Chapter 24 #2
He kisses me then. Soft at first. Gentle. The kind of kiss that says I'm glad you're safe, I'm glad you're here, I'm glad you're mine.
Then it shifts.
His hand slides into my hair, and the kiss deepens. I lean into him, fingers curling into the damp hair at the back of his neck, and the sound he makes vibrates against my lips. His hands tighten on my hips and he walks me backward until I hit the wall next to his dresser.
"Is this okay?" he murmurs against my mouth. "We don't have to—I know it's been a long day—"
"Reid."
"Yeah?"
"Stop talking."
He grins against my lips. "Yes ma'am."
His mouth is on mine, urgent and hungry, and I can feel the hard length of him pressed against my hip through his jeans.
Want. God, I want him so much it's making me dizzy.
"Bed," I gasp against his mouth. "We should probably—"
"Yeah," Reid breathes, but instead of moving he kisses me again, deeper this time, his hands fisted in my sweater like he's afraid I might disappear.
The desperate way he's holding onto me makes my heart race. Like he needs me as much as I need him. Like this is just as overwhelming for him as it is for me.
His sheets are rumpled, the thin blanket tossed at the end of the bed the way he left it this morning, and the sight makes my stomach flip. We're really doing this. Finally. I don't think I've ever been more ready for anything in my life.
"Reid," I manage, and he pulls back just enough to look at me. His pupils are blown wide and he's breathing hard, hair completely messed up from my fingers.
I did that. I made him look this wrecked, this desperate. The thought sends heat shooting through me.
"Right. Bed." He takes my hand and pulls me the three steps across the room, but the second we reach it he's turning back to me, hands cupping my face. "Laine, are you—"
"If you ask me if I'm sure one more time, I'm going to lose my mind," I say, with a breathless laugh. "Yes, I'm sure. Yes, I want this. Yes, I want you."
Reid's smile is pure relief mixed with want. "Thank god, because I've been thinking about this for—"
I yank him to me, and we fall onto the bed, legs tangled, and nearly bump heads. We break apart laughing at our own clumsiness.
"Whoops," I say, grinning up at him.
I love this. I love that we can be desperate for each other and still laugh when we're awkward. That even in this moment, we're still us.
Reid catches himself on his elbows above me, and for a second we just look at each other. I can see the tattoo on his shoulder, the one I traced with my finger last week when we fell asleep together. Jared and Blake's names in black ink.
"Hi," Reid says softly, his voice almost shy despite the fact that we're breathless and desperate and his hips are settling between my thighs.
The sweetness in his voice when everything else is so charged makes my chest tight. How does he do that? Make me feel like I'm melting and burning up at the same time?
"Hi yourself."
Reid leans down and kisses me again, slower this time but no less intense.
I run my hands up his chest. I've seen him shirtless before - sleeping in his bed, working on the house - but this is different.
This is me getting to touch all that warm skin, getting to feel the way his muscles jump under my palms, knowing he's all mine.
That tonight we're not going to end with just cuddling.
"Your turn," Reid says against my mouth, his fingers already working at the hem of my t-shirt.
I sit up enough to help him pull it over my head. I instinctively want to cross my arms—hide the soft stomach, the extra padding that was always just a little too much. But I stop myself. I'm not going to let that little voice anywhere near this bed tonight. Instead, I let myself focus on Reid.
His eyes drop to my chest, then lower, and he looks... hungry. Like he specifically ordered this off the menu. Heat shoots straight through me.
"Damn, Laine," he breathes, and his voice is so rough I barely recognize it. "You're so—"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence with 'beautiful,'" I say, tugging him back down to me. "I need you to touch me, not give me compliments."
Reid laughs, low and heated. "Yes ma'am."
His hands are everywhere - skimming along my ribs, tracing the edge of my bra, threading through my hair. Every touch makes me want more, makes me arch into him.
This is happening. We're really doing this. And it feels right in a way that's almost scary.
"Laine," Reid says, and his voice cracks a little. "I want to—I mean, we should probably—"
"What?"
"Go slow. Make sure you're ready. I don't want to rush—"
I can feel him fighting for control, trying to be gentle and considerate while his whole body is tense with want. It's sweet and maddening at the same time.
The fact that he's trying so hard to take care of me when I can feel how much he's struggling makes me want him even more. This man who could probably have anyone, and he's worried about making sure I'm okay.
"Reid." I take his face in my hands, tilt it so he has nowhere to look but at me. "I've been ready since you kissed me in your kitchen last week. Stop trying to be a gentleman and just be with me. I will tell you if I need you to slow down." Or speed up.
That does it. Whatever thread he's been holding himself together with, it snaps. Reid kisses me like he's done being careful, and his hands are already working at my jeans. I lift my hips to help him drag them down, and then I'm going for his belt because fair is fair.
"Jesus," Reid mutters when my fingers brush against him through the denim. His whole body locks up. "Laine, if you keep doing that—"
"What?" I do it again, slower this time, watching his face the whole time. "This?"
Who knew I could do this to someone? Make Reid—steady, careful, always-in-control Reid—come apart just because my hand is on him. His breathing goes ragged and I barely have to try. Is this what power feels like? Because I could get dangerously used to it.
Reid's eyes roll back and the sound he makes is somewhere between a groan and a laugh. "You're going to kill me."
God, I want to drive him completely crazy. I want to see exactly how far I can push before he snaps.
"Good thing you're dating a nurse."
"Dating?" Reid's grin is wicked as he kisses down my neck. "Is that what we're doing?"
I smile at that, which is impressive considering his mouth is making it very difficult to form thoughts like a functioning human.
"Among other things," I manage, and then he finds that spot just below my ear and my toes actually curl, which is a thing I thought only happened in movies. "God."
His mouth moves lower, dragging across my collarbone, and whatever was left of my higher brain function just clocks out. Done for the day. Gone home early. There's nothing but heat and want and the ragged sound of both of us breathing too fast.
I've been with other guys before. This isn't the same.
Not just the physical stuff, though — yeah, incredible, obviously.
It's the way Reid looks at me. Like I'm precious and special.
Like he's in no rush. Like he wants to learn every single inch of me and he's planning to take his sweet time doing it.
I am so on board with that plan.
"Condom," I manage. "We need—"
"Right." Reid reaches for the nightstand, fumbling with the drawer. I use the opportunity to unhook my bra and toss it aside.
When Reid turns back and sees me, he goes completely still. We've done a lot of heavy petting, a lot of touching, but most of it was in the dark of my bedroom or his. This is the first time we're actually getting to see each other, and oh my god, why did we wait so long?
"Holy shit," he breathes, and his voice comes out so quiet, so careful, like he's afraid of breaking something. My skin prickles everywhere his eyes land.
"Laine, I... fuck, you're incredible."
And what am I supposed to do with that? What do you do when someone gives you a compliment like that and clearly means it? I open my mouth to deflect, to say something about the lighting doing all the heavy lifting, but the way he's staring at me shorts out every joke I had loaded.
"Reid—"
"I'm serious. I've been thinking about this, about you, for weeks. But seeing you like this..." He shakes his head, slow, like his brain is buffering. "You're so much more than I imagined."
Heat crawls up my neck and spreads across my collarbones, and I can feel it, the blush betraying me in real time.
So much for playing it cool. So much for pretending I'm not standing here completely undone by a guy who looks at me like I'm a miracle when I know for a fact I'm closer to a well-meaning disaster.
His words are making my stomach jump around. Not the polite flutter you get when someone says the right thing at the right time. This is bigger. Stupider.
Heat crawls up my neck. "More how?"
Reid's hands trace along my ribs, barely there, and I shiver like an idiot. "More beautiful. More real. More everything." His thumbs brush across my nipples and I arch into him before I can pretend I wasn't going to. "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you."
I've never had anyone look at me this way. Talk to me this way. Like I'm not just the fun option, the easy option, but someone worth the whole sentence.
Which is terrifying. Obviously.
"Show me," I whisper, tugging at his jeans because apparently I deal with emotional honesty the same way I deal with everything else — by moving forward before I can talk myself out of it. "Show me how much you want me."
Reid strips off the rest of his clothes, and when he settles between my legs, the weight of him is a lot. The good kind of a lot. All hard muscle and sharp edges pressing into my thighs, making me feel ridiculously soft by comparison.
"Laine," he says, his voice rough. "I need you to know... this matters to me. You matter to me."