Chapter Fifteen #2
Jed exhaled slowly, sticking the letter back into his pocket.
“It weren’t things I wanted to bring into your house.
Things I wanted to drag behind me. I know I should tell you everything, but…
I can’t. Something inside just won’t let me.
And I’m sorry–I yelled at you fer keeping things to yourself, but turns out, I’m an even worse coward. ”
Maeve gently shook her head, setting her hand against his. “You told me that there letter exists at all. If it ain’t something ye’re ready to share, I’m alright with that.” She paused, adding afterward, “You know, Jed? I reckon the pair of us ain’t real good with opening up to folks.”
He gave her a weak chuckle. “I reckon we’ll have to work hard on that. Together.”
“As partners?”
Jed nodded. “I reckon we should talk more ‘bout Lila, but I’m afraid I’ll pass out if we wait to eat even a minute longer.”
That got a good giggle out of Maeve. “Suppose you’ve earned a good meal after all the nonsense I put you through.
Go an’ grab Lila; she can sit with me while you eat, first.” A wave of relief filled her chest as she turned back towards the pie.
There were still things they had to discuss, decisions that had to be made.
But, at least for now, the two of them seemed back on the same path.
They weren’t on bad terms, anymore. He saw her as a friend, as a partner. As...as his wife.
‘Things’re gonna be alright, Pa. You just wait and see.”
Maeve’s hands had barely wrapped around the pie tin when Jed suddenly asked, “Maeve? Since when’d Lila learned to knit?”
A hot blush raced up the back of Maeve’s neck; she’d completely forgotten about Jed’s surprise blanket. The pie went clattering against the counter as she flew through the kitchen and into the living room, arms outstretched to try and snag the knitting.
At some point during their conversation, Lila had kicked her blanket off, revealing her secret project for the world to see. Jed already had it in his hands, inspecting it curiously while Lila weakly waved her limbs about.
“Th-That’s mine!” Maeve insisted, trying to take the half-finished back from Jed. “I’m–I’m making it fer someone!” She’d said too much, blushing harder as realization spread across Jed’s face. “No, I–it ain’t fer you, Jed!”
He gave her a bemused smile as she finally managed to take it from him. “Yer face sure says it’s fer me.”
“W-Well–it ain’t finished, so it ain’t yers yet.” Maeve sulked, dropping back onto the couch with a dramatic huff. “Lila, you were supposed to hide that from him.”
Lila’s eyes fluttered as she fidgeted on the couch. If Maeve didn’t know any better, she would’ve thought the poor thing was trying to get comfortable. Soft fussing soon built into crying, and the girl’s face flushed red with clear frustration.
“Think we might’ve let her sleep too long?” Jed asked.
Doubt crept into the back of Maeve’s mind.
Maybe she had waited too long to feed Lila?
The toddler desperately needed sleep, but it did them no good if she woke up starved.
Maeve sat down on the couch and gathered Lila into her arms, gently bouncing the toddler on her lap.
The moment her hands brushed against the toddler’s bare arm, panic squeezed her heart. “Jed, do you think she feels too hot?”
Jed immediately leaned down, giving the toddler’s forehead a gentle kiss. The sudden paternal moment took Maeve by surprise, though her husband’s expression erased whatever positive feeling was building inside her. “She been under that blanket all day?” he asked.
Maeve wasn’t sure. “Would she get that warm from just a blanket?”
Jed frowned, reaching out to press the back of his hand against Lila’s cheek and then her forehead. Her flush had grown far more vivid now, and the cries she made weren’t like anything Maeve had heard from her before.
“Jed.” Maeve could barely speak through her growing panic. “Jed, something’s wrong.”
She’d barely finished her sentence before Jed moved to grab a lantern hanging on the wall. “Get one of my coats, Maeve. Wrap Lila up and put on your shawl. We can use it as a makeshift sling to keep her safe while we ride.”
Maeve wasted no time in doing so. She did her best not to sprint throughout the cabin, terrified her legs would suddenly give out and she’d go falling onto Lila.
She held the toddler tightly as she gathered her shawl, taking a beat to press Lila tightly against her chest. The heat from her little body was intense, and Maeve found sweat beginning to form on the back of her neck as Lila’s cries grew weak.
“It’s alright, Lila,” she whispered. “It’s gonna be alright.”
That word had begun to lose all meaning to Maeve.
It felt like nothing would be ‘alright’ ever again should something happen to Lila.
And it was her fault. She'd been in charge of the toddler all day. She should have noticed something was off sooner. She should have realized Lila wasn’t acting like her usual self.
‘God...please don’t take this child away ‘cause of my failings.’
It was a selfish prayer, and Maeve knew it. But she couldn’t help herself; even if it meant facing the Lord’s disappointment upon Judgement Day, Maeve would do anything to ensure Lila’s safety. Even if that meant leaving her in the hands of far more capable people, like Ms. Miller.
‘I'd promise to never see her again just to make sure she were safe.’
The thought struck Maeve hard. She knew it was the truth, but it hurt far more than she could have imagined.
Jed had long since run outside, and by the time Maeve stepped off the front porch, he’d readied Ash and ridden up to meet her.
One hand held fast to the now-lit lantern, but Jed still had no trouble helping Maeve and Lila up into the saddle, positioning them in front while he controlled the reins.
With a swift kick to the stallion’s side, the Mercer family raced off into the dead of night with nothing but the swinging lantern to guide them forward.