Chapter - 12
ELOISE
“I think I needed this,” I winced as I spoke, still feeling the residual burn in my throat from the shot Courtney and I had just taken. We showed up at Adam and Beck’s condo a few minutes ago with Josh and Taylor, who immediately encouraged us to take shots with them. The rest of the band wasn’t going to come, so it was just the seven of us.
Seven, because according to Courtney, Logan would be showing up tonight.
I was both excited and terrified to see him.
We hadn’t spoken since the night we texted.
Part of me felt like I needed to be the one to break the ice, but I was too nervous to. I didn’t initiate the conversation that led us to climaxing over the phone together, and I had no idea how to initiate a conversation with the large man afterward. I hadn’t ever done anything like that before.
Plus, my mom was up my ass lately, taking up all my time.
She needed my help with everything. Redecorating her house, helping the Halls (Adam’s parents) with their garden parties, and of course brunches at the golf course. I had even run into Daddy James one time at my parents’ house, and my mother was still upset with me about how I rudely left without any notice.
…Perhaps I was just being rude.
It wasn’t like he was stalking me, like Courtney and Pat had suggested at work. He had been friends with my father for years before I ever slept with him, and I only worked at the early intervention clinic after his daughter had been a client there. It really seemed like a coincidence, and it wasn’t uncommon for men to not get the hint. He wasn’t angry or demanding my attention. Hell, he didn’t even hurt or abuse me the night we spent together. He just…didn’t really care about how I was feeling. It was gross how self-absorbed he was when it came to simple sex, honestly.
But what could I tell my mother? Sorry, Mom, but I banged Dad’s golf buddy last year and now that guy makes me uncomfortable and I hate being around him.
No thanks.
I had felt so drained from my full-time job, putting in just enough effort with my relationship with my mother so that she would get off my back about moving out, that I had crashed early almost every night. I had very little time to brainstorm how to converse with him again.
So I took tonight as an opportunity.
Nobody, to my knowledge, knew what Logan and I did together. This would be the first time we had seen each other since then. How he acted would give me an idea of how to move forward from this weird limbo I felt trapped in.
The front door opened, and Taylor lifted their hand in greeting as they approached the entryway. I decided I needed to play it cool, so I rinsed out the used shot glasses in the sink while everyone greeted Logan loudly.
It wouldn’t be unusual to anyone for me to ignore him for a little bit.
“We’re doing shots!” I heard Courtney declare behind me in the kitchen. “Hey, Lo, can you pour one for him? Try not to spit in it or anything.” I giggled a little at her comment. Of course, she thought I still hated him. Would we have to pretend like we hated each other? …Did I still hate him? I didn’t think so.
That sounded like fun.
I rinsed out the last shot glass, and reached for a towel to dry it off, before turning to finally take him in.
He was large. Wider than Josh and taller than Adam. I felt my breath catch in my throat as I absorbed his presence. Logan had one hip propped against Adam’s large kitchen island, his arms crossed as his gray t-shirt struggled to hold its seams together. His dark curly hair looked a little damp as if he had showered right before he came over. His black jeans stretched over his thighs as he crossed one foot over the other. His dark eyes were already on me, making their way up from whatever he was staring at before I turned around.
Oh god, was he staring at my ass?
Did I just catch Logan staring at my ass again?
I felt my lips twitch, fighting a smile at the thought.
“I promise I won’t spit in it,” I made my voice sound disappointed as I replied to Courtney’s request. “Here.” I handed the glass to him, and he silently accepted it as he reached for the bottle of vodka that we had left out for him.
His fingers brushed across mine, unnecessary but purposeful.
My heart skipped a beat at the touch.
I weirdly loved it.
“What are we playing first?” Beck asked, rubbing her hands together as if she was a competitive person. She wasn’t. She was just happy to have everyone over.
“Pictionary?” Courtney offered. All of us agreed, and after Logan took his shot and we all wrote down random prompts on slips of paper, the games began.
The night played out smoothly. Logan and I caught each other’s gaze on occasion, but each time we did I felt my cheeks heat from remembering that night. I couldn’t think too much about the presence of our current company, so I quickly broke contact. It was obvious he was thinking about it as much as I was if the heat in his eyes indicated anything.
Or maybe I was just desperate to get laid.
I was sitting on the edge of the couch, on the leather chaise since I wasn’t part of the two couples who occupied the majority of Adam’s couch. Taylor was standing in front of Adam’s TV, frustrated with us for not understanding their scribbles on the large notepad as the timer ran out. Logan was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, thumbing something on his phone when the timer was ticking off its last seconds.
“You all suck!” Taylor cried, angrily scribbling nonsense over their picture when it was clear none of us were going to guess what they drew.
“Time!” Courtney called, making Taylor collapse on the ground, face-down in irritation. I was laughing, wiping tears from my eyes as I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. While everyone laughed at Taylor’s failure and started asking them to explain their drawing, I pulled it out to check the notification.
Logan had texted me. I felt my cheeks warm again, seeing his name at the top of my screen, and held my phone a little closer to my body before glancing around the room. I didn’t want everyone else to see that I was reading a text from him for some reason.
“What the hell is that?” Beck asked, waving her hand towards Taylor’s drawing.
“It’s a penis! It’s just a plain ol’ penis! How did you not get that?”
“Why did you draw it like that?” Courtney cackled.
“Are we supposed to be staring down the barrel of it?” Josh asked, pushing his black-framed glasses higher on his nose and squinting at the drawing. Everyone was distracted, so I tapped on the notification without meeting Logan’s gaze.
Logan: Please tell me I am not the only one suffering tonight.
I felt the corner of my mouth lift as I typed out my reply.
Me: Suffering how? I’m having a wonderful time.
I rested my phone in my lap and glanced around the room again, giggling at Taylor’s disbelief in everyone else. I then let my gaze fall on Logan, who was staring down at his phone which he also held close to his chest to conceal his messages.
Logan: If I didn’t see you smile before you sent that, I would be more worried that you weren’t thinking about our call as much as I was.
He went there. Just like that. In front of everyone, he was bringing up the last time I gave myself an orgasm. In front of him. Kind of. I tugged the collar of my shirt away from my chest as if I was fanning myself from the laughter everyone else was recovering from. Courtney took her place up front, and Taylor took the empty seat next to Josh.
She drew a prompt on a piece of paper and quickly got to work on her drawing.
Me: Are you distracted? Can’t focus on the games tonight?
I pressed my lips together as I rested my phone on my lap and stared at Courtney’s drawing, calling out a random answer I knew would be wrong to look like I was properly participating in the game until I felt my phone vibrate again.
Logan: I have been distracted for a while, Eloise.
My heart thumped in my chest, and before I could think better of it, I glanced to the side to where Logan was still sitting on the floor, his eyes on me for a second before he tore his gaze away and stared up at where Courtney was hopping up and down as she drew.
Holy hell, my lady parts loved reading that message from him.
Me: If only our friends weren’t around.
Logan: Really? What would you do if they weren’t?
I felt my heart take off in my ribs, pressing my lips against each other in anticipation. Were we doing this? In front of everyone?
Then a throw pillow hit me in the face. I pulled my attention away from my phone as Courtney continued to whack me with the pillow for not paying attention to her drawing and letting us fail. I laughed, pocketed my phone, and surrendered my attention to the game. When I stood up to draw, I may have added a little sway in my step. I may have popped my booty a little more than necessary when I bent down to grab a prompt from the bowl.
I could feel the heat of Logan’s gaze on me the entire time, and the adrenaline coursing through my veins was thriving on it.
Eventually, we got bored with Pictionary, so then we started playing Uno around the kitchen island. It got a little aggressive when we played with Courtney and Beck’s house rules and everyone kept stacking draw-fours on each other. Taylor may have thrown their deck down in rage before grabbing the bottle of vodka and taking a direct swig from it to help them cope with the size of their hand doubling.
It was a fun night. Nobody seemed suspicious of the fact that Logan and I were sitting as far away from each other as possible, and hardly glancing at each other when people were paying attention. It felt normal for us, and I was having fun with my friends.
Suddenly, everyone wanted to watch a movie. It was pretty late, and as soon as the two couples in the group snuggled up on the couch and got cozy, Taylor announced that they just matched with a person on their dating app and had better things to do. Everyone let them leave without much complaint.
That left Logan and me.
Beck had collected a number of blankets and pillows for Logan to lay on the ground, which he happily did with his head propped up against the foot of the couch. Courtney and Josh had scooted over to make room for me on the chaise lounge I was sitting on earlier for Pictionary.
We were flipping through Beck and Adam’s movie collection on the TV screen debating options when Logan sparked a familiar rage in me.
“What about this one?” Courtney asked about a newer romantic comedy that I hadn’t seen before but was excited to fill the screen, the trailer for it already playing in the background before anyone pressed play.
Logan had rolled his eyes.
“Excuse me?” Courtney had also seen his eye roll. “Do you have a problem with this movie?”
Logan turned and gave Courtney a raised eyebrow, an expression on his face that indicated he didn’t have to explain his reasoning to dismiss the movie.
“I could probably do a romcom tonight,” Josh said, wrapping a tattooed arm around Courtney, and tugging her back into his side. It was a fruitless effort—once Courtney got started, it was difficult to stop her.
“No, no, please,” Courtney smirked at the hockey player in the room, a challenge in her eyes. “Enlighten us with why this movie deserved an eye roll.”
Logan lifted his hands to sign, and I found myself studying them more. I was still in the middle of completing one of my online ASL programs whenever I had time at night, but not as much as I was hoping to have done by now (thanks, Mom), so I was very curious to see if I could pick up anything with the speed in which Logan signed.
He had been using ASL as his preferred form of communication since he was in college, according to Courtney.
“First of all, how dare you,” Courtney challenged. “I think you’re the only one in this room who thinks the movie is fluff.”
And at that, even though I didn’t understand Logan’s hands, Courtney had made his opinion perfectly clear.
The spark of rage I felt started to burn.
“Fluff? Are you kidding me?” I sat up on my seat, facing Logan entirely. “What makes it fluff? What would you like to see to make it not fluff?” Logan faced me, his dark eyes narrowed a little as he took in my confrontational body language and lifted his hands to sign. Beck vocalized for him because his hands were moving quickly.
Nothing actually happens in these movies, Logan explained, Where is the action? Adventure? Movies where the love story is the main event, are too predictable.
It was my turn to roll my eyes at him, because men. “So, what you’re saying is, movies where good things happen to women and women are treated with respect by their romantic partners are too boring for you?”
Logan’s eyes widened a little at my words, his hands quickly coming up to deny my claim, No, that’s not what I’m saying. Courtney had settled back against Josh, a smirk on her lips as she watched Logan and I go back and forth.
“That is what you’re saying, though!” I lifted my hands in the air, adrenaline coursing in my veins at the familiar irritation I felt for this man. “You just said ‘nothing happens’ in these movies. What you really mean is, you need there to be some sort of violence or betrayal or action-adventure in order to be interested in the story. Because a story entirely based on emotional vulnerability and everlasting love of women is not enough!”
That’s not just my opinion, Logan signed as Beck vocalized for him, That’s the opinion of the Oscars, IMDb, Rotten Tomatoes, and every other movie rating service.
“Which are run entirely by, say it with me—” I lifted my hands in the air again as if I was a conductor at an orchestra as our friends spoke with me, “—Men.”
Logan raised his eyebrows as he glanced at Josh and Adam, who had spoken with the ladies in the room.
“She’s right, man,” Adam shrugged, making Beck shift against his side. “If women were given the same amount of power that men had in Hollywood, romantic comedies would get higher ratings and appreciation. Romance is the most popular genre of movies and books because of how many women consume them, and yet, they get the lowest ratings because men control the system.”
Logan pursed his lips, a thoughtful nod on his head as he took in Adam’s explanation, I guess I can see your point.
I saw red. “The fuck?”
Courtney and Josh laughed at my reaction, probably assuming what I was going to say next.
I didn’t need anyone’s vocalization to understand Logan’s next sign of, What?
“Do you not understand what just happened?” I stood, making Josh cackle and hide his face in Courtney’s shoulder at my animation. “You were literally just arguing with me, but then Adam—a man—chimed in and stood up for my argument, and then you started to ‘see his point.’”
Beck and Adam were both trying their best to hide amused smiles, whereas Courtney and Josh were both openly laughing without shame at the situation.
Logan narrowed his eyes at me as he sat up, even though I was standing taller than him, his body language still held a bit of dominance as he met my gaze and started signing. No one was vocalizing, so he tapped Courtney’s leg to get her attention so that she could vocalize for him.
That’s not what happened, Logan argued, Adam just happened to make a clearer argument than you.
I gaped at him, making Josh snort at my expression.
“Logan, you’re digging yourself a hole, buddy,” Josh chuckled.
“You know what?” I shook my head in frustration as I growled in irritation and turned to leave the living room, heading towards the doorway where our shoes and bags were laying around. Maybe it was because Logan and I had always struggled to get along, or maybe it was because he was choosing to be ignorantly misogynistic. Or maybe I was tired and sensitive because of everything going on in my life.
Or…maybe I was sensitive because he and I shared something personal over FaceTime, and he had willingly dug his heels in for the sake of arguing with me in front of our friends.
“Lo, are you leaving?” Courtney giggled, but I could hear the concern in her tone.
“Yeah, I’m going home.”
I turned around to face the group as I shoved one sneaker on my foot, standing on the other foot awkwardly as I used my index finger to pull the heel over and step into it.
Logan looked concerned, a deep pinch in his brow as he stared at me and made his way to stand up, looking like he was going to come after me. Courtney had stuck her leg out to halt his progress, making him look down at her in confusion.
“Nah, let her go. You fucked up again, so let her be angry.” Courtney shook her head at Logan, like he was just a silly boy. A little sibling she took pity on.
“Are you calling an Uber?” Beck asked, sitting up from Adam’s side.
“Yes, I’ll text you all when I’m home safe.” Because a woman traveling alone was never a safe time, because the world hated women. As Logan had just weirdly proved.
I waved goodbye, glad that my friends were willing to let me leave in a huff.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, but I was too angry to look at it. I only pulled it out when I needed to confirm that the car driving towards me was my ride, and thankfully the woman driving the vehicle was able to read body language and didn’t try to make chit-chat with me.
Finally, I made it home. Susan was already asleep, and I found myself kicking my shoes off disorderly and running upstairs to my room. Then, after setting my bag down and taking in my surroundings, I realized I didn’t want to go to bed angry or irritated. So, instead, I snuck across the hall to borrow a couple of copies of some romance novels of Courtney’s that I was interested in reading.
Tiptoeing back to my room, I closed the door and locked it, then snuggled under the covers.
***
An hour later I checked the time, and it was about ten o’clock before I pulled my phone out to read my texts. I had managed to send off an “I’m home” text as I was kicking my shoes off, but I didn’t bother reading the others.
I sighed when I saw the ones from Logan.
Logan: Hey, I’m so sorry.
Logan: I thought we were just teasing each other.
Logan: I didn’t mean to undervalue your argument. That was a shit thing for me to do.
I rolled my eyes and tossed my phone on the bed.
I heard the front door downstairs open, and a couple sets of footsteps climb the stairs a few seconds before a gentle knock sounded at my door. The knob jiggled, but I had locked it, so Courtney’s voice called out to me softly, “Lo? Are you good?”
“I’m good,” I called back to her, “I’m just reading.”
“Alright. Josh and I are going to bed.”
“Goodnight.”
“Night.” Then I heard the sound of her bedroom door closing across the hall.