Chapter 20
L ola’s heart was a mess of anticipation and nerves as she led Renee back to the bedroom.
She knew she wanted this, and she trusted Renee—she just didn’t entirely trust herself.
She felt naked and vulnerable even before Renee laid her back against the bed and thumbed the edge of her shirt, asking, “Can I take this off?”
Lola nodded and Renee eased it over her head.
Lola hadn’t been wearing a bra and her nipples tightened instantly.
Renee dropped the shirt to the floor, soon joined by Lola’s sweatpants and Renee’s clothes.
Renee moved between Lola’s hips. Her hands went right to Lola’s breasts, her mouth to Lola’s lips, then her neck as she worked her way down.
Lola allowed herself to relax a little. This was familiar territory, and it felt good.
Renee always felt good—the weight of her body, the brush of her short hair against Lola’s skin, the cup of her palm against Lola’s breast. She swept her thumb over her nipple, then added more pressure.
Lola felt herself light up. Renee knew that Lola liked this, that her breasts were achingly sensitive.
Renee captured a nipple in her mouth, sucking and teasing until it was almost painfully taut. Lola whimpered. Each caress of Renee’s tongue sent pleasure racing through her, but there was still a small yet insistent voice in Lola’s head asking if she was behaving like Renee wanted.
Renee raised her head and met Lola’s eyes. “Breathe, Lo.”
“I am,” Lola said lightly, but her breaths were tight and fast.
Renee placed her palm against Lola’s sternum. Lola stilled.
“Breathe for real.”
Lola took a deep breath into her diaphragm, then her lungs, and watched Renee’s hand rise with her chest. Then another, encouraged by Renee’s steady gaze.
She let the muscles of her back and shoulders loosen, then her hips, allowing her thighs to spread wider against the bed.
Renee nestled her body between them, warm and heavy against Lola, and tantalizingly close to her clit.
“That’s my girl,” Renee said, and pinched Lola’s nipple.
The praise paired with the sensation flooded Lola with unexpected heat and her hips rolled suddenly beneath Renee.
Renee’s eyes flashed and she rocked against Lola in response.
Lola pressed back, seeking more contact.
Renee slowly—too slowly—trailed her hand down Lola’s stomach, then lower to the crease of her hip.
Renee’s hand dipped, skimming her but still not touching her enough, and Lola’s hips moved again.
A mewling sound escaped her lips. Lola couldn’t remember making a noise like that before, but then again, no one had ever teased her like this.
“Not yet,” Renee breathed, then dragged her hand away. As she did, she allowed one finger to part Lola’s slit and graze her clit, and this time Lola gasped for real.
Renee shifted so her thigh was notched against Lola and, at the same time, took Lola’s hands and pinned them to the pillow beside her head.
Renee’s weight lay against the length of her, pressing her into the mattress.
That thigh rocked against Lola, kindling a heat that was so good, but not near enough.
Renee’s breath brushed against Lola’s ear.
“This okay?”
“Yes,” Lola gasped. It was more than okay.
Somehow Renee’s weight on top of her was making Lola forget herself entirely.
Her body had vanished and all that was left was pure feeling—the sensation building from her clit, the sparking in her nipples as they ground against Renee.
Renee’s mouth was hot and wet on her ear, her teeth grazing the tender flesh of her earlobe.
Lola cried out and hooked her leg over Renee’s for added pressure, but Renee kept her attentions on her ear until Lola was writhing against her, sweat sticking their bodies together, and Lola choked out, “Can you—”
Renee released her hand from Lola’s and used it to turn Lola’s head, giving her access to the other ear. Shivers racked Lola’s body as her now-free hand grasped Renee’s back.
“Can I what, Lo?”
“Can you touch me?”
“Where?”
Lola bit her lip, then said, “You know where.”
Renee took Lola’s mouth in a deep kiss, pressing her lips hard against her. As she did, Renee let out a deep, appreciative moan. That sound flooded Lola with renewed heat, even before Renee pulled back and said, “I’ll do whatever you want.”
Renee pushed herself off Lola and sat back. But with her weight gone, Lola felt incredibly naked, overexposed, and her earlier fears of being the focus of attention came storming back. She grabbed Renee’s waist.
“No,” she said. Renee held still, her lips parted in anticipation as she waited for Lola to say more.
Suddenly Lola became aware of another feeling, beneath that familiar anxiety and even her churning arousal.
A sense of calm at her core—the knowledge that Renee would take care of her, no matter how unrestrained she allowed herself to feel. “Stay here with me.”
“Okay,” Renee murmured. She laid herself against Lola again, that full-body sensation settling over her. “Like this?”
“Like that. I want to feel you on top of me.”
Renee kissed her mouth again, and her neck, and slipped her hand between them. She lingered at Lola’s breasts, but once she had her whimpering again, her touch trailed lower. Lola’s hips canted up against Renee’s fingers as they traced her slit.
“You’re dripping.”
“I know,” Lola said raggedly.
“Exactly how I want you.”
A swell of satisfaction swept over Lola again. She would never get tired of seeing Renee’s green eyes cloud and her cheeks flush with lust for her. She was still teasing Lola’s entrance and it wasn’t enough. Lola wanted her closer.
Lola bent her knees to clutch Renee’s waist, pressing herself against Renee’s fingers.
“I want you inside,” she whispered.
At once, Renee’s face shifted into something almost devilish, eyes glinting. Lola felt like she might come just from looking at it.
“Say that again.”
“I want you inside me, Renee,” Lola said, grinning.
When Renee entered her, the fullness she’d been craving swept over her.
Lola’s eyes snagged on how the muscles of Renee’s shoulder worked, how her arm disappeared between them.
She went slowly at first but then Lola moaned faster and Renee’s thrusts came harder, juddering through their bodies.
Lola’s knees gripped Renee, her hips bucking desperately as Renee grazed her clit again and again.
Pleasure was building hot and fast inside her, and she screwed her eyes closed.
“That’s it,” Renee panted against her. “Let yourself feel good for me.”
Then Renee crooked her fingers inside, brushing against Lola’s G-spot.
Lola cried out. It sounded so vulgar, but she didn’t care.
She let go of any sense of control or reserve and gave herself over to the building intensity.
Lola was almost thrashing against Renee’s pistoning hand now, frantic and desperate.
Renee groaned. “God, I love to hear you.”
“Don’t stop,” Lola gasped. “I’m close—”
“Will you look at me, Lo?” Her voice sounded different—raw.
Lola did. As she met Renee’s eyes—tender and riveted on her—she felt herself bear down against her fingers, and the wave of her orgasm crashed against her.
Lola’s back arched, her hands grappling against Renee, as a brutal wave of pleasure lit up her every nerve—and then a second wave, and then a third, and Lola let herself be swept away, untethered save for the way Renee’s eyes never left hers, the anchor in a storm they’d brewed together.
It was minutes before either of them could speak.
Renee rolled off her and onto the bed. Her hair was stuck to her forehead. Both of their bodies were tacky with sweat.
Lola felt limp, liquid. Renee met her eyes with a questioning look.
“I want … I want you to do that again,” Lola said.
H OURS LATER , L OLA lingered at the kitchen counter as Renee prepared dinner. Even the other side of the room felt too far away, but dinner was already late enough, so they’d pledged to keep their hands to themselves. Lola busied herself examining the family photos on the wall.
“This is a cute picture of you and your mom,” she said, pointing at one. “I forgot you dyed your hair green. Eighth grade, right?”
“Summer before.” Renee glanced at the picture and huffed a laugh. “My dad called it pond scum. He was actually in that picture, but my mom cut him out.”
“She did?” Lola looked closer. She hadn’t noticed the edge of a man’s shoulder at the border of the photo.
“She cut him out of all our pictures. I came home one day and she’d pried all the frames open and was going at the photos with scissors. Then she hung them back up like they’d always been that way.”
“That’s awful,” Lola said.
Renee shrugged. “Yeah, the pictures looked ridiculous. They were all too small for their frames.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
When Renee didn’t say anything, Lola added, “I can’t imagine anyone leaving you like that.”
Renee scratched at her eyebrow. “We don’t need to imagine it.”
“Do you ever talk to him?”
“He texts on my birthday.” Lola gave Renee space to continue, and after a moment she did.
“He wanted everything to be fine between us, right away, but I was so mad at him. At first, he’d call me and ask how school was, and I’d say he would know if he hadn’t abandoned us.
He was all, This is about me and your mom , and I’ll always be your dad .
Like he didn’t realize he’d left me too.
Eventually he had enough of my attitude , and then it was I don’t know what you want me to do .
” Renee laughed dryly. “As if it wasn’t fucking obvious, right?
He decided to give me some space to cool off.
I guess we’re both still waiting on that. ”
“I can’t believe he put you through that.”