Chapter - 9
ELOISE
Weeks had passed since I had both seen or spoken to Logan St. James.
Not going to lie, it was kind of a relief. Thankfully our schedules hadn’t synced up, because I was busy helping my boss, Pat, organize a few events for the early intervention clinic, and I was usually too tired and burnt out at the end of the day to do too much with my friends.
I had a lot going on.
My mother was constantly calling and trying to get me to hang out with her and her friends again. I had limited myself to two brunches over the last month and a half, which seemed reasonable to me. She was clearly upset about the distance I had quickly put between us since moving out, but she was a prideful woman and went out of her way to avoid letting me know that she was struggling with all of it.
I was okay with that.
Which was huge, considering it was me. I was raised by my parents to smile politely, never stir the pot, and never say no. It was wildly unhealthy, but that was the world they lived in. They were both raised the same way as kids, so it checked out. I, however, was breaking the generational curse. Saying no was okay, and I didn’t always have to smile and bend over backward to avoid hurting the feelings of others at the expense of my own comfort and peace.
Eloise Bane was a new woman, and I liked this version of myself much better.
“Lo?” I heard Pat ask from behind me. I swiveled in my chair at the front desk and smiled at the older woman and her use of my new nickname.
“Yes?” I replied as I saved my work on the schedule and gave her my full attention.
“I have a meeting in the next half hour, and I was hoping you would join me for it and take notes,” Pat explained as she set her bag down. She had just returned from lunch.
“Sure, what’s the meeting for?” I reached across my desk and grabbed one of the notebooks I had for such occasions. Pat was a great leader, but detailed organization was not her strong suit.
That’s where I came in.
“Were you here when Mr. James and his daughter Stella were clients?” Pat asked, sitting at her desk and staring at her computer screen. I froze, my thumb pressing on my pen to click it open before I wrote today’s date on the paper.
“Um. No,” I replied. I knew that Daddy James had been a client here because Beck and Courtney had told me so when I ran into him last year at a random club in LA. Apparently, he had the balls to ask Beck out at her place of work, in the middle of her workday. They knew that I had regretfully slept with him and made sure I didn’t bump into him again the rest of the night. I had avoided his random texts and calls throughout the last year, simply ignoring them. When I knew my dad was hosting another poker night, I went out of my way to be out of the house and do literally anything else with my time. I hadn’t actually seen him face-to-face since the night we spent together.
“Oh, well he reached out and wanted to see if I would be interested in an opportunity he had,” Pat shrugged, “I thought I would hear him out.”
I gulped, anxiety taking over my stiff movements.
“Alright,” what was I going to tell Pat? Can I please not be in the same building when he shows up? I may or may not have slept with him in some attempt at self-sabotage and I didn’t want to face the consequences of my actions? I nodded and turned back towards my computer screen, tapping my fingers on the desk as I mentally braced myself for seeing him in the next half hour.
It wasn’t like he would bring up what we did once he realized I worked here, and that I would be taking notes during this meeting. He wasn’t a total idiot, I figured.
I rattled off a text to Courtney, letting her know I would be panicking the rest of the day depending on how the upcoming meeting with Daddy James went. Minutes later, Courtney wandered up to the front desk that I was sitting at and rested her elbows on the surface, placing her chin in her fists.
“How are you doing?” she asked, raising her eyebrows at me expectantly.
“Alright.” I smiled nervously, letting her know with my eyes that I didn’t want Pat to know why I would be weird. Courtney nodded subtly, but then came around the desk and pulled up a spare chair, playing with a rainbow pop-it toy that we sold to a couple of kids who benefitted from fidget toys.
“Did Rosie’s mom cancel again?” Pat asked Courtney. Courtney nodded; eyes focused on the popper.
“I could use the break anyway, so I thought I’d hang out with you guys before whatever meeting is on the calendar today.” Courtney casually replied. I really appreciated her. She was a true, supportive friend. My other friends I had growing up would never bend over backward like this to stay with me to make sure I was doing okay. Courtney didn’t even need to be specifically asked to do this for me, instead she just saw that I was in some sort of distress from my text message and came right in. She didn’t question the fact that her presence would be appreciated when Daddy James walked through those doors.
The next half hour went by smoothly, Courtney making Pat and I laugh as she spun around in her chair like a bored child before the glass doors to the clinic opened and a bell chimed. I held my breath before I glanced up, bracing myself for over-whitened teeth and orange-tinted skin, when my heart jumped out of my chest at the sight before me.
“Whoa, what are you doing here?” Courtney asked, leaning forward on the desk, and holding a fist out for Logan to bump.
That’s right, Logan St. James had just walked through the front doors of the clinic. He looked just as surprised to see Courtney and me here but quickly recovered as he fist-bumped Courtney. He had two other large men with him, who were glancing around the clinic curiously.
Logan’s hands started working, and Courtney’s eyes widened as she flicked her eyes toward me.
“You’re here for the meeting with Pat?” Courtney vocalized his words for Pat and me. Pat stood up from her seat and walked around the front desk to properly shake hands with Logan and the other two men I hadn’t met before.
“Do you work with Connor James?” Pat asked after she introduced herself.
Logan nodded his confirmation.
Oh dear god. My stomach sank into my gut.
This was the worst.
The absolute worst.
Not only was I going to be nervous taking notes in a meeting with Connor, but Logan had to fucking be here too? How did he even work with Daddy James?
“Oh, I didn’t know Dad—Connor was your agent.” Courtney’s voice sounded through the slight ringing in my ears. I was gripping my notebook so tightly that the knuckles in my fingers ached, and I quickly dropped the notebook to flex some blood flow back into them.
Fuck me.
Logan had noticed my hand fidgeting, his dark eyebrows raising a little bit as he took me in before signing again. I was too focused on the reality I had to face as soon as the last man I had slept with came through that door.
“Yeah, she started last year!” Courtney’s voice started again. I blinked to clear my almost tunnel vision before I willed myself to focus on the conversation happening in front of me. Pat was chatting with the other two men who entered the facility with Logan, while he and Courtney were leaning on the front desk a few inches from me and staring at me.
I gave a wobbly smile to them both, inhaling a little more loudly than what was appropriate before I spoke, “Yup! I’ll be taking notes in the meeting.” I smiled, holding up my notebook again as if I needed to provide evidence for that statement.
Logan’s dark eyes glanced at the notebook and then back at me, before narrowing the slightest bit. He was suspicious. I didn’t blame him. Courtney signed something to Logan, making his brows lower as he took in her words.
The door chimed, and I felt my whole body stiffen.
“You guys beat me here, I see,” Daddy James’s voice sounded. Logan’s large body was blocking my view of the door, and I had accidentally locked eyes with him as I struggled to will my body to function normally. Logan’s lips pulled down, and his eyes took me in as he slid closer to me and mouthed the words, You, okay?
I nodded stiffly, giving him a tight smile as Pat started gesturing for everyone to follow her to the conference room.
I went out of my way to walk behind the group, ignoring the questioning glances that Logan was giving me.
Daddy James didn’t notice my presence until I had closed the conference room door, and he turned toward the sound. He didn’t even seem shocked to see me, his smile came a little too easily and quickly. He went out of his way to shake my hand specifically before I had a chance to escape to my chair opposite him at the table. I felt my stomach churn, my heart galloping in my chest as I had to deal with the fact that this man had seen me naked, and clearly wanted a repeat experience, if the way he let his eyes dance all over my body was any indication.
I let the duty of taking notes during the meeting become a hyper-fixation simply to get through this experience. I kept my eyes down as I wrote more detailed notes than I ever had for any meeting.
The gist of it was, Daddy James wanted Logan and a couple of other players from the Ducks to have an opportunity to sponsor events with the clinic. During the off-season was a good time to work on PR and social media, and Daddy James wanted to do something that meant a lot to him and his daughter.
I could feel his eyes on me throughout the entirety of the meeting, and it made me want to peel the skin off of my body.
It lasted about forty-five minutes before Pat called it, letting the guys know that we had other meetings to attend. We didn’t, but based on Pat’s response throughout the meeting I had a feeling she really wasn’t interested in whatever idea Daddy James had.
Thank fuck. I couldn’t deal with Daddy James coming back to my place of work regularly.
We all stood up, and Pat and I shook hands with all the men and gestured for them to leave the conference room first. Daddy James lingered when he took my hand one final time, his fingertips brushing against the palm of my hand in a way that made my skin crawl.
“I’ll see you around, Eloise,” he mumbled low enough for my ears only. I gave him a tight smile and fleeting glance before dropping my hand and clutching my notebook to my chest, clearly in a defensive posture.
I hated this.
I felt so gross whenever he looked at me.
Like he knew I wanted to forget about what we did, but he had no intention of letting me do so. Maybe I was just panicking. It wasn’t like he was maliciously seeking me out that much anymore. The last text he sent me had been months ago, this was just a horrible coincidence. Logan didn’t even know that Courtney and I would be there when he walked in.
Speaking of, in an attempt to keep myself from catching Daddy James’s eyes and unintentionally leading him on, I let my eyes land on the least threatening option in the room: Logan was already staring at me, a confused and concerned look on his face as he took me in. He had his hands in his pockets as he turned and left the conference room, Pat following closely behind him.
I exhaled a breath of relief and ended up shutting the door behind Pat, allowing myself some privacy as I worked on my breathing in the safety of isolation. I even sat back down in a chair and did some breathing exercises I had seen Beck and Courtney teach overwhelmed kids that they were working with here.
A soft knock sounded, and Courtney and Pat were back in the conference room with me.
“Are you alright?” Pat asked, concern etching her features as Courtney took the chair next to me and started rubbing my back.
“I’m fine,” I lied, “I just. I don’t feel comfortable around Da—I mean, Mr. James.” I realized during the meeting that I needed to tell Pat enough for her to know where I stood. Why I had acted so closed off and quiet instead of my usual friendly bubbly work persona.
“Oh,” Pat blinked, “Thank you for telling me…but, did something happen that I should know about?” She had pulled up a chair at the table as well. “I wasn’t super inclined to let him use the clinic as a publicity stunt for his athletes, but now that I know you aren’t comfortable working with him, I’ll definitely be emailing Connor to let him know that we aren’t interested.”
“Thank you.” I felt my lip wobble as a tear escaped my eye, relief washing over me at Pat’s words. I wouldn’t have to see him again here. I wouldn’t have to email or correspond with him, or anything like that.
“Lo,” Courtney’s calm voice made me look at her. “Did something happen?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, having a feeling, but feigning ignorance just in case.
Pat leaned forward, exchanging a look with Courtney before they both focused on me and Courtney continued, “Between you and him. I know you mentioned that you hooked up before”—I glanced at Pat, embarrassed that my boss now knew why I was uncomfy around a former client’s parent, but her expression held no judgment—“But was that…it?”
I shook my head, “We just hooked up one time. And yeah, it wasn’t great.” I huffed a laugh that didn’t sound too funny to me.
Pat gave Courtney another look, before asking me, “Did he hurt you?”
I widened my eyes, “What? No.” I shook my head again for good measure. “I mean, I didn’t enjoy it. But he didn’t force himself or anything. I consented.” I thought back to the night for a moment, remembering just how immediately turned off I felt after I realized how much I didn’t enjoy his touch. But I’d already made it that far, and he clearly had no intention of stopping, so I figured I would just rip off the band-aid and then leave as soon as possible afterward.
“Okay,” Courtney’s brows furrowed a little, “But he has reached out to you, right? Do you think his behavior is feeling dangerous?”
I could feel myself frown at her question, “No, no he isn’t dangerous.” Maybe just kind of a creep, and clearly clueless, but not dangerous. I thought for a moment, determined to ease their worries, “He’s just, I don’t know, annoying. He isn’t taking the hint.”
“Is he stalking you?” Pat asked. I felt my cheeks burn with humiliation. Dear god, how terrified did I look? I must have looked like a mess if this was where their line of questioning was leading. I quickly gave them a smile that was still on this side of wobbly before I reached out and touched Courtney’s hand.
“No, no,” I shook my head, “I am positive it was just a bad coincidence today. I didn’t tell him I worked here. We know one of the players, and he was even surprised to see us here.”
Pat and Courtney glanced at each other again before Pat nodded once and stood up from her chair.
“Thank you, though,” I didn’t want to brush off Pat’s concern. I smiled at her and took a deep breath before continuing, “I appreciate you checking in. I’m sorry I got a little spooked.”
“You’re welcome, and don’t apologize.” Pat reached forward to squeeze my arm before standing again, “Take all the time you need in here. If you need to go home, just let me know. I’m sorry I even took the meeting with him in the first place, Eloise.”
“Don’t be. Please, don’t be.” I waved her apology away, wiping away the second stray tear of relief that fell down my cheek. “I wanted to be brave about it. I didn’t realize how anxious I would be until now.”
“Of course, no problem at all.” Pat squeezed my arm once more and left, leaving Courtney and me in the room.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and because I was thankful for a distraction, I pulled it out to immediately see who was reaching out.
My heart skipped when I read Logan’s name in the text message.
Logan: Are you all right?
A nervous giggle fueled by the remaining adrenaline in my veins escaped my lips at his message, allowing Courtney to lean over my shoulder to read it. She rested her head on my shoulder as I typed back a reply to him.
Me: I’m fine. I just wasn’t expecting Daddy James to show up at my work today.
Logan: Fuck. I was worried it was because *I* showed up at your work today.
Logan: I was ready to apologize for ruining your day and everything.
Me: I mean, you brought him. So you can still apologize if you want.
Logan: I’m sorry for bringing Connor. I had no idea that my agent was the “Daddy James” Courtney had told me about.
Courtney giggled, “Look at you two, texting each other without insulting each other.” I smiled at her encouragement, pinching her thigh a little in response to her teasing. She slapped my hand away and lifted her head off of my shoulder to rest her elbows on the table.
“I know.” I let my brows furrow. “I don’t think I have ever texted him casually like this…did you tell Logan why I was so uncomfortable around Connor?”
“No,” Courtney replied. “When you were sitting there stunned at the front desk, I just told him that you weren’t looking forward to seeing Daddy James. I never said why. I don’t think I would have had time to, anyway.”
I nodded.
Taylor had already told me before that I didn’t need to justify why I had chosen to sleep with Connor, and that I was allowed to make that decision for myself and regret it afterward. However, part of me didn’t want Logan to know the details of why I had been so uncomfortable around him simply due to pride and embarrassment.
Another part of me weirdly wanted him to know, for reasons I couldn’t quite explain yet.
“Want to watch Persuasion tonight?” Courtney asked, rubbing my arm and providing the comfort I didn’t need to ask for. I nodded my head and pocketed my phone, letting the conversation naturally end with the sometimes kind, large man.