Chapter 7 We Hate Jace For No Fucking Reason Club
CHAPTER 7: WE HATE JACE FOR NO FUCKING REASON CLUB
JACE
“ H ey, Dad,” I say, walking toward where he stands, unloading a backpack from the trunk of his car.
“Hey, kid.” He wraps me up in a big hug and kisses my cheek. “Ready to hike?”
“Yeah.” Bending down, I tug on the laces of my hiking boots making them a little tighter. “You’ve been here before?” He nods and I look around and see a dozen groups of people spread around the parking lot. Most of the groups are young couples. Some of the men have toddlers on their shoulders. A few even brought their dogs.
There’s a tug at my heart, but I ignore it.
“Is it usually this busy on a weekday?”
“Hawk Landing is popular, but it seems everyone had the same idea we had today,” he chuckles. “It’s a pretty day for a hike with your old man.”
“Definitely.” I stand to meet him.
“What’s on your mind?” he asks. “You seem a bit distracted.”
“Work.”
“Miss it that much?” His voice is low, as we begin to walk toward the trailhead. It’s no secret he wishes I would settle down and stay closer to home.
“I do, but I also think it’s been nice being home and around people I know.”
My dad laughs. “I thought you liked being alone all the time.”
“Very funny.” We move over to the right to let a man and his dog coming from the other direction pass by us. The golden retriever lunges in my direction, throwing itself on the ground and rolling to expose its belly. I bend down with a laugh and give it a few good scratches before the owner tugs him away.
“Before I forget to mention it, Joe called yesterday.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s he up to?”
“He needs help tearing down an old barn. Apparently, he reached out to Archie, but he’s not giving him a firm answer. You think you could drive up there and help him with it?”
“When?” I ask through gritted teeth. Joe is my dad’s older brother and the family nut. After his divorce, he moved to South Carolina and lives in the middle of nowhere. I’m pretty sure he spends most of his time preparing for the zombie apocalypse or searching for UFOs. Archie is his only son and while we were always close, he and his dad don’t get along.
“He seemed flexible. Just give him a call. It would mean a lot to me. I’d help, but this sounds like a young man’s job.”
“Of course.”
“Thank you. So, what else is new with you, kid?”
“Not a whole lot. Enjoying the break from work and being home. Actually, do you remember Lacey Sims?”
“Remember her? You two were inseparable. It’s hard to forget the kid who practically lived at your house for nearly two decades.” He shakes his head.
“Yeah, so anyway. You remember my friend Logan, right?”
“Is he the one with glasses or the one with the hair that’s too long?”
“The glasses.” He nods. “He’s dating Poppy Collins, so I ran into her and Lacey a little over a week ago.”
“I see the girls and their parents from time to time, but you know it was never the same once your mom passed and I moved. She was the glue that held us all together.”
“I didn’t realize you had seen her.”
He’s quiet for a moment.
“Dad? When did you see Lacey and Poppy?”
“Oh, you know, around. It’s not a very big town, Jace.” I wonder why he’s just now mentioning this to me. I mean I’ve never asked, but you would think if he ran into them he would have brought it up when I visited or called. Then again, the few times my parents tried to talk to me about her, I told them I didn’t want to. It was too painful and I couldn’t bear hearing how happy she was when I felt so miserable.
“Were they happy to see you?” He smiles, causing the corners of his eyes to crease.
“Well, not exactly.” I shake my head and take a deep breath. “Actually, they both seem to still want nothing to do with me.” I chuckle, and step over a large root in the ground.
“I never understood what happened between you three. You know, your mom always thought you and Lacey would end up together even after all that mess. She used to go on and on about how some people were just destined to be together.”
My heart clenches. A distant memory of my mom reminding me everyone has a soulmate and Lacey was mine plays in my head. I shake it away.
“Any chance she has something to do with all the thoughts about work and the future this morning?” he asks.
“I don’t know. I mean, no. Of course she doesn’t. We were together a long time ago.” Her green eyes flash in my mind and I quickly try to push them away. “I feel like I’ve worked so hard to reach my goal and I did it. I guess it has me thinking, what now? I love being a photojournalist, but I’m tired of not sleeping in my bed every night. You know?”
“You’ve been running for a while. I wondered when you’d get tired.”
“Running?” I duck under a low limb and continue down the path. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“When you told your mom and me you were going to pursue environmental biology and photography at Georgetown, I was incredibly proud of you. We both were, but your mom always wondered—and I guess I did, too—if you pursued it so you didn’t have to come back and face reality here. So you didn’t have to face Lacey.”
“No, I pursued Georgetown because it was a phenomenal opportunity and without it I wouldn’t have been as successful as I’ve been with my career in the last six years.” My gut tightens as the half lie slips out so easily. While Georgetown was a phenomenal opportunity, I decided to pursue it the night of Lacey’s graduation party.
“And then we lost your mom five years ago,” his voice cracks. “And even though you have the apartment, you never come home.”
“That’s not true,” I snap. “I’m home now, aren’t I?”
My dad stops walking. “I’m not trying to fight with you. That’s not what I’m saying. It feels like you could have gone to school anywhere. You could have chosen to photograph anything and you chose to photograph birds in the middle of the Amazon.”
“Those birds aren’t just any birds.”
“I know and I’m very proud of you. You were the one who said you were tired. I know you love your job. I have accepted that I only get to see you once in a blue moon, but maybe you’re feeling tired because it’s time for something different. It’s okay to not want to do what you’ve been doing. It’s okay to want a change.”
The problem is my dad isn’t wrong. I have spent the last ten years avoiding this place. After my mom died, I tried to come home more for my dad’s sake, but even those visits were few and far between. Too much pain and heartbreak woven into every corner.
“I’ve made you mad and it wasn’t my intention,” he says.
“No, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I want these days. I love my job, but it’s becoming apparent I’ll never have that,” I gesture toward a man and woman holding hands and walking ahead of us, “if I decide to continue.”
“And that’s something you want?”
“With the right person, yes. And before you say something, I don’t mean Lacey.”
He smiles and lets out a chuckle.
“Maybe do some research. You’re good at that. See what jobs are out there. You might be surprised by what you find.”
“I don’t want you to get your hopes up. There might be nothing.”
“I know. Selfishly, I love that you’re even considering being home more, but as your dad I know I can’t make you stay. Trust yourself. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.” He pats me across the shoulders.
We continue along the trail for a while longer in silence. The trees are lush with green summer leaves. It’s warm today despite the time and tree cover. Birds chirp and water rushes in the distance. I pause occasionally to take photos of some of the flora and fauna. We pass over small creeks and rocky paths. It’s not a super difficult hike, but a moderate one. The ground is covered with enough roots you have to pay attention to where you’re stepping.
“Do you think you’ll ever settle down again?” I ask.
“Me? I don’t know. Your mom was the center of my universe. I don’t know if I ever could. I’d feel like I was cheating.”
“She’d want you to be happy,” I say.
“She’d want you to be happy too.” My chest tightens and I run my hand over the tattoo on my left forearm. It’s hard to be happy when the one person, who made you the happiest you’ve ever been, wants nothing to do with you.
“I was thinking about going to stop by the cemetery when we’re done here. You want to come?” he asks, his eyes full of hope that I might actually take him up on his offer.
“Oh man, I would, but I have plans. Let’s do it another day?”
“Yeah, okay. Another day.” His face falls into a frown and guilt consumes me.
“We’ll have a beer tower, a large cheese pizza with extra cheese, and an extra large Bruno’s special,” Tanner orders for our table. The waitress smiles, grabs our menus, and walks away towards another table.
“Would you look at her ass?” Tanner says, slapping my arm with the back of his hand and biting down on his knuckle. He leans back, keeping his eye on our waitress’s swaying hips, and almost flips his chair.
“I see you haven’t changed a bit since I’ve been gone.”
“Not in the slightest,” Enzo adds.
“So, how long are you hanging around for this time, Jacks?” Donovan asks.
“I’m not sure.”
The waitress places the beer tower and four glasses in the center of the table. It’s ninety-six ounces of amber liquid and it looks fucking obnoxious.
“Thanks, beautiful,” Tanner says with a wink.
She rolls her eyes and walks away.
“Down boy,” Enzo quips. He grabs the glasses and starts to fill each one to the brim, passing one to each of us as he finishes.
“You suddenly wouldn’t be unsure because of Lacey, would you?” Tanner asks.
“No. What would she have to do with anything?”
“Someone’s defensive,” Donovan laughs.
“No. It’s just she made her decision ten years ago, my plans don’t have anything to do with her. If you must know, I’m considering jobs near or around Atlanta.”
“I thought you loved your job?” Tanner finishes his beer and begins to fill his glass again.
“I do, but I’m all my dad has. He’s getting older and I can’t be here for him if I’m in the middle of the Amazon rainforest or the Sahara desert.” Thoughts about my mom flood my brain and I try to shake them away, but it’s no use. I swallow down the guilt that follows.
The waitress returns with two large pies and places them in front of us.
Tanner grabs a slice and impulsively stuffs it into his mouth, “Oh, fuck, fuck, fu—” He spits the bite of pizza onto his plate. “Fuck, that’s hot as shit.” He grabs his beer and finishes it in three large gulps. “Shit, I think I burnt the roof of my mouth off.”
“It’s hot,” the waitress deadpans before walking away again. Donovan, Enzo, and I burst out laughing. Tanner scowls.
I take a swig of my beer and place a slice piled high with sausage, bacon, pepperoni, and pickled jalapenos on my plate.
“So, what would you do instead?” Tanner asks, after he recovers.
“I actually found a cool one this afternoon. The Center for North American Wildlife Conservation is in Atlanta. They’re looking for a director of photojournalism.”
“You? In an office? Having to interact with people? On a daily basis?” Tanner gasps dramatically.
“I’m not a complete loner. I put up with you three and Logan, don’t I?”
“Speaking of. Where is Logan tonight? Too in love to leave Poppy for one evening?” Donovan asks, grabbing a slice of pizza.
“Not sure. He said he couldn’t make it,” Tanner says. He glances in my direction and by the look on his face I can tell he’s probably thinking the same thing I am.
I take a long sip of my beer trying to hide how his absence makes me feel. Logan is one of my best friends and while I’m happy for him and Poppy, it feels pretty shitty that he’s barely spoken to me since I got back. I don’t know what the girls told him, but given he’s dating the vice president of the We Hate Jace For No Fucking Reason Club , it’s clear he’s probably joined the club too.
“For the record, you’re gone so often that I’d say you barely have to put up with us,” Tanner jabs, changing the subject. I offer him a thankful smile.
“Yeah, I thought the big perk of your job was you getting to be alone in the woods. You really want to give that up?” Donovan asks.
“What exactly do you think I do for a living?” I chuckle. “I’m not hiking into the middle of the Amazon alone. I like adventure, but I’m not an idiot.”
“I’m just saying The Amazon Rainforest and an office in Atlanta are two very different places,” Donovan explains.
“I’d still get to do the parts of my job I enjoy, but it would be on a smaller scale.”
“Interesting,” Enzo says. He squints his eyes in my direction like he’s studying me and it makes me feel a little uneasy.
“What? You don’t think I’m capable of a job like that?” I laugh.
“No, that’s not what we’re saying. You’re the smartest guy we know and after the last year you’ve had they would be lucky to have you. Just want to make sure it’s what you truly want,” Donovan says.
“How’s the wedding planning coming?” I ask, suddenly tired of everyone’s attention being on me.
“It’s going to be magical.” Donovan grabs Enzo’s hand and looks lovingly at his fiancé.
“Who’s shooting it?”
“Forever Yours Photography. We had asked Logan and T about you doing it, but we were unsure when you’d be back.”
“You don’t want me shooting your wedding.” I take a swig of my beer. “I can photograph elusive wildlife all day, but people, y’all know that’s not my thing.”
“That’s what I said,” Tanner says, slapping me across the back.
“I’m happy to be a guest.”
“So, if you do apply for this job, does that mean you would be looking for a more permanent place than y’all’s bachelor pad?” Donovan asks.
“Always working aren’t you,” I laugh.
“Hey, I’m just saying if you take a job in Atlanta, you might want a house and if you do, I’m your guy,” Donovan chuckles.
“You will be the first realtor I call.” I take another bite of pizza. “Don’t hold your breath though. I said I was considering it. I haven’t applied for anything yet.”