Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Julie
“ J uliette, wake up sweetheart; we’re here.”
Asher’s voice filters through my subconscious and I jerk awake, shooting up in my seat, heart pounding out of my chest and my breathing sharp and fast.
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s just me.” Asher reaches out and cups the side of my face with one hand, his thumb sweeping over my cheekbone, eyes filled with concern as he takes me in. “Take a few deep breaths, okay?”
With his eyes on mine and his warm hand on my face, my breathing evens out and my heart slows.
“That must have been some dream.”
I look at him, confused. “What do you mean?”
“The way you woke up just now. I figured you were having a bad dream.”
I scoff. “Definitely not a dream. I wake up like that every morning.”
He stares at me. “Every morning? You wake up every morning like you’re escaping a bear? ”
I shrug. “Yeah, so?” I don’t see what the big deal is. I’ve woken up that way for as long as I can remember. It helps me get out of bed and get shit done.
“Okay, well, we’re going to work on that.”
I roll my eyes. “Hot Shot, I’ve been waking up like that for years. One week in the car with you and a week hanging out at your childhood home isn’t going to change it.”
His eyes narrow in response, and he holds out his hand to me. “Bet?”
Damn my competitive streak. “What are we betting? And where are we anyway?”
“We’re in Columbus, Ohio. And the bet is, if you’re waking up like a normal human being by the end of this trip, you have to let me take you on a date when we get back to Pittsburgh.”
“A date? Seriously? That’s what you want? Isn’t this whole insane road trip you proposed and forced me on one big date? That seems like weak sauce to me.”
A wicked grin takes over his face. “First of all, I didn’t make you do anything. I merely suggested that you come with me, or we could tell your brother and your friends about your panic attack.”
“In some cultures, that’s considered blackmail.”
“I can see how you would think that, but really, I had your best interests at heart. What if you had one and I wasn’t around? What if you were all alone? Who would ask you about all the things you see? Who would make sure you keep on breathing? You’re too pretty not to breathe.”
I do my best to smother a smile because there have been very few people who can keep up with me and the ones who can are almost all related to me or might as well be. I forgot how much fun it is to banter with someone on my level.
“I would have managed. And what about the bet? Are you sure you want to go with a date? I’ll give you a pass if you want to change your mind.”
“Juliette, I can promise you that no date with me would ever be weak sauce. And this road trip isn’t a date. It’s fun.”
“And a date with you wouldn’t be fun?”
His eyes darken and do a slow sweep down my body and back up again. “Oh, it would be fun alright. And…other things.”
The way his voice drops an octave at the other things has my entire body heating. Suddenly there isn’t nearly enough air in this car. Releasing my seatbelt, I shove open the car door and jump out into a large parking lot, taking a deep breath of frigid winter air.
Asher climbs out on the other side, chuckling at my obvious discomfort in a way that makes me want to throttle him and also heightens all my senses. That must be why it’s at that moment I notice the car.
“Hey, did you get a new car?”
He looks at me, confused. “What do you mean?”
“This is a blue Range Rover. Your car used to be black.” What I don’t say is I’ll never forget the black car he was driving the night of the kiss we are no longer discussing. The kiss that makes my cheeks heat every time I think about it.
As always, Asher seems to know exactly what’s going through my mind because he smirks as he rounds the car to stand next to me. “This is a rental. Usually, I drive my own car to Boulder, but I wanted to be able to fly home with you if you wanted company. Getting my car back to Pittsburgh is a pain in the ass, so I rented one I can return in Boulder.”
“You didn’t have to do that. I’ve been flying by myself for years.” What I don’t mention is how much I hate flying, especially by myself. How much I loathe having my schedule entirely at the mercy of flight delays and cancellations, and how hard it is for me to relax since I’m not the one flying the plane, especially when I don’t have anything to distract me.
Asher bends down to zip up my jacket for me. “Yeah, but why should you have to?” Then he tugs a black beanie with the Renegades’ logo on it onto my head and kisses my cheek. Tossing an arm around my shoulders, he steers me through the parking lot.
The casual way he says that surprises me, but I guess at this point it shouldn’t. I don’t understand how he can see me so clearly where people I have known my entire life can’t, but I also can’t lie and say there’s not a part of me that likes it.
As we get to the end of the parking lot, it occurs to me that I never even asked Asher where we were making our first stop. It’s a new experience for me, giving up this kind of control over my day to another person, but at least for today, it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. Looking up, I see a big sign that says Franklin Park Conservatory and Botanical Gardens.
I glance over at Asher walking next to me, his arm still slung over my shoulders. “A botanical garden? That’s a surprising choice.”
“Is it? It’s too cold for all the outside stuff, but inside the conservatory they have different biomes, so we get to see all these different ecosystems, all in one place. We can go to a rainforest, a desert, and the Himalayan mountains, all without leaving Ohio. It’s fucking cool is what it is.”
It does sound cool, but I’ll be damned if I tell him that. “You sound like my mom talking about her plants.”
“She gardens?”
“She’s an interior designer, but every spring she does the gardens at our lake house in Maryland. She’s deadly serious about it, and every year the whole thing gets bigger. My dad offers to hire a gardener at least once a summer, but she refuses. I think I’ve heard her mention this place. She lives for a botanical garden.”
Asher reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. “Go stand by the sign.”
“What?”
“The sign. I’ll take your picture and you can send it to your mom. If she’s anything like my mom, she’ll want to hear from you at least once a day to make sure you’re still alive.”
“Yeah, that sounds about right. But I could just text her without a picture.”
“Come on, Juliette, live a little. Let’s start documenting our trip. We can do a shared album that we can both add pictures to.”
I turn to him. “What makes you think I’ll want pictures of this trip?”
“You will.”
He winks at me and pulls me over to the sign, pushing me next to it and ordering me to smile. Once he snaps the picture, he comes over to me and tosses his arm around my shoulder again, holding the camera out in front of us, but at the last second before he clicks the shutter, he turns his head, kissing me on the cheek.
“That’s going to be my new lock screen picture.”
“There’s no way that’s a good picture! You surprised me. I probably look insane.”
He swipes through the pictures before attaching them to a text message and hitting send. “See for yourself.”
My phone vibrates in my bag, and I pull it out, unlocking the screen and looking though the pictures Asher sent me and…well, shit. The one of us isn’t just a good picture, it’s a fucking great picture. My hair is a little windblown and my cheeks red either from the cold or from Asher pressing his lips to them. But I look happy in a way I’m not used to seeing on myself. Not th at I’m never happy, but my happy always seems to be a little muted by whatever it is that makes me need to plan and schedule and control everything.
As we reach the conservatory, I open my text thread with my mom and attach the picture Asher took just of me. I’m keeping the one of the two of us close to the vest until I figure out a way to explain to all the people in my life what the fuck I’m doing on this road trip.
Me
Proof of life.
Mom
The Franklin Park Conservatory? I’ve always wanted to go there! That football player of yours has good taste in road trip stops.
Also, hi my baby, I’m glad you’re alive, and I’m also very confused about why you are on a road trip with a professional football player. Please advise.
Well, Rachel Parker is nothing if not predictable.
Don’t worry about it, it’s just something I’m doing.
You should know better than that. I’m your mom, and I will worry about you until the end of time. It’s part of the job.
Sorry, I must have forgotten.
Lucky you have me to remind you. Be safe, Jules. Text me every day. And when you get home, we’re having a talk and you are going to tell me everything I want to know.
“Don’t hold your breath,” I mutter.
“What’s that?” Asher asks .
“Nothing, just my mom being my mom.”
He puts his arm back around me. “Let me guess. She’s happy you’re alive, but she’s wondering what the hell you’re doing on a road trip with me?”
“In a nutshell. I haven’t told her, or anyone else, the real reason why I’m here, and there’s nothing Rachel Parker hates more than when she’s out of the loop on something that has to do with her children.” What I don’t say is that my mom is out of the loop on all kinds of things that she doesn’t even know about.
“I think Rachel Parker and Susan Hansley would get along. But let me ask you something.” He drops his arms from my shoulders and turns me to face him.
“How do you feel?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, how do you feel? Right now. Right this minute, standing in this parking lot with me, with work miles away and two weeks of adventure ahead of you. How does that make you feel?”
I think about his question. My immediate reaction is to say that I feel like I should be working, or I wish I was back in my office. But something about the way he asks the question makes me want to give it serious consideration. So, I think about the last week. The mistake and the panic attack and how Asher brought me out of it. How he made me come on this trip instead of taking what would probably have been the easier path and calling my brother because I asked him not to. Asher getting me my favorite snacks and planning an entire road trip itinerary and asking nothing of me but that I show up.
I look at him then, his face wide open, waiting patiently for me to respond to his question. My answer hits me then, and it doesn’t even occur to me to hold it in.
“Relieved. I feel relieved.”
I let out a whoosh of breath at what is possibly that most honest thing I have ever said, and it’s not lost on me that Asher is the one I said it to.
He just smiles at me and nods, “Then that’s all that matters.”
Then he slides his arm around my waist, pulling me close.
“Come on, Juliette. Let’s go see some ecosystems.”