Chapter 39 Rosalie
THIRTY-NINE
ROSALIE
“Fox. FOX!” I cried out, snapping my eyes open, my sheets tangled around me. It had been four days.
Four long, terrible days.
I barely saw Cole and Enzo. Enzo had been with me the day after it happened, but I hadn’t seen him since. Cole, I saw yesterday.
It was Jamie and Colten who took care of me.
I was sure Colten was putting meds into my water because it tasted funny. Whenever I drank, I’d feel numb and sleepy before I could scream or cry.
That meant Cole or Enzo, maybe both, had left him instructions to do it. I was sure Dominic had been in and out, but my head was foggy and I wasn’t sure what was a dream and what wasn’t anymore.
And no Anson. Nothing. Radio silence.
My heart hurt. So fucking much.
I rolled out of bed and fell to the floor with a loud thump, my guts churning. I’d barely eaten, but that didn’t stop the nausea.
I managed to get to my feet and stumble into the bathroom, where I fell to my knees and threw up into the toilet. Very little came up, so my body went through the motions until I was weak and shaky. I flushed the toilet, my hands trembling.
I’d been throwing up a lot since Fox left me.
I grabbed one of the bottles of water that were now kept by the toilet and rinsed my mouth before resting my head on the toilet seat, my tears slipping from my eyes.
I must have fallen asleep that way because I woke to being lifted into strong arms.
I cracked my eyelids open to see Dominic carrying me.
“Dominic,” I whispered.
“Shh,” he answered gently, taking me back to bed. “You’re not well.”
He didn’t need to tell me. I knew I wasn’t.
He placed me in bed. The sheets were clean. I could smell the fabric softener on them.
Fox used to change my sheets for me when I’d go to class. It was just one of the many sweet things he’d do for me.
Tears trickled down my cheeks as I thought of him.
Dominic slid into bed next to me and turned to face me as I curled on my side.
I stared into his green eyes.
“You look like him,” I whispered. “Except your eyes. His were blue, and yours are green.”
He winced. “Family,” he said softly.
I nodded, my throat tight.
“You’ve been out of it for days,” he continued. “The funeral is on Friday. His dad insisted on having it Enzo said.”
Kurt would want Fox to have a service. I knew he would.
“I-I can’t go. I can’t see him like this. I-I can’t—” I could feel my panic rising.
“Shh, shh, shh.” Dominic reached out and cradled my cheek. “One day at a time, Rosalie. One day, OK? Let’s get through today first. Can you do that for me?”
I couldn’t breathe. There was no way. No way.
Dominic, sensing my panic attack, dragged me against him and held me tightly.
“Let it out. It’s OK. Let it all out,” he murmured as I shook and cried in his arms. “It’s going to be OK. I promise. I promise.”
The panic flowed through me.
How would I ever feel again? How would I live without my Foxy? Was there a life worth living? Cole and Enzo weren’t around. They weren’t here for me. Ethan… God, Ethan. I had no idea what horrors awaited with his new trauma.
Everything crumbled around me as more thoughts flooded my mind.
No more late-night bubble baths. No more stories. No more soft laughter as we lay in bed together, reminiscing about growing up with one another. No more songs together. Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
NOTHING.
I screamed out Fox’s name on repeat until my voice broke and I had no more energy.
And Dominic stayed.
He held me.
Promised I’d be OK even though I felt like I never would.
“Rest, sweet Rose,” he murmured, stroking my hair. “It’s OK. I promise it’ll be OK.”
I believed him.
I had no other choice but to, even if my heart was screaming that it was all a damn lie.