Chapter 37
Ellie
B irthdays were a big deal in the Mackenzie household. Ellie’s parents took them very seriously, and always made sure each kid got to celebrate their special day the way they wanted. They were also conscious not to make Ellie and Brayden share their day. Yes, they were twins, and, yes, Ellie loved her brother. But she was also glad their parents had always celebrated them individually instead of as the twins.
For their eighteenth birthday, their parents had offered them each the chance to pick a weekend mini-vacation before school started. Brayden had chosen a baseball game in Boston, while Ellie had chosen a Broadway musical. She was beyond excited to get to spend one-on-one time with her parents. Ellie loved them so much, and savored all the time she could when they were alone together.
Even when it was seven a.m. and her mama was crawling into bed beside her. Ellie felt Vera’s cold hands on her waist as she pulled Ellie into a snuggle. Which, of course, Ellie melted right into. She snuggled up against her mama’s chest as Vera wrapped her arms around her.
“Happy birthday, Care Bear.”
“Thanks, Mama.”
Ellie snuggled as close to Vera as she could get. Her mama had woken up each of her kids in the same way on their birthday for as long as Ellie could remember. She looked forward to it every year, but she wasn’t prepared for how emotional it would be on her eighteenth birthday. Vera must have sensed Ellie’s emotions because she pulled her closer.
“I love you so much, Ellie.”
“I love you, too, Mama.”
“It’s so hard to believe that eighteen years ago, you were still inside my tummy.”
“Uterus,” Ellie corrected with a laugh like she had since she was three and first learned the correct terminology.
Vera chuckled.
“You, my sweet Ellie, were the first baby I birthed. And let me tell you,” she chuckled again, “I wasn’t ready.”
“It’s hard to prepare for the most perfect kid.”
“True that.”
Vera kissed the top of Ellie’s head. As she often did when cuddling with her mama, Ellie took hold of Vera’s hand and twirled her wedding ring around her finger.
“Mason might have made me a mama, but you and Braden made me a mama. It was one of the greatest blessings in my life to be able to carry you two for nine months. And you know what the best part was?”
“Us not ripping your vagina like Evie did with Mom?”
The comment made Vera burst out laughing, which in turn made Ellie laugh. “Well, yes, that. But also being able to watch you grow and become this beautiful young lady that is so much more than my daughter. You’re my friend, my baby girl, one of the loves of my life. Never ever forget that, Ellie.”
“I won’t.”
Ellie yawned as Vera kissed her again. They stayed that way for a few moments—Ellie twirling Vera’s wedding ring while Vera ran her hands through Ellie’s hair. They had plans for breakfast, but Ellie didn’t care. She’d take moments like this over anything. Especially when her mom came in and joined them.
Isla laid down on the other side of Ellie, causing her to be sandwiched between her parents. There was no safer or better feeling in the world to Ellie. As Isla put her arm around Ellie and Vera, she held them close as she kissed Ellie cheek.
“Happy birthday, baby girl.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“How does it feel to be eighteen?”
“Pretty good, I guess.” Rolling over, Ellie snuggled into Isla’s embrace as Vera kept her arms around her. Her cold hands sent a shiver up Ellie’s spine as they touched her bare skin. “Why are your wife’s hands always freezing?”
Isla laughed, “I’ve been wondering the same thing for thirty years.”
“I can’t help it.”
“I know, baby. And I love you and your cold hands so much.”
Leaning over Ellie, Isla kissed Vera. She desperately wanted to have what they had one day. Isla and Vera had the type of love that could overcome anything together. They loved each other and their family more than anything in the world, and Ellie was a better person because she had grown up in their household.
The trio lay there for several minutes, reminiscing on the last eighteen years and asking Ellie if she was excited about the party. She was, of course. Every year since they were one, their parents had celebrated their birthday with a cookout with all their friends and family. Ellie always looked forward to it, but this year was different.
Because it was the first year that Sadie would be there.
Ellie’s heart skipped a beat at the thought of Sadie. She loved her so much or well, as much as an eighteen-year-old could. The last few times she’d been with Sadie, it was obvious she felt the same way. Which was a good thing because Ellie wasn’t sure how much longer she could go before her need to touch Sadie overtook her.
Growing up as Mason’s younger sister, Ellie knew that you could have sex with someone without loving them. But because of Mason, Ellie knew she didn’t want that. She wanted to care—genuinely care—about the person she shared her first time with.
And Ellie was beyond sure that person was Sadie.
She almost got the nerve up to admit that to her parents before they all got out of bed and headed out to breakfast. Ellie had chosen Carlson’s Cafe, of course, and ordered a stack of chocolate chip pancakes. Isla went with French toast while Vera chose waffles. While Vera sipped on an iced coffee with more sugar than coffee, Isla and Ellie were content sipping their Diet Cokes. At least Ellie had gotten the addiction honestly.
After breakfast, they walked down to the pier because Vera was insistent she get some pictures of Ellie on her birthday. Which, of course, Ellie had no problem posing for. Not only did she love a good photoshoot, she also loved being the sole focus of her parents’ attention for a few minutes longer.
It was selfish, Ellie knew that.
But as the middle child, Ellie craved that attention. Especially when it seemed like her oldest and youngest siblings got the most attention from their parents. Which Ellie was okay with. She never felt left out or unloved. On the contrary, their parents made them all feel so loved that Ellie always craved more.
And it was why she finally took a deep breath and prepared herself to tell them what was on her mind.
“Ellie,” Vera said softly as she smiled at Ellie, “you can tell us.”
“Tell you what?” Ellie wasn’t playing dumb; she didn’t know what Vera was referring to.
Nodding her head toward a bench, they sat with Ellie in the middle of them. Ellie turned to face Vera as her mama continued.
“We know something’s on your mind.” She gently tucked Ellie’s hair behind her ear. “You can talk to us. You know there’s no judgment here. Only love and understanding.”
“I know.” Ellie took in another deep breath and held it for a moment before blurting out, “Sadie and I have been talking about having sex.”
Getting the words out felt like a relief Ellie didn’t know she needed. Her shoulders relaxed as the tightness in her stomach she hadn’t noticed until then went away. She leaned back onto the wooden bench as she kept her eyes locked with Vera’s.
“Are you mad at me?”
“No,” Vera instantly answered.
“Why would we be mad at you, Ellie?” Isla rested a hand on Ellie’s knee as she turned her attention to her mom. “First off, thank you for telling us. I know that wasn’t easy.”
“And secondly,” Vera picked up, “we know you’re not the girl that just sleeps with whomever and doesn’t care. We know you love Sadie, and it’s natural to have those feelings and desires when you love someone.”
“But like we’ve always said…”
Isla didn’t have to finish, Ellie knew what she was going to say.
“You should never feel pressured to have sex,” Ellie repeated the words she’d heard her parents say a million times before. “I know. And I’m not. I think we both want it.”
Ellie lowered her eyes to her hands in her lap, noticing how both Isla and Vera had their hands on her knees. She took in a deep breath, held it for a few moments, then slowly let it out as she looked up at Vera.
“I wanted to tell you all in case it happened tonight.”
Vera held Ellie’s gaze for a moment before slowly shifting it to Isla. Ellie would forever be amazed at how they could communicate so well without words. The simple raise of an eyebrow or narrowing of the eye seemed to speak volumes to the other. And now she really wished she knew what they were thinking.
Were they upset? Angry? Going to tell her Sadie couldn’t come over? Would they make her move out of the garage apartment?
No.
Ellie knew the answer to every question. That wasn’t who her parents were. Never was, and never would be.
Finally, Isla spoke. “The only thing that Mama and I ask is that you’re both safe and consensual.”
“And you come to us if you want to talk about it after.”
Ellie’s eyes ping-ponged back and forth as they kept talking.
“Not in detail, of course.”
“You can go to Mason for that.”
“Or Eden.”
“I mean, I’d prefer it to be with us since we are a better sounding board,” Vera smiled at Ellie. “But in the end, always always know we are here for you.”
“I know, Mama.” Ellie wrapped her arms around Vera’s waist as she buried her face in her chest. She felt Isla slide closer to them on the bench, pulling them both into a hug.
“I can’t believe my baby girl is all grown up.”
“I’m not grown up.” Ellie pulled back just enough to see Vera’s face. “And besides, no matter how old I get, I’ll always be your baby girl.”
Vera let out a sound that was half sob, half laugh as she pulled Ellie into a tight hug. Beside them, Isla chuckled.
“And that right there just secured you the favorite child spot for at least the next twenty-four hours.”
“No way,” Mason’s voice startled them all as she walked around the bench and sat beside Vera. “I’m Mama’s favorite.”
“No way,” Ellie teased.
“Umm, yes, way. You wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me.”
“That’s true,” Isla and Vera said in unison before they all laughed.
Mason stuck her tongue out at Ellie. “So see. There. Mama’s favorite.”
“I love you both very much,” Vera added with a laugh. “And your siblings, too.”
“But you can tell us,” Mason put an arm around Vera’s shoulder. “We’re your favorites, right?”
Vera rolled her eyes, making them all laugh again. “I think we know who my favorite is.”
“Everleigh,” Isla, Mason, and Ellie all chimed in, continuing to make them laugh.
“So, are you crashing my birthday breakfast?”
“Nah, I was grabbing breakfast for me and Chase and saw you all over here and I had to come and wish my favorite sister a very, very happy eighteenth birthday.”
Mason stood, as did Ellie, as Mason pulled her into a tight hug. Of all her siblings, Ellie was closest to Mason. Their age gap was never an issue for them, and Ellie never had to doubt if her big sister loved her.
“I love you, Ellie.”
“I love you, too, Mace.”
“And you’re my favorite,” Mason whispered as she winked at Ellie.
The two settled back on the bench, snug between Isla and Vera. Ellie knew without asking there was no place else any of them would rather be.