Chapter 31 #2
“I don’t think it’s worth talking about.”
“If it has you this riled, it obviously is worth talking about.”
“Fine. Have it your way.” I shift on my feet, crossing my arms over my chest. “I know you were there to kidnap me. That it was business to you. We were both dishonest. But did you… Was any of it real? All the flirting and the touches and spending time with me at the convent? Some of those conversations we had… Did any part of you actually like me, or were you just trying to get under my skin to get my attention? Seducing me on purpose?” We’d just sort of moved on without any discussion and now I feel silly for never asking.
He clears his throat and stands a little straighter, looking out across the field beyond the stables before he answers, and the delay makes my weary heart sink even lower.
“On purpose. But it wasn’t my idea.”
“Whose idea was it?”
“Does it matter?”
“If you want me to believe it wasn’t yours, yes.”
“Dakota and Charlotte.”
That knowledge pricks, particularly because I liked Dakota so much when I met her. She seemed so kind and genuine.
“I thought she was so nice.”
“She is nice. Has one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever met. But your father blew up her bar and nearly killed her and Grant. Destroyed the only memories she had of her family. She assumed you were on assignment for him. Can you blame her?”
“No. I suppose not. But I can blame you.” Dakota didn’t know me then, but he did.
“I told you what your father did to my family.” Then his face falters like he’s just processed what I’ve said. “You can forgive her, but not me?”
“You knew me. You spent time with me. You honestly thought I’d work for a man like that?”
“I didn’t know you. As evidenced by the fact I let my guard down just in time for you to drug and burn me.”
“I apologized for that!”
“And I’ve forgiven you, but there’s a big difference between then and now.”
“Is there? Or are these just more of your mind games to lure me in? Take advantage of the confused nun who can’t decide what she wants to make sure she stays in line with your plan. Seeing you with her…” I trail off, waiting for him to give me an explanation.
“I don’t have the energy for those kinds of games. I told Dakota and Charlotte as much when they suggested it. I’m terrible at it.”
“Well, you certainly know how to muck it up, considering you’re making plans to have sex with someone else right in front of me.
” I turn to get away from him because I can feel tears claw at the back of my throat, and I refuse to let him see me cry under these circumstances.
I might not have much pride left at this point, but what little I do have, I plan to hold on to for dear life.
He sighs, frustrated with himself or with me, I’m not sure, but an apology follows all the same.
“No one’s making plans. I’m sorry I did that to you at the convent, but I’ve been honest with you since. Even when it was painful.”
“I shouldn’t have said anything.” I don’t know if I can believe him, and this fight is pointless.
I should have kept my thoughts to myself.
He might be sincere, but he’d likely say the same thing if he were just trying to weasel out of this.
Either way, I feel silly for reacting so strongly when he’s being so calm.
“No, you should have. I want to know if that’s where your head is at so I can make sure you know that, however things started, that’s not the way it is now.”
“Right.” I have to suppress my tone. I want to believe him—so badly. But these are the same kind of lies I was fed before. He didn’t mean it. It was an accident. That was then, and this is now.
I don’t have the stomach for it with Levi though. I trusted him, wholeheartedly. Stupidly, it seems. I just want to be back at the cabin and feel silly in private.
“If you just want to drop me off at the cabin. I don’t want to be an impediment.”
“Zephyrine.” He reaches out for me, but I pull back.
“Who does she think I am to you, anyway? I doubt you’ve told her you’re holding me captive.”
“I haven’t.” His brows knit together. “She doesn’t ask questions. She knows better than that on this ranch.”
“Right. I suppose I should learn that rule as well.”
For all the time I've spent around men who play these games, I've never gotten good enough at them myself.
I've gone along with my father’s plans, however much I hated them, capitulating before I ever really put up a fight.
Then I retreated to the convent, forfeiting my life, instead of trying to beat Corey at his game.
Now I'll lose another to Levi and the Stocktons.
“Are you trying to piss me off for some reason? I thought we were being straight with each other these days.” I see the muscle in his jaw tick, and his eyes narrow behind his glasses.
“Excuse me?”
“I told you there’s nothing going on with Millie. I told you the truth about how things started. I apologized. Yet you still seem determined to have it out over this.”
“Just because you apologize doesn’t mean the other person has to accept your apology.”
“And you don’t?” His brow lifts.
“I don’t. I also don’t know that I believe you about Millie.
I can’t think of another reason the two of you would be giggling and leaning in to talk to one another.
” They looked like two sweethearts together from where I was standing, and I have a hard time finding another reason.
Especially when he won’t tell me plainly.
“Christ. We weren’t giggling.”
“She was.”
“But we weren’t.”
“Semantics.”
“You’re being infuriating right now.” I can hear the tone of his voice change from frustration to something else.
“You are infuriating!” I snap at him and turn to walk away for real this time. I have no idea where I’m headed, but I’m ready to go there as fast as possible. Run if I have to.
I don’t get far though. His arm darts out, and he snatches me back to him, pulling my body close to his. I can hear the forced patience in his voice when he speaks again.
“No. You don’t talk to me like that and just run off. It can’t work like that.”
“Then take me back to the cabin where I can read in peace while you go fuck your girl! I can’t believe I thought I had feelings for you!” I rip free from his grip and turn on him before I storm off.
I’m so angry right now, I’m irrational. Frustrated.
Hurt. Sore over the fact that he played me so easily at the convent.
I was so naive that I walked straight into the trap.
It's pathetic that I didn’t figure it out before now, but that he didn’t tell me in the time we’ve had since? That’s what hurts the most right now.
“Oh, I think I’m going to fuck her right here.
” He closes the distance between us, and I take steps backward as quickly as I can until I hit the barn wall.
Then he pins me against it. At first, I think he’s coming for me, but then I see him reach for something else, checking over his shoulder to see where Millie’s gone.
“You wouldn’t dare,” I challenge him. I might not have many chips to play, but I'm not going to just sit idly by either.
“Right over this saddle stand.” It was a rope he was reaching for from the wall over my shoulder.
“Now you’re just trying to get a rise out of me. I don’t deserve this.”
He slips a hand under my chin, forcing me to look at him while he studies my face. I can’t read everything behind his eyes, but I wish I could. I don’t know how I misread this so badly.
“You’re right, sweetheart. You deserve so much better than that, but unfortunately, you’re stuck with me.
” He starts to kiss me, and I nip his lower lip.
A guttural sound rumbles from his chest, and he pins me up against the wall as he kisses his way down my throat.
It’s the perfect distraction while he snatches my wrists and ties them with the rope.
“What are you doing?” When I try to pull my wrists free, it only tightens the knot.
“Proving to you that I don’t have any interest in Millie.
” He pulls the rope and my wrists with it.
My feet are forced to move to keep me from falling forward.
The rope acts as leverage so he can bend me over the saddle stand.
Then he uses the small hook on the far side to secure my wrists, just like he did in front of Corey.
It leaves me completely at his mercy. He bends over to bring his eyes level with mine, smirking when he sees the shocked look on my face.
“I will scream,” I threaten. It’s empty though. My heart is racing in my chest, and everything is pooling low and warm.
“And she’ll hear it. Not just her either.
I imagine Kell and Grace are still out here somewhere too.
” Then the man winks at me. Winks! Just before he rounds me and pulls my dress up my thighs and over my ass.
“I like you in this color. Complements you so well when you blush. If you want me to stop, now’s the time to tell me. ”
I regret not keeping my pants on for the ride.
But I’d been thinking about impressing him, instead of being practical, so I put on this green sundress with a pink prairie flower print, hoping he’d like it.
Now I’m sprawled out over a saddle stand in a barn, only partially obscured by a half wall where anyone could walk over and find us.
I could tell him to stop. He’d listen. I know I can trust that much about him from the way he’d protected me.
But I want it. I want him against all my better judgment. Even with the frustration still bubbling in my chest. The only way out for us seems to be through, even when we know how much more complicated it will make things.
“Anyone can see.” I point out the obvious, as if he doesn’t know that already.
“They could,” he agrees easily. Goose bumps rise on my skin. I thought he was just proving his point. “Say it. Tell me to stop, sweetheart. Otherwise, I’m taking you right here.”
“You’re not serious?” It’s half plea and half question.