Chapter 30
THIRTY
Levi
“Why didn’t you ever learn to ride? I figured if you lived in the city, it made sense, but your father has a ranch with horses. I can't imagine he didn’t have the money to have someone come out and give you riding lessons.”
“He never let anyone who wasn’t a business partner or security on the property for one.
” She gives me a look like I should have guessed that much.
“But I saw one of my brothers get bucked when we were young, and I just never wanted to ride after that. When he made me do it anyway, I fell off, and I swore I’d never get on one again after that. ”
“Why?” I press, and she gives me a wary look, like her explanation should be plenty. “I mean, we’ve all fallen off. You ride horses enough, it happens. Was it that bad, or it just stuck with you?”
“Both. My brother broke his arm and a few of his ribs. Our father was furious because the horse got hurt as well, and it was one he’d spent a lot of money on.
When I fell, I didn’t get hurt that badly, but I wasn’t in good enough shape to get back on right away either.
He just left me there to fend for myself. ”
“Left you? What the fuck?” I’m sick at the thought of a smaller version of her hurt and crying with no one to help. “Did someone help?”
“That's just how he was. I got help eventually.” She shakes her head. “All that, and I just always thought horses were intimidating. Beautiful, majestic creatures and all that—don’t get me wrong. I loved watching them run from a distance. But up close? Terrified,” she explains as we make our way down the gravel path from the parking lot to the stable.
“Well, you don’t need to be scared of these horses. A lot of them are trail horses Hazel has for the guests, so they're as patient and steady as they come.”
“They’re still huge,” she remarks as we reach the door, and she sees a few of them.
“Nothing you can’t handle. I promise. We’re just here to give them some treats and let you see them up close.”
“No riding today?”
“No riding. Just visiting. I’ll let Dakota give you some lessons. She and Hazel are horse obsessed, and she’ll walk you through everything better than I could.” I reassure her.
“So she’s a horse apologist, is what you’re saying?” Zephyrine gives me the side-eye.
“I swear if you give them a chance, you might like them.”
“Kind of like you?”
“Kind of like me.” I smile at her.
Fuck, I wish I'd met this woman under different circumstances. When we were young and carefree. Before things had hardened us and made us so jaded. Just being around her now makes me feel like I can breathe again.
“All right. Let’s do this then. Which one am I trying not to be scared of today?”
“I was thinking Teddy. He got that name cause he’s a big old teddy bear.”
“Teddy,” she repeats the name like saying it will help her suss out his character. “Which one is he?”
“The brown Quarter Horse over there in stall three.” I nudge her on, but when she drags her feet, I slide my palm down the inside of her forearm and press my fingers into her palm until she takes my hand. “Come on. You can stay out of his reach until you’re comfortable.”
“Okay…” She sounds doubtful.
“Kell, you got any carrots out here?”
“Yeah. I got a few in that bucket.” He nods to one hanging off one of the hooks, and I snag a few on our way to stall three.
Teddy’s eyes light when he sees people approach. He’s friendly as all hell, and he’s immediately curious about the redhead holding my right hand, but even more excited about the treat in my left.
“Hey, buddy. How are you doing today?” I step forward, still holding Zephyrine’s hand while she stays rooted in place. Teddy greets me with a happy little sound and a nuzzle of the hand that holds the carrots. “You want a treat, buddy?” I hold one out for him, and he takes it.
“He’s pretty.” Zephyrine’s face lights up, and if she’s scared of him, you can’t tell it by looking at her right now.
“You give it a try.” I hand a carrot to her, and she takes it gingerly.
“He won’t bite me, will he?” She eyes him carefully but the smile stays.
“No. Just keep your fingers down here.” I adjust her grip. “There you go.”
She lifts the carrot up as an offering of peace to Teddy, and he takes it, chewing it while he checks her out.
“Can I touch him?” She looks to me for permission.
“Yeah, go ahead. He likes a little pat and scratch right here,” I explain, taking her hand and placing it on his neck. She’s gentle as she runs her hand over him, tentatively checking in to make sure he’s okay with it. He leans in her direction, making a happy little chuff of approval.
“Is that good?” she asks.
“Yeah. He likes you.” I grin at her.
“I think I like him too.” She looks over him. “He’s just got a friendly vibe to him.”
“That’s Teddy. He picked the wrong ranch, I think, but we love him.”
“You’re a good boy, aren’t you? Such a good boy.” She praises him as she runs her hand over him in gentle strokes. I hand him another carrot, and he takes it, gobbling up all the treats and attention.
“You need more time with Teddy? I gotta prep them for a ride this afternoon, but I can wait.” Kell checks in with me.
“Nah, it’s okay. We just came down to say hi today,” I explain to Kell.
“When Dakota and I go riding, can I go with him?” Zephyrine looks at me hopefully.
“I think we can arrange that, right, Kell?” I look to the manager of the barn.
“Of course.” He nods.
She grins at me and then back at Teddy. “All right then. I guess I’ll be seeing you soon.”
“You want to meet anyone else today?” I nod back at the rest of the stables.
“No. I think Teddy was a success. I like to start small.” She smiles as we start to head out. Her fingers brush against mine accidentally, and I reach for them with mine, letting them link with the tips of hers as we walk. She glances down at the gesture and back at me, a question in her eyes.
“Thank you for trusting me.”
“When do you mean? With Teddy?”
“With Teddy. With Corey. With this plan of mine.” I stop to look at her.
“Ours. It’s my plan too. I want to help your family the same way you helped me.” Her eyes meet mine, and she’s firm when she speaks.
“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. I know what I said. But turning on your father like that… That’s a big ask.” I shake my head.
“I owe it to my mother and my grandfather to get to the bottom of all of this. I need to know for myself what happened to her. Who he really is. This is my shot to do that. Besides, you’ve done more for me in a couple of months than he’s done my whole life. If I owe anyone loyalty, it’s you, Levi.”
“You don’t owe me anything. But I’m happy if I can help you get to the bottom of things about your mom.
The odds of this, though, Zeph… I just want to be sure you understand them.
I can take you back to the convent, and we can do this without you.
We’d figure it out. Are you really sure? ” I ask her one last time.
“I’m sure.” She nods, her blue eyes holding mine. “I know the risks. Rowan made the odds pretty clear at that meeting. But we’ve come this far, and I want to see it through. So if we go out like Bonnie and Clyde…” She shrugs. “Then at least we can say we tried.”
I imagine her as a little gangster, robbing banks, and wielding a tommy gun while we drive an old V8 Ford getaway car on some winding backroads. I suppose it isn't all that different from what we're planning.
“You don’t miss your peaceful life in the garden of the convent?”
“It was pretty dull compared to this. At least until a handsome bespectacled priest showed up.” I hear her soft giggle as we start to walk again.
“Bespectacled, eh?” I adjust my glasses out of habit at her mention of them. “That into glasses then?”
“They highlight your cheekbones and make you a bit scarier.”
“Scarier?”
“Yes. Like you’re deadly and smart. You could slit my throat while you read me poems and explain their meaning and pentameter. That kind of thing.”
I pull her close and kiss her softly. I shouldn’t. Not out here in the open where my family can see. Because the way I kiss her isn’t like I’m trying to seduce her or keep her in line with little favors. I kiss her like I want to make her mine.