Chapter 24
CHAPTER 24
AVERY
I’ve spent all morning getting ready for today’s gathering. I’d planned to assemble thank-you gifts last night, but after Gabriel left I sat on the couch and stared at the wall for a solid hour. Then I went to bed and woke up throughout the night, the strength of Gabriel’s words reverberating through my mind and pulling me from sleep. Finally I got up, finished putting together the thank-you bags around four a.m., then found a few more hours of fitful sleep.
I look and feel like a zombie, but I’ve plastered on a cheery disposition and smoothed a truckload of concealer under my eyes.
Cam is supposed to stay away from Gem today. I want her to walk in with Dani so they can experience the surprise together. Considering she’s just peeked her head out the back door, I guess that’s not happening. She sticks out her tongue when she catches my exasperated look.
“I know, I know,” she calls, watching me arrange vases and candy jars of varying heights. “I just wanted to see if you need help.”
“No, you didn’t,” I respond, and she laughs.
“Ok, fine, I’m making sure you’re alright.”
I stop what I’m doing. “Why wouldn’t I be alright?”
“Well, Gabriel’s in town, so?—”
“So you tripped and fell and my address came tumbling out of your mouth.”
She laughs, then slaps a hand over her lips. “Sorry, I know you’re mad, but that was funny.” She walks closer, until she’s standing next to me. Using my scissors, she cuts open three bags of lemon hard candy and pours them in a jar. “I’m sorry about that, but he said he wanted to talk to you, and he looked really sad.”
“Since when do you care if Gabriel looks sad?”
“I don’t. I know you have unfinished business though, and it seemed like maybe it would be good for you to talk. Plus, I heard how much tension there was between you two.”
“Who told you that?”
“Laramie.”
I throw up my hands. “Maybe I should buy a billboard and use it for announcements.”
She opens a fourth bag of lemon candy and dumps it into the jar. “Don’t waste your money. Write it on the chalkboard instead. Which, by the way, you’re fired. That poem is depressing.”
“That poem is beautiful.” I pour a mountain of Skittles into a tall, thin vase.
“You should ask Gabriel if he wrote it.”
I glance sideways at her. The candy clinks against the glass. “You think?”
She shrugs. “You could literally sum up your entire relationship with that one poem.”
“He asked me to take him back. And for my forgiveness.”
Camryn doesn’t seem at all surprised. “What did you say?” She dips her hand in the candy as I pour. More scatter on the table than end up in her hand.
“I love him, Cam. There’s no denying that. But it’s a lot more complicated than it looks from the outside.”
Cam chews the candy. “It looks pretty damn complicated from the outside.”
“I don’t know how to trust him again.”
“I know.” She shakes her head. “Actually, I don’t. But here’s what I think. Everyone, at one point or another, hurts the person they love the most. How can we not? Real love demands we strip ourselves, and bare our souls. It is a vulnerable, messy affair, and nobody escapes unscathed. I think the point, at the end of the day, is to decide whether you can forgive Gabriel’s mistakes, and move forward. If the promise of the future is enough to make you forgive the past, then do it.”
I stare at my normally irreverent sister.
She gives me a look. “I know, I know. Give me heart arrows and call me Cupid. I’ve been reading a lot about love and marriage lately.” Cam plucks a napkin off a stack and wipes candy coating off her hands. “What does he say about drinking?”
“He swears he’s sober. That he doesn’t even want a drink. He called it poison.”
“Do you believe him?”
“Yes,” I say quickly, without having to think about it first. The word, its meaning and its weight, sinks in. It’s the first time I’ve let myself fully make that decision.
I resume my task of loading up ornamental jars with colorful candy. “It's all a lot to take. To think about. You know, if Gabriel had never done what he did, Hudson wouldn’t have entered the picture. I can’t decide if that’s another mark to add to his tally, or if maybe there’s a part of me that doesn’t hate that I got the opportunity to know Hudson.”
“I get it.” Cam gathers the empty candy bags. “You also figured out how to sell a house, buy a house, adopt a dog, write a book, and probably a whole mess of stuff you don’t even realize.”
“I wish Gabriel hadn’t needed to do what he did in order for me to learn all that.”
“Yeah, well…” Cam shoves the empty bags at me. “That’s not what life handed you, my dear.” She checks her watch and backs away. “I need to go get ready. I’ll see you in about an hour.”
She leaves, and I keep working. I can’t shake what Cam said about the poem, and it being from Gabriel, so I go in Gem and find Laramie.
“Hi,” she chirps when she sees me. “Need more caffeine?”
“Sure.” I lean a palm on the counter as Laramie steps over to the espresso machine. “I have a question about the Spill The Beans entries.”
She nods me on as she works, so I ask, “The ones that are typed out. I’m guessing they’re emailed?”
“Yep. They come into Gem’s general email inbox, and I print them out. Usually I just copy/paste them into one document, and then cut them so they fit in the fish bowl with the handwritten entries.”
“Can you show me the emails from last week?”
Laramie hands me a coffee, then her fingers fly over the screen used as a cash register. “Here,” she announces, rotating the screen so I can see. “The top four emails are the most recent.” She points at the chalkboard behind my head. “Including the one you chose.”
I see it right away.
AVeryQuestionablePoet.
My hand goes to my stomach. I drag in a breath. Laramie’s eyebrows pull together in concern. “Are you ok? Should I call your sister?”
I shake my head. “I’ll be alright. It’s just… I know this person. AVeryQuestionablePoet. I know him.”
Laramie, who knows nothing of what I’ve experienced in the past few years, seems to understand the gravity of the situation. She nods solemnly. “Is the poem meant for you?”
“I think so.”
Someone walks up to order. Laramie rotates the screen back to her. I float away, out to the space where I’m hosting the bridal shower, and force myself to focus on the finishing touches. I straighten chairs, tweak the photo board, rearrange the flowers on the gift table.
The entire time I think about Gabriel. About his poem.
Guests arrive, and the bridal shower is underway. In the back of my mind, lurks Gabriel.
Cam and Dani are hamming it up. Or, Cam is. Dani prefers to let Cam have the spotlight, but she can’t escape it entirely today.
They’re opening gifts now. They’ve lived together for a while, so the gifts are more fanciful. Not a hand mixer or knife sharpener in sight.
Jill in-person is just as terrifying as she is in electronic form. She’s quick, witty, snappy, and though she is petite, her aura towers ten feet tall.
She has just sat down beside me and announced today we’re going to mix business with pleasure. Her eyes are intense as she says, “The last few chapters you sent over were killing me. My stomach is in knots. Is she going to forgive Gabriel?” She holds her hands out to the side, eyebrows lifted.
“I haven't decided yet.” The answer is true for both me, and my character.
“Great job, because I’m on tenterhooks.” She taps the center of her lower lip, eyes scrunching. “I wonder about the divorce though.”
“What about it?”
She shrugs. “There’s something missing. I went back and reread the scene and it left me thinking there needed to be something more to it. Why does Gabriel divorce Avery?”
“Because he’s sitting in prison feeling ashamed and he thinks he’s showing her mercy.” It’s awkward talking about myself in the third person.
Jill’s head moves slowly back and forth. “No. The book needs a better reason. Something more tangible. Gabriel’s character needs something that forces him to make a choice like that. Maybe he’s in a fight with an inmate, or someone comes to visit him.” She makes a clucking sound with her tongue. “Think on it.”
“I will.” I’m not sure what to say. Not only do I have to make the right choice for me, but for my characters, too. Are they the same thing?
Cam sinks down into a seat beside Jill, her grin stretching the length of her face. “I bet you both feel you already know each other pretty well.”
“We were just discussing Avery’s book.” Jill swings her shoulders to face Cam. “Have you read it yet?”
“She read the first half to me, but I’m not up to date on the rest.”
Jill’s eyes light up. “Maybe you can chime in on something. I think Gabriel needs a better reason for having divorced Avery. Something is missing from it all.” She surveys Cam. “Thoughts?”
An odd emotion flits across my sister’s face. Her gaze meets mine for a fraction of a second, then skitters away. “Hmm,” she says. “I don’t know. Better let Avery handle it. She’s the creative sister.”
I hear it, and I see it. Camryn’s higher pitch, the unease in her posture.
Jill doesn’t know Cam well enough to catch any of this. She chatters on, moving from my book to the upcoming wedding. I smile and nod where needed, but I’m not paying attention to what’s being said.
For the sake of propriety, I tell myself I’m mistaken, but I know what I saw on Camryn’s face.
Guilt.