Chapter 13
Tristan
Isaid it.
I meant it.
I just wish it were a fucking lie.
Isn’t that the crux of this entire thing? That the one woman in the world I should want nothing to do with, I can’t get out of my head.
Lark’s green eyes widen for a heartbeat, and then she smiles softly. “That’s why I’m here.”
Fuck.
I look out toward the west, where the sky goes on forever, where there are possibilities and hope and a world where I could have her, if only there weren’t so many reasons I can’t.
There’s nothing to say, and maybe we both know it, which is why we’re quiet.
“Tristan,” Lark says my name like a whisper.
“Yeah?”
“This will pass. This…attraction we have. It’ll go away, right?”
I huff out a laugh. “I sure as hell hope so. Each time I see you, though, it doesn’t seem like that.”
“No, not for me either.”
The sadness in her tone makes my chest ache. “Maybe we should list all the reasons this can never work,” I suggest.
She nods. “That’s a good idea. I’ll go first. I don’t like you.”
I laugh, a deep one that goes through my entire body. One that I haven’t had in so fucking long. “I don’t like you either.”
“See, there’s a start. Okay.” She looks out at the view before looking back at me. “I think you’re an ass.”
“I am one, and I think you’re reckless.”
She purses those heart-shaped lips. “I am not reckless. I’m very mature and adultlike.”
“Are you? Because I’m not seeing it,” I joke, but I keep my voice even. I can’t wait to hear her rebuttal.
“I run a ranch, thank you very much.”
I lift my finger. “Ahh, I think your father and brothers do that.”
She gasps. “You ass. I work with the horses, I maintain the pastures, I can fix a fucking fence better than those three put together. I may not do all the things, but I’m a contributing member of it.”
“I never said you don’t contribute, but I run a ranch. I’m in charge of everything that happens.”
Lark huffs. “Well, Mister Responsibility, where are you now? Huh? Dereliction of duty if you need a term for what this little outing is.”
I fight back a grin. “I gave all the instructions I needed to before I came out here. What about you, Miss I-Run-a-Ranch-and-I’m-Doing-It-All? Did you make sure everyone was set before taking off on your horse?”
She glares at me.
I smile.
Then she laughs and slaps my arm playfully. “See, another reason. You like to push my buttons.”
I’d like to push her to the soft grass and kiss her breathless.
Yeah, I’m doing a bang-up job here.
“And you have an inflated ego.”
“I do not!” Lark says with frustration in her voice. “I swear, you’re trying to make me hate you.”
If only it were that easy. “Is it working?”
She slumps her shoulders a little. “No. Okay, back to the list. I would never want to date a man my family hates.”
“I would never want to be around your family,” I tell her.
“You know they’re very lovely people. Everyone likes them—except you Stones.”
I let that go. I’m not about to tell her what fucking pricks her brothers are.
I know how that’ll go. One time Maverick, her brother they don’t even seem to acknowledge, tried to talk shit about me and Fallon decked him.
I was very proud. It’s one thing to talk about your own family, pointing out all their many, many flaws, but it’s completely different when someone on the outside does.
“And you feel differently about my family?” I ask.
She sighs. “No, but…well, I think you guys hate us more than we hate you.” Lark pauses. “I take that back. My brothers are pretty big assholes about your family. Momma and I are the most levelheaded about it.”
“I’m pretty sure my father would love nothing more than to see you all leave town.”
“I bet he would.”
“Okay, my turn. I have a kid to think about.”
“I would never hurt Sadie,” she says with sincerity. “She’s the one Stone I actually like. She’s adorable and loves chickens. That’s clearly a sign of intelligence and grace.”
I laugh. “Yes, she’s too smart for her own good. I don’t think you’d hurt her. I just mean I have to worry about her, especially now that she’s older, and I swear that girl is able to uncover any secrets I have.”
“My turn.” She sighs heavily. “I don’t want to ever be with a cowboy again.”
“What?” I ask, completely stunned.
“You heard me. You’re all the same. Stupid, risk-taking, dumbasses who think you’re gentlemen and then break the hearts of girls everywhere.
I’ve experienced that enough, thank you very much.
I know your kind. You’re all smooth and make promises and then ride off into the sunset with some hussy on the back of your horse.
So, I want to date a respectable man. One who will treat me like the jewel I am. ”
I burst out laughing. “A jewel, huh?”
“That’s right.” She smirks and I swear, every stupid emotion I’ve buried comes to the top. Hope, dreams of a future, and a desire so deep that I don’t know if I can smother it.
I have to, though. If not just for my self-preservation, but for hers too.
I can’t be the man she wants.
“All right, I’m going to let that one rest there. You’re a jewel who wants more than a rugged man who knows how to take care of things. While that’s…a reason, it’s not the biggest.” Not the hurdle that is virtually impossible to jump.
“And, what, pray tell, is that?”
“That I can’t give you what you deserve.”
Her big eyes stare into mine. I see the questions swirling, the internal war whether to ask me or just let it go. Lark doesn’t choose the second. “What makes you say that?”
“Because I can’t.”
“You mean your heart?”
I nod.
“What if I don’t want your heart?” she asks, and I jerk back.
I’m not sure whether she’s playing a game or if she’s being honest. I lean closer to her, bumping her arm with mine. “What do you want?”
Lark moves her gaze back out to the landscape and then returns it to me.
“I don’t know, but I just got out of a relationship.
We named some reasons, and yes, they’re valid, but we both know there are a ton more.
You’re a Stone and I’m a Gatlin. That right there pretty much tells us that there’s no hope.
I don’t want your heart, Tristan, because I can’t give you mine.
I…I just…want to stop wanting to kiss you. ”
Fucking hell. I have so many thoughts that are warring in my head. I want that, too, but it’s not getting better. Every damn day it gets worse. Like an itch that you can’t scratch and you’re just desperate for it to stop.
“Then we have to do something.”
“Like what?”
“I’m going to kiss you, Lark. Right now. No more wondering. No more wanting. No more thinking about it all the time. No more questioning if it’ll be like breathing or hurt like hell. We’ll kiss now, here, and then we can put this damn desire behind us.”
Her chest rises and falls faster with each word. She nods. “Good, because I’m pretty sure you’re not going to be good at this.”
I’m definitely good at kissing, but I don’t tell her that.
My hand lifts and cups her cheek, which has been warmed by the sun. The other hand moves to her neck. Lark’s eyes glaze over, and she rests her hands on my shoulders. Slowly we move into each other. Each heartbeat feels like eternity.
Her eyes close.
Then mine.
And a moment later her lips are on me.
The kiss starts slow, just a sweet, tender touch of our lips. I hold there, because if this is all we’ll have, if this one kiss is going to assuage all our curiosity, then I’m going to make sure it’s thorough. That I’ve left nothing more for my stupid imagination to cling to.
All the bases will be covered.
I pull back, allowing her to breathe, and then I really kiss her.
Our lips part, and I slide my tongue into the depths of her mouth. Her warmth thaws the frozen parts of me with each second we touch. She moans and I swallow it, her hands now clutching my shoulders, pulling me closer and closer.
Lark tastes like sunshine and fresh air. I breathe, kissing her deeper and deeper. Her head tilts to the other side, and we keep going, neither of us willing to push the other away.
I should, but I don’t fucking want to.
This was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, and I just don’t care.
It’s worth it.
Every second of her touching me, kissing me, clinging to me is better than I ever imagined.
And isn’t that the worst part of all?