Chapter 40
forty
Thankfully, the Uber driver doesn’t give me a second glance. I’ve been holding it together, and I think a lot of it has to do with how little this woman regarded me. She didn’t even give me a knowing look in the rearview mirror for wearing men’s boxers and holding my heels. I don’t think I’ve ever screamed walk of shame this loud with my appearance, but she didn’t even question it. I don’t Uber often, but I’ll make sure to leave her a high rating. She deserves all the stars.
On the way over, I sent Nicolette a response saying she had nothing to worry about and that Chase and I were just friends. I haven’t gotten a response. I guess she doesn’t have much to say about her victory, but I know someone who will have plenty to say about this situation. And he’s on the other side of the door. The empty hall of our apartment feels like the one thing going my way today. At least the neighbors won’t see me like this.
Taking a steadying breath, I unlock my apartment and walk inside. The space is clean and quiet, and I let out a sigh. I’m ready to collapse on the couch and wallow for the next hour before I go into work. I’m still working a half day today. I figured we might be out late because of the party, so I didn’t book anyone this morning, but if I had known things would end like this, I might have taken the day.
I drape my dress over the back of a kitchen barstool, but I don’t make it to the couch before Miles rounds the corner, his face brightening as soon as he sees me. “Hey, slut!” I must look as bad as I feel because before I can respond, his face falls. Rushing over, he wraps me in a hug. “What did he do to you?”
There’s something about being hugged by someone you love when you’re on the verge of falling apart that makes the floodgates open. My face crumples against his chest, and even though I knew this would eventually happen, it hurts to say the words out loud. “It’s over.”
Miles pets my hair, his arms squeezing around me tighter. “I’m sorry.” He pulls back to look at me but keeps me in a tight embrace. “Did he at least make you breakfast, or do I need to put on an apron?”
I huff a laugh and break away to wipe a fallen tear. “He did, but we were interrupted.”
Miles cocks an eyebrow. “Are you still hungry? I was about to whip up some avocado toast if you want to spill the tea while I cook.”
“That sounds great,” I say with a sigh as I take a seat on the empty barstool. I don’t have much of an appetite, but if I don’t eat before work, I’ll regret it.
Miles claps his hands and starts gathering everything he needs from the pantry and fridge. With the first cut of his avocado, he glances in my direction. “Do I need to fight him?”
I laugh and wipe my eyes one more time for good measure. “No. It’s not his fault really.” Smoothing my hair back, I try to collect my thoughts. “His boss is Nicolette.”
He pauses. “Who the hell is—” He locks eyes with me, understanding dawning on him. “ Oh! Bougie Lady? Your Nicolette?”
I nod. “The one and only.”
He mirrors my nod but slower. “So . . . who cares?”
His reaction gets a feeble laugh out of me. “The whole point of Chase needing a date was because his boss has a thing for him. Nicolette has been trying to win him over for a while, I guess.” I rub my hands over my face. “I don’t really know all the details, but she threatened me and basically told me to back off.”
Miles lets out a scoff. “What are we, twelve?”
“Apparently. She threatened to take away all the friends she referred as clients.”
This makes him lift his head from the tomato he’s dicing. “Fucking bitch.”
“Yeah.”
He goes back to cutting. “Is he worth it?”
I don’t answer right away. Could I sacrifice that many clients if it meant I could be with Chase? Maybe, but not if we were just casually sleeping together. I’d need more, and he didn’t offer it. “He would be if this were real.”
He lifts a skeptical brow. “I’ve seen you two together. It looked pretty real to me.”
“Real chemistry and attraction maybe, but if he doesn’t want to give this a real shot, none of it matters.”
Miles sets a plate of bright green avocado toast in front of me, and I thank him.
“Did you ask him?”
Taking a bite, I shake my head and try to stop thinking about the other toast I was being hand-fed earlier. “No, but that man is not shy. If he wanted something more, I’d know.”
Miles eats his toast, deep in thought. Eventually, he just shakes his head. “I’m sorry.”
His acceptance of the situation somehow makes me feel better. I’ll get over this. It might suck for a while, but as long as Chase is out of sight, he’ll eventually be out of mind. And that will happen a lot faster if Miles accepts this and doesn’t bring him up.
“Nicolette sucks for using her power over us in all this, but it’s probably for the best. You know?”
“Why? Because you’d keep sleeping with him if that wasn’t the case?”
My shoulders drop in resignation. “Yup.”
His lips press together, and his eyes narrow. “What about all that talk of not wanting to get in too deep?”
I take my last bite of toast before answering. “I don’t know what it is about him, but if he showed interest, I probably would have done whatever he wanted for as long as he wanted.”
Miles gives me a pointed stare. “No, you wouldn’t have. You’ve never taken any guy’s bullshit after Greg. You would have eventually gotten sick of him fucking around.”
“But he has this way of making his fucking around seem like he’s not fucking around at all. There’s something about him that always comes across as genuine.” I groan and let my head fall into my hands. “I need a shower.”
Miles takes my plate and sets it in the sink. “Go shower. You’ll feel better.”
I rub my hands over my face and try to muster all my energy to take on the rest of the day. “Yeah. Okay. Thanks for breakfast.”
He smiles a sad, tight-lipped smile, and I fight the urge to fall apart all over again as I get to my feet and head into my bathroom.
The only way to keep everything I’m feeling at bay is to keep myself busy. As soon as the bathroom door shuts, I don’t linger in front of the mirror. I rip Chase’s shirt and boxers off, so my body is completely bare and my own .
Stepping under the water, I turn my face up. Every time I close my eyes, another flicker of his hands and mouth comes into view. I shouldn’t let myself go there. Grabbing the soap, I scrub frantically. Each part of me lathered and washed is another part of last night erased.