Chapter 62
Everything feels wrong. Too soft. Too warm. If this is what death is like, it’s certainly not what I expected.
My body feels relaxed and weirdly floaty, yet the water is gone.
And I can breathe. That’s nice. I take a few breaths, enjoying the way my chest lifts and falls.
But still, it’s like my body isn’t quite right.
And my hands? There’s something wrong with my hands.
My knuckles feel as though they’ve been clamped.
Not broken but squeezed so tightly that they might splinter.
As I try to move them, the feeling intensifies.
‘Rose? Rose!’
I blink my eyes open. Kyor is there, staring at me, his blue eyes bloodshot. ‘Thank the Gods,’ he breathes as he drops his head down to my chest.
‘Kyor?’ My voice croaks.
His head jerks back up. ‘I’m here. I’m here, my love. What do you need?’
‘I think you’re crushing my hand.’
A light laugh escapes him as he instantly releases me and uses his now-free hand to wipe his cheek. Then he lowers his forehead so it rests against mine.
‘We had to give you some paparvy seed,’ he murmurs. ‘You were in so much pain from the cold.’
The cold? Was it cold in the water? Yes, it was, but just for a while. I remember that now.
‘Paparvy? Oh, that’s why I feel floaty.’
He smiles. ‘You’ll feel fine in half an hour or so. It’ll wear off soon.’
What’s the last thing I remember? I remember mentioning Llin. Telling Benny one of us had to make it. My chest tightens and panic cuts through the seed-induced fog.
‘The others. Did they make it? Benny and Jonas?’
Kyor nods. ‘Everyone who got into a boat made it across. Thanks to you. You made it, Rose. You’re in the Ofur. One of the final eight.’
The final eight. Those words fall on me with a weight I would never have expected.
I should be happy that so many of my friends made it this far, but it doesn’t change the fact that there are those who didn’t.
Turns out this wasn’t like the Retterheld where everyone made it to the Ofur.
Like so many others, ours was messy and bloody and full of loss.
Still, he looks so damn proud of me that my heart melts a little. Wait, is it really melting? I rub my chest and he stills my hand, looking concerned.
‘Are you okay, Rose?’
‘I think my heart is melting,’ I explain.
His answering smile is like a sunrise, and I’m quite happy to bask in it.
He offers me water and watches me like a hawk as I sip it, visibly relaxing as the fog starts to leave me.
Suddenly, a frivolous thought strikes me. ‘The ball. Did I miss it?’
A smirk rises on his lips, one that’s tinted with just the slightest hint of bashfulness.
‘Actually, you’ve got about two hours until it starts.
I may have insisted, in a not at all diva-ish and entirely princely manner, that no ball would be happening until I was present.
And I would not be leaving your side until you were awake.
They weren’t up for postponing it indefinitely, but in true Thorn style, it looks like you woke just in time. ’
I roll my eyes, but it’s hard to deny the warmth that floods through me as I realise he’s dressed in his formal garments, jacket and all. Definitely ready for a ball.
‘No, it doesn’t sound like you were diva-ish at all,’ I say. ‘Next you’ll tell me you only requested a parade and a small throne.’
‘Only a little one.’ He winks. ‘The Eastern Isles already hate me and my father.’ The remark takes me by surprise – I didn’t realise the dislike of Korvane had spread this far – but before I can comment Kyor continues.
‘And I didn’t think you’d want to miss the ball. Llinos’s family will be in attendance.’
The warmth I felt only a moment ago is replaced by a hard lump in my throat.
‘They will?’
Kyor nods, his smirk gone. ‘Benny has spoken to them,’ he explains. ‘Told them about you and your friendship with Llinos.’
The lump catches in my throat, making it nearly impossible to breathe.
‘Do they know?’ I choke out. ‘Do they know how it happened? Why it happened?’
‘They know she was poisoned and that it wasn’t a Retterheld death, and they know that she received the proper rites on the funeral pyre.’
‘So they know.’ I swallow back the tears that are threatening to spill. ‘Do they blame me?’
His brow creases deeply. ‘Of course they don’t blame you. It wasn’t your fault. It was Holden’s. No one blames you, Rose.’
He leans over and kisses my lips. It’s like the drink I’ve been waiting for. The thirst that only he can quench. Yet all too soon, it ends.
‘I should go and let you get ready. Besides, I probably need to show my face and do a bit of grovelling to bolster relationships after my dramatics.’ He pauses, hesitating. ‘Your remaining buddy from the Isles owes you an explanation as well.’
‘Benny? What did he do?’
‘I’ll let him explain that. Just take it easy, okay? I’ll see you at the ball tonight. There’s a guard stationed at your door. You need anything, you send for me.’
He leans in and kisses me again before breaking away and looking me straight in the eyes. The way his gaze locks on me, I have a sudden jarring recollection of blue eyes in black water.
I sit up abruptly. ‘You! You’re the reason I’m here. Dammit, Kyor, you were supposed to leave if the coast was clear!’
His gaze is licked with fire. ‘Nothing on this earth was tearing me from you. And don’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same for me.’
His words stop me. Because I would. Of course I would. Silence fills the room as we stare at each other, a wealth of words passing unsaid between us. I know it’s only a question of time before they burst out, no matter how unwise they might be.
‘Thank you for saving me. Again.’
‘You saved us first.’ He brushes a strand of hair away from my face and tucks it tenderly behind my ear. ‘I’ve got to go, but just in case you want a bath, it’s through there.’ He gestures to the other side of the room. ‘And it’s big enough for two. In case you fancy that later?’
‘Later?’ My eyes widen as I sit up, suddenly wide awake. ‘Any reason we need to wait?’
His laugh resonates through me. ‘I’m more than game, but given that the last thing you bathed in was seawater and that was three days ago, I thought maybe you’d want to freshen up first?’
Horror rushes through me. It’s not that Kyor’s never seen me in a sweaty state before given we’ve trained together plenty of times over the last couple of weeks, but this is different.
I must reek. As I lift my hand to my hair, the feel of grease slides off my fingertips.
Fingertips that are black under the nails.
I’m absolutely filthy. And he’s been sitting with me like this for days.
‘You go do your princely things …’ I tell him, pushing his chest and offering only a closed-mouth peck on his lips. I can only imagine how bad my breath is.
‘You still look beautiful,’ he says as he backs away. ‘Truthfully, I don’t think you’ve ever looked more beautiful.’
‘You’re delusional,’ I say with affection. ‘Now go. It’s going to take the full two hours to get myself presentable.’
With a chuckle, he leaves.
With Kyor gone, I sit up and look around me.
The Eastern Isles. It’s still a surprise to learn that he and his father have particular issues with this area of the kingdom.
Benny and the others never mentioned anything.
Sure, they dropped a few anti-Kyor comments in the beginning, but I assumed that was just in solidarity for all I’ve been through.
It is hard to believe I’m really here though. On Llinos’s home soil. The place I was meant to come and live with her. Colourful tapestries hang on the walls, and my view out over the water is one of perfect crystal blue.
‘I wish you were here with me, Llin,’ I whisper as I sling my legs over the edge of the bed, only to catch my reflection in a mirror.
Despite being bedridden for a couple of days, I still look strong.
It’s actually hard to believe it’s my body I’m looking at.
My ribs are no longer visible, but there’s no fat on me.
Just thick, corded muscle. I look like I always wanted to when I was younger.
Like a warrior.
Just as Kyor said, the bath is plenty big enough for two, and the water is steaming.
When it’s half full, I slide my body under the surface, closing my eyes as I breathe in the scent of the bath oils.
Maybe I should feel nervous about being in water so soon after nearly drowning, but I don’t.
I feel at peace. Then again, maybe that’s just the paparvy, though I don’t feel floaty and weird any longer.
Only when my eyes start to cycle back into sleep do I pull myself out of the bath and wrap myself in the thickest, fluffiest robe I’ve ever seen, which I found hanging on the back of the door.
I may have been living in the High Hold for the past two months, but I sure as hell haven’t been living a court life – this brief moment is enough to remind me of that. Now there’s a real chance I will.
The final eight. The odds have never been better, but I’m well aware that this is no time to relax. There are still seven other competitors, each as desperate for the gifting as I am, and three of them I consider good friends, if not more. No, it’s not going to be easy.
As I tie the belt of the robe around my waist, there’s a knock on the door. The deep voice of what I assume is a guard follows. ‘Miss Kultavaris, you have a visitor.’
‘Send them in,’ I call back, checking that the robe’s knot is secure and I’m presentable.
I assume it will be Benny or Jonas, but it’s not.
It’s Zara. I feel my mouth gawping, not just because she’s here, but also because of how normal she looks.
No weapons. No snarl. And her hair has grown so much since we began this thing that it now covers a large amount of the scar my fire bead caused all those months ago.
It takes me a minute to get over my shock.
‘Are you lost?’