Chapter 49 Austin - The Aftermath
Chapter 49
Austin - The Aftermath
T he other side of my bed was empty. Sydney must have gone upstairs to get ready for work. In the shower, I thought about last night. She surprised me by coming to my door. I should have told her no, considering she had a fight with Marcus two hours earlier. It was clear to me when she went upstairs upset and he didn’t come back into the house at all. On the other hand, I can’t think of any red-blooded man with a pulse who would have refused a woman standing in front of him in lingerie.
I shuffled to the kitchen in my pajama pants to start a pot of wake-up juice. An envelope sat in front of the pot, and I moved it out of the way. I set up the machine with a paper filter and fresh grounds and got out my favorite Garth Brooks mug. The envelope nagged at me, and I took it downstairs while I waited for my coffee.
I sat on the edge of the bed, and pulled out the yellow, lined paper.
Dear Austin,
I am certain I will remember last night for the rest of my life. I’ve always loved you, even though I didn’t always know it .
While you were in rehab, I remembered goals and dreams that I put aside for this adventure. It has been a wild ride, and I’m glad we got to share this experience together. But I realized that this is not my dream— it’s yours. I don’t want this life anymore. I am choosing to pursue my own goals and ambitions. I resigned from my position with the company this morning.
You are right where you belong. You are amazing, and I can’t wait to see what you do next. I need time to figure things out for myself. If our stars align again down the road, I will welcome that. You always have a special place in my heart.
All my love,
Sydney
PS: This is my last song for now. My lyrics are the million ways I’ve tried to tell you how much I love you. I hope you hear me this time.
I turned to the second page and found her lyrics.
No Regrets
I remember when we first met
I didn’t care for you at all
But you won me over bit by bit
And I slowly took that fall
Your friendship meant so much to me
I didn’t want my true feelings to show
We had a special moment once
But we let it slip away
Now I regret it took so long
For me to get out of my way
Don’t let the fear take over
Don’t wait to take that risk
Regret is the worst feeling
Knowing what you’ll always miss
No regrets
No regret s
I lied and denied my feelings
It made me feel like such a fraud
Now every day I am without you
Feels so wrong
Don’t let the fear take over
Don’t wait to take that risk
Regret is the worst feeling
Knowing what you’ll always miss
No regrets
No regrets
The letter fell out of my hand. My heart clenched, my head pounded, and I needed to throw up all at the same time. My head hit the mattress as I fell back onto the bed. The ceiling swirled around me as I gasped for air, and tears streamed down my cheeks. This wasn’t happening.
Wake up, Austin. It’s just a nightmare . How could she do this? I believed last night meant the start of something. She knew. She knew the whole time we made love, and she let me believe things were finally right between us. Boy, did I get fooled.
The numbness set in, and I must have laid there for a long time. My phone started pinging and wouldn’t quit. I didn’t move. I didn’t care. But then I thought it might be Sydney, and I sprung to my dresser to grab it. Venus. Three missed calls and four text messages. I called her back.
“This isn’t a good time.”
“Yes, I know. I am in the same situation. Maybe not exactly, but I didn’t find out until it was too late,” Venus snapped. “I’m sorry. I’m usually nothing but professional. But she was my friend, too. And I’m never friends with the clients I manage. Sydney was special.”
“I’m a little less inclined to point out her redeemable qualities right now. What do you need, Venus? I’m not coming in to work today.”
“That’s a damn shame. I had Tim McGraw call me and ask for you. He’s working on new material. Can you fly to Nashville later today? Company expenses and all. Blah, blah, blah.”
This news couldn’t come at a worse time. My head wasn’t in the game .
Wrong. I had to pull it together. I shoved my feelings all the way down in the depths. It was the only thing I knew to do. I couldn’t let Sydney leaving affect me.
“Austin, are you still there?”
“Yes, of course. I’ll pick up my ticket at the airport. Can you text me the departure time? I guess I’m doing some traveling today, too.”
“I’ll let Tim know you’re available. Thanks for picking up.”
“Hey, Venus, do you know where she went? Is she okay?” I wanted to get Sydney back. I needed her. This didn’t work without her.
She sighed. “No, I don’t. She didn’t say anything specific, and I didn’t ask. I was in shock.”
“If you hear from her, will you let me know?” My heart ached, but I hoped she couldn’t hear it in my voice.
“Yes,” she responded softly. “I’ll tell you whatever I can. Enjoy your time in Nashville.”
I opened my closet and pulled out my new Tumi carry-on suitcase. Sydney gave it to me as a gift. She even had it monogrammed with my initials. I would never spend that much money on something airline employees are going to throw around like a football. I tossed it on the bed and popped it open. After selecting clothes from my closet and dresser, I placed them in their compartments.
But then I got angry. I didn’t want anything that reminded me of her. I dumped the clothes out on the bed and shoved the suitcase into the back corner of my closet. My backpack would have to do. I would get through airport security way faster without a suitcase.
My cell phone pinged, alerting me that my Uber ride arrived. I grabbed my backpack and my favorite Stetson. It seemed like the perfect time to get out of town. All the drama would be waiting for me when I returned. Cowboy up, Austin. Cowboy up .