Chapter 32 Enzo
THIRTY-TWO
ENZO
Istared down at Dominic De Santis in bed with Rosalie. She was curled against his body, dried tears on her face. His arm was wrapped tightly around her.
“That’s fucked,” Cole muttered, coming to stand next to me.
I said nothing.
I felt… nothing.
Cole reached out to wake them, but I grabbed his arm. He looked over at me, his blue eyes filled with confusion.
“Leave them,” I whispered.
“He’s fucking canoodling our girl—”
“Leave them,” I repeated.
Cole visibly swallowed before following me out of her bedroom. I hadn’t even wanted to go in there to start with. I hated looking at her. She was wasting away. She looked sick.
She’d been shot, for sure, but losing Fox and E was killing her slowly.
And it was all my fault.
This guilt was consuming me. I was hitting dead ends on repeat. There was just nothing. No rumors. No gloating. Just silence. Just the painful, gut-wrenching unknown.
And Fox’s words on repeat in my head.
“One of us is going to get hurt or worse. Then what? Will it have been worth the climb?”
I went straight to my bedroom and grabbed clean clothes out of my dresser before going to my shower.
My plan was to clean up a little and go back out.
It had been my routine as of late. I really didn’t sleep.
My eyes were rimmed in black, and I was losing my mind from the stress, grief, and everything rolled into one.
I hadn’t had a moment to cope with my parents’ deaths. With Rosalie. With Fox and E. Nothing.
It had been non-stop violence for weeks now, with no end in sight.
I punched the tiles, busting open my knuckles as I let out a choked sob.
What the FUCK?
I punched the tiles over and over, tears rolling down my cheeks, the water red from all the fucking blood I had on me. My own mingled with it and swirled down the drain.
Warm arms encircled me.
“Come here, brother,” Cole murmured.
I collapsed against him, weeping.
“Let it out. Fucking let it all out. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
I buried my face in his neck, my arms wound tightly around him as he held me.
“It’s going to be OK,” Cole continued softly. “It will be. It has to be. I promise, man. Keep it together for just a little bit longer. For Fox. For E. For our girl.”
My body shook as I continued to cry.
“Let’s get you cleaned up. Get some food—”
I crushed my mouth to his, silencing him.
He froze beneath my lips, but it was just as well. I broke off the kiss and grasped either side of his face with both hands.
“We-We have to let her go—”
“You need to sleep,” Cole whispered, his voice wavering. “You’re losing it, Enzo.”
“Kill me,” I whimpered.
He widened his eyes at me as I continued to hold his face.
“Fucking kill me. This is all my fault. Please. Just end it. I can’t even look at her. Fox told me this would happen. I didn’t listen to him. I can’t. I just fucking can’t, man. I’m weak. I’m so fucking weak.” My voice cracked as I sobbed loudly.
Cole was quiet for a long time before he finally cleared his throat.
“You’re not weak. You’re hurting. We all are. You’re doing what you can with what you have. You can’t fucking quit on me. You’re all I fucking have. Even our fucking girl is snuggled up next to someone else. I swear to god, Enzo—”
“We can go together,” I choked out. “With Rosalie. Meet Fox and E on the other side. Rosalie needs Fox. I ruined everything. I have to fix it. I-I’ll do it. I’ll go upstairs right now and do it—”
“Stop. STOP!” Cole shook me roughly. “Don’t you even fucking think about doing something so fucking idiotic. Do you hear me? I swear to god, Enzo, if you touch one fucking hair on her head, I’ll send you to hell. Alone. Is that what you fucking want? An eternity alone?”
I wept, shaking my head. “No. No, I-I want my family back. I want a redo button. I’d do so many things differently.”
“You don’t get a redo, brother. You get a keep fucking going button. I urge you to use it.” He released me and stepped out of the shower, leaving me alone, my guts churning at the complete lunacy I’d just been brave enough to utter.
I slid to my ass and sobbed, my head in my hands.
Everything was fucked. So fucked.
But one thing I knew. I would do what Fox wanted. Even if he and E came back, I’d do it.
Because he was right. He was always right.
I needed to let Rosalie go.