Chapter 32 Jericho
JERICHO
“Hey tiny dancer.” I put the flowers I bought on the tableside next to him with the plethora of other gifts he’s received.
The overflow of gifts are on the floor, wrapped boxes stacked neatly on top of each other.
The one that sticks out the most is little Damon’s, the spiderman wrapping paper clashing against the other fancily wrapped gifts.
I helped Damon wrap it last night when I watched him, Sophie had a date and my parents already had something planned with Ema and Rodney.
I couldn’t say no, regardless of how much the temptation was there.
I didn’t want to leave Raiden at the hospital by himself, but I couldn’t expect Damon to want to spend hours here until his mom came back from her date.
So, I swallowed the building nausea and spent a few hours with him, watching tv while he told me about all the interests he has.
Then, he promptly showed me every one of his toys until I made him put them away because I’m sure Sophie didn’t want to come home to his full toy box dumped out on the living room floor.
When he told me he had a gift he wanted to give to Raiden, I had to bite my lip to prevent the sob from escaping, but as we sat on the floor with Hercules playing on the TV and we wrapped the present, it was inevitable that a tear would slip out.
Damon held my hand for the rest of the night until Sophie got home.
I got a big hug and a kiss on the cheek from him.
His departing words are still sticking with me as I stare at Raiden lying in his bed, “on’t be sad, uncle Jer. It’ll be okay.’”
It’s Raiden’s birthday today. Another missed celebration that he should be here for.
His face is gaunt, the bones of his cheeks poking out against his frail skin. The glow is missing from its place, leaving behind nothingness. He’s another year older and he doesn’t even know.
“Happy birthday, Raiden. I know you’re not here, but you have so many gifts. As soon as you wake up you can open them. I know what some of them are, and you’re going to love them.” My words come out choked as a tear streams down my face and I quickly brush it away before Ema and Rodney can see it.
They have a birthday dessert in their hand, a bowl of homemade dango that Ema made fresh this morning before they came to the hospital.
I stayed with him last night, and Ema is planning on staying tonight.
We’ve been rotating who stays with him, and every night I’m away from him, I feel the tugging of my soul, begging me to go back to the person who holds the other half. I’m incomplete without him.
The cupcake that I bought is for Ema and Rodney.
It’s from a tiny bakery down the road that we used to frequent when we were younger.
I didn’t see a point in buying something for Raiden when it would go to waste.
It crushed my soul to watch the food I bought him go into the trash can because he wouldn’t wake up to eat it.
There’s only so much more of myself I can give before I disintegrate in the place I stand.
“Here, this is for you two to share.” I offered the cupcake to Rodney, and the plastic utensils they gave me from the bakery.
Rodney’s smile is watery as he takes it and opens it.
Ema hasn’t taken her eyes off Raiden. The rhythmic thumping of the heart machine sounds more like a death note in the otherwise quiet room.
“Any update?” I finally ask when the silence becomes too much as I can hear the slight wheezing of Raiden’s lungs being filled with the filtered oxygen.
“No, no update from the doctor. We heard from…” Rodney’s body jerks with a sob as he covers his mouth and shakes his head. “We heard from Josh today, though. Apparently he didn’t know Raiden has been in the hospital.”
I visibly flinch, hearing the name of the man who has kept me and Raiden separated for all of these years is no easy feat, but now he’s making an appearance in Raiden’s life.
For what? What is his goal for all of this?
It doesn’t matter if Raiden is in the hospital, it has nothing to do with Josh or anything Josh is doing.
Raiden made the decision to leave him and move on, and he’s not going to sneak his way back in when Raiden won’t even realize it.
“What did he want?” My voice trembles, but I can’t steady it. The waves of emotions flood over me and I can’t find land. My eyes fix on the tube going down Raiden’s throat, I can see the slight bulge where it’s pressing against the inside of his body and nausea broils in my gut.
“He didn't say, but he didn’t sound too happy about not knowing.” Ema’s voice is emotionless as she cradles the bowl of dango in her hands.
They don’t think that he’s coming back, right? Right?
He can’t come back. I won’t allow it. The knowledge of what he’s done to Raiden, tore him down until he was a man I didn’t recognize anymore, is unforgivable. And if he thinks he can waltz in here and fix all of their problems, he has another think coming. My fist to his face, preferably.
“Well, he can fuck right off,” I say with as much confidence as I can muster. “It’s Raiden’s birthday so we shouldn’t even be bringing up that asshole.”
Rodney lifts his hand in a cheers motion and Ema cracks a small smile. Not enough to be considered happy, but enough to show that even with all the grief she’s feeling, there’s still something underneath it all that she can cling to.
“You’re right, let's talk about your plans. Hollis and Connor stopped by earlier to drop their gift off and one from Ace, and they might have let it slip what they’re working on.”
The change in subject is nice, and something I can easily talk about. The newest development that Hollis has been working on is growing fast, faster than we originally thought.
Elijah, the tech genius he is, created a program specifically for Hollis.
It’s going to amp up our private security gig into investigations as well.
The running program that Connor showed me at Christmas was showing heat sensors on a grid from satellites.
The technicalities of it are way above my paygrade, and it seemed a smidge illegal, but who am I to judge if Hollis decides to use it?
Apparently he talked to one of his government connections about it and they okayed it so it can’t be that bad.
“We’re working with a different organization.
They’re targeting crime in the city area,but specifically focusing on trafficking.
Drugs, people, firearms. Whatever they can find.
” And then they’ll need our expertise to figure out how to infiltrate.
There’s another contractor working with us to deal with the survivors we manage to save.
It’s all very convoluted right now, but Hollis is working hard to iron out the details with Elijah to make it more accessible.
“And your parents? What do they think?” Rodney asks, crossing one leg over the other and resting more against Ema.
She rests her palm on the crossed one and I fill a twinge of sadness.
I don’t know what my parents think because I haven’t talked to them about it.
Hollis and Connor have, but not me. I haven’t been around enough to talk to them.
I’m stretching myself thin as it is with work, the house project, and being at the hospital that my parents fell to the wayside.
Fuck, I’m awful. They’ve been nothing short of amazing while Raiden has been here, and I’ve put them on the back burner so they don’t even hear information from me at this point. It’s all handed down information from other people.
“Your mom says you haven’t been stopping by as much, maybe you should stop by and see her tomorrow. She’s going to be at the library handing out water until six or so.”
The drought we’ve been experiencing has been excruciating.there hasn’t been a drop of rain since we had that major storm on Halloween. The storms sleep as Raiden rests in his bed, oblivious to the torture of everyone else waiting patiently for him to wake up.
My birthday is quickly approaching and the longer he’s in a coma the more my worry grows. I’m trying to stay strong for him. For his parents. For myself.
“I’ll go and help her tomorrow, will you be here?” The answer is obvious, because one of us tries to be here at all times, but it's better to double check than have to leave him here by himself.
“I have to go in to work, but I’ll drop Ema off on my way in and then come straight here when I get off. He won’t be alone.” He says it for me as much as for him and Ema.
Our conversation is interrupted by a nurse and the doctor coming in, their light knocks the only warning we get before the door is pushed open.
My problem with the doctor is the fact that his poker face is too good, way too good, because I never know what’s going on inside that head of his.
Is he thinking about how to break bad news to us?
Or is he thinking about what he’s going to eat for dinner?
I’m normally good at reading people, at least I like to think I am.
But between this doctor and Raiden, I’m starting to doubt my abilities.
The doctor nods his head in acknowledgement at us, and walks over to Raiden, checking the machines he’s hooked up to.
The nurse walks over to Ema and Rodney, her wide smile is a reprieve from the dreary mood hanging over us like a dark cloud.
“How are you two doing?” She chirps, standing beside them and leaning against the wall to be close to them while also keeping her eyes on what the doctor’s doing.
I watch him out of the corner of my eye, taking in his slow, calculated movements as he runs his dark fingertips across the gaunt skin of Raiden’s abdomen from where he has the gown pulled up to check Raiden’s vitals.
The doctor slows his fingers down as he approaches the tube in Raiden’s mouth. My eyes are locked in, waiting for the moment to see what happens.
Nothing happens. Raiden doesn’t move, doesn’t react, doesn’t even open his eyes.
The pit in my stomach falls and I exhale a shaky breath. The world is unsteady under my feet as I try to center myself. How can I center myself though when the one person I need isn’t here?
His body is, but his mind and soul aren’t. And I’ll still be patiently counting the minutes until I can hold him in my arms again and hear him whisper my name in between soft kisses.
The doctor looks at the nurse, and shakes his head. She doesn’t react, and keeps talking to Ema and Rodney. I react though, and when he turns I confront him head on.
“What was that about?” I demand, staring down at him. I’ll give it to him, he doesn't flinch. He doesn’t cower at my size or the way I’m trying to intimidate him.
“Nothing of concern, I assure you,” he responds professionally and my jaw ticks.
“That wasn’t nothing of concern,” I snap the words with the same blase attitude he had. “You shook your head and I want to know why.”
The doctor glances over my shoulder to see Ema and Rodney deep in conversation with the nurse and he looks back at me. His brown eyes will haunt me in my sleep for the rest of eternity. “I’m not sure if Raiden will recover.”