Chapter 4 #3
“That is correct,” probably-Rachel-Ava confirms. “When two people form a genuine connection, they’ll be given a green light for a limited amount of time. What you do with that opportunity is up to you.”
“My neck is going to get sore from checking on it,” Amber mutters.
That’s the end of Ava’s declaration. Soon after, the group breaks apart, with Colt, Amber, and Maura heading off to get ready for their dates.
Pax stays behind with Blake, and despite the protective emotional walls he’s quickly throwing up in his own mind, even Blake can see that Pax isn’t sure what the right course of action here is.
“Listen,” Blake tries, unable to believe that he’s giving this dude he has budding feelings for advice on how to date other people, even for one measly dinner.
“Just have fun. I swear, I’m not holding it against you.
Am I jealous? Fuck yeah. That bitch looks like she wants to peel your skin off and wear it around like a blanket.
If she offers you lotion, just know it’s a trap. Also, To Serve Man is a cookbook.”
That gets a smile out of Pax, so Blake continues.
“But I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to make friends here.
And to be fair, I probably get that skin-blanket look on my face when I see you, too.
Especially when you haul yourself out of the pool, all wet and sexy.
” Blake pokes Paxton in the stomach and he laughs softly.
“That is a strangely endearing sentiment. You’re a good man, Blake Lawrence,” Paxton says, way too serious, and Blake flushes as he looks away. He chances a glance down at his watch, but no dice.
Once again, their moment is interrupted. Rachel stops by, crouching down and tapping Paxton on the shoulder. “They want you in the confessional before you head to dinner with Maura,” she says, casting a sympathetic glance over at Blake that he truly resents.
As Paxton squeezes his shoulder and heads off, Blake wanders over to the kitchen to find some other dateless loser to hang out with.
Inside, it’s just Leah, and she looks particularly pouty.
“Where’s Matt?” Blake asks, knowing that the two of them have been getting closer the past couple of days.
They acted pretty cozy during that little bondage sesh, anyway, and Leah didn’t seem to so much as look twice at Colt or Maura.
“He’s ‘taking some time to himself,’” Leah relays, with air quotes and a put-upon sigh and eye roll combo. “Which probably means meditating down by the water. I don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling, though. Or why he’s taking it out on me. I’m as pissed off as he is.”
“Heh?” Blake replies, grunting around a giant bite of pizza that he snags from a takeaway box.
“‘Bout what? The dates? Who cares, make your own date. At least Matt isn’t off flirting with some other chick. Or dude,” he amends.
He leans back against the counter and stuffs half of the slice in his mouth at once.
“No.” Leah shakes her head and spears a forkful of salad.
“Not the dates — the suite. Ariana and Dani — apparently they had some big heart-to-heart earlier and Ava offered them an overnight in the private suite as a reward. Said something about it being the “biggest test of chastity.” She snorts and chews. “Matt’s totally jealous. Said it should have been us, implied I wasn’t ‘connecting’ sincerely enough.
” She laughs a little. “So ridiculous, right?”
Blake stares back at her, pizza abruptly forgotten. “Wait — we have a private suite? And it’s like, a reward? That you can earn?”
“Yeah,” Leah says slowly, like Blake is stupid. He’s not, just incredulous that he might have lost out on the chance at getting Pax in said private suite (to absolutely not follow the rules) by sending him off with Hell-on-Stilettos. If those two get a green light…
Fuck his entire life.
“I gotta go,” he says suddenly, abandoning his pizza in the sink and taking off towards the beach, where he knows production has a private table set up for Pax and Maura. Halfway there, Blake slows his roll and forces himself to come to a stop.
“Ugh, what am I doing?” he asks aloud, slapping both palms across his face and wiggling his whole body around in abject frustration.
“Arghhh,” he groans, before tearing his hands away and stomping back towards the bedroom where he does not pass go, does not collect $200.
He beelines directly for the bed he usually shares with Pax, strips, and crawls under the covers, pulling them up over his head and tucking them in so that he can’t escape.
It feels like days before the bedroom door creaks open again, followed by the sound of a familiar voice. “Blake?” Paxton calls out, and like the lovesick puppy he is, Blake immediately shoves the covers off and sits bolt upright.
“Hey!” he exclaims, way too excited, and quickly tries to reel himself back in. “I mean, uh… ’Sup? How was dinner?”
Making his way across the room, Pax takes a seat next to Blake on the bed.
He looks really good tonight, wearing a long-sleeved light blue button-down and khaki shorts with sandals.
His hair is styled and he looks kinda fancy, but still relaxed.
Blake hates himself for how much he likes it, how much he wishes that look were for him.
“Dinner was interesting,” Pax says coyly.
“Maura is… a character. I think it’s very clear that she was brought here to sow chaos, but nonetheless, I find her somewhat charming.
” Blake’s heart sinks. “But she isn’t you.
” Okay, now it’s in his throat. Pax looks up, pins Blake with his steely gaze.
“We did speak, and we did make a connection. I had the opportunity to kiss her, and I declined.”
“You — why?” Blake asks dumbly, clutching at the bedsheets in his lap, almost afraid to hear the answer.
Pax laughs — okay, not what Blake was expecting, but — and grabs Blake’s hand, shaking away the sheets it came tangled in.
“Because of this,” he says simply. Still in disbelief, Blake can only alternate between staring at their hands and staring at Pax’s face.
In his defense, it’s a very nice face. “Unless—” Paxton starts, but Blake cuts him off.
“I haven’t been moping in here all night because I don’t give a shit about you,” Blake says gruffly.
He pauses, takes a deep breath, and squeezes Pax’s hand back.
“Pax, I’m fuckin’ scared,” he admits. “I have all these new, crazy feelings, most of ’em are about you.
I want — I really want to see where this goes.
I could give a shit about anyone else here, but at the same time, no part of me wants to corner you into something you aren’t ready for.
Or like, keep you from exploring your own options. ”
When Blake looks up, he’s relieved to see Pax still looking back at him so damn softly.
“It’s fast,” Paxton admits. “And nothing I came here looking for or expecting to find. But being with you, getting to know you — it feels right. More than anything has for me in a very long time. I have no idea how what’s between us might translate back in the “real world,” but if things continue this way, Blake, I’d like to find out. ”
His dorky air quotes make Blake smile even wider than he already is, enough that he almost doesn’t hear their watches beeping, see the way they both light up green. “Holy shit,” Blake exclaims, as Ava chimes brightly from the other side of the room.