35. Chapter 35
Chapter 35
BERNIE
E xhaling slowly, I stared at the front door. Most shit never scared me, but I was absolutely terrified at this moment. Sweat beaded on my forehead as I smoothed out the wrinkles in my dark blue Henley. My mom’s words echoed in the back of my head, reminding me that being invited to dinner with Kat’s entire family was a good thing. A positive sign that her dad was beginning to accept our relationship.
But I’d failed to mention the absolute beating he’d given me when we’d both told him together the first time upon returning from that bar over a week ago. My ass had been sore for days. And ever since then, I’d barely been able to steal even five minutes with her before her dad would call her away.
Plus, her oldest brother, Colton, was back for a bit, so this dinner wasn’t just a casual Saturday gathering of the family, but one that I knew was going to be extra. The initial reaction of her father also hadn’ t included the minor detail that I was in the military, which I’d resolved to share tonight, until now as I stood in front of Kat’s house, unable to knock.
Tightening my hold around the two bouquets of flowers, I shifted from one foot to another. I needed to knock. It really was that simple. Just knock. That was all I needed to do. Yet, my knuckles wouldn’t rap against the wood.
Suddenly the door flew open and chatter from inside assaulted my ears. But it wasn’t Kat who filled the doorway but two men, one of whom I knew.
“Bernie,” Sawyer said, his eyes widening as he jumped into a boot. “Kat’s been pacing like a lunatic waiting for you. You know how important timeliness is to our dad.”
I nodded, sliding my gaze to someone who only looked a little like Kat. His eyes were a deep chocolate brown, with curly hair poking out beneath his dusty, straw cowboy hat. The sweat stain circling the band was an obvious sign he wore it often and worked hard.
The man was tall and slender, with weathered skin, and the deepest dimples—the one similar thing to Kat. There was a youthfulness to his gaze that landed on me.
“So, you’re Kat’s boyfriend,” he said, eyeing me as suspiciously as I was him.
“Bernie,” I stated politely as Sawyer stuffed his own hat on his head. I stepped sideways as the two men slipped through the doorway.
“Colton,” he replied.
“Ah, Kat’s oldest brother.” I nodded politely as a crooked grin spread across his face .
“Wanna roll with us? Dad apparently forgot to lock up one of the chicken coops, and we’ve had some foxes venture into the pasture lately,” Sawyer asked with a smile.
“This city boy wouldn’t know a hen from a rooster.” Colton raised a brow.
I glanced down at my outfit and chuckled. “Yeah, guess I didn’t dress with the idea of doing ranch chores.”
“Ranch chores are an everyday thing,” Colton replied as the two men skipped down the porch steps.
“Noted,” I replied with a smile. This was just the interaction I needed to calm my nerves.
As Colton walked on, Sawyer paused and jogged back my way. He jumped over the steps, landing in front of me. His brows raised and he exhaled deeply.
“Thank you, man. For everything. For giving me the chance to own my shit.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me into a hug.
“Before you ask, I told my family while you took Kat out muddin’ before everything went down. No, it didn’t get me off easy, but they’ve been nothin’ but lovin’ and supportive.” He clapped me on the back.
I returned the gesture, and we broke apart. “I’m glad to hear it, man.”
He tipped the brim of his hat. “Also, they don’t know that I told you. I kept you out of it. I’m glad my sister found you.” Sawyer waved and then launched himself off of the porch, running to catch up with his older brother.
No matter how much apprehension rolled within me concerning the dinner I was about to walk into, that was the boost I needed, and I stepped inside the house. Kicking my shoes off to the side where the rest of the family left their boots, I followed the sound of conversation past the stairs I’d snuck up before and rounded the corner into an open-concept dining room and kitchen.
Decorated with warm brown towns, the cabinets lining the entire wall space to my right had scratches and dents from a well-used life but still seemed sturdy. A sharp squeal pulled my attention away from Kat’s mom who bent over the stove across from me, and two kids latched themselves around my legs.
“Bernie!” Levi and Beau exclaimed simultaneously.
From my peripherals, I caught Kat’s dad as he leaned back in his dining chair and narrowed his steely gaze toward me. Unblinking, his stare remained steady as Kat’s mom spun around from the stove holding a wooden spoon.
“Oh, hello dear,” she said.
“One of these is for you, but I can see you’re occupied. Do you have a vase anywhere?” I offered, raising one of the bouquets of flowers, and she pointed to the cupboard next to the pantry to the left.
“In there,” she said.
“I’ve got it, Mom,” Kat’s voice inserted, and I glanced over my shoulder as the most beautiful woman spun around the corner. Casual jeans hugged her curves, and a simple yellow tank top highlighted how tan she was. The bullet wound on her arm was nothing more than a simple bandaged cut at this point and she flashed me her incredible smile.
“Hey, Kit Kat,” I said with a grin, and she rolled her eyes but snatched the flowers from my hands.
“These are pretty.” She stuffed her face near the flowers and inhaled deeply. “How’d you know sunflowers are my favorite?”
“Just a wild guess,” I replied and reached down, yanking both boys off my legs and hoisting them above my shoulders.
They giggled as I spun in a circle. Keeping my arms around their chests, their wild laughter filled my heart with a rejuvenation like blossoms in the spring. I’d once done something similar with Raiden. Lucky for me, he’d forgiven me once I’d returned home too.
“You think flowers and entertaining those two automatically win you approval?” Kat’s father sliced through the momentary joy.
“Dad,” Kat hissed.
I shook my head and gently flipped the boys back down to their feet. “It’s fine Kat. He’s just protecting you.”
“Exactly. Now, come sit. Right next to me.” Kat’s dad patted the seat to his left as nothing but the bubbling of gravy on the stove filled the air.
I stalked over to the empty chair, and without breaking eye contact, slid it back from the long, rectangular, ornate oak table. As I sat down, body heat encompassed my opposite side, and from the corner of my eyes, I watched Kat plop herself in the spot next to me.
“No, Kat, honey. You’re over here.” Her father tapped the plate across from me.
She shook her head. “Colton can sit there. You haven’t seen him in a while.” With deliberation, she jerked the chair forward and scooted closer to the table.
Her father crossed his hands as the front door swung open and laughter filled the house again.
I remained silent as the table eventually filled with the rest of the family and the delicious roast and potatoes Kat’s mom had made. Colton sat across from me, with Sawyer across from Kat and the two youngest on either side of their mom who sat at the opposite head of the table.
Casual family conversation bloomed around me as I observed the family and ate, all while ignoring the death stare Kat’s father had yet to remove from me.
Every slice of his knife through the meat came with a sharp squint in my direction.
Each bite he shoved into his mouth resulted in another icy stare toward me.
“So, Bernie,” Kat’s mom said, temporarily pulling my attention away from the awkward tension between Hank and me. “I never mentioned how wonderful that cookout was. Your friend, Ford. Where’d he learn to cook like that?”
“He’s from Louisiana. The bayou in this little town called Willow Roux. His family’s been there for generations, so he grew up with that food. Pretty sure his family owns an authentic Cajun restaurant,” I replied and slid another bite of roast in my mouth. “This is absolutely delicious, by the way. Thank you for the invitation.”
“It’s not our pleasure,” Kat’s father snapped, sliding himself into the conversation.
“Seriously, Dad,” Kat muttered under her breath.
“What? You want me to lie and pretend like I am okay with this? His reputation isn’t exactly one on the positive side, plus he ran away.” Her dad narrowed his gaze as he shoveled some potatoes in his mouth .
“I’ll be the first to admit I don’t always give off the best first impression,” I said without breaking my gaze.
“That’s it? You flew into town, and nobody knows what you do for work, even your mother won’t say anything. Then you somehow manage to stir up this major mess, and lose my daughter her fiancé, plus expose his drug habit that no one knew he had.” Hank’s fork clinked against the plate as he placed it down.
“One, I’m surprised you find the fact that Wyatt was involved in using and selling drugs as something bad against me, when it saved your daughter from a life with that. Two, I didn’t stir up the mess to find an easy way out of having competition. Which I know is exactly what you’re hinting at.” I gently placed my own knife and fork down and casually rested my hands in my lap.
“Don’t put words in my mouth, young man.” Hank wiped his lips with his napkin.
“Look your daughter in the eye and tell her I’m wrong, then.”
He clenched his jaw. “What about a job? My daughter deserves someone who can provide for her.”
I glanced at Kat, silently asking for her permission. She nodded once, and I returned my attention to her father. Sliding my thumb beneath the chain dangling around my neck, I slipped the dog tags out from beneath my shirt.
Colton dropped his fork onto his plate with a loud bang as a sharp hiss slid between Sawyer’s teeth.
“What’s that?” Kat’s father squinted, leaning closer .
“You’ve seen it before. During branding day.” I pulled it over the top of my head and stretched it out toward the man.
“How does a necklace answer what you do for—” He stopped talking the moment the dog tags slid between his fingers. Holding them close to his face he slowly shook his head. “No. Not only are you immature and impulsive, but you’re also in the military.”
“Yes, sir.”
“So, you’re a coward too. Ashamed of your career that even your mother hides it. From everyone.” He clenched his fist around the dog tags and slammed his hand against the table, rattling the dishware.
“Hank,” Kat’s mom cautioned.
I tipped my chin up and inhaled deeply. “No. I’m not ashamed. I’m a special forces operator in the Navy and most of the shit I do is classified and I can’t talk about it. So, it’s easiest to say nothing at all than try to explain that asking for stories doesn’t make it so I can magically share them.”
“You’re a what?” Levi asked, leaning forward in his seat.
“A special forces operator. I’m a Navy SEAL,” I explained, and both Levi’s and Beau’s mouths fell open. Even Colton and Sawyer leaned back in their seats, a little shocked.
“Now you’re acting like that makes you some big hot shot,” Hank said and threw the dog tags at my chest.
I caught them as they slid toward my lap, and I danced a finger around the edge of the silver metal. “No, sir. Just some guy who’s pretty good at what he does.”
“How long have you been in?”
“Ten years. ”
Hank snorted and shook his head. “Which means you didn’t immediately join the military. So, you screwed around for the first few years of adulthood.”
“Dad, seriously. Will you stop?” Kat cried out, and I slid a hand to her thigh.
“It’s all right,” I gently said and then returned my attention to her dad. “I completed my bachelor’s degree in engineering before joining the military.”
“You wasted a perfectly good degree to go and be a disappointment.”
“All right, that’s too far! He’s no disappointment! You’re acting like Wyatt was a catch when he tried to kill Bernie and was caught up in selling drugs. Please, Dad,” Kat exclaimed. “Just stop with the pestering.”
“I won’t stop. You’re my daughter, and I will make sure whoever you’re with is worthy of you,” Hank said.
“I’m fully aware, sir, that I don’t deserve your daughter,” I replied.
“How many people have you slept with?” he blurted out, and Kat’s mom’s eyes widened.
“Hank! That is so inappropriate to ask, especially in front of the kids,” she snapped at him, slamming her palm against the table.
I pulled my hand off Kat’s leg and turned toward her dad. “Respectfully, sir, that is none of your fucking business.”
“How is it not?” he snarled.
“Because there are things that stay between a couple, and that’s one of those. My sex life is my personal business, and believe it or not, it’s something I’ve already discussed with your daughter.” I reached into my pocket as Hank growled .
“If you want to be part of this family, then you need to grow up. Secrets are not allowed because that’s where—”
“Like this one?” I said and slid a picture across the table toward the man.
His eyes narrowed as he lifted the folded photo and studied it. I knew the moment he recognized what it was as his brows raised and he shot a terrified gaze toward me. “What’s this?”
“I knew coming to this dinner tonight, I’d be barraged with a fuck ton of questions. Kat had already explained that you’re not particularly fond of men in the military due to what happened with your wife’s ex-husband. Now, I totally understand that. But something didn’t make sense to me the moment she shared that detail with me.” I folded my hands against the edge of the table as Kat’s dad remained quiet and kept the picture hidden against his chest.
“What didn’t make sense?” he mumbled.
“The first time I met Kat, she was out uniting service dogs with Veterans. It seemed odd that you had so much hate for men in the military yet respected and were proud of your daughter. I knew you were aware of her training those service animals and the purpose of it.”
Kat’s dad leaned back as he slowly shook his head. “You let people think what they want about you, don’t you?”
I gave him a stiff smile. “There’s a difference between being impulsive and easily adapting to whatever situation is thrown your way. Most people mistake the latter as impulsive, and yeah, I let people think that, but I’m not an idiot. ”
“No, you like that narrative so people don’t expect how calculated you actually are.” For the first time since sitting down at this table, his expression shifted. “When you left Kat after she got shot, some of it was for this.”
I nodded. “I’m not looking for an easy in with you, or with this family. I don’t come with money like Wyatt did, but I am very loyal to those I care about. I truly love your daughter and only want what’s best for her.”
“What’s going on?” Colton whispered to his brother.
Sawyer shrugged, clearly unsure as I remained steady in my attention to Hank.
“Kat loves and respects you. She craves your approval and, call me arrogant or conceited, I don’t care, but that is what I’m asking for because I know I’ll do better by her than any other man,” I finished.
Hank inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. “You could share this with everyone but chose not to. You figured out there had to be more to my opinion and feelings within a couple months while I’ve been able to hide this for years.”
I leaned back in my chair. “I don’t believe in sharing secrets that aren’t mine unless it can cause harm to others.”
Hank clenched his jaw and pulled the picture away from his chest. “I haven’t seen this in as long as I’ve carried the secret.” Placing the photo down on the table, he traced the outline of a man who looked so much like Kat’s dad.
Soft gasps sounded around the table as a small smile stretched across his lips. “This is my twin brother, Marvin. He took his own life a year after being honorably discharged from the Army, and he’s buried in Arlington. I have so much respect for the military, but it’s taken so much from me. It took a lot from the woman I love as well. Yes, I know it gave me an amazing bonus son on top of the rest of my kids, but I can’t see anyone I care about hurting the way it’s hurt me.” He looked up at Kat and gave her a gentle smile. “That’s why I said I didn’t want you to date someone in the military.”
“Dad,” she whispered, reaching forward, and placed a hand on his.
“This picture of my brother and I was in the newspaper for his obituary alongside the one when he graduated boot camp,” Hank continued and inhaled deeply. “You, Bernie, are not what I judged you to be.”
“How so?” I asked as he raised his gaze to meet mine.
“I assumed you to be just as cocky and one son of a bitch as everyone else thinks you are. I don’t know how you let other people’s opinions and thoughts about you roll off your shoulders so easily,” he explained, and I chuckled.
“They might not be entirely wrong when it comes to being cocky. I do not lack confidence in myself,” I replied.
“That’s the understatement of a lifetime,” Kat teased.
I raised a brow and glanced at her. “But is it ill-placed?”
She rolled her eyes as Colton and Sawyer chuckled.
“You still have to earn my approval,” Hank continued with a raised brow as he studied me.
“Yes, sir. I have no doubt.”
“So, how good are you at your job?” He grinned widely and shot me a wink.
My jaw fell open. “It seems I was fooled too. ”
His grin widened even more. “Not my first rodeo, son.”
Kat’s eyebrows raised as her mouth formed a perfect O. “Are you serious, Dad? You’ve liked him this entire time?” Hank nodded. “Then what was all of this awkward shit?”
“That was me doing my fatherly duties. This city slicker never once complained when he got thrown into branding day. He had no issue helping your mother and Emma set up camp. Plus, he got on a bronc and held his own. I was impressed to say the least. But most importantly, I’d never seen you so happy and full of life, even if I can’t actually see that well,” he explained.
Kat rolled her eyes as I chuckled.
“I also had suspicions about his occupation after I caught a very blurry glimpse of his dog tags and the way he’d set up camp. Plus, how cryptic he was when he was asked how he learned survival skills some city boy wouldn’t know set alarm bells off. I do have one question though. Why ‘Bernie’ not Ben?”
Kat’s eyes widened as she spun in her seat to face me. “I’ve been wondering the same damn thing since I met you, and you’ve still never told me! Spill, now.”
I grinned as the fire behind her eyes erupted into the most incredible flames. “It’s my call sign.”
Kat pursed her lips and faced the table again. “Wow, all that build up for something lame. You couldn’t have a cooler call sign?”
“Every call sign comes with a story, no matter how lame or cool it is.”
“And your story is…?” Hank leaned forward and intertwined his fingers then rested his chin on his hands .
“I may or may not have set literal shit from a port-a-potty on fire during my first mission. It was an accident, all right.” I cocked a brow at Kat. “Anyway, my commander at the time, Griffin, went to ask what was burning, but halfway through, instead of finishing with the ‘ing’ said ‘eeee, this stanks’ and plugged his nose. Smoosh ‘burn’ and ‘eee’ together and you get Bernie. And it’s stuck with me ever since. It also fits as ‘Bernie the blaster’ because I’m in charge of blowing stuff up.”
A massive grin followed by a bellow erupted from Hank, and then he whipped his gaze back to me and wagged a finger in my direction. “This isn’t my full approval, just the opportunity to earn it.”
“That’s all I ask,” I replied with a nod.
“Hank Fisher, I should beat your ass!” Kat’s mother suddenly blurted out.
Laughter boomed around the dinner table as she began chewing him out for the secret, for his behavior toward me, and everything else that I didn’t understand seeing as I wasn’t privy to years of their marriage.
Kat’s fingers found mine in my lap, and she placed her hand in mine. “Thank you for not being scared off,” she whispered in my ear.
I tipped my head toward her and raised a brow. “Kat, I get shot at and have been less than a second away from being blown up. If I can’t handle a little tough confrontation, then I don’t deserve you or the approval from your dad.”
“Yeah, but this was a little over the top, and you know it.”
“My entire reputation is over the top because I let it be that way, what’s new?”
“You’re not upset? ”
“Other than the fact that he asked me how many people I’d fucked in front of the entire family, no,” I replied.
She pecked my cheek with a quick kiss. “That’s what you’re upset about?”
“I do have boundaries, Kit Kat, however small and gray they seem,” I replied with a wink.
She giggled and placed her lips in front of my ear again.
“Mom! Kat’s kissing Bernie!” Beau suddenly shouted, and every pair of eyes snapped to us.