Web of Lies (Road Trip Romance #18)

One

ONE

Kat

The shrill ringing of my phone filled the air. My body tensed at the sound, something that never used to bother me. Not until recently.

Nothing lasts forever, I reminded myself.

I’d learned that lesson the hard way.

And every time my phone rang these days, it seemed I had to remind myself of that fact. day, I wouldn’t wince when I heard that ringtone or felt the phone buzz in my hand. day, the calls would end.

Just like the things I had hoped would last forever came to their heartbreaking end, so too would the things I prayed would cease immediately.

Because nothing lasted a lifetime.

Well, other than the things that couldn’t be changed—like me never growing the two inches past five feet tall or the family I’d been born into.

Things like that would last forever. And while I’d had moments over the last thirty-one years of my life when I wished I was just a touch taller, I wouldn’t have changed my family for anything.

If it hadn’t been for my parents, Kirk and Felicia, and my two younger sisters, Eva and Amy, I wouldn’t have made it through the last ten months in one piece. They saw me through what was, arguably, the worst time of my life.

The lowest of low points.

So, if there was one thing I was glad would remain unchanged, it was that I would always have the family that I did.

When it came to everything else, anything that humans had a choice over, the harsh reality was that none of it would be there until the bitter end. Not a job, and certainly not a relationship.

Even though I’d learned the truth the hard way, at least I could alter my plans for my future. At least I could change my expectations and find a way to still be happy in my life.

Adapt and overcome. Wasn’t that how the saying went?

I crossed the room and picked my phone up off the couch where I’d tossed it thirty minutes earlier. Seeing the name on the display, I let out a sigh of relief and sank onto the cushion.

“Hey, Eva.”

“Hi, Kat. What’s going on?”

A wave of excitement washed over me, but I held myself back from sharing too much too soon with my sister. “Oh, not much. I just got home from work a little bit ago and had dinner. What about you?”

“My day was okay. Work’s been especially busy for the last two weeks, and that’s kind of the reason I’m calling you.”

A crease formed between my brows. “What do you mean?”

Eva let out an audible sigh. “I’m thoroughly exhausted, and I’m looking forward to a quiet night in, but I was hoping I’d be able to convince you to come home this weekend so we could spend some time together. I already talked to Amy, and she agrees. We miss you.”

My heart squeezed.

I missed my sisters. It had been a couple of weeks since I’d gone back home to visit with them. I lived in Red, Rhode Island, but I grew up in Pawtucket, Rhode Island, a suburb just outside and northeast of Providence. My parents and sisters all still lived in Pawtucket, and Red was near the southwestern edge of the tiniest state in the country.

Red was about an hour away from my childhood hometown, and I’d made the move years ago for my career. I worked as a dermatologist, and after spending six months making that hour-long commute, I decided to just move closer to my job.

I’d been here ever since and, for the most part, loved my new hometown. I just wished my family didn’t live so far away. With all of us busy in our own careers and lives, we didn’t see each other nearly as often as I would have liked.

Realizing it had been far too long, I decided to put off my plans of tidying up around my house and running multiple errands until Sunday. I’d try to find some fun for myself tonight and visit with my sisters tomorrow. Everything else could wait—I needed a bit of lightness back in my life.

“I miss all of you, too.”

“So, will you come visit? Amy and I would come there, but Mom and Dad would probably love it if we all dropped in for lunch.”

Our parents would be ecstatic to have their three daughters over for lunch. I grinned, just thinking about how they’d react to the news. “I’ll come out to visit.”

“And you’ll spend the night?” she pressed. Eva’s tone indicated she knew that she was getting a bit overzealous.

But given the idea that had been rattling around in my brain for the last week or so, I decided this offer was the perfect way to continue with putting my plan into motion.

A new life.

That’s what I was after.

A life that consisted of nothing but fun and laughs and looking out for myself.

Beaming, I answered, “I’ll spend the night.” Eva squealed with delight. “But I do have to leave first thing on Sunday morning, so I can get back and take care of some things before a new work week arrives.”

“After breakfast on Sunday. That’s perfect.”

I hadn’t said anything about breakfast, but I didn’t mind she took the liberty of demanding I’d stay for that as well. I adored my family, missed them now more than ever. And if there was one thing I’d learned, it was that, when it all boiled down, they were really all I’d ever have.

“That sounds like a plan, Eva. I’m excited to see all of you.”

“Well, you could come home tonight.” The happiness in her tone was unmistakable.

My mouth curved into a smile. She’d lose her mind a little once I told her why that wasn’t possible. “I can’t.”

“It’s not that far of a drive,” she noted.

“I know. It’s not that. It’s just… well, I need a change in my life.”

Silence came through the line. I had no doubt that my sister was caught off guard and attempting to figure out what I’d gotten myself into now. “A change?”

“It’s been a long ten months,” I started, feeling a surge of excitement. “And it finally hit me. I’m ready.”

“Ready? To date again?”

I didn’t peg my sister for a fool, but she was crazy if she thought that was ever going to happen again.

Never.

Never would I expose myself to something that had the power to destroy me.

“Not exactly.”

“I don’t understand. What are you planning to do?”

There was a hint of concern in her tone, and the last thing I wanted to do was cause her to worry. So, feeling great about the decision I’d made, I didn’t hide my excitement when I declared, “I’m going to have a good time tonight. In fact, I intend to start having a good time all the time. I’m not going to allow what Charlie did to me to keep me from enjoying my life.”

“I think that’s great, Kat. You deserve to be happy. But you said you aren’t looking to date again, so forgive me, but I’m still a little confused at what this newfound desire to find happiness involves.”

Twisting my body, I leaned my upper back against the arm of the couch and stretched my legs out along the length of the other cushions. “Nothing specifically. I’ve just decided that I’m going to give myself the opportunity to have fun. For tonight, I was thinking I’d get myself ready, head out to the local pub, and meet some new people.”

“And the intent with meeting new people is to just make friends, or…”

“I guess that’s a possibility, but it’s not necessarily what I had in mind. I’m a grown woman, Eva. I have physical needs and desires.”

“So, you are looking to meet a guy.” Despite the accuracy and confidence in that statement, it was obvious she was still confused.

Soft laughter spilled out of me. “Technically, yes. But I’m not planning to date. That’s not even close to being on the table. But given that I do not intend to date anyone officially ever again, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking care of my physical needs from time to time.”

Eva didn’t respond. The silence stretched between us for so long, I wondered if perhaps our call got dropped. “Eva?”

“Oh, Kat.” Her voice was soft, just a touch over a whisper. She sounded precisely how I’d felt months ago—devastated.

“What?”

She hesitated a beat, giving me the chance to brace for whatever she was about to share. “Good men do exist. Look at Dad. And Amy’s got Matt. He adores her.”

Eva had a point. Even still, I wasn’t willing to take that risk. Our dad was one-of-a-kind, and while Matt did adore Amy—they’d been together just shy of two years—there still wasn’t any guarantee about where they’d wind up. “I’m sure you said the same thing about Charlie. He pulled out all the stops to prove how much he adored me. Wouldn’t you agree? I mean, I was engaged.”

I didn’t have to see my sister to know she’d just winced at my words. That happened any time I brought up Charlie and the way things had gone down between us. I still struggled not to toss out some bitterness whenever the subject came up.

Eva didn’t blame me. Amy didn’t, either. My family knew what I’d been through, and they shared that same anger with me. What else could they do when they loved me and learned the same awful truth that I had about the man who’d proposed to me?

Charlie and I had been together just shy of three years when he proposed to me. And six months after I’d accepted that proposal, I discovered it had all been a sham. The man I’d fallen in love with, devoted years of my life to, was already married with a family.

My world came crashing down around me ten months ago, and it happened in a way I knew I’d never be the same, never be able to trust a man in a romantic relationship again. More than that, I wasn’t entirely sure I could ever trust myself in a situation like that again.

Because how did I not know?

How had I missed it?

The entirety of our relationship had been a total lie, and I never questioned anything between us, because he’d been perfect. He spent nights with me regularly, took me on dates, and even went on two vacations with me. To this very day, I wondered what he told his wife about where he was.

“Look, Eva, I’m sorry. That was?—”

“It’s the truth,” she insisted, cutting me off. “I know how badly he hurt you, and I can totally understand why you would shy away from diving into something like that again. Trust me, I get it. We all do, because we saw how it destroyed you. But there’s this part of me that needs to hold on to the good. I haven’t found that love yet, and I believe it exists. For the both of us as much as Mom and Amy. It makes me sad that you have given up on it.”

She wasn’t the only one.

Even if I was undeniably confident in my choice, even if I knew it was the right decision for me, I could still admit it saddened me.

Because I had wanted that.

I had wanted the life I thought I’d been building with Charlie. I thought I was lucky to have found him.

“If you want it, I have no doubt you’re going to find it,” I assured her, unwilling to allow my decision, my fears, to destroy her hope.

“But what about you, Kat? If you don’t believe it exists for you, how can you believe I’ll find it?”

I swallowed hard. “It’s not so much about whether it exists for me or not, Eva. It’s about my unwillingness to risk getting hurt like that again. That’s the difference.”

My sister was practically pleading with me. “So, you’re just going to spend the rest of your life alone? How can I be happy about that? You deserve the world.”

I felt an ache in the center of my chest. When I took the time to think about it, the reality was that I might have been through the worst pain imaginable, but I was still so lucky to have the family that I did. “I love you for saying that. And I appreciate the sentiment behind it. To be fair, I did say that I fully intend to have some fun now. I don’t want to keep looking back on all that I lost.”

The silence stretched between us again, and I knew my sister had let go of her desire to convince me to change my mind when she asked, “So, you’re planning to go to the pub tonight?”

“I am.”

“And you plan to find someone to have some fun with while you’re there?”

I licked my lips, considering the possibilities. “I can’t say for sure what’s going to happen, but I know what I’d like to see happen. It’s been nearly a year since I’ve experienced any sort of physical intimacy, Eva.”

She sighed again. “I don’t want you to think I’m judging you, because I want you to do whatever you believe is best, but you’ve never had a one-night stand.”

“No, I haven’t,” I confirmed.

After a beat, Eva said, “Be careful. Whatever you do, please look out for yourself.”

Since I knew she didn’t mean it the way I took it, I didn’t tell her that setting out to find someone to spend the night with was precisely my new idea of how to look out for myself. Her concern was with my actual safety—maybe a small part of her worried about my heart in the matter—and I would take every effort to make sure I didn’t do something too foolish.

But this was a new life I was building for myself. Sure, there was some risk involved, but it didn’t come close to touching the risk of trying to fall in love again.

I swallowed hard at that thought. “I will. I promise I’ll be careful.”

“Have a good night, Kat. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Eva. I’ll reach out when I’m on my way.”

The two of us said goodbye and disconnected. I sat there on my couch for a few minutes, contemplating the conversation I’d had with my sister and whether it was possible I was making a huge mistake.

In the end, I came to the same conclusion. I needed this. I needed something . If it didn’t work out the way I hoped, if I wound up not enjoying myself, I never had to do it again.

But if I wanted something different than what I’d had in my life for the last ten months, I needed to do something differently.

On that thought, I set my phone aside, got off the couch, and climbed the stairs to get myself ready for what I hoped was going to be a night of fun.

After ten months of despair and sadness, I deserved to have at least that much.