Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
TUCKER
Something itched deep in my soul, and I crossed my arms, drumming my fingers on one of them against the unwavering sensation as I watched Jackson crimp the final bit of wiring needed to complete the last section of fencing.
A huge storm had blown through the area the other night and while most of the property hadn’t gotten any damage, Mack had notified me that part of the fencing in one of the pastures where we turned the bachelor herd out had completely come down.
We’d had to install three new posts and all new wiring, which had taken us nearly two days to completely repair, but Jackson had just put the finishing touches on it.
His blond hair was darkened with sweat around his temples, and as he stood up from his hunched position, he ran his forearm over his forehead, smearing dirt and grime in the process.
The muscles in his back bunched and flexed with the motion, making that low brewing feeling inside me that much more unbearable.
Normally, I’d probably be salivating like a dog with a bone for the picture Jackson made in his cut-off tee and wrangler jeans, dirty and sweat slicked.
But he wasn’t wearing my fucking jacket.
It was petty. Real fucking petty, honestly.
The early afternoon sun was blaring down on us, and it’d been unusually hot since that storm rolled through, so there hadn’t been a need for the thick, insulated work jacket.
But Jackson felt imprinted on me, like even without the chain around my neck, he’d be forever woven into me, and I selfishly wanted the same for him.
Even if no one else knew, I wanted to know he was wearing something of mine.
Of course, he hadn’t made matters any better for me when he’d walked into breakfast this morning wearing his old jacket.
I’d been in a piss-poor mood, no thanks to Jackson, but also because Nighttime had relentlessly hounded me the past two nights.
Her claws had found a soft spot in my armor, and she’d twisted and prodded against it, making the guilt swirling inside me over what I was doing with him so much more relentless while I laid awake staring at the ceiling.
That was partially why I was currently situated on the end of the tailgate to my truck.
The fatigue was mind-numbing, but all the muscles in my body felt stiff and weighed down, and every movement was like trying to wade through sludge.
I was sure my exhaustion was written clear as day on my face, so I hadn’t been completely surprised when Granger had suggested I take a partner with me out to finish off the fencing.
I just wasn’t expecting him to volunteer Jackson.
Between the bone-deep weariness and the insecurity, I’d been more snippy than usual, and I’d had no other place to vent it than on the ever-pleasant man.
Jackson hadn’t done anything necessarily wrong, but it wasn’t the way I’d do it.
The way he wrapped the wire hadn’t been straight enough for me, but I hadn’t been able to do it right myself either.
It was frustrating as hell, so when things were coming to a close, I’d done us both a favor and excused myself to eat one of the sandwiches we’d brought along in the back of my truck.
But now the work was done, and I was going to have to face the music.
I should have known that my sunshine of a hand wouldn’t be put off by my less than stellar attitude.
Jackson glanced over his shoulder at me, flashing me that fucking dimple with his wide smile.
Even being nearly dead on my feet, my whole body flushed as I was basked in the warm glow of his attention.
Though, when he settled himself between my legs, bracketing me in with his arms on either side of my body, and leaned his weight back to look up at me through his lashes, I couldn’t stop my scowl from deepening and my brows furrowing further together.
“What crawled up your ass and died today?” he joked.
“Nothing.” I huffed, sitting up slightly.
“You sure?”
“Positive.”
Jackson’s grin grew impossibly wide, and he shifted his weight slightly, so he was more eye level with me. “Liar. Tell me what the problem is.”
“No problem,” I lied, staring down my nose at him.
He chuckled good naturedly and shook his head. “Well, Mr. Grumpy Pants, if there’s no problem, can I kiss you?”
By some unspoken agreement, we’d been keeping the affection and flirting to a minimum around the other hands and folks on the farm.
I think we both knew we didn’t need outside opinions influencing things while we were exploring whatever was going on here.
Something in me melted a little at his request, and staring into those mossy oak eyes, I knew I wouldn’t be able to deny him anything.
Leaning in, our lips met in gentle, unhurried kisses as we took our time savoring the contact.
After a few pecks, Jackson hummed against my mouth before pulling away, his signature grin back in place.
But now that I’d finally let myself fall into him, I wasn’t ready to let that bubble pop.
Shifting forward slightly, I rested my forehead against his shoulder, burrowing into the crook of his neck.
He smelled like sunshine and fresh air with the underlying scent of hard work on his skin, and it made my head spin a little.
But it was everything. It was him. Jackson began to cart slow fingers through the hairs at the base of my neck, and I closed my eyes, letting myself sink into the embrace.
Somewhere in the distance, I could hear the chirps of bird song, and a breeze rolled through the trees on the other side of the pasture, whispering little words of safety and peace.
The repetitive motion of Jackson’s breathing began to lull me, and I found myself slowly starting to drift into that hazy place of relaxation just before rest.
“What’s really on your mind, baby?” Jackson’s voice was a low rumble, its vibrations stirring me just a little from the silky caress of my twilight zone.
Maybe that was why the baby seemed to sink into me like a ball weight, but where I expected a deep ache as it crashed through the layers of my chest, all I felt was a penetrating warmth.
It felt as natural there inside me as it sounded coming from his lips, and it somehow gave me the strength to respond honestly.
“You haven’t worn your jacket,” I muttered against his neck, grateful to not be looking at him as I admitted it.
He was silent for a moment, his fingers stopping as he processed that, and I nuzzled against him like a cat begging for more pets until he resumed. “It’s been pretty warm out.”
“I know,” I hedged. “But…”
“But I told you I’d give it back when it got warm.”
My throat suddenly felt too tight, and I struggled to swallow against the sensation.
There was the issue. I knew it might have been stupid to be worrying about something he’d said before things had changed between us, but I couldn’t stomach the idea of having to take that jacket back.
To anyone else, it was just a piece of clothing, but it meant so much more.
Jackson didn’t need me to confirm, I could feel the way his body stiffened under me when he made the connection, and the only thing giving me any sort of solace was that he was still playing with the ends of my hair.
“Will it make any difference if I tell you I’ll keep it?”
I thought about it but shook my head slightly. There was a broken piece of me, laid out before Jackson, and it was crying out for a tether. A tie between the two of us that couldn’t just be tossed into a box and forgotten about until the winter chill made him crave a warm body.
“Well, I can’t exactly wear it every day. For one, I’ll probably stroke out at some point from the heat, and second, the boys will never let me live it down.”
A small huff of amusement left me at his matter-of-fact tone, but I knew he was right.
“I know,” I admitted. “It’s just… I like knowing you want my claim on you, that’s all.”
Rough fingers slid around my neck to my jaw, lifting my face out from his neck and tilting so I was looking into those soul-altering eyes.
There was a furrow between his brow I’d only ever seen when he was concentrating deeply.
“I want everything with you, Tucker Legare. I know that might be too much, considering you’d just agreed to try, but I don’t want you to think there isn’t a single part of me that’s not jumping in two feet first, so yeah, I want that claim. ”
It might have been the exhaustion starting to take over, but it hit me then, how seriously he was taking what we were doing, and that more than anything had emotion pricking at the corner of my eyes. “Okay,” I whispered.
Jackson’s eyes continued to bounce over my face, cataloging every inch of whatever he found there, before one of his thumbs came around to swipe under my eye softly. “Have you been getting much sleep, Tucker?”
“Enough,” I responded, the weight pulling down on my bones suddenly that much heavier now that I was aware of it again. “Why?”
He shrugged one shoulder. “Just something Tallie said. Something about not needing two insomniacs on this farm.”
I blinked, sucking in a slow breath. “Me and who else?”
Jackson’s smile was placating and soft. “Me.”
“Oh. I didn’t realize you were still struggling with sleep. I thought the ear plugs were working well for Weston’s snores.”
“They are,” he confirmed. “But I had a few nights when sleep and I weren’t friends recently. I hadn’t realized you had actual insomnia, though.”
“Nighttime is a bitch,” I said through a yawn.
“Here.” Jackson motioned, pulling away from me to climb up onto the tailgate.
He laid himself down across the bed, grunting a little as he shifted around to find a comfortable spot.
When he did, he propped his head up with one arm and opened the other wide with a devastating grin on his face. “Come here.”