Chapter Thirty-Seven
Josie burned the final quilt, its beautifully stitched patterns curling in the flames while she watched from the porch.
The fire crackled and hissed, the bright fabric slowly turning to ash.
She had no way of knowing how long it would take for Travis to mend, but with each passing hour, Jonas improved.
He was already joking around and playing with his toys again, telling stories about his wooden animals.
After two days without fever or symptoms, Aunt Polly and Josie moved Travis to Josie’s bedroom.
He could hardly walk, but with both of their strength, they were able to assist him without any complications.
Josie couldn’t recall a time in the past seven years when she’d been more worried.
The man she desperately cared for had been on the verge of death while Jonas was in the clear.
The uncertainty had hung over them like a dark cloud, wondering if God would grant them another miracle, and He had.
Josie felt so relieved that she was able to have faith again.
The Lord delivered her and Nathan from the hands of Marcus, and now Jonas and Travis were healing.
However, the epidemic was still spreading through the valley like wildfire. According to Aunt Polly, not everyone was as lucky as them. Thankfully, the children were coming home because deep in her heart, she knew the Levingstons would be busy conducting funerals.
“Josie!”
Josie lifted her gaze and spotted Aunt Polly holding Nathan in the wagon, while the other children rode in the back.
Overwhelmed by longing, after a week and a half apart, she rushed towards them without a second thought.
Aunt Polly halted the wagon, and Ivy—cradling Gideon—and Lillian climbed down.
Josie knelt to their level, enveloping them in a warm embrace.
The short separation felt like an eternity.
She kissed the tops of their heads, wishing she could hold them forever.
“I missed y’all so much.”
“Please don’t send us away ever again,” Lillian begged.
Josie ran her fingers along the brim of Lillian’s snow cap. “I agree. I never want to be separated from the four of you another minute.” Josie pinched Gideon’s cheeks. “You’ve grown too much, little man.”
Gideon giggled and squirmed in Ivy’s arms. Josie hastily stood to see Nathan.
She felt as if part of her soul had escaped her body, being separated from her flesh and blood.
Aunt Polly laid him gently in Josie’s arms. His blue eyes had a hint of brown.
Josie’s heart skipped a beat. Brown eyes.
He was going to have brown eyes just like her.
She drew him close against her chest, determined never to let him go again.
“I missed you, sweet boy.” Josie looked up at Aunt Polly, who was bundled in her buffalo-hide. “Was he all right? Did he cause any problems for Rose and the reverend?”
Aunt Polly smiled and touched the top of Nathan’s bundled head. “Not at all. He was so precious, and Rose hated to give him back. Andy and Paul enjoyed playing with him. They’re already asking for a baby brother.”
“Maybe you can make Rose a magic potion,” Josie teased, bouncing her son up and down.
Aunt Polly chuckled, her hands resting on her hips. “I’ll start today. The valley should be overrun with young’uns.”
“Where’s Pa and Jonas?” Lillian asked, tugging at Josie’s wool skirt.
“Jonas is in his bed, and your pa is resting.”
“Can we see them?” Ivy asked, struggling to keep her squirming brother from tugging at her hair.
“If you’re quiet. They need time to recover, so don’t tire them out.”
Ivy put Gideon down, and he chased after them inside, his chubby legs hardly able to work in the snow. It made Josie’s heart ache to see Gideon walking. She missed the day she’d carried him in her arms and cuddled him. It didn’t matter if she was pregnant with Nathan or not—he was her first baby.
“We have five deaths so far—some settlers homesteading east of the Kents,” Aunt Polly said as they slogged their way to the cabin door.
Josie’s lips pressed to a solemn frown. “I know how it feels to lose family to an unexpected illness. When the fever started, I almost lost my mind with worry. Nearly losing Travis—” Josie paused.
She wanted to say more—so much that she thought she’d burst. But she needed to keep those thoughts buried, just like her dark secret she tried to forget.
“I-I was so frightened, Aunt Polly. I thought I was going to lose him days ago. I couldn’t bear that. ”
“And does Travis know about this? Have you told him how you feel?”
Josie’s breathing grew shallow as she held Nathan tighter, willing every ounce of her strength not to spill too much, but she loved Aunt Polly so dearly.
The woman was the only person who knew a small piece of what Josie hid from the town.
Josie closed her eyes, remembering the painful scene during Travis’s delirium.
“I’d look like a fool and ruin everything.
While he was sick, he was delirious for two days.
He . . . kept calling out Sophie’s name, and I know he’d never love me when she is still in his heart.
It’s ten years of marriage that can never be replaced.
” Josie sighed and looked at her feet. “I’ll forever be his mail-order bride. ”
Aunt Polly placed her hand on Josie’s shoulder.
“I would say sit down because we need to talk this out slowly, but out here, there’s snow past our ankles and inside is full of chaos.
Sophie and Travis had been in love for over ten years.
From being a widow myself, I can see how hard it is for him to love again, but you must be patient.
He respects you, and I know in my heart, he will grow to love you because he would be crazy not to. ”
Josie cradled Nathan’s face close to her chest, keeping him warm for a few extra moments.
“All I know about marriage is pain and abuse. This marriage . . . It’s different, and I want it to work.
Travis is a good man, and him being a father to my son should be enough, but the feelings I have are complicated.
I don’t know how to control them. I’ve never—I’ve never loved anyone like this. ”
Aunt Polly smiled. “Love is a beautiful thing, isn’t it?”
“It is.”
“You and Travis will be in my prayers.”
“Thank you, Aunt Polly.”
Josie and Aunt Polly entered the warm cabin as little Jonas and the other children’s laughter echoed from the next room.
It was the kind of joy Jonas had desperately needed over the past week.
Travis still rested in Josie’s bedroom, and she couldn’t resist wondering what he might be dreaming about.
But that thought faded; it no longer mattered.
She had to trust that their marriage was in God’s hands and that whatever happened was meant to be.
As the sun set and darkness settled into the cabin, Josie gently tucked the children into bed.
For the first time, Gideon nestled beside his brother instead of sleeping in a crib, their small bodies close together under the warm blankets.
Josie closed the bedroom door and went to check on Travis.
He’d slept all afternoon and evening, so the children were unable to see him.
Surviving the deadly disease was a miracle, and while his recovery would take longer, Josie had faith Travis would heal completely.
He was a tough man, eager to work again once his fever broke.
Knowing Travis’s stubbornness and need to provide, Josie knew in her heart it would be hard to keep him in bed.
He would tend to the livestock then return to the mercantile for extra work.
Josie had a feeling there would be more jobs to fill after the tragedies.
Josie opened the bedroom door and found Travis sound asleep.
His chest rhythmically moved up and down as he breathed.
His color had returned, and he didn’t look like a corpse anymore.
It was nice to see Travis as the man in her memory.
She thought back to the day he greeted her at the stagecoach, clean-shaven and in a brown suit and loose necktie.
Except now his face was stubbly and his hair long and tangled.
Josie peered at the crib, seeing the sleeping Nathan warmly swaddled in a bear-fur blanket.
Josie settled into the rocker in the corner after retrieving a quilt from the wardrobe.
She placed it over her legs, rocking gently as she closed her eyes.
She considered making a pallet by the fireplace like Travis had since the cooler weather set in, but after nearly losing him, she couldn’t bring herself to leave his side—just as she couldn’t with Nathan.
Thankfully, her milk supply hadn’t completely dried, so she was confident that within another week she’d be productive enough for him to have more than a meal a day.
Nathan had slept beside her since birth, but after their separation, he had gotten used to life without her.
The thought broke Josie’s heart, but she knew the day had come.
Rocking in the chair made Josie think about her own mother.
Mammy would care for Josie all day, and at night, Mama wanted all the time in the world with Josie.
She’d dismiss Mammy early, just to rock Josie to sleep.
Josie enjoyed being in her mother’s arms, hearing her lullabies.
Now, she was a mother herself, and she hoped to be the same type of mother to Nathan.
“Why are you sleeping over there?”
Josie opened her eyes. Travis sat upright against the headboard, wide awake. The moonlight reflected over him through the window like a halo.
“I thought you were asleep,” Josie whispered.
“I was waiting on you . . . and resting my eyes,” Travis confessed. “I thought you’d be here next to me.”
The vessels in Josie’s face burned hot like coal. She couldn’t tell if Travis was teasing her or if he spoke with genuine seriousness.
“W-Why would you think that?”