Chapter 19
The grip of Evelina’s body made the room blur and Vaughn’s legs shake within the first few thrusts. That was just how much she moved him and it took every ounce of his control to not simply spend like a green boy.
He rested his head back to watch her ride him, her eyes closed, her lips parted as she moaned softly with every thrust. There was something so gorgeous about her pure abandon. Something undeniable that dragged him out to sea where he didn’t care about drowning.
He would gladly drown to feel her grip around him in release.
She worked for it. Every thrust she ground against him, her sheath clenching, her breath shaking.
He lifted to meet her, holding her hips through the silk of her pretty gown and watching her unravel.
When she finally began to shake, her body massaging him out of control while she moaned his name in the quiet, he felt a triumph and warmth unlike anything he’d ever felt before.
She rode through the crisis, groaning and whimpering, her hands clutching his shoulders.
At last she collapsed against his chest and he chuckled against her neck before he lifted up, continuing to thrust into her shivering body, this time with more purpose.
The heated pleasure streaked up his cock, out of control and powerful.
It was at the last moment that he pushed her back on his lap, let himself pop free of her slick heat.
He caught his cock, covering the head so his release wouldn’t stain her dress.
She kissed him as the pleasure faded a fraction, spread warmth through every nerve ending of his body.
There was peace to what happened between them even if it was nothing peaceful.
But she brought him that, centered him, somehow.
Made him remember who he’d been before his world had come crashing down around him.
Made him dream of what it could be when the next fortnight was over and he was no longer a married man.
“This was a good negotiation,” she laughed as she moved off his lap and cuddled up at his side. He held her, basking in the afterglow of all the passion.
“Yes. I think we should negotiate every decision this way. What to eat, where to go, when to invite your family around for supper.”
Her fingers traced his chest. “It’s a pretty idea. Do you really want that?”
“Yes.” He kissed the crown of her head without hesitation. “We can work out the details, but this is what I need, now more than ever. Is it what you want?”
She nodded without looking up at him. “As much time as you wish to share, I’ll make myself available.”
He frowned at that turn of phrase. It made sense, of course. What they were negotiating, after all, were the terms of a real arrangement. He would be her protector, this time in full and happy truth. But that felt…empty somehow?
“You have a very odd expression on your face,” she said, and he realized she was looking at him now. “Is everything well?”
“I think I’m fully feeling the effects of a very long day.”
Her hands smoothed along his chest gently. “It must have been difficult. Even if you’re ready for what happens next, you were married for five years. You had hopes and dreams.”
He nodded. “Yes. I thought Florence and I would be together for all our lives. That we’d grow to care about each other. Love each other. That we would have children.” He frowned. “Her parting salvo to me was about that.”
Evie lifted her head. “About children?”
“Yes. She declared that she would give Southwater all the heirs denied to me. She even implied that she was pregnant now. Though when I asked, she admitted she wasn’t. I do believe they thought she was, though, which is why he stepped up to push the divorce harder.”
“So she wasn’t pregnant after all,” Evie breathed.
He jolted and looked down at her. He had expected she’d look as shocked as he’d felt when Florence said that. That they would commiserate on their surprise and whatever other feelings such a cruel trick created.
But Evie didn’t look surprised. Relieved, yes. But not surprised.
“No, she’s not pregnant,” he said softly. “Evie, what did you know?”
Her lips parted and now the relief was gone and replaced by a faint expression of…panic. Not because of Florence’s lie…because of what he realized now was her own.
“Evelina,” he said.
She got up and smoothed her wrinkled skirt.
Her guilt was so plain. He recognized it because he’d seen it so often on Florence’s face over the years when her lies and affairs had been revealed one by one.
Of course, Evie was nothing like her, but to see that was visceral in a way he couldn’t seem to control.
He waited for her response, breathless to find out if she would try to continue whatever lie hung between them. To his relief, she said, “Matilda…she—she had overheard something like that. She told me that night we gathered with Ravenscroft, Thistlebury and Harriet.”
Now he recoiled and got to his feet, shoving himself back in place so he was no longer as naked physically as he felt emotionally. “What? That was weeks ago, Evie. And you never said anything to me?”
Her gaze fluttered down. “No-no. I—Matilda is very often wrong about her gossip. I didn’t even know if it was true.”
“And yet you still denied me the rumor, even though it might have been revealed to me in a much crueler way. It was revealed to me that way today,” he snapped, and walked away from her.
When he pivoted back, she had clenched her hands before herself and she was trembling. “I know I should have told you. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t like lies, even those of omission. And you know why, Evie.”
“I do,” she said. “I do know. But I also know you—you love her.” He flinched at her use of the present tense with that statement.
“And yes, that you wanted children with her. And to tell you would have hurt you. And perhaps even driven you to want even more revenge. I thought until I was certain it was best to—to wait.”
“I did care for her once,” he admitted. “Foolishly, in the end. But understand that I never would have kept something like this from you, even if I know you also loved Southwater.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I need to go.”
“Oh no, please,” she said, and took a step toward him.
He took an equal step back. If she touched him, he would just forgive her. He would tell himself she’d meant no real harm and it would probably be true. But he wasn’t sure he could trust that voice. He’d been burned by it before. “Not forever. We will discuss this further. I just need to think.”
Her hands, which she’d been holding up in a plea, fell back to her sides. She nodded slowly. “I-I understand. I do. Please take all the time you need.”
“Thank you,” he said, and then he moved to the door, unlocked it and exited into her foyer. His head spun as his horse was brought and then he rode off into the night, knowing that it wasn’t Florence’s duplicity that troubled him.
It was the idea that he had been kept in the dark by Evie. A woman he hadn’t realized he’d come to have so much faith in.
* * *
Vaughn was gone in an instant and after she’d watched him ride away without so much as a glance over his shoulder, Evie sat back down on the settee where they’d made love and rested her head back to stare at the ceiling above.
Tears stung her eyes. Guilt ripped at her heart. And it hurt so damn much to know she’d let him down because she was too much of a coward to hurt him and risk the consequences. Was this what love was? Just something that felt pretty and then only hurt?
No, that couldn’t be true. She saw the love between Arabella and Silas and it wasn’t that. But perhaps her sister was just a lucky one in a million to find such a powerful connection. Perhaps Evelina shouldn’t wish for something so rare.
Even though her heart was filled with the emotion for the man who had just strode out her door.
The door to the foyer was still open and so when there was a knock on the door a moment later, she heard it, as well as the male voices talking softly after Parsons let whomever was calling in.
Her heart leapt and she got to her feet and rushed to the foyer. “Vaughn!” she cried out, thinking she would see he’d returned because he wanted to continue the conversation.
Only it wasn’t him. She came up short, her hand lifting to her lips.
It was the Duke of Southwater. Harry had been talking to her butler but now he looked at her from across the expanse between them.
He smiled and she drew back. That was the same soft smile he’d always given her during their relationship.
The one that had faded long before he ended things between them so cruelly.
“Evelina,” he said, walking past Parsons toward her.
The butler looked at her in question and she nodded to say she would accept the unexpected visitor. “Your Grace,” she managed to squeak out.
Southwater tilted his head. “Your Grace?”
She didn’t respond, refused to acknowledge the question in his tone or change how she addressed him. “I didn’t expect you.”
“I know. I simply needed to see you. May we talk?”
She sighed because the last thing she wanted to do was interact with this man when she could still feel Vaughn on her skin and in her heart. When she was still torn apart by what she’d done and hadn’t done, alongside what she felt so powerfully for him.
“Please,” Southwater added, and took a step toward her.
She motioned to the parlor. “Very well. I have a few moments before I must leave for my sister’s.”
She had no such appointment, but it left her with options, at least. He followed her back into the parlor and looked around. “Your sister’s home really is fine. It’s good you had it to return to.”
She pursed her lips. “Yes, after you ejected me so you could give your new lover my house, I suppose it could have been very bad if I hadn’t had this place to fall back to.”