Chapter 32
The next day, during the lunch break, Nick arrived with Becky at the Pequea Creek house.
She gathered everyone around and asked them to push to get as much done in the next few hours as possible.
“Then everyone will have tomorrow off, and we’ll regroup Monday morning at seven thirty.
Over the weekend, Ike and I will redraft a plan to try to finish this project by the end of September. ”
After Jacob, Caleb, and Tim got back to work, Joanna asked Becky if everything was all right with the business.
“Jah,” Becky answered. They hadn’t said a word about what project was next.
But that wasn’t her biggest concern. Joanna spoke quietly. “Is Adam okay?”
Becky appeared gaunt and worried. She’d lost weight, which she hadn’t had to spare, in the last month. In a near whisper she said, “We haven’t heard back from the doctor yet.”
Saturday morning Joanna and Mammi Lu canned beans.
Then Joanna spent the rest of the day weeding the garden.
In the evening she mucked out the stable.
That night, by the light of her lamp, she finished Persuasion.
Of course, all along she’d known Anne and Captain Wentworth would get their second chance, but the story still resonated with her.
Mostly with how composed Anne was through trial after trial, much like Elinor in Sense and Sensibility, and yet each character, in her own way, showed her emotions at the end.
Anne’s was an “overpowering happiness.” Joanna longed to feel that way.
It was a letter, a well-written letter, that changed Anne and Captain Wentworth’s trajectory. But Captain Wentworth, unlike Adam, had been honest in his letter writing—and he’d also been vulnerable.
She took the daisies out from under her Bible and put them back in the book. She wouldn’t return it to Adam anytime soon. Perhaps she’d reread it first.
As she blew out her lamp she wondered if she was being too hard on him. He had been honest with her eventually. And vulnerable. It had taken time for Anne and Captain Wentworth to get their second chance. Was she willing to let time work one out for her?
Sunday was a church day at Jacob’s uncle’s farm.
Joanna would have feigned being sick, but she didn’t want Mammi Lu driving the buggy along the main highway by herself.
When Dawdi Marcus had grown ill, Joanna had forced herself to learn how to control his horse, and now Mammi Lu didn’t venture out on her own much anymore.
They were among the last to arrive, thankfully.
That meant less time to interact with others and to dodge looks and comments.
When Joanna returned from seeing to the horse and buggy, Mammi Lu stood with the older women, next to Becky.
Elaine and Rhoda stood a few feet away. Joanna glanced around for Ike but didn’t see him.
Dawdi Hiram waved and gave her a kind smile.
Adam stood with the single men. Jacob wasn’t in line, and Joanna didn’t see Miriam. Relieved, she joined the other single women. It appeared Jacob and Miriam would be shunned at another time, most likely in two weeks.
After the singing concluded, Caleb’s father, who was a frequent preacher, gave the sermon.
Joanna’s mind wandered. He read Ecclesiastes 4:10 in German.
For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
Her mind wandered again. It seemed like in no time, Caleb’s father was ending the sermon with a verse from Proverbs.
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Did Adam love her? The thought startled her. Nee. Despite the kiss, she couldn’t assume that.
After the sermon, Daniel walked to the front and said, “We have some church business to deal with.”
Joanna braced herself and stared straight ahead.
“Jacob Byer and Miriam Troyer, come forward.” Perhaps they had come in late or maybe even just arrived.
Jacob kept his head up and shoulders squared while Miriam mostly looked at the floor as they walked toward the front bench. Joanna had never seen her look so broken. They sat in front of Daniel.
Daniel clasped his hands and said, “As you know, Jacob and Miriam have asked permission to marry, which I announced two weeks ago. But in an ongoing conversation, it came to light that they have not been free of sin. They’ve confessed to God but wanted to come forward to confess in front of the church today.
They will be put out of the church for six weeks and then returned to our community. ”
Joanna stared at the back of Jacob’s head, which he held high.
“If anyone has any concerns, please speak with me,” Daniel said. “Otherwise Jacob and Miriam will be married in October.”
Joanna’s eyes flitted to Miriam. Her head was bowed.
As the service ended, Joanna felt eyes on her. She moved along through the shed door with the other young women, holding her head up high. Once she was outside, Adam stepped to her side and whispered, “Do you want to go home?”
“Nee,” she answered. She had nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, there was something she needed to do.
She headed to the driveway. Jacob was untying his horse from the hitching post, but Miriam wasn’t with him. Joanna glanced toward the house. Miriam was sitting on the bench under the willow tree.
As Joanna started toward her, Miriam patted the bench and said, “Come sit.”
Joanna did, saying, “I need to know if you’re all right.”
Miriam crossed her arms, cupping her elbows. “Jah.”
“Joanna, what are you doing?” Jacob called out from his buggy, which was parked at the end of the walkway to the kitchen.
She waved her hand at him, as if dismissing him, a gesture she’d seen Becky do a hundred times.
“I’m all right,” Miriam said. “But I appreciate you checking.”
Joanna gave Miriam a nod. “Remember, you can still change your mind.” She gave Miriam a sympathetic smile. “Just do it soon.”
Then she stood. Adam waited at the edge of the lawn. He gave her a nod. Had he been ready to step in and help, if needed, once again?
He asked, “Everything all right?”
She nodded and said, “Jah.” And she meant it, at least for herself.
Later in the afternoon, Joanna told Mammi Lu she was going to go over to Mammi Rhoda and Dawdi Hiram’s house with a plate of peanut butter cookies she’d baked the evening before. “Would you like to go with me?”
Mammi Lu shook her head. “You go along. I think I’ll rest for a while and cool down.” The weather had turned humid and a storm threatened.
When Joanna arrived, Mammi Rhoda sat on the porch. She stood as Joanna climbed out of the buggy. “Joanna!” Mammi Rhoda called out. “What a pleasant surprise.” She sounded genuinely happy to see her.
Joanna waved, tied the reins to the hitching post, and then grabbed the plate. As she walked toward the porch, Mammi Rhoda asked, her voice full of concern, “How are you?”
“Gut.”
Mammi Rhoda pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose. “Really?”
“Really.” She meant it. “I brought you and Dawdi Hiram cookies.”
“Denki.” Mammi Rhoda leaned against the railing. “Dawdi’s napping. I’d wake him except he didn’t sleep well last night. It’s hard to cool this little cottage off.”
“Do you have a fan?”
Mammi Rhoda shook her head.
“I’ll pick up a battery-operated one for you. That might help.”
“Denki.” Mammi Rhoda gestured toward the chairs. “Sit. I’ll go get some iced tea.”
“Nee.” Joanna put the cookies down on the little table. “You sit. I’ll go get the tea.”
A few minutes later, each ate a cookie while Joanna tried to think of a safe topic of conversation. Just as she swallowed her last bite, Mammi Rhoda said, “I need to apologize.”
Joanna choked a little and began to cough. “Sorry.” She took a long drink of her iced tea.
Mammi Rhoda laughed, a little ruefully. “Jah, I’m not known for my apologies.”
Joanna touched her throat. “It was the cookie.” But then she laughed too.
“I have a long list of things I need to address. You know, life doesn’t always turn out the way we think it will. But specifically, I want to apologize to you for not spending more time with you when you were little.”
Dumbfounded, Joanna wasn’t sure what to say. So she said nothing.
“I had all that time to develop a relationship with you, but I squandered it. Now here you are a grown woman—” Her voice faltered a little. “I regret that now.”
In her shock, it took Joanna a moment to find her voice.
“I appreciate your apology. I wish I’d had more of a relationship with you as a child, but we’re here, both in Strasburg Township.
I don’t plan on going anywhere.” She smiled at the realization.
Jacob cheating on her and rejecting her would not make her abandon a life she valued in a place she loved.
“We have time now to make up for the past.”
Mammi Rhoda turned toward Joanna. Tears filled her faded brown eyes, amplified by her glasses. “Denki. I’d like nothing more than that. I’ll never be the grandmother Lu is to you, but I promise to do my best.”
“Ach,” Joanna said. “Every relationship is different. It’s best to focus on what we have, or can have. And the present.”
“Denki for being forgiving.” Mammi Rhoda took off her glasses and then dabbed at her eyes with her apron. “And for the good advice.”