because how can that stop me from seeing him. It can’t, I won’t allow it. I know this hospital like the back of my hand from the amount of time I’ve spent in it. If she won’t allow me back, I’ll find my own way to get back there.
Ema and Rodney burst through the automatic doors, their panic mounting as they scan the room until their eyes land on me.
“Jericho, where is he? Is he okay?” Ema asks, clutching on to her husband's arm while Rodney holds her hand securely in his, using his strength to keep her from crumbling.
“I don’t know, she can’t tell me.”
“Are you Raiden’s parents?” Dom asks, nicely. Her customer service voice is so different from the one she uses with me, nice and professional.
“Yes, we are. Can you tell us what’s going on? Where is he? Is he okay?” Rodney starts peppering her with questions while Ema tries to hold back her sobs. My parents come in next, followed by Hollis, Connor, and Ace.
“The doctor will be right out to talk to you, if you don’t mind taking a seat over here–” she gestures to the unoccupied side of the room.
Away from everyone else waiting to be seen.
I wonder if their lives are falling apart like mine is right now…
Pain like I’ve never known blossoms inside of me and I fight to stay upright as I walk to the area she sent us to.
I can’t sit still though. I pace the small space until I start to make myself nauseous from the circles I’m making.
He has to be okay, I just got him back.
I can’t lose him again.
I won’t lose him again.
My own sick mantra keeps me company while everyone else sits and waits for the doctor to come.
It feels like hours, but I’m sure it's been less than one when the door pushes open. A man in scrubs and a white surgical hat covering his hair approaches us, a look on his face that doesn’t sit right with me.
The fake, sympathetic smile. I’ve seen it countless times from doctors.
One after the other telling me that they’re sorry, but they’ve done all they could do.
Recommending me to physical therapy and prescribing me enough pain meds to kill a small elephant.
“Family of Raiden,” he announces, walking closer to us and standing in front of the group. I stand off to the side, waiting with my hands tucked into my pockets while I wait impatiently to see what comes out of his mouth. I just want to see Raiden, hospital practices be damned.
Ema and Rodney stand up from their seats, with my parents behind them, standing in solidarity for whatever is about to come.
“It’s a good thing someone called it in when they did, or he might not have made it.
” A collective whoosh is let out of the group.
Raiden’s fine. He made it. He’s alive. I always knew my tiny dancer was a fighter.
“However–” the joy I felt a moment ago quickly dissipates the longer the doctor talks.
He uses big words, over the top nouns to sound fancy and put his degree to use.
But the only words I can hear and truly process are three.
Medically induced coma.