31. Chapter 31
When my parents and I left for our trip to Greece, Aaron and Holly were still in California. I haven’t seen them in over a month.
After I get out of the shower, I slip into my bathrobe and stare at my reflection in the mirror. I glance at the necklace I’ve been wearing for the past four years. I reach up and carefully take it off. I feel an overwhelming sense of conflicting emotions -- guilt and freedom. Today, I decided to let freedom win.
I walk into my bedroom and pull a small jewelry box from my top dresser drawer. The box that once contained the rings now nestled in the palm of my hand.
I clearly remember the day Katherine and I picked them up from the jewelers.
“Aren’t they beautiful?” I said, opening the box at least a dozen times to admire them during the five-minute ride back home.
“Yes, they’re perfect,” Katherine said.
When I could no longer resist the temptation, I pulled the small one out of the box and put it on my wedding finger, right next to my engagement ring. They looked even more beautiful together.
My sister sat next to me, smiling. “You look so happy,” she said. “You’re going to be Mrs. Justin Clay in eight short days.”
“It can’t come soon enough,” I said.
“It’s hard to believe that you and Justin have been in love for so long,” she said.
“This from the woman who waited fourteen years for her prince charming to return.” I countered.
“Good point,” she said, smiling from ear to ear.
I took the wedding band off my finger and read the inscription aloud, “Justin Loren - I’ve Loved You Forever.” Then, I carefully placed it back in the box next to Justin’s.
When I opened the box again a week later, Justin was gone. I could hardly see the rings through my tears as I slipped them onto the chain one by one, believing I would wear them next to my heart forever.
I gently drop the rings still attached to the chain into the empty jewelry box and close it shut.
When Laura opens the door, I can smell the wonderful aroma of garlic, tomato, and brown sugar.
“Hmm, what’s for dinner?” I ask.
“Charles made his famous meatloaf,” Laura says. ”I made roasted garlic potatoes.”
“I made a blueberry and goat cheese pie,” I say. “I hope it’s as good as yours.”
During dinner, we talk about my trip.
“When did you get back?” asks Laura.
“Late last night,” I say.
“So where exactly did you go?” asks Charles.
“We went to Athens first. We were there for a week, which wasn’t enough time to take in all the sights. But I knew I wanted to go to Milos.”
“That’s where you were going on your honeymoon,” says Laura.
“Yes,” I say. “I thought it was important for me to go and do everything Justin and I had planned to do together. I felt such a sense of peace.”
“We’re glad you were able to find some healing on this trip,” says Laura, with Charles nodding in agreement.
“I brought the rings. I’d like you to keep them,” I say, taking the box out of my purse.
“Yes, of course,” she says, “You can leave them in his room.”
Walking into Justin’s room for what will be the very last time feels surreal. Everything is the same as the hundreds of times I’ve been here. The pictures on the wall. The framed photos on the nightstand. I walk up to the closet and lightly touch some of his clothes, but this time, I don’t pull anything out.
I remember asking Justin why he left so many of his belongings back home, even after moving into our new house.
“For my parents,” he said. ”I’m their only kid, and they’re going to miss me.”
A wave of sadness sweeps over me, but not for me, for the Clays.
I place the jewelry box on top of the dresser, and then I sit on his bed for a quiet moment one more time.
When Laura walks in, she sits beside me and puts her arm around me.
“We want nothing more than for you to find your happiness.”
“I think I have, Laura.”
“Aaron?” she asks.
“Yes,” I say, “Aaron and Holly.”
When we leave the room a few minutes later, I glance back one last time and whisper a goodbye to the sweet boy who loved me forever.
The next morning is Saturday, and I’ve chosen to take the day off. Before I walk out the door, I go into the bathroom again to check my hair and makeup. I’m wearing jeans and a pale yellow knitted sweater with tiny pearls sewn around the neck and shoulders.
I grab my coat and walk across the lawn to Aaron’s front door. It’s almost nine. His car is not in the driveway, but I assume it’s in the garage. I ring the doorbell once, twice.
When the door swings open, I’m surprised to see Lisa.
“Hi, Lisa. Are Aaron and Holly home?”
“No,” she says. “They’re gone.”
“When will they be back?” I ask.
“Loren, they moved to Boston almost a week ago.”
“What? That’s impossible.”
I glance inside, almost wanting to push her aside to look for them myself.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “How could you not know?”
I’m speechless. I don’t believe her, and she knows it.
“I’m not lying to you,” she says. “They planned this move for months.”
How is it that the housekeeper knows more than me, I wonder.
“You can come inside if you want. I just made a pot of coffee. It’s cold out here.”
I walk inside, feeling like I’m in a daze.
“Sit down,” she says, pulling a chair out for me.
“I can’t believe this is happening.”
Lisa opens the cupboard and pulls out two cups. She pours coffee into both and then hands me one of them.
“I’d offer you some creamer, but the fridge is almost empty.”
“This is fine,” I say. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m still coming once every couple of weeks to dust mostly.”
I nod and take a sip of coffee, hoping it’ll warm me up.
“I’ve been on vacation for the past three weeks.”
“I know,” she says. “What I didn’t know was that you didn’t know about the move.”
“No one told me,” I say, feeling like a complete idiot.
I’m furious. How could Adam and Katherine keep this from me?
“Loren, I’m going to tell you what I told Aaron when we first met. If you plan to live alone for the rest of your life, you’ll be a very sad and lonely individual.”
When I can no longer hold my tears in, I let them out.
“Loren, he’s not dead. He’s just a few hours away.”
“I’m crying because I’m angry. Angry that no one told me he was leaving.”
“I don’t think anyone thought you cared.” Her words are hard to hear, but she has a point.
“You’re right. I can’t be mad at anyone but myself.”
“He told you how he felt. If you had shown him the least bit of interest, I don’t think he would have left.”
“What do I do now?” I ask the question, knowing perfectly well what the answer is.
“You go find him,” says Lisa. ”That’s what you do.”
I nod.
I spend the next couple of hours licking my wounds. How could I have been so stupid? He told me he loved me, and I had to go to Greece to realize I love him too.
Every beautiful thing I experienced in Greece was a reminder that I missed him. I thought of Justin, but I missed Aaron.
The day we took the ferry to Milos, I told Mom and Dad how I felt.
“I love him,” I said. “I can’t stop thinking about him. I miss him and Holly so much.”
Their smiles told me they approved. If they knew about Boston, they didn’t tell me. Probably because they didn’t want to ruin our trip.
“Adam, I need Aaron’s address in Boston,” I say as soon as he opens the door.
I give him a dirty look before walking past him to find my sister.
“It’s good to see you too. Come in.”
“You’re back!” says Katherine as soon as she sees me. She’s bouncing Jon on her lap.
“You’re lucky you’re holding a baby in your arms right now.”
“What’s gotten into you?” asks Katherine.
“Both of you have to explain to me why the hell you didn’t tell me he was moving to Boston!”
“First of all,” says Adam, “calm down.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down,” I say. “I’m furious!”
“Second of all,” he continues, “Aaron told me you knew. I swear. He said you knew and that it would be best if we didn’t talk about it.”
I glare at him.
“I don’t believe you, but this will have to wait because right now, what I need is to go speak to him.”
“I’ll text you the address,” says Adam, “Try to calm down before you hit the road.”
I walk over to Katherine and kiss Jon on his tiny head, ”I love you, sweet boy.”
I then turn around and leave.
I walk out the door, and before it closes behind me, I hear Adam say, “She was spitting fire. Damn!”
I drive back home to pack a bag. Even if he never wants to see me again, I’m not leaving Boston until he hears me out.
I’m almost done packing when the doorbell rings. Whoever it is, I don’t have time for it. Probably Katherine and Adam. They’ll try to convince me not to leave until I’ve calmed down.
I open the door, and I can hardly believe my eyes.
“Aaron.”
I hug him. I hug him with all the love and emotion I’ve been suppressing for the past three months.
He hugs me back. I inhale deeply, remembering just how good he smells and how good it feels to be in his arms.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” I say, “How did you know I was back?”
“Your dad called me a few days ago to let me know you’d be back home today and that I should come talk to you, so here I am.”
“Dad,” I say, shaking my head and chuckling a little.
“Come in,” I say. “Please come in.”
When I turn around, he’s there—standing close, warm, real.
I touch his arm, wanting to confirm that he is, in fact, here, standing before me. I look up at him. He’s smiling—a big smile.
“I missed your dimples.”
“You did?”
“Yes.” I feel a tear roll down my cheek. He wipes it with his thumb.
“What exactly did Dad tell you?” I ask.
“Why don’t you tell me why you were going to Boston to find me and what exactly you were going to tell me.”
“I was going to go to Boston to tell you I love you. I love you, Aaron. My love for you took root the moment I met Holly. For as much as she looks like Julie on the outside, on the inside, she is her father’s daughter. Sweet, kind, giving, intelligent, funny, lovable. When you and I met for the first time again, something inside me awakened—my ability to love again.
“I want to kiss you,” he says.
“Kiss me.”