Chapter 95
NINETY-FIVE
ETHAN
It had been a week since we’d met with the kings in our apartment. We still had no fucking leads. Everything was radio silence.
I’d overheard Cole and Enzo discussing that this is precisely how it was when Fox and I had gone missing. It made me sick to my stomach.
It also created a fuck ton of anxiety. I hadn’t been sober in weeks. Having the thoughts that Rosalie was likely being tortured made me sick. I wasn’t sure how much I could endure. I’d been trying to get my shit together, but it seemed like the universe was working against me.
I walked out to the living room and saw Enzo and Cole seated. They went quiet as I stepped into the room.
“What?” I asked tiredly.
“We should talk,” Enzo said, sitting forward in the chair he was in.
Immediately, my heart pounded. “I-Is it Rosalie? D-Did you find her?”
“No. No, it’s not that. We still have fuck all,” Enzo said, sighing. “It’s the baby.”
I sat, my heart thrumming harder. “What about it?”
“I took Celeste to the doctor today. We know the sex of it. Do you want to know?” Enzo asked gently.
I swallowed hard, my bottom lip trembling. “No.”
“E, man,” Cole started.
“I don’t fucking want to know. I don’t even fucking want it.
I never wanted it. I don’t want fucking kids, especially with that cunt!
” My voice rose with each word. “Fuck her! Fuck her! I hate her. I fucking hate her! And I hate that-that baby.” My voice cracked, and a sob broke free as I hugged myself and rocked.
“Ruined my fucking life. All of it. I wish I were dead. Fuck. Please. I want to die.”
Enzo went to his knees in front of me. “E. Hey.”
“Please. Kill me. Fucking kill me. I’m so miserable.
I-I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to die.
I want to die. I wish it were me and not Fox.
Fuck. Please, kill me. Please,” I rasped, rocking faster.
“I don’t want to be a father. I-I don’t want a baby.
It should be my sweetheart, not her. Not fucking her.
She stole it from me. She took it, and they still killed Fox!
They lied. They fucking lied to me.” I sobbed so hard I couldn’t breathe.
Good. I hope it fucking killed me.
“Want me to put him down?” Cole asked through the hysteria.
“No,” Enzo answered. He reached for me, his hands on my face. I tried to jerk away. I rarely let them touch me. Now wasn’t the time I wanted human contact.
I fought against him, but he was relentless. Finally, I gave in and collapsed against him, my fingers twisted in his shirt.
“K-Kill me, brother. Please. I’m begging you to e-end my misery.”
“Never,” Enzo said fiercely as he held me tight. He kissed the top of my head. “I love you, E. I will save you. Believe that. Life is going to get better. I swear it. I fucking swear it.”
I didn’t believe that for a second. We’d lost everything.
“You can’t be drugged to deal with things.
We have to get you clean. You’re barely functioning.
This is something we should have sorted out a long time ago.
You’re getting worse. We love you, Ethan.
We fucking do. We need you to get better so you can have the life you deserve.
When Rosalie comes back to us, we need you healed.
For her. Please. I’m begging you to do this, if not for her, for you.
You deserve to be happy. You fucking deserve it more than anyone else in this world.
” He sobbed softly. “I love you. Please, E. Don’t leave us.
Keep fighting. You deserve a happily ever after. ”
I cried with him.
Cole joined us, his arms around us both as he let out a choked sob.
“I’ll take care of everything. I’ll keep doing it. If Rosalie has to hate me so you can live, I will do it for you. I will do anything for you,” Enzo continued. “I owe you everything. It’s yours. All of it. Just please keep fighting. Can you do that for us, E?”
“Y-Yes. I-I can,” I husked out, clinging to him. “I can. I will.”
We stayed that way for a long time before I was calm enough to breathe properly. My body relaxed, and I wiped at my eyes.
“I’m sorry. For everything,” I said. “I am going to work on my shit. I-It’s so hard when these memories won’t go away. Whenever I look at myself, I want to vomit.”
“You’re beautiful,” Cole said fiercely. “E. Don’t ever think you’re not.”
I wiped at my eyes. “I-I know how I-I look down there…” my voice trembled as disgust rolled through me. “H-He wanted to castrate me. I have so many scars. Bite marks. It’s disgusting.”
“He is a fucking monster who will get his,” Enzo said fiercely. “He will. Once we find his ass, you can have your turn on him.”
I nodded, my throat tight.
“We could all jerk off together,” Cole suggested brightly.
I snorted through my tears at him as Enzo let out a sigh.
“Hey, I’m not being a perv, but hear me out.
We bonded a long time ago fucking around with girls together.
We’ve gotten off in front of each other loads of times.
I think this will be good for all of us.
It’s not like any of us are getting laid either.
It’ll get you used to being in a safe space with people who love you in that sort of intimate setting. ”
I wiped at my eyes again. “I-I don’t want you guys to see me—”
“We don’t have to,” Cole cut in. “You can sit over there with a blanket over your junk if it’ll help. I think integrating us again will be a good thing.”
“You just need to get off,” Enzo muttered. “Horny fuck.”
“I was with Rosalie last. I-I don’t feel right about what I did, OK?” Cole’s voice was soft. “I fucking don’t. I wish I hadn’t done it. She-She probably hates me even more now. She already believes I-I cheated—” He broke his sentence off and looked away, a muscle thrumming along his jaw.
“It’s because of me. Had this not happened, you guys wouldn’t have lost her. It’s my fault.”
“It’s not,” Enzo said firmly. “It’s fucking not, E. It’s the assholes who took you. It’s my fault for not listening. It’s never going to be your fault. Ever. I never want to hear you say that shit again. Understand?”
I stared into his dark eyes, my heart hurting, before I nodded weakly.
“Cole and I agreed to do this,” Enzo continued.
“We knew how it would look. What would happen. We accepted that. We did this for us, for you. We did it because we chose to. We could have just told Rosalie everything, but we knew what it meant to you. How you needed to heal from this nightmare. And we would keep doing it for you. We’re family. ”
“She is family, and we let her down. I let her down by being too afraid…” I swallowed. “She has to be so afraid right now.”
“She is fucking strong,” Cole said, his blue eyes glinting. “She is. She’s been through so much. You know she can make it through whatever is going on now.”
I nodded. “She is. She’s a sweetheart, though, and if Everett has her… Fuck. We have to find her.”
“We will, E,” Enzo murmured. “Our men are out as we speak, looking. Dom has his guys on it. Matteo does too. And Klaus and Anson.” His voice trailed off.
“They love her,” I said. “Klaus and Anson. Did you see the way Klaus looked that day? He fucking loves her like Anson does. Like we do.”
“Fuck them both,” Cole grumbled, pulling his dick out and stroking it. “She’s ours. We’re getting her back. Now get your cocks out so we can come and clear our heads. I think better once I come.”
I glanced to see what Enzo would do. He sighed, moved to sit next to Cole, and unzipped his pants.
I swallowed and scooted to the L of the wraparound, needing space. With a soft breath and shaky hands, I pulled my dick out and stroked it. I hadn’t gotten off in…
Since they got me off in the underground
Fuck.
Nausea twisted low in my guts as my breathing picked up. I didn’t notice Cole until he was sitting next to me, his thigh against mine.
“Trust me?” he asked softly.
I exhaled and nodded. I needed to trust someone.
He reached out and grasped my cock and stroked me gently.
“Close your eyes,” he murmured. “Happy place, E. Let me handle this.”
I closed my eyes, envisioning Rosalie in my arms. Kissing me. Whispering to me how much she loved me.
She was my happy place.
“There you go,” Cole continued softly. “Stay right there in your happy place.”
I relaxed against the cushions as he continued to work me over. It felt good. So fucking good.
“Help me,” Cole continued, letting his hand fall away.
I fisted my dick and stroked, shaking.
“Cole,” I choked out, squeezing my eyelids closed tighter. “I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared.”
“It’s OK. I’m here.” He wrapped his hand around mine and kept me going. “What are you afraid of?”
“I-I don’t know.”
“Keep going. I’m with you. Do you remember that day Rosalie wore that pretty lavender dress and sucked you off in the backseat of my car while I drove us to classes last year?”
I groaned softly, that memory in the forefront of my mind. It was one of my favorites.
“Remember how I told her to ride you? She was so nervous, but she straddled your lap and fucked you as I drove.”
I jerked myself faster, remembering how she moaned against my lips, so nervous. I told her to be brave. I’d been scared, too, though. I didn’t want anyone to see us fucking in the car, but I’d wanted her so badly that it trumped that fear.
She didn’t know I was scared. It was my secret. So I’d fucked deep into her pussy, making her come all over me.
And I’d come inside her too.
I groaned, my release spilling from my cock like a tidal wave. The pleasure was indescribable as it rolled through my body, making me shake.
Then, I was crying, sobbing her name.
“Rosalie. Sweetheart,” I wept. “I’m sorry. Fuck. I’m so sorry.”
“Shh. It’s OK. It’s OK.” Cole hugged me against him. “She’s coming home, man. She is.”
“Promise?” I asked, weeping softly.
“Swear it. And if not, we’ll go to her. If it’s in heaven, so be it,” Cole whispered fiercely into my ear. “I will bring her back, E. I fucking will.”
I believed him, and it offered me some relief to know I could leave this world and go to her if she were gone already.
Enzo slid onto my other side and kissed my temple.
“If she’s gone forever, we’ll go to her,” he said, kissing my temple again. “Together, brother. Fuck this place.”
I smiled at that.
Yeah, fuck this place.