24. Chapter 24
It’ll be a month since I’ve seen Loren. Holly and I started going to church with Mom and Dad a few weeks ago, and tomorrow, I leave for a week-long trip to Boston. I miss her.
“You’re avoiding her,” Katherine says before pouring me another cup of coffee.
“Can you blame me?” I ask, giving her a weak smile.
I take a sip of coffee and glance at Adam, hoping for a sign to show me he understands and he’s on my side, but he’s completely engrossed in baby talk with Jon. I can tell that at the moment, Adam’s only goal in life is to make his son smile.
“Will you be here for Thanksgiving?” she asks.
“No. Holly, my parents, and I are flying to California for the holidays.”
“What about Christmas?” asks Adam, finally tuning in to our conversation.
“We have a lot more family there than we do here,” I say. “Mom and Dad agreed to join us so we can all be together. It’ll be good for Holly. She misses her grandparents there and all her cousins.”
“And what are we, chopped liver?” asks Adam in baby gibberish while looking down at Jon.
I can’t help but laugh out loud.
“You have the Linders,” I say.” Your wife and your kids.”
“I also want my brother,” he replies, “And my niece and my foster parents here for the holidays.”
“You can’t be greedy, Babe.” Katherine says,” You can’t have it all.”
“Of course, I can,” he says, “I do have it all.” He looks over at Katherine, and in an instant, something unspoken passes between them. I recognize it because I’ve experienced it; true, unconditional love.
“Should Jon and I leave the room?” I ask in a teasing tone.
Adam hands a cooing Jon over to me and walks up to Katherine. Wrapping his arms around her, he dips her low and gives her a long kiss.
Putting one hand over Jon’s eyes, I say, “Close your eyes, Jon. It’ll be over soon.”
I shut my eyes, and when I open one a couple of seconds later, Katherine and Adam are looking at me.
“You know,” Katherine begins. “You could just go find Loren, and do some dipping of your own, if you know what I mean.”
“That’s not funny,” I say, wondering if she knows.
As if reading my mind, she says, “Yeah, I know. She told me. Actually, she told us.”
I glance over at Adam, who puts both hands up.
“Not me,” he says.
“Who’s we, exactly?” I ask Katherine, not really sure I want to know.
“Remember the last time Holly spent the night?” she begins, “The next day was Sunday. We all met for lunch at Mom and Dad’s afterward. We barbequed and watched the football game.”
I nod as I put Jon over my shoulder and start bouncing him and patting him on the back.
“Well, the men watched the game. We sat in the kitchen and talked,” she continues.
“Again, who’s we?” I ask, bracing myself for the answer.
“Just the four of us. Mom, Loren, Laila, and me.”
“If your mom knows,” I say, “then your father knows.”
Katherine smiles and raises her eyebrows before walking over and taking Jon from my arms.
“You’ve got the magic touch,” she says when she sees that Jon is fast asleep.
Just then, the front door opens, and Holly, Tori, and Laila walk in.
“Daddy, I’m almost ready to ride my bike without my training wheels,” Holly says excitedly.
“That’s great, Princess,” I say. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Well, hello,” Laila says, pulling up a chair beside me.
I feel like a tiny mouse about to be cornered by a large cat. A lion. No, a Siberian tiger.
“Hi, Laila, how are you doing?” I ask, hoping she’ll show me mercy.
“I’m doing great,” she says without even a hint of a smile, “Thank you for asking.”
I take a deep breath, and before I can ask her how Eric is doing, she continues, “So, Mr. Baldwin, what exactly are your intentions with my sister?”
I look over at Holly, but she and Tori are heading for the stairs, deep in conversation about their next trip to the park.
I clear my throat and look at Adam, hoping he’ll lend me some brotherly support. He’s leaning against the counter with his arms tightly folded across his chest and a scowl on his face.
I’m still wearing the dress shirt and tie I wore to the office. I pull on my collar a bit, trying to inhale the oxygen that appears to have left the room.
I look at Katherine, hoping she’ll throw me a lifeline, but she’s just looking at me, her eyes expressing a message I can’t quite read.
It quickly dawns on me that I’m being ambushed.
In the next moment, when I feel a bead of sweat forming on my brow, the whole room erupts with laughter.
Katherine is trying with all her might to control her laugh so she won’t wake up a sleeping Jon. Adam is laughing so hard that he’s turning red and wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. Laila is holding her stomach and throwing her head back with laughter alternating between breathless giggles and loud snorting.
I’m in disbelief. I take turns looking at each of them, trying to figure out what the heck is happening right now. It finally dawns on me. I’ve been punked. I start laughing too, and soon, we’re all laughing so hard, we’re crying.
An hour later, when we’re getting ready to leave, I help Holly with her coat.
“Before you leave,” Adam begins, “can you help me put those boxes in my trunk?” He’s pointing at a couple of boxes sitting by the door.
“What are they?” I ask.
“Donation boxes I have to take to the church thrift store,” says Adam.
When we carry the boxes out to the car, Adam trips over a sprinkler head and drops the box he’s carrying. When it lands on the ground, a flap springs open, revealing the contents inside.
I recognize the white silk camisole immediately. When he bends over to close the box, he has to open it wide in order to close it shut again, arranging the flaps one over the other until they’re secure.
Everything inside the box was silk. Loren is donating all her nightgowns, pajamas, robes, camisoles, everything.
I see pink, white, blue, green. No red or black, though. The woman is modest, even when she sleeps.
I divert my gaze before Adam has a chance to catch me looking.
“So you leave for Boston tomorrow?” he asks.
“Yes. Holly and my parents will join me on Friday so we can spend the weekend together. Listen, I’ve been thinking. With all the business that’s opened up in the area, how would you feel about me moving to Boston for a couple of years?”
“You mean, move, move?” Surprise registers on his face.
“My parents are retired. They can live anywhere. They can stay with me, and Holly can start Kindergarten there in the fall.”
“I hadn’t considered that, to be honest with you,” he says. “I don’t know how I feel about our family splitting up again.”
I nod but don’t say anything.
“What about Loren?” he asks.
“What about Loren?” I ask in response. “She will never move forward with her life. I can’t compete with a ghost.”
I sound like a broken record.
“She’s going to Greece with Coach and Sharon in January,” he says.
“I know. Maybe she’ll be able to leave Justin’s ghost there for good.” My words sound cold even to me.
“Ok, well,” he says,” We can talk more about your plan to move when you get back. Have a safe trip.”
I take Holly to my parents and spend a couple of hours watching a movie with her before I leave.
The nights have been close to freezing lately, so I’ve been parking the car in the garage for a couple of weeks. When I drive to the house, I can tell Loren is home, and her car is also in the garage.
I go in the house and try to talk myself into minding my own business, every fiber of my being warning me to stay away. We’ve been avoiding each other for weeks.
After taking a long, cold shower, I do some work on my laptop and try to get ready for bed early, hoping I can talk myself into not going over there to see her one last time before I leave.
I can’t believe she donated everything. I lie in bed, wondering what she’s wearing tonight. I decide to find out.
I walk out the door and realize I should’ve grabbed my jacket, but it’s too late to turn back now. I ring the doorbell and put my hands in my pockets.
When she opens the door, I take immediate inventory of what she’s wearing. Flannel. Pink and white striped pajamas. Long-sleeved top with a notched collar, matching pants, and a thick robe. White socks and fluffy pink slippers.
“Hi,” she says.
“Hi,” I say. “Can I come in?”
“Yes, of course, come in. It’s freezing out there.”
God, she’s beautiful.
We stand in silence for a few seconds. Her eyes are big and greener than I remember.
She gives me a slight smile. She must be waiting for me to fill her in on the reason for my unexpected visit.
Her skin is flawless. I want to touch her beautiful face.
We stand just inside the threshold, looking into each other’s eyes. I don’t even know what I’m doing here.
“What is it?” she asks, “Aaron?”
“I’m going to Boston tomorrow.” I say, “I’ll be gone for ten days. I just had to see you before I go.”
“I don’t know what to say,” she begins, “I hope you have a safe trip.”
Looking deep into her eyes, I want more.
“Tell me you’ll miss me. Tell me you’ve missed me this past month. Say something. Anything.”
Instead of saying a word, she reaches for those damn rings around her neck and clutches them like they’re her source of breath. I feel sick to my stomach.
“Good night, Loren,” I say before opening the door and walking out.
The chill I feel walking back home has nothing to do with the weather and everything to do with Loren’s cold demeanor. I don’t know what I was expecting, but this wasn’t it.