Chapter 24 #3
The vulnerability in his voice — the way he needs me to understand this isn't just sex for him — my brain short-circuits for a second.
Just goes blank. No sarcasm, no exit strategy, no clever little quip to wedge between me and the thing I'm feeling.
Just him, looking at me like that, and me, not running.
Dangerous. So dangerous.
"It matters to me too." And I mean it.
"Good." Reid leans down and kisses me, soft and sweet. "Because I don't think I could stop even if you asked me to."
That raw, ragged edge in his voice makes my knees wobble. He's just as gone as I am. Good.
"Then don't stop."
Reid reaches for the condom, and I watch him roll it on, my mouth going dry. When he positions himself at my entrance, we both go still. Just for a second. Like the air itself stopped moving.
"You sure?" he asks one more time, and his voice cracks on it, just barely.
I could say something. Could form an actual sentence like a functional human being. Instead, I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him closer. "Now."
"Look at me," he says, and when our eyes meet, he pushes inside slowly.
The stretch is perfect, exactly what I need, and there's no way I can stop the groan escaping me. Reid's jaw is tight above me, arms braced, tendons standing out like he's holding himself back with everything he's got.
"God, Laine," he breathes. "You feel... Jesus, you feel perfect."
The way he says it — like he's surprised, like he didn't expect this to wreck him — makes me clench around him.
And the terrifying thing is I've never felt this close to someone.
Not just the obvious, physical part. The other thing.
The thing where every single wall I spent years building is just..
. gone. Dissolved. Like they were made of wet paper and I was kidding myself the whole time.
That should scare me. Probably will scare me later, when I'm alone and my brain decides to punish me for it. Right now I don't care.
"Move," I whisper. "Please move."
Reid starts slow, pulling out almost all the way before pushing back in, and my eyes roll back before I can stop them.
"Like that?" he asks, doing it again.
He's watching my face so carefully and I don't know what he's looking for. Reassurance? I've got nothing. No words can be formed. My brain is just white noise and the weight of him and the way his eyes won't leave mine.
We find our rhythm slowly, learning each other, and Reid keeps talking to me the whole time.
"You're so beautiful like this," he murmurs against my ear. "So perfect. I love the way you feel around me. I love the sounds you make."
And who even does that? Who just says things like that out loud, like it's easy, like the words aren't grenades?
I've never been with someone who talked during sex.
Every guy before this was basically a silent film with worse lighting.
But Reid is telling me exactly what he's feeling, what he wants, and it's wrecking me.
Every sentence lands somewhere new. Makes it impossible to float away to that safe little ceiling-staring place in my head, because he's right here.
Completely here. Not lost in his own thing, not performing, just — with me.
So of course I'm falling apart.
"Faster," I breathe, and Reid responds immediately, his hips snapping against mine.
"Is this what you want?" he asks, his voice strained. "Tell me what you need."
He keeps asking. Keeps checking in. Even now, when we're both barely hanging on, he wants to make sure I'm okay. That I'm getting what I need. Seriously, best guy ever.
"More. I need more of you."
Reid shifts the angle, just slightly, and suddenly he hits that spot and my whole brain whites out.
"There?" He caught it immediately. The second my breath changed, he locked in. The fact that he's paying that much attention, that he cares that much about what this feels like for me — heat floods through me so fast I can't think straight. "Right there?"
"Yes, god, yes. Don't stop."
"I won't stop." His voice is rough, almost fierce. "I'll never stop. I could do this forever, Laine. I could stay inside you forever."
"What a way to go," I mumble, making him laugh. And seriously, that feels even more incredible.
I'm so close. So impossibly close.
"I'm about to come," I warn him.
"Thank god," Reid breathes. "I don't know how much longer I can hold on. You're driving me out of my mind."
He keeps hitting that perfect spot, and I swear my entire body is just a live wire at this point, every single nerve lit up and climbing. Then Reid reaches between us, touches me right where we're joined, and I'm done. Gone. Completely shattered.
"Reid!" My back arches off the bed like I have zero say in the matter.
"That's it," he says, and his voice is wrecked, absolutely wrecked. "God, Laine, you're so beautiful when you come."
Which is a very generous thing to say to someone who probably looks like she's been electrocuted, but I can't form a rebuttal because watching me fall apart apparently does it for him too.
He buries his face in my neck and follows me over with this broken sound that might be my name, might be a prayer, might be both.
We just lie there after. Both breathing like we sprinted a mile. Reid's full weight is pressing me into the mattress and I should probably want him to move, but I don't. Not even a little.
"Wow," I say, when my mouth finally remembers how words work.
Reid lifts his head and grins at me, his hair going in about nine different directions. "Just wow?"
"My brain stopped working. Wow is all I've got right now."
"I'll take it." He rolls to the side and pulls me with him, and I end up curled against his chest like I was designed to fit there. Which is a disgustingly cliche thought. "Though for the record, that was the best sex of my life."
I laugh against his skin and press a kiss to his chest. "Mine too."
"Really?"
"Really." I tilt my head up to look at him. "I've never... I mean, no one's ever talked to me like that before. During."
"Did you like it?"
How can he even doubt it? He heard those noises I was making.
"I loved it. I loved hearing what you were thinking, what you were feeling." Heat crawls up my neck, because apparently I can have this man inside me without blushing but I can't talk about it after. Cool. Very normal. "It made everything more intense."
Reid's smile goes soft and pleased, and I want to bottle it. Or lick it. Both. "Good. Because I have a lot more things I want to tell you."
Something moves through me that has nothing to do with the cool air on my skin.
Future times. Reid, still this open, still this vocal, still saying exactly what he means with his hands on me.
I want him all over again and he's right here.
That's either the best or the most dangerous thing that's ever happened to me.
We go quiet after that, just holding each other. My eyelids are so heavy. It's been such a long day, and I'm completely wrung out in the best possible way.
Reid's fingers are tracing lazy, continuous circles on my bare shoulder.
"I love you," he says to the ceiling. Casual. Like he's commenting on the weather.
I smile against his collarbone. "I know. I love you too."
He shifts, propping himself up on one elbow so he can look down at me. His hair is a complete, gravity-defying disaster. "I love you more than sour gummy worms."
I raise an eyebrow. "The neon ones?"
"Yup. The blue and pink ones specifically. The ones that strip the enamel right off your teeth."
"That's a lot of love. Those things are basically a controlled substance."
"They are," he says dreamily. "I love you more than finding an accidental onion ring at the bottom of a basket of fries."
"Okay, now I know you're lying."
"Hand to god." He puts his hand on his chest like he's swearing an oath. "More than the onion ring, Laine."
This ridiculous man. I'm lying here naked and wrung out, and he's ranking me against fried food. Should I be upset by this?
Nah.
"I love you more than hitting a green light at the exact moment I flip the rig's sirens on. Do you know how rare that is? It's better than Christmas."
"Okay, my turn." I poke his chest. "I love you more than my fiddle leaf fig."
Reid's eyebrows shoot up. "You almost killed that thing twice."
"Which is why it matters, Reid. That plant is a miracle."
"Fair. Fair."
"I love you more than finding an empty break room with a full pot of coffee that someone else made."
"Oh, shit. Big guns."
"More than when the vending machine gives me two bags of chips instead of one."
"A blessing from the gods."
Reid drops his forehead to mine, shoulders shaking. "If I had to choose between you and a lifetime supply of perfectly frosted brown sugar Pop-Tarts? I'd only hesitate for like... three seconds."
"Three whole seconds?"
"Maybe two. Depends on how hungry I am."
I smack his bare chest. He catches my hand before I can pull away, pressing a loud, ridiculous kiss to my knuckles, his hazel eyes crinkling at the corners.
"Two seconds," he whispers. "Tops."