Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
JACKSON
The heat hung in the air like a weighted blanket as we made our way along an unfamiliar trail.
We’d only been riding for half an hour, and the coverage from the trees provided a small reprieve, but everything felt sticky with the humidity.
I was beginning to wonder if this was some fucked-up form of torture Tucker had come up with to punish me.
What for, I didn’t know, but this was bordering on cruel and unusual.
“Where are we going again?” I called, rolling with the movement of Sky maneuvering around a large pothole in the path.
“You’ll see,” he responded over his shoulder, and I let out a small huff. It’d been like this since he’d grabbed me from feeding duties earlier this morning. No indication on where we were going, and no clue to what we’d be doing there.
The way to… wherever we were headed had been open for the beginning, allowing Tucker and I to ride side by side, but once we’d passed into a thick grove of trees on the other side of Block A, it had turned narrow and more unbeaten.
So instead of getting the benefit of Tucker’s gorgeous side profile, I was staring at the back end of Poe with only a sliver of Tucker’s defined back, and as tempting as that was, I was growing impatient.
“How much longer then?” I grumbled, lowering my head out of the way of a hanging branch.
But just as the words had left my lips, the path opened to overlook the bank of a wide river.
Trees lined both sides, but the shore was sandy, and while the water wasn’t crystal clear, I could tell it was cool and inviting.
It had enough of a current that the sound of the flowing water carried all the way to where the horses had come to a stop.
“Not much longer.” Tuck glanced at me, and I swore he had a subtle tilt to his lips, but it was obscured slightly with his facial hair. There was no mistaking the teasing glint in his eye before he urged Poe forward, though.
I shook my head a little, unable to hold back my own smirk as I clicked my tongue so Sky would follow.
Things had shifted between Tucker and me for sure after that night in his cabin, but it felt more tangible since we’d lain out in his truck.
Whatever walls Tucker had built up had broken down just enough for me to get through.
Or maybe I’d learned to jump them. Either way, it finally felt like we were moving forward instead of dancing around each other.
The path sloped down to the river’s edge, and once there, Tucker hopped off Poe and led him to a grassy area, situating the reins so they wouldn’t fall off onto the ground when he was grazing.
I did the same with Sky and just as I was about to ask what the hell we were doing, Tucker dropped his hat onto a nearby tree stump and reached around to pull his shirt over his head.
My mouth dried up in an instant, and it felt like my eyes were glued to every ridge and crevice of his body that he was now exposing.
In both the times I’d been with Tucker, he’d been mostly clothed, so the eyeful I was getting now felt monumental and well overdue.
His skin was a warm shade that came from working out in the sun day after day but creamier where it was hidden away.
The defined cluster of muscles along his arms made me want to sink my teeth into them.
His chest and pecs had a light dusting of dark hair that ran together down his abs before disappearing under his waistband.
It was soft looking, and for a moment, all I could imagine was sifting my fingers through it to confirm its texture while I was once again on my knees for him.
That visual didn’t stay in my head long though because the next thing I knew, Tucker was kicking off his boots before popping the button on his pants.
I nearly swallowed my tongue as he pulled the denim off to reveal a pair of tight black trunks underneath.
Sure, objectively speaking, I’d seen far more intimate parts of Tucker exposed to me that night in the stall, but the weird atmosphere and his behavior had been all I could focus on, so watching him strip before me now felt way too erotic.
Turning back to the stump, Tucker situated his hat back on his head then shot me a confused look when he realized I was still standing there gaping like a dumbass.
“You goin’ in like that?” he asked, raising one brow.
“We’re getting in?” I asked dumbly, unable to keep my eyes from dropping to the downy hair on his chest and stomach again.
Instead of answering me, Tucker shot me a smirk that had no right to be as sexy as it was before turning to wade into the water.
I watched after him till he got about thigh deep, my heart racing in my chest at the sight he made, before my brain finally kicked in.
My boots were haphazardly pulled off, and I nearly faceplanted trying to wrangle myself out of my jeans and shirt, but I managed to get down to my boxer briefs before slowly easing myself into the water after him.
It was cool, just like I’d imagined, but despite my initial thought that the river wasn’t clear, I could tell now that the water was reflecting a green coloring due to the surrounding trees.
The pull of the current was strong against my legs as I waded out toward where Tucker had situated himself, resting back on his hands with his face tilted up toward the warm sun above.
Despite the shoreline being sandy, everything under my feet was solid rock, making maneuvering a slow process as I tried not to slip or step on something wrong.
Once I made it, I dropped down beside Tucker, something swirling in my gut that I couldn’t quite identify.
“Is this what we’re doing today? Skipping out on work to laze in the river?” I asked, somewhat awkwardly running my hands along the water’s surface.
“Is there a problem if it is?” He kept his face tilted upward but opened one eye slightly to peek at me.
“No, not at all.” There was a long pause after, the silence filled with the trickling water running around us, a slow breeze rolling through the trees, and a far-off bird call.
Suddenly, Tucker shifted, rolling himself toward and over me.
His upper body was warm from being exposed to elements on our ride and the unobstructed sun, but the hairs on his stomach were cool with the water that clung to them as they scraped along my abs.
I opened my legs a little wider, allowing him to settle himself against me, and let out a soft, contented sigh.
“I wanted time alone. Just the two of us. No expectations or work to get in the way,” he murmured, the shade from his hat obscuring his eyes a little.
I took in every detail of him. The weight of him against me, the contrast of his tanned arms to his pale chest, the ghost of a smile on his lips. He was so fucking breathtaking.
Lifting one hand, I grabbed the Stetson he always seemed to wear and plopped it on my own head, exposing the life that sparkled behind those whiskey-colored eyes. “Why, Tucker Legare, if I didn’t know any better, I might think this was a date.”
And then there it was. Those lips spread into a smile that would have had my heart racing away with me, but then they crashed into mine with bruising force, and it was as if every beat in my chest was only for him.
Every errant thump against my ribs spelled out T-U-C-K-E-R.
When he pulled away, it felt like he pulled a piece of my soul with him.
“Good thing I was hoping you’d want a date.” He grinned, and it was brighter than any sun in the sky. Tucker snagged his hat back, stealing another quick peck as I reeled from the sudden shift in the normally grumpy man.
“All right,” I exclaimed, sitting more upright and lifting my hands in the air like I’d been caught rifling through the cookie jar. “I don’t know who you are, and while you’re real good lookin’, I’m a mentally taken man, so I’ll have to politely ask you to stop being so forward with me.”
It didn’t hit me at first, what I said, but I knew I’d fucked up. Royally. A door slammed shut in Tucker’s eyes, and I felt the walls rattle around us with the force of it. And then the plaster and shingles started to fall, breaking apart this perfect little reality we’d only just put together.
“Mentally taken, huh?” His huff of amusement was forced, and it punched me right in the gut.
“I didn’t mean anything by it,” I urged, feeling a low-level of desperation under my skin. “I wasn’t poking fun or trying to be shitty.”
“I know,” he said, lowering his head between his shoulders before he pulled away and settled back in his original spot. The water was icy cold as it rushed over my skin, and I realized I was quickly freezing over from the chill traveling through my blood.
My mind raced as I tried to scramble for something to say that would salvage even a small piece of that playful, open version of Tucker I’d just had in my grasp.
But before I could come up with anything, he let out a heavy sigh.
It was full of so much. Years of hurt. Months of confusing feelings. Not enough time to figure it all out.
“Granger knows.”
They weren’t the words I’d been expecting, and for a moment they caused so much whiplash, I couldn’t think properly. “Oh?” I croaked, sure I should be mustering more of a reaction but finding it hard with everything else.
Tucker nodded, staring out at the tree line on the opposite shore like there was some great wisdom hidden among all the leaves and bark.
“He’s fine with it. Not surprising, honestly.
That man loves chaos and drama more than any California twink I’ve met.
But he said something to me, and… I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t have had to hear it to realize it’s true, but he told me Raleigh would want me happy. ”
My heart started up another fast rhythm in my chest, but this time I couldn’t make out what it was saying.
“I love Raleigh, Jackson. I don’t think I’m capable of ever falling out of love with him, even now. There will always be a part of my heart that belongs to him, and I’ve felt so guilty about that. It doesn’t feel fair to be doing this with you when I still feel so committed to him.”
I took a slow breath, trying to center my thoughts. This wasn’t new information. It was clear as day Tucker still loved Raleigh, but this was the first time we were really discussing it in the context of what it meant for us.
“Like I said before, I know what you and Raleigh had was special. I think it’s incredible you love as deeply as you do. For me, it's not about if you can move on from Raleigh enough to love me. That’s not the question here,” I said, unable to look away from the man beside me.
“What is?” Tucker asked, looking at me then.
“Can you love me too? In addition to Raleigh.”
Those amber hues were slightly obscured with the shade from his hat, the furrow between his brow more pronounced with the darkness, but I could feel the way he was searching my face.
If he was looking for any hint of doubt or a sign I wasn’t being truthful, he wouldn’t find it.
There wasn’t a single part of me that wanted Tucker to feel like he had to choose.
Raleigh was a part of him, and while I had been shaken by finally putting a face to that part, it didn’t change my belief.
“I think I could.” Tucker’s response was whispered low, like he was scared of the power those words held. They sent off an atomic bomb inside me, every atom vibrating with the relief and elation caused by his declaration.
Before I could respond, a shirl whinny had both of us turning to look behind us for the source.
Poe had wandered into the water, and he began pawing at the water playfully with a hard snort.
Then he looked back up at us, both ears forward and, swear to God, a fucking sparkle in his eye before he started to go down.
“Oh, fuck, Poe! No! Not with the saddle on!” Tucker shouted as both of us scrambled up to stop him.
“Poe! Don’t make me full name you!” I added, managing to reach the horse before Tucker and pushing against his chest while being mindful I was barefoot.
After a few minutes of trying to prevent the thousand-pound animal from ruining the leather and being uncomfortable with wet blankets on his back, Tucker and I finally settled on pulling the tack off.
Poe dropped down into the cool water with a contented grunt the moment we both stepped back, and Tucker shook his head.
“Goddamn, Poe,” he grumbled as he shuffled back to the shore, saddle propped in his arms, and I followed with the pads and girth.
“What is Poe’s registered name?” I asked, realizing while I’d threatened it, I hadn’t ever heard it be used.
“Poetic Night,” Tucker responded easily as he propped the saddle up against the stump.
Something passed through me then, a little frisson that told me a piece of Tucker’s story had just settled into place. Looking back toward the black horse, I realized what it was. Poe was always meant to be his. Maybe in the same way Tucker was always meant to be Raleigh’s. And maybe mine too.
Later, when the sun was just beginning to lower behind the tree line and the slow chill of evening was setting in, we got ourselves dressed and tacked Poe back up.
We’d managed to wipe away a lot of the water that clung to his coat with our hands when he came out.
He’d dried under the afternoon sun, so he wouldn’t be uncomfortable on the ride back.
We were ten minutes into our ride home when something hit me.
“Tucker?” I called up to him.
“Mmm?” He glanced over his shoulder slightly.
“How many California twinks do you know?”
He chuckled softly and lowered his head. “Not a damn one.”