Chapter Thirty-Seven #2
“Because this is your bed.”
Josie held the blanket close to her bosom, concealing her cotton nightdress, but it didn’t matter because Travis had seen a much more revealing gown on their so-called wedding night.
“It was yours first. I thought I’d stay here with you in case you needed me . . . and because Nathan is in the crib. I’ll need to be close by when he cries.”
Travis patted the empty side of the bed. “Come on up. You can be close enough here.”
Her breath hitched. Her heart pounded like a runaway horse. Was Travis being serious? Or . . . was this a test to see what her true feelings were? Had Aunt Polly told him what she said in confidence? Surely she didn’t.
Josie swallowed a lump and crept slowly and carefully to Travis’s side.
Her legs wobbled with each step, and her hands shivered.
She placed one hand over the other, trying to hide her fear.
Was this fear? She trusted Travis. Surely he wasn’t asking anything intimate, especially while still recovering.
She settled on the end, waiting for him to speak his next wish.
“I think you’d be a better nurse if you were closer to me.” Travis peeled back the covers.
Josie steadily stuck her bare legs under, drawn to the warmth radiating from Travis’s body.
She had never been so close to him. Not like this, under the same covers.
Travis pressed his head against his pillow and faced her.
Josie pulled the covers to her chin, but the rest of her body laid stiff as a board.
Josie held her breath. Why did she suddenly feel frightened lying next to her husband? She shut her eyes. He’s nothing like Marcus. Forget about him. This is Travis, and you trust him.
“I wanted to confess something that I have yet to,” Travis whispered. “I’ve told you I am grateful for you, but . . . I never told you how blessed I am that you found me. I don’t know how life would be if Aunt Polly never suggested I’d find a wife.”
Josie smiled and giggled softly. “I guess you can thank Aunt Tia for that.”
“I wish I could’ve met her. She sounded like a remarkable woman, just like you.”
Josie bit her lip. Aunt Tia was up in age, but her intelligence never faltered. Josie wished she could have gone back in time and thanked her personally for this new life. She had been so bitter when Aunt Tia suggested it, but the woman had been right all along.
“I don’t know what I would’ve done without her.”
Be at the gallows, that’s what. A shiver crawled up Josie’s spine. She tried to forget long enough, but it weighed her down, pulling her into the darkness every time she had a happy thought. Travis already forgave her for her deception, but could he forgive murder?
“Have you decided what you’d do with your inheritance?” Travis asked.
Josie hadn’t thought about the inheritance for so long. What vexed her most was how her lawyer had managed to find her, yet no warrants had been issued for her arrest. None of it sat right. She had cut all ties with North Carolina, leaving that life behind as best she could.
“I don’t know,” she murmured. “So much has happened, and it slipped my mind.”
“I’ve been pondering about it since I’ve been trapped in this bed. I think you should put it in Nathan’s name since she was his aunt, too. Then when the timing is right, he can make a choice to either stay here or make something of himself.”
The thought was almost too perfect to be true. Josie tried to forget North Carolina, but she didn’t have a reason to shield Nathan from it. One day he’d ask questions about his father, and he had a right to make a choice. He could make more of himself in North Carolina than Montana.
“But . . . who would run the estate until then?”
“The lawyer seems to be running it well. Let him handle it.”
Josie bit her inner cheek. “Are you sure? That’s an awful load to carry for at least twenty years.”
Travis placed his hand over Josie’s. “God will take care of it all, just as He did this week. I trust our Heavenly Father more than before, and I will never be doubtful again.”
Josie turned her head towards Travis. “Me too.”
Travis’s arm slowly came around her, bringing her closer to him.
As the right side of her body pressed against his, warmth traveled from her chest all the way to her toes.
Josie’s heart skipped. She didn’t know whether to speak or move.
She stayed still, staring into his eyes.
He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand.
“Jo,” he whispered. “I want this to work between us.”
Her lungs pinched. She tried to inhale a breath, but she didn’t know what to do. Had she heard him correctly?
“Me too.”
The words slipped out effortlessly, without thought or restraint.
Josie’s pulse raced in her throat as Travis leaned closer, his mouth inches from hers.
She ached for his touch, she longed for his kisses, but fragments of her nightmares echoed in her mind, drowning out her desire.
A cold shiver raced down Josie’s spine, bumps rising on her skin.
Marcus’s hand latched around her throat, his scarred eye glaring with intensity.
The sound of him hitting the floor, the pool of blood running down the marble tiles.
Josie ripped away and turned her back to Travis, clutching the sheets as her breath hitched unevenly.
The law would come for her eventually—it was only a matter of time.
How could Travis hold her so closely, so intimately, when he didn’t know the whole truth?
She couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him again, not when he wanted so badly for this to work.
Lingering in his arms or treading another step forward in their marriage felt impossible. She wasn’t quite free from her past, not when she could be arrested any day. Josie wasn’t sure when that day would come, but she craved freedom more than anything.
“I’m sorry . . . I-I can’t . . . Not now.”
Travis scooted away until their bodies were no longer touching. “I’m sorry, Jo. I shouldn’t have acted so forward.”
Josie shook her head. “No . . . It’s my fault. I desperately want to make this work but . . .”
Tell him, tell him now. Josie shut her eyes, fighting her urge to cry.
Her efforts were in vain as a tear drizzled down her cheek.
The truth would set her free, but why was freedom miles away?
How could she put this family through another heartbreak?
It was better to remain distant once again than to submit to her growing feelings.
This was the best choice for both of them.
Travis rolled onto his side, facing her back. Just him looking at her was as comforting as his touch, but she couldn’t bear to look at him.
“I think some rest would do us good,” he whispered.
Josie laid still on her side, staring at the wall. After rejecting him, she couldn’t bring herself to see the sadness she sensed in his voice. “Yes.”
Silence returned as though it was their companion.
Josie pulled the covers to her chin. She was so close to having a real marriage with Travis, but now she was at the very beginning.
Every bit of healing she believed she had gained vanished.
Josie had believed her darkness would fade the day Nathan was born, but each ounce of light she gained was replaced by a sliver of gloom.
Josie looked over her shoulder. She wanted the man more than anything, but her pain and secret pushed him further from her reach. Perhaps a life together was all a hopeless dream, even if she told him the truth.