Chapter 12
Nas
“Dad, dad, wake up,” Nyla’s little voice filled my ears. “I’m hungry.”
“Hungry?” I yawned as my eyes fluttered open. “What you wanna eat?”
“Pancakes!”
“Let’s do it!”
She jumped on my back before I stood to my feet. I took her into her bathroom to brush her teeth then pulled out an outfit for her. After I dressed her, I went into my room and got myself together.
“Last call for the kitchen express,” I announced as I entered her room. Squatting next to her bed, she jumped on my back. “Next stop Pancake City.”
Making my way towards the kitchen, I thrived in the moments like these that I’m able to spend with Nyla.
Although I haven’t been a father for long, I loved everything about it.
Nyla was so smart, inquisitive and well mannered.
Like I’d expressed to Nessa I couldn’t have asked for a better mother for Nyla than her.
Despite the way she was raised, she gave Nyla the complete opposite.
The way she cared and raised our child only spoke volumes about the woman she’d grown into.
As I moved about the kitchen making our pancakes, I wanted to invite Nessa over but decided against it.
The way she’d claim that nigga to my face fucked with me a little bit.
I heard her all the times she said she had a nigga, but she never came out like that.
There was so much conviction in her tone, and it finally got through to me.
If someone would’ve told me I wouldn't have Nessa as my wife, I would’ve punched the shit out of them.
A life without Nessa wasn’t a life I’d want to live anymore.
Those years away only made me want her more but I couldn’t allow her to put her life on pause for me.
That was one of the hardest decisions I’d ever had to make in my life.
When she cried in front of me that day, I was fucked up for months afterwards.
Every time I try to talk about that situation that wall came up with Nessa.
I could hardly stand myself for the pain I’d caused her, so I could only imagine how she truly felt towards me.
I needed her to tell me how she felt but I needed her to do that on her time.
I’d done enough to her, and to try to force her to reopen that wound before she was ready would be selfish as hell.
Hell, it took me a while to really come to terms with ending it.
To cut ties with my lifeline so she could move one with her life wasn’t something you got over the next day.
So, who was I to rush her to face the one who broke her heart?
All I could do was wait until she’d be ready to have that conversation.
“Dad, can we get in the pool today?” Nyla inquired from her spot at the counter.
“I don’t see why not,” I smiled. “How ‘bout I call and see if Chanel can come over to join us?”
“Yes! Yes! That would be amazing!”
“Ok, I’m goin’ to call Cousin Chance in a minute.”
“Ok, Daddy. I’m all done with breakfast can I go upstairs to play?”
“Yeah, I’ll come get your when they get here.”
We sat by the pool while the girls played in the shallow end with their floaties on.
The sight before me reminded me of my summers as a child.
Mama Eva always made sure she got Chance every weekend, so we’d grown up more like brothers than cousins.
His loyalty towards me ran deep and it showed by the way he’d watched out for Nyla and made sure her and Chanel were as close as we were while I was away.
“Who would’ve ever thought we’d be dads at the same time?” Chance chuckled as he continued to watch the girls.
“It’s crazy ‘cause I was just thinkin’ the same thing,” I admitted. “I’m just pissed I missed her early years.”
“I still feel bad as fuck for keepin’ that shit away from you.
Mama Eva explained how it would hurt her more not to be a part of Nyla’s life than to keep it away from you.
Nessa threatened to move if you ever found out ‘bout Nyla. I couldn’t do Mama Eva like that and when she died, I couldn’t risk ruining their relationship.
Their bond reminded me of ours growing up and I just couldn’t do it. ”
“I feel that cous. And like I said I appreciate you for steppin’ in while I was away. I meant that shit, I can’t fault nobody but myself. I just wish I could’ve watched her grow into the little diva she is today.”
“Wait, didn’t you say Nina brought Mama Eva’s house for you and kept everything as it was?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Well, she started Nyla a photo album along with Chanel. It should still be in her room. It’ll only have the first two years but it’s something.”
“Hell yeah. Matter of fact do you mind watching them while I run over there. I’d love to get my hands on that.”
“I gotcha cous.”
I explained to the girls that I’d be right back on my way out.
Getting into my car, I made my way back to my old stomping grounds.
The ride back to the hood had me reminiscing on my come up.
That pride I felt to be from the hood but made it out and bettered myself.
My hood would forever be a part of me, but I needed to keep my daughter far away from it.
I pulled up to Mama Eva’s house and my heart got heavy.
The first time I’d come here I was too distracted by Nina’s popup that I hadn’t sat with the grief of losing Mama Eva.
She was the only person that I’d felt like give a fuck about a nigga.
My childhood wasn’t perfect growing up but it was filled with so much love.
Walking inside it felt like that love wrapped around me and gave me a hug I didn’t know I needed.
I could feel Mama Eva’s presence as I stood still for a moment.
Once I gathered myself, I made my way towards her room.
Before I got there, I stopped at my old room.
Opening the door, I was shocked by the way it had changed.
There was a pack and play in the corner with a baby blanket hanging over it.
Some clothes were pinned to my wall along with pictures of Nyla.
She was the perfect mixture of me and Nessa.
It was nice to know that Nessa had stayed with Mama Eva when she got pregnant.
I wondered how it got on her threatening to leave the city to her living with Mama Eva.
I grabbed a hold of a rare picture of Nessa pregnant with Nyla off the wall then made my way towards Mama Eva’s room.
It looked exactly how I’d remembered it and smelled like her too.
Making my way over towards her dresser, I looked for the photo album.
I came up empty, so I moved towards her bed.
Pulling the top drawer of her nightstand, I smiled brightly when I album with Nyla’s name on it.
“Look at my baby fresh out,” I chuckled as I sat on the bed flipping through the pictures.
Each picture touched my heart more as I took it all in.
It wasn’t until I came across a picture of Nyla sleeping on Nessa’s chest while she slept that had me stuck.
A single tear slid down my cheek as I admired her in that moment.
“She handled this shit like a fuckin’ pro, man. ”
I’d sat there for about an hour before I headed back home.
This trip brought me some peace to know that Nessa actually had the help of Mama Eva when Nyla was born.
When the bomb was dropped on me about Nyla, I worried about the struggles Nessa endured alone.
It gives me some comfort knowing that she had help out here.
The ride back home had me feeling more at peace than I was when I left.
When I turned on our street, I slowed down when I came up on Nessa’s house.
“Can’t wait to replace that wack ass car of hers,” I spoke aloud as I passed her house.
The jeep was delivered without her seeing it and was tucked away in my garage.
I couldn’t wait to give it to her, but right now doesn’t seem like the right time.
If she wanted to work shit out with her nigga, I gotta be the bigger man and move out the way.
The shit gonna kill me but I refused to cause her anymore pain.
No matter how much I loved her, I couldn’t force myself on her.
“Where the girls?” I questioned Chance as I noticed him sitting on the couch.
“Havin’ a tea party,” he informed. “I’m just glad I wasn’t forced to join.”
“You ain’t never lied. Being a girl dad is not for the weak.”
“At the fuck all. Did you find it?”
“Yeah, I did. That shit was beautiful to see. Thanks.”
“No problem, bruh. Glad I could help.”
Before we could continue with our conversation my phone started ringing. Removing it from my back pocket, I noticed it was an unknown caller. Something told me to put the phone on speaker as I answered it.
“Yo,” I called out.
“Do you have my money?” Juan’s voice broke through the quiet after what felt like a pregnant pause.
“My time isn’t even up.”
“That’s not what the fuck I asked. Do you have my money?”
“Yeah.”
“Find a way to get here tomorrow.”
“Ok.”
The next day we were on our way to Puerto Rico with no problem, but that was with the help of Nina.
She was damn good at being two steps ahead of Juan.
Before I could stress over getting to Puerto Rico, Fernando came in with a bag full of the rest of the money while explaining what was about to happen.
When we touched down this time, we were escorted back to the huge ranch property.
Me and Chance stood at the bottom of the steps waiting to see what happened next.
After a brief moment, the doors of the property opened and out walked Juan, Nina and some old-looking dude that favored my dad.
I kept my cool as I waited to see what the fuck was going on.
Although I didn’t have much of a relationship with Nina if anything were to happen to her, those two niggas were getting put the fuck down.
That thought didn’t change even when security guards followed out behind them.
I needed them to get this train rolling with what was to become because my patience was wearing thin and anxiety was steady rising.
“Check them for weapons,” Juan instructed his men. As they removed our weapons, I noticed the old guy whispered in Nina’s ear. “Now that we got the pleasantries out the way, let’s get down to business. My money?”
I moved up the steps to drop the bag at his feet before stepping back down.
He didn’t even check the bag before instructing his man to take it away.
Since clearly the focus wasn’t the money today, I shifted my energy to trying to figure out what the focus was.
Juan walked over towards Nina, and I noticed he didn’t favor his dad.
As they talked amongst themselves, I figured he favored his mom.
Once they were done talking, Nina and the old guy stepped forward.
“You’re provin’ Nina right, but I can’t remember a time where she was wrong,” he expressed.
“Aww, Rafi, flattery doesn’t get you out of our bet,” Nina smirked. “I told you he’d not only move the weight but be as discreet as possible.”
“That you did. The way he handles business reminds me ofone of my best workers,” he informed as he looked up in the sky then down back at me. “Juan here claims that you were movin’ the most weight behind bars, is that true?”
“Yeah,” I answered as I looked between the two of them.
“And you have no real family?”
“Aside from my cousin that’s standin’ next to me and my child that I’m sure Juan has told you ‘bout but no other real family. Never fucked with my family and my grandma been dead for years.”
“He didn’t mention that but thanks for being honest. That’s real in this line of business. Is that something I can continue to expect from you?”
“Yeah, but will it be a two-way street?”
“Outspoken. That could get you killed along with anybody you care ‘bout better watch that. Understood?”
“Yep,” I huffed as I bit the inside of my mouth to prevent what I really wanted to say to slip out.
“Good. Now that y’all have proved that you can handle weight I’d like to challenge you in a way. Now that you’re on my radar I wanna see if you could move double, is that a problem?”
“Nawl.”
“Wonderful! My driver will take you both back towards the docks along with the product. Unlike Juan I’m reasonable on the deadline. You’ll have four months to move the work. Good luck boys and welcome to the big leagues.”
A car pulled up behind us as they disappeared into the home.
I was glad to be away from them because I had thought of multiple scenarios to fuck his old ass up.
That was the second threat on my daughter, and she trumped both of them Hispanic niggas.
Once they were out of my sight, I was able to process what the hell had happened.
As we drove to the docks, I racked my brain on how to move this product.
Our system was fool proof, so that along with our low product would continue to set us apart.
After we were safely inside the shipping container, I was able to freely talk to Chance.
“Can’t believe we’re back on another fuckin’ boat,” I cursed as I pulled the flashlight out of backpack.
“Yeah, let me tell Nessa to grab Chanel before we lose service,” Chance expressed. “Clearly I’ma have to prep her for that every time we gotta go to Puerto Rico.”
“You think I knew that shit was gonna happen? Hell, you seen how fucked up I was on this bitch last time, I don’t wanna do this either.”
“I know, I know. Shit I didn’t know they knew ‘bout Nyla. Do you think they know ‘bout Chanel? Should I be worried?”
“I don’t cous, but I know who we can ask. The same muthafucka that told them ‘bout Nyla. When I get back to Florida I’ll be more in a position to get some fuckin’ answers.”
“Bet. Now how we gonna move all this weight?”
“We’ll that’s cause for expansion, my boy. Time for us to tap into our old hustlin’ ways. We gotta spread the wealth and expand our reach.”
“Pushin’ work outside of down south that could ruffle some feathers.”
“Not when you have connections to tap into. The biggest meltin’ pot is a prison and a prison drug system had folks outside those walls. We just gotta get word to the prisoners than the people will come find us.”
“I like the way you fuckin’ think! We ‘bout to be swimmin’ in money.”