Grayson
Rowan’s eyes slowly open up as she lays on the floor next to the table where I have Jc tied up. Her hands and feet are still zip tied. “Just like old times, right, Row?” I clip.
She panics as she tries to pick herself up from the floor, tears already filling her eyes. I have duct tape over her mouth but she knows better than to scream. “Don’t try pulling your fake tears on me, Row.” I say, my eyes darkening on her. It used to make me feel sorry for her, until now.
I charge over to her and she flinches as I rip the tape from her mouth. Gripping her neck, I press her face to mine. “Why the fuck did you run?”
“I– I,” she stutters.
“You fucking what? I haven’t been able to sleep, or eat or fucking think because I thought they took you.” I spit, anger heating my face. “You think that was fucking smart? Guess what, Row? They came here looking for you. Good job almost getting yourself killed.” I say, releasing her.
“I fucking hate you!” She finally manages.
“Well guess what, darling? The feeling is mutual.” I feel a pang in my chest as the words slip out but I push it aside. I’m too angry to care right now. “Meet the man that was looking for you.” Pulling her up to her feet, I face her to look at Jc. I grab the nine-inch dagger off of the table and wrap her hands around the handle. “Kill him.”
She looks up at me with a shocked expression. “No! Are you being serious?”
I grip her face with one hand and lean in close. “We’re not fucking friends anymore, Row. Do what I say or you’ll end up in his spot.”
“Fuck you, !” She snaps.
“Fucking kill him!” I wrap my hands around hers that are holding the knife and drive the blade into his chest. Her mouth is open but she can’t form words. Tears spill down her face as she stares at his bloody, limp corpse. “Look at you. Selfish just like your father. You just took a man’s life to save your own.” I say, a malicious grin curling my lips .
“I didn’t want to do that.” She says, barely above a whisper.
“But you did.” I say, still smiling. “That knife in his heart is what I felt when I thought I lost you.” My smile drops. She stares at me with the look I imagine she had every time Frank beat her. It hurts to actually see it. “If it makes you feel any better, he deserved it.” My tone softens.
“You don’t get to decide that!” She screams, her eyes filled with rage.
“Oh, but I do.” I say, pulling her to the couch and laying her on her back. “Remember when you told me you’re mine?” I cut the hem of her dress with the bloody knife and toss it to the side. “I took that to heart, Row.”
“What the fuck are you doing?” She cries.
“Relax, I’m just changing you into something more comfortable. It’s the least I can do since you’ll be tied up.”
“Wow. A perfect gentleman.” She relaxes and her breathing slows down. “Where the fuck is Laila and your mom?” She asks between breaths .
I let out a small laugh. “They’re not coming to save you. They’re in France.” I pull a pair of sweatpants up her legs and stop halfway. “You know, I poured my fuckin’ soul out to you. Then you ran. Why, Rowan?”
She sits silent for a moment. “Fuck you. I’m not having this conversation while I’m still tied up.”
I drop down beside her on the couch and pull her to straddle my lap, pressing my face into her neck. “Dangerous way to talk when you have no way to stop me,” I breathe, my hand trailing up her back and into her hair. “Say it again, and I will fuck you.”
“Fuck. You.” She grinds against me.
I pull her up and sit her on a dining room chair. Taking the rope I have set on the floor, I wrap it around her, tying her to the chair. “Not so fast, Row. You left me after I told you I’m in love with you. I have a body to get rid of, you can stay here and think about your actions while I’m gone.”
I wrap Jc in the plastic I have underneath his body on the table and drag him out to my car as Rowan screams for me not to leave. I’ve told her that I’d never leave her alone again. But she also told me she’s mine, and that was a fucking lie. I’ve already taken out our threat so she’ll be fine for a couple of hours. She risked her life just to run from me . Everything I’ve done has been to protect her and she hates me so much that she’d risk it all to get away from me. What makes me even angrier is, I’ve never had feelings for a woman, I’ve never told a woman that I’m in love. As I lift Jc’s body into the trunk I think about how close Rowan and I were growing– or at least I thought we were. Now we’re right back to where we started but worse. The distant sound of Rowan’s cries from inside the house echo in my mind, but I push it away. I need to focus on the task at hand.
Driving to the secluded spot, I keep glancing in my rearview mirror half expecting to catch Rowan trying to leave. But of course, she won’t be able to get out of that chair. I just need to dispose of Jc and come up with my next move. I felt a lot less anxiety when I did shit like this in Chicago. Here, things are a little different. As I pull up to the wooded area, I look around to make sure no one’s here. I pull Jc’s body out of the trunk and drag it deep into the woods. The sound of the twigs snapping under my feet is the only noise, aside from my heavy breathing. I dig a shallow grave and roll his body in, covering it quickly with dirt and leaves. It’s not my best work but it’ll have to do for now. I make a mental note to come back and tie up any loose ends later.
As I head back to the car I feel an overwhelming sense of calm. Conejo’s dead. His right hand man is dead, and Rowan is back where she belongs. I start the engine and begin my drive back to the house, but that calm is replaced with a gnawing anxiety. What am I going to do about Row? She’s not going to forgive me easily, if at all. The thought of her hating me forever is unbearable.
When I get home, I find Rowan still struggling against her bonds. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying, She glares at me with a mix of fear and anger. Usually that same glare gives me satisfaction but all I feel right now is guilt. I walk over to her, untying her from the chair and she immediately lunges at me, pounding her fists against my chest. I let her. I deserve it. I grab her wrists to stop her and she breaks down, sobbing uncontrollably.
“Why?” She chokes out between sobs. “Why did you make me kill him?”
I hold her close, trying to comfort her even though I know she doesn’t want me to. “He was going to take you back to Conejo.”
“So fucking what? I didn’t need to kill him!” She screams, pulling away from me.
“I know, I’m sorry. I should have done it myself but you fucking ran from me after I told you I love you, Row.” I retort .
She looks at me for a moment with an expression I can’t quite read. “You didn’t even mean that. It was a lie just like everything else.”
“I lied about things, Row. But not about what I feel for you.”
“You know the cliche ‘if you love something let it go’? You need to let me go, .” Her words feel like a knife to my gut.
“I can’t,” I say, swallowing the lump in my throat.
“I’m leaving.” She stares at me with indifference.
“No you’re not.” I tell her, my voice raising just slightly.
“Yes I am.” She tosses over her shoulder as she heads for the front door.
“No the fuck you’re not!” I charge at her, injecting another shot of M-99 into her neck and she collapses in my arms. Fuck I hate this.