20. Chapter 20
Chapter 20
Jon
As soon as I get home, Robert hands me Sharon's note and says, "She said she was leaving."
"Okay," I say. "I'll walk over there after I shower. Maybe she'll be back by then."
"I don't think she meant she was leaving to run errands," he says. "I think she was leaving for good."
"No," I say. "She'll be here for a couple of years."
I walk into the house before reading the note.
Dear Jon,
You don't have to move.
I hope you're able to forgive me someday.
Goodbye,
Sharon
I pick up the phone and call her, but there's no answer. I head over to the house, noticing her car is missing, but I knock on the back door anyway. As I step off the porch a minute later, I spot Patrick and Cara pulling up in Sharon's car.
"Where's Sharon?" I ask.
"We just dropped her off at the airport," Patrick says, getting out of the car and walking around to help Cara out of the passenger side.
"What?!"
"Yeah," he says, glancing at his watch. "She's probably boarding her flight right now."
"Where is she going?"
"She's going back to California."
"What do you mean she's going back to California?" I feel the ground crumble underneath my feet. "What about the house?"
"She sold it," Cara says. "You're looking at your new neighbors."
"She can't sell the house."
"It turns out she can," Patrick says. "We signed the papers yesterday."
"What about the car?"
"Get this," Patrick begins, "When I asked her where I should leave her car, she said the car came with the house and handed me the pink slip."
"Wow," I say with little enthusiasm. "Congratulations. I'm so happy for you. I really mean it."
"I can tell you're happy for us," Patrick says, "but I can tell you're not happy she's gone."
"You're right. I'm sorry. It's just that I'm shocked she left."
"Why don't you come inside?” he says. "Sharon left something for you."
"What is it?" I ask.
"I have no idea."
I see the letter on the table and recognize Loren's handwriting right away. It's the letter she wrote to Sharon.
Dear Sharon,
You lost your first love, but you found it again with Jon.
What you felt for him didn't go away with time.
I watched you fall in love with him more and more with each passing year.
Your eyes would light up every time I mentioned him, and you looked forward to his calls as much as I did.
Jon loves you. You both have to decide if your love is stronger than your hurt and past mistakes.
Don't let pride and unforgiveness keep you from your happily ever after.
I watched first-hand the agony Jon endured trying to come to terms with Jimmy's death and his role in what happened.
No one could ever blame him more than he blames himself.
He's a good man, worthy of your love.
But if you can't let this go, you must let him go.
You have my blessing to sell this house and return to California.
The house is yours with no strings attached. You can put it on the market tomorrow if you'd like.
But first, apologize to Jon. You owe him that much.
I love you, Honey.
Loren
***
I walk back to the house in a daze, reading the letter several times. As soon as I walk in the door, I pick up the phone to call my parents.
"I messed up, Dad."
"Yes, you did, Son. You absolutely did."
"Thanks for helping me feel better."
"Well, I’m not going to sugarcoat it, Jon." The way he uses my name makes it clear he's not happy with me.
"I know, Dad."
"I guess this means you're not coming to Japan." Mom's voice in the background is loud enough for me to hear.
"God brought her to your doorstep," Dad continues, "and you let her go."
"I don't have any excuse."
"Well, at least you can admit it. What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to California to beg her to forgive me."
"That's the most sensible thing you've said in years."
"Wow, Dad, you're not holding back, are you?"
"I want you to be happy."
"I hope she forgives me."
"But have you forgiven her? Don't disrupt her life again if you're not willing to forget the past."
"It's already forgotten. I love her, Dad."
"Then go find her, Son."
"Is Noah still awake? If so, put him on."
***
When I knock on Sharon's door a week later, I feel like I'm reliving the day I came by and Rick wouldn't let me see her. I'm nervous, excited, and afraid she'll turn me away.
When the door opens, I'm greeted by a pretty, very pregnant woman in her early twenties with short auburn hair and crystal blue eyes. "Hi," she says. "Can I help you?"
"I'm looking for Sharon. Does she still live here?"
"Don't tell me," she says, raising an eyebrow. "You must be Jon?"
"I am."
"You're a jerk, you know that?"
"I deserve that," I say.
"I'm not your biggest fan," she says, glaring at me.
"Fair enough."
"Let me go get her."
I wait five minutes, then ten. When she finally steps out of one of the bedrooms and walks down the hallway, her beauty takes my breath away. Her hair is damp from a shower, and long ringlets frame her face. She's wearing cotton shorts and a gray T-shirt with I Practice Prudence printed on the front.
"What are you doing here?" she asks, surprised to see me.
"I came to beg you for forgiveness."
"You flew across the country to ask me for something I already gave you?" Her eyes are glistening with unshed tears.
"I'm not talking about Jimmy. I'm talking about my bad attitude while you were in Garrison."
"I'm listening."
"I am sorry. My behavior is inexcusable. I wish we could just start over."
"We can."
"Pardon me?"
"We can start over."
"Really?" I ask, feeling like the luckiest man on the planet.
"Yes, really," her shy smile is enough to make my heart soar with happiness.
"Can I touch you?" After four years, I feel the need to ask her for permission.
"Yes."
I reach for her hand and bring it to my lips. "I'm so, so sorry. I've been such an idiot."
"I'm sorry too," she says. "I missed you so much."
"I miss you, Sharon. My life is not complete without you."
I take a step closer until we're only inches apart. All the anger, resentment, pride, hurt, and doubts of the past four years melt away when I wrap my arms around her and pull her close. She throws her arms around me. I hold her tight against me, inhaling the scent of her shampoo and feeling the warmth of her body next to mine.
I pull away just enough to look into her eyes and trace her lips with my thumb. Her gaze never leaves mine.
"What are you waiting for?" a voice comes from down the hall. "Kiss her!"
"That's my best friend, Betty."
"Betty doesn't like me," I smile, shaking my head.
"I like you."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive," her smile--God, her smile is all I need to know all is forgiven.
"Can I kiss you?"
"Like Betty said, what are you waiting for?"
***
Sharon and I go to my parents' house, where we talk for several hours. We discuss the last four years, telling each other everything down to the last detail.
We're sitting close together on the couch, holding hands, and Sharon has her head on my shoulder. If I died now, I'd die a happy man.
"I love you, Sharon."
"I love you too," she says, tilting her head so she can look at me.
"Do you think you can love me the same way you loved Jimmy?"
"You don't want me to love you the way I loved him," her gaze is so sincere I can feel it in my soul. "Just like I don't want you to love me the way you loved Susan."
"I was never in love with Susan. I never understood that until I met you."
"When I'm with you," she continues, "I feel like I can climb to the peak of the tallest mountain and stand on the edge without any fear of stumbling. And you know how much I hate heights. As my first love and the love I lost forever, Jimmy will always have a special place in my heart."
"I appreciate your honesty, but where does that leave me?"
She sits up so she can face me.
"Meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I thought I had lost you, too, but here you are, and you love me as much as I love you."
I kiss her and feel her melt into my arms—without reserve, without doubt. When I deepen the kiss, she responds, surrendering herself completely. Her soft body fits so perfectly in my arms.
"Sharon," I whisper, dusting her face with light kisses.
"Hmm?"
"I haven't been with anyone since the day I met you."
"What about Susan?" her eyes are clear and devoid of judgment.
"My heart belongs to you, so no, I never slept with her again."
"I haven't been with anyone either?"
"Not since Jimmy."
"Not ever."
Feeling guilty, I can't help but search her face for a hint of deception, but the only thing I find in her green gaze is guileless innocence.
***
I make the trip back to California a couple of times during the month to see Sharon, quickly realizing this arrangement will not work long term. Once school begins in September, I won't be able just to pick up and go.
"What am I going to do once school is back in session?"
Dad wastes no time in responding. "That's easy, Son. Ask her to marry you."
"You have our blessing," Mom quickly adds. "The key to the safety deposit box is in the safe. Go to the bank and get your grandmother's engagement ring. The Linder men have been proposing with that ring for four generations. It's your turn."
"Thank you. I honestly don't know how I could've made it through the last five years without you two."
"We love you, Son."
"I love you too."
We spend the next half hour discussing different ways I could propose, and before I hang up, I talk to Noah.