Chapter Twenty-five
The smell of pine floor cleaner was strong in the hall of The Church. She made a mental note to remind the guys that the cleaner was concentrated and needed to be diluted. It was almost nauseatingly strong.
She tapped her fingers on the huge, ancient copier, fax, and printer combo machine that was currently taking forever to print.
After a few more seconds, it finally spit out the certificate.
She popped it into a folder and handed it over to Lower Sparrow’s house adviser.
“Here you go. Let me know how Reed’s coin out goes. I think he did a great job.”
“Will do, Ms. Reese.”
He turned to leave out the back door, but Reese grabbed his arm. “Wait, almost forgot the coin. Don’t lose it, please.”
“I won’t. I’ll see you in the morning.”
She waved him out the back door. She hated that she didn’t get to attend coin outs, but understood.
The meeting was a sacred space with just the clients when someone was graduating from the program.
Each received a certificate and a coin showing they had completed the program.
Each man would go around saying something about the graduate, and he would be presented with the coin and certificate.
It was a beautiful bonding moment, something to encourage not only the one leaving but the ones still there.
It was almost time to leave, and all her work was complete, so she wandered into Kerrie’s office.
“Hey,” she said, not bothering to knock.
Kerrie continued to type away at her computer, not bothering to look up. “Hey.”
Instead of sitting down, Reese walked over to the window to look out. There were men smoking outside Sparrow, a few throwing an old football around. It was the end of the day, so they were enjoying the downtime before dinner and then the nightly meeting.
“Watching for your girlfriend?”
Reese flushed. “We’re not officially dating yet. At least, I don’t think we are.”
Kerrie snorted. “I remember that phase. I was so nervous to ask. I was practically sweating. When are you going to ask her?”
“Ask her what?”
“Ask her out. Like, hey Matty, want to be my girlfriend?”
Reese looked mortified. “I can’t ask her that.”
“You can have sex, but you can’t ask her out?” Kerrie raised an eyebrow at her.
She crossed her arms. “You don’t know for sure if we slept together.”
“Uh-huh. I’ve been friends with Matty for a while now, and not once has she made me breakfast in her underwear. Bette told me what she saw.”
“You know, I think y’all need to get out of that house more.”
“And I think you’re changing the subject.”
She sighed. “What if she says no?”
“Oh, come on, we both know she’s going to say yes. It’s just nerves getting to you.”
“What if she wants to ask me out?” She glanced out the window again and spotted Matty trudging up the hill. “Here she comes.”
“She might, but then again, she might be waiting on you to make the move. Either way, the goal is to get a girlfriend out of it, right?”
“Yeah, I suppose.”
“You suppose?” Kerrie lifted an eyebrow at her.
“Yes, okay? It is the whole point. I’m just nervous. I haven’t had a girlfriend in years, and I wasn’t in the best place to have one back then. This is like starting all over again.”
“I’m sure—”
“Shh!” Reese hissed when she heard the back door open.
Kerrie rolled her eyes but smiled as she shook her head.
“Hey,” Matty greeted as she walked in.
“Hi,” Reese returned with a big smile, then frowned as she looked Matty over. “What in the world happened to you?”
Matty had black stains all over her from a smudge on her jaw to her T-shirt and down her jeans. Matty looked down at herself shyly. “Uh, yeah, one of the work trucks went down. I guess I didn’t pay a lot of attention to the grease.”
“Yeah, looks like it.”
She tugged on the strap of the backpack slung over her shoulder. “Good thing I thought to pack a change of clothes. Do you mind if I shower at your place?”
Kerrie let out a short laugh.
“Hush,” warned Reese before answering Matty. “You’re more than welcome to.”
They chatted a bit more, killing time until 5:00 when they could clock out. Reese had kept a towel in the back of her car in case she needed to drive a dirty Matty home. The last thing she wanted to do was try to get grease out of her seat cushions.
“What time are they supposed to be here?” Matty asked as they were entering the house.
“Anytime. I hope they don’t take too long. I’m starving.” She walked up the stairs to her bedroom with Matty following.
“Do you know where you want to eat dinner at?”
Reese shrugged as they walked into her room. She tossed her purse on the bed. “Not really. How about you?”
“Same. Maybe Mexican? I wouldn’t mind some fajitas.”
“That sounds good.”
“I’m going to hop in the shower really quick. It won’t take me long.”
“Okay, let me grab you a towel.”
“And a washrag if you have one?”
“Yep.”
Matty and her backpack headed to the bathroom while Reese went to the hall closet.
The whole thing was crammed full of towels, washcloths, and bedding.
It was in desperate need of going through, but it would have to wait until the more important tasks were completed.
Until then, she would keep shoving things in and hoping it didn’t explode.
With the towel and washcloth in hand, she went to the bathroom and stopped abruptly at the sight before her.
Matty had shed her T-shirt and jeans into a pile on the floor. Reese’s mouth watered at her exposed body, just clad in a sports bra, boxer briefs, and white socks. Her eyes lingered longer than necessary.
Matty raised an eyebrow at her as a playful smile tugged at her lips.
Before she realized it, Reese was depositing the towel on the counter and going to encircle her waist.
“You probably don’t want to touch me. I’m covered in dirt and dried sweat,” Matty said softly.
“Nonsense,” she chided, pressing against her.
She pulled her into a kiss, tasting a hint of salty sweat as she ran her tongue over Matty’s bottom lip. They hadn’t gotten to kiss since Sunday. Neither thought it was appropriate for work, but now, in the safety of Reese’s home, they could finally have a moment together.
Matty’s hands quickly gripped her tightly, causing Reese to deepen the kiss. They made out for a few minutes before coming up for air.
“I wish the delivery guy wasn’t on the way; otherwise, I’d ask you to join me,” Matty panted, pointing at the shower.
A jolt of pleasure struck between Reese’s legs at the thought. She’d never showered with anyone before. Disappointment followed. “Me too. Maybe next time?”
“Definitely. Well, I guess I should hop in.”
“Yeah.”
She left her to it, pulling the door shut behind her. After changing out of her work clothes, she decided to go downstairs to wait.
The kitchen was in pretty good shape considering what it was like before.
The cabinets had cleaned up surprisingly well.
A little elbow grease and cleaner had gone a long way on the light oak cabinets.
Years of neglect and wear had caused them to darken; the handles were covered in grime, but now they were practically back in shape.
Replacing the handles had made it even better.
She had been up late last night working on them.
There were still signs of the harsh years of mistreatment, like the areas of chipped linoleum and a burned stain on the backsplash above the stove. She still wasn’t sure what would have caused it, but for the most part, it was a fully functioning space.
And she couldn’t wait to use it. She had been shocked to find the stove worked.
The oven had needed the heating element replaced, but one order from and Matty had it fixed in no time.
Tonight, she would be bringing groceries into the space.
She would bring everything down from upstairs and fill the cabinets and the new refrigerator.
It would be a huge step in reclaiming the home.
She decided to wipe the cabinets out again just to make sure they were really clean. With the aid of a stepstool, she began working on the top ones. She had to kneel on the counter to reach the top one. The height and limited kneeling space made her uncomfortable.
Matty’s footsteps trotting down the stairs made her pause, and then she resumed.
“Babe, be careful up there,” urged Matty when she entered the kitchen. Her hair was still wet.
“I am. I just need to clean out this other side.” She began to scoot over to the other one on wobbly knees when hands found their way to her thighs. She had changed into shorts and a T-shirt.
Matty’s hands were strong and secure and creeping higher up by the second. “I’ll spot you.”
“You just want to grope me,” Reese giggled.
“That too.” The warm press of lips against her outer thigh made her already wobbly knees even more so.
“You can’t be doing that if you want me to stay steady,” she gasped.
“I got you.”
She rolled her eyes at the response but smiled as she finished the last top shelf.
As she was climbing down, which Matty insisted on helping with, there was a loud knock on the door. “Perfect timing.”
One large man and one scrawny man, neither very talkative, worked rather efficiently to bring in her new fancy refrigerator. Well, fancy for her. She hadn’t had an ice maker in years. The sheer amount of excitement she got from just having one was peak adulthood happiness.
When they pulled out the old refrigerator, she had very quickly swept the debris that had been behind it. Dirt, paper, and a few caps from Coke and vodka bottles littered the floor.
The men weren’t there for very long. They unloaded the new one and hooked it up. She was very happy that the waterline still worked. It would have ruined the fun of the moment to find out there was a setback, though she had no doubt Matty could have fixed it. The woman was great at her job.
Once they left, she all but skipped back to the kitchen to check out her new, shiny, really expensive appliance. She opened the doors, pulled on the empty drawers, and was grinning widely when she turned to show Matty but stopped short as the feeling of horror grabbed her.
“Reese, what is this?” asked Matty, a concerned look on her face.
In her hands was a familiar sight. Another one of Joyce’s notes.
Her face flamed as she looked away. “It’s, uh, it’s a note from my mother.
She tucked them all over the hoard. I have a box of them upstairs.
” She mentally kicked herself for adding the last part.
Matty didn’t need to know there had been enough for a box or that she was still keeping them instead of throwing them away.
“Babe, this is awful. Like, it’s so awful. The names she’s calling you.”
She shrugged one shoulder, running her fingers over the handle of the refrigerator. “It’s not a big deal. It was her way of getting back at me for going no contact. I guess she had to have the last word even after death.”
Frustration brimmed under the surface along with tears in her eyes. She didn’t want to cry. It was embarrassing, and they were having such a nice afternoon.
She could see Matty’s form moving in her peripheral vision. Reese resisted the hands that tugged on her but then gave in. Walling off Matty would be the exact opposite of what they needed. She wanted to be vulnerable with Matty, even if it went against her instincts.
With some self-encouragement, she allowed herself to sink into Matty’s strong arms and bury her face in the hollow of Matty’s neck.
“You are a good person. You don’t deserve that kind of treatment. It speaks more about her than you. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this.”
Matty’s kind words and the way she nuzzled her face against the top of Reese’s head made Reese’s resolve crumble.
She didn’t sob or cry out, but tears streamed down her face, wetting Matty’s neck.
Her chest was heavy, and her face was getting stuffy.
She hated crying. The act made her mad. It felt like a useless process, but she knew that was wrong.
Getting emotions out was important, but she hated how weak it made her feel.
“I hate crying,” she sniffled.
“Crying is good for you. Holding in your emotions isn’t healthy. It’s important to release them so you can process them instead of bottling them up.”
“Now who’s the counselor?” she joked lightly, wiping at her eyes. She pulled back but stayed in the embrace.
“I’ve picked up a thing or two here and there. Seriously, though, crying doesn’t make you weak. In fact, I think it’s a privilege that you’re letting me see you like this. I know it’s got to be hard.”
“It is, but I don’t want to shut you out.
I feel like I’m actually doing this whole thing correctly for the first time.
We’re not rushing, but we’re not dragging our feet.
We’re trying to uplift and support each other.
I like this. I just need to remember that it’s okay to be open.
I’ve kept people at length for so long now. It’s almost weird.”
“Yeah, it is. I’m glad we’re doing this, though.”
“Me too.”
Matty let go of her with one arm to hold the note up. “So, what do we do with this?”
“We’ll add it to the box.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Not ready to trash them yet?”
“No, not just yet.”
“Okay, we’ll add this piece of shit to the box, then go have dinner. Cheese dip will cheer you up. It cheers everyone up. Well, except lactose-intolerant people.”
Reese shook her head, laughing. “You’re silly. Yeah, cheese dip helps, and even more so because I’ll be having it with you.”
“God, we’re sappy,” Matty grinned. She leaned in, giving Reese a long kiss. “But I’m here for it.”
“Me too.”
And she meant it. She really did, even if it was scary.