Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
WHEELS TURNING
CAMDEN
I lay in bed half the night, staring at the ceiling and running through every second of yesterday on repeat. Juju’s laugh, the way she looked at me like maybe she didn’t hate me, her body huddled into me to keep warm, the way her lips felt against mine…
Hell yes, it happened.
We kissed, and it was perfect.
By the time the sun comes up, I’m antsy. I shower and shave, pausing over which shirt to wear. I’d like her to look at me and for those cheeks to flush like they did yesterday.
When I park in front of The Kitty-Corner Cafe, I find my pulse kicking up from just thinking about seeing her again. I push the door open, and the delicious smells waft in the air like always. Juju’s behind the counter, her hair pulled back, and she’s laughing. My whole chest loosens.
And then I see Jackson.
Tires come to a screeching stop in my mind.
I meet Juju’s eyes over his shoulder, and she presses her lips together, the edges tilting up in a small smile before Jackson turns around and pulls me into a hug. He tries to put me in a headlock, but I have him in one in seconds.
“I didn’t know you were coming to town.”
“Surprise!” he says.
The room tilts a bit, my conscience at war with my heart because now I’m not just the guy who kissed Juju last night. I’m the guy who kissed my best friend’s little sister…the same one I promised him I’d never date.
I force a grin, trying to match his enthusiasm. “Yeah, surprise.” My voice cracks on the last syllable, and I cover it with a cough. Juju shoots me a wide-eyed look, one that suggests she’s either trying not to laugh or worried I’m going to confess all my sins.
Jackson points at the table closest to the window. “I’m over there. Grab what you want and come sit with me.”
I grin and nod. “Will do. How long you staying?”
“I’ve got a few days off, so I think I’ll just hang here, spend some time with Papa Hector and Uncle Hal…Juju…you.” He shakes my shoulder and grins.
A few days. Shit. I love my best friend, but his timing couldn’t be worse.
He goes and sits down, and I move toward the counter. Juju’s wiping down the espresso machine, but when she sees me coming, her cheeks flush. Even her ears are red.
“Morning,” I say softly.
She sets down the rag and moves toward me. But then her timer goes off. She holds up her finger to me. “I’ll be right back.”
Suzanne, her employee, hears her and says, “I’ve got it.”
“Thanks, Suzanne,” Juju says. She looks at me tentatively.
“How are you?” I ask.
“It’s been an eventful morning,” she says. “An eventful couple of days, I guess.”
My lips lift. “Yes, it has.”
“How are you?”
“Well, I wasn’t exactly expecting your brother this morning. I had plans to come in here and…”
She lifts her eyebrow when I don’t finish that sentence.
“And?” she finally says.
“And not deal with him quite yet.” I make a face, expecting her to laugh, but she just stares at me.
“Ahh.” She nods. “What can I get you this morning?”
Shit. I’m fucking this up all over the place, but I’m not sure how to fix it. “Coffee…and whatever you recommend.”
Her eyes flick to Jackson across the room, then back to me. She hesitates, then pours me a cup of coffee and hands it to me. My fingers brush over hers when I take the mug, and she glances up at me.
“Cinnamon rolls are fresh out of the oven.” Her voice is stilted now, and I want to leave so I can come back and start over.
“There’s one serving of quiche left.” She looks at the clock behind her.
“Since it’s eleven, you might be ready for lunch.
The soup of the day is Hungarian mushroom; sandwich of the day is grilled cheese. ”
“I’ll take it all.”
She blinks. “All three things?”
“I can’t think of anything better. I’ve been dreaming of that soup and the way you make a grilled cheese for a few years now,” I admit.
“Really?” she says, looking surprised. “I don’t remember you ever having this soup.”
“One time when I was at your house, you’d just gotten home from school, and Jackson pulled out the leftover soup. I couldn’t get enough of it.”
Her eyes brighten for a second, but she’s still being way more cautious than I’d like.
“Suzanne or I will bring it over in a few,” she says.
“Quit hogging Juju. I need a refill,” Bosco hollers from the table behind me.
Juju sighs. I turn and glare at Bosco, who gives me a surly look right back.
“I hope you’re not talking to Juliana that way,” I say.
His head rears back. “Juliana,” he sniffs. “Who the hell calls her that around here?” He makes an exasperated sound. “Juju knows I don’t mean no harm, don’t you…Juliana?” He mimics me in a low voice.
“I know how to handle you,” she tells him, which makes him laugh.
I think the only people who can get Bosco to laugh are Juju and Goldie.
When I look at Juju again, she gives me a pointed look. “Better go sit down. Jackson will be wondering what’s keeping you.”
Fuck. She’s pissed.
“Juju,” I say under my breath.
“Cammie,” she sings.
I narrow my eyes playfully and see a tiny crack in her aloof demeanor.
“What?” she asks, sounding a helluva lot perkier than before.
“Do I need to kiss the sass off your mouth?” I say under my breath.
Her breath catches, and her eyes flash to mine. She presses her lips together, and I watch the way they plump back up when she releases them, my pants getting tight as I think about taking that bottom lip in my teeth.
“Seems like I can be as sassy as I want when my brother is around.” She puts a cinnamon roll on a plate and sets it down loudly in front of me. “The soup and sandwich will be out shortly.” She lifts an eyebrow, and her tone is all business again.
I sigh and turn, then walk to Jackson’s table. He’s got about three bites left of a three-tiered stack of pancakes, swimming in syrup.
He takes a bite and hums. “I haven’t had breakfast like this in forever. A few days of this and I’ll need a sugar detox when I get home.”
“Or you could lay off the pancakes while you’re here,” I tease.
“No can do. No one makes them like my sister.”
“Can’t argue with you there.”
“What were you guys talking about over there? I couldn’t tell if I was going to have to break up a fight or if you guys were actually getting along.”
“We don’t fight,” I say, frowning.
He snorts. “Right.”
“We’re getting along…better,” I say carefully.
I take a sip of coffee and close my eyes. I don’t know why I ever criticized Juju’s coffee. It’s fucking delicious.
His eyes round in surprise. “Well, good. What brought about this change?”
I swallow. “I…took what you said to heart. I miss the days when we got along too.”
He smiles. “That’s great, man. I’m really glad to hear that.” He leans in. “How are things going with her and Bentley?”
“Oh, I don’t think he’s going to be an issue. I think they’re just friends.”
His expression is skeptical. “Are you sure? Papa and Uncle Hal don’t seem to think so.”
I turn and look around the cafe. “Where are they? Every time I’ve been here lately, they’re entertaining the place.”
He shakes his head. “I have no idea. I drove in this morning expecting to see them, but they’re nowhere to be found. Juju said they told her they had an important errand to run.”
“Hmm. Well, it’s a lot quieter around here without them.” I laugh.
“Anyway, back to you and Juju…it’s a relief, man.
I know you’re not gonna be like best friends overnight or anything, but…
it’ll be nice if you can at least get along.
” He laughs under his breath. “Do you know that for a long time, I thought you two might end up together.” He looks at me like Isn’t that the craziest thing?
My mouth goes dry.
He shakes his head. “God, you’d be such a disaster together.”
I choke on air, and his eyes narrow when I cough.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I croak. “Just…why do you say we’d be a disaster together? Just curious,” I add.
“I mean, there’s the obvious.” He holds out his hand and starts ticking things off.
“The way you bicker. Even if you’re keeping the peace for my sake, you’ve done nothing but set each other off for years.
” He leans back in his chair, looking at me like he’s got it all figured out.
“There’s nothing about it that would work.
Your schedules are completely different.
You’re going to bed a couple hours before she’s getting up.
You’re both obsessed with your restaurants.
” He points at me. “You, especially. You barely have time for me—you think you’d have time for a woman?
And then there’s the little issue of you never being serious about anyone. You’re a serial one-night stander.”
My chest has been tightening the longer he talks. “Are you sure you’re not thinking of your pattern? I’ve had one-night stands, sure, but it’s because I don’t have time to get to know people and date.”
He holds his hand out. “Exactly my point.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m not capable of it! I’ve been trying to build a career here, and the timing hasn’t been right. Doesn’t mean it’ll never happen for me.”
Jackson leans forward, his elbows on the table.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to offend you. I know you’ll have it all one day, man.
” His lips lift again in a cocky grin. “It just would never be with my sister, is all I was saying. None of it matters anyway, since this is all hypothetical. I know you’d never go back on your word. That’s not who you are.”
My stomach bottoms out. A bowl of soup appears in front of me, the sandwich coming next. I look up at Juju, who falters when she sees my expression.
“Thank you,” I say, my voice sounding hollow.
She frowns but nods. “Do you need anything else?”
I need you, I think. I wish I could go back to when she was five and I was seven, and I’d ask her to play basketball with Jackson and me.
Or to the time we were eleven and thirteen, and I’d stand up to Jackson and tell him there was nothing wrong with his sister and me being close.
All the times I’d see her again after being in other states doing our own things, I’d hug her and ask her to fill me in on everything I’d missed.
But I didn’t. And now I don’t know how to undo it all.
“No, this is good, thank you,” I say.
She hesitates and then nods and walks away.
I stare at all the food, wondering how I’m going to breathe, let alone eat.
The way she kissed me back last night felt like she’d been waiting for it as long as I have. Nothing about it was a disaster. When we kissed, it was like I’d been waiting to breathe for years and finally got air.
I never get serious about anyone? No, I haven’t.
Because I’ve never wanted to be serious about anyone but Juju.
Not in high school or college or even in Colorado.
Every time I tried, she was there at the forefront of my mind.
Juju with flour on her nose, Juju’s hair flying behind her as she ran by the lake, Juju’s grin when she tried something new I’d made, even Juju shaking with fury at me.
I’ve been trying to hide how serious I am about her for so many years that I’ve almost convinced myself.
Yesterday felt like all our fragmented pieces were finally aligning, the fissures that had formed fitting back together. It felt miraculous and so right, and it hits me all over again: I want this.
I want her.
All of it.
More than anything.
I glance at her and wonder what she’s thinking. I have no idea where she stands, what she thinks in the light of day. Maybe she regrets everything.
I get up, because if I stay planted across from Jackson much longer, I’m going to explode.
“I just remembered I need to be at the restaurant for a shipment,” I tell him.
“But you didn’t even eat anything,” he says.
“I’ll get to-go containers and take it with me.”
“I know I didn’t give you any warning, but I want to see you while I’m here.” He points at me.
“Yeah, for sure. Come to the restaurant. I’ll take a break, and we can hang out. And most mornings are good after ten.”
“Okay, sounds good. I’ll stop by later,” he says.
I stop by the counter and only see Suzanne. She puts my food into to-go containers. When Juju comes out of the kitchen, she sees Suzanne handing me the bag of food.
“I’m heading out,” I tell her.
“Okay.”
“Can we…talk later?”
She nods.
“Good.” I pause and lean closer. “I can’t stop thinking about yesterday.”
“Me either.”
I smile, and when she smiles back, hope blooms in my chest.