Chapter 34 I Was There
CHAPTER 34: I WAS THERE
JACE - PRESENT
I make it upstairs to the room I’m sharing with Tanner. I’m trying to slow my breathing, but all of the emotions of losing my mom are bubbling to the surface. Five years ago that song played as our friends and family gathered to honor the life of the greatest woman I’ve ever known.
“Jace, wait. Are you okay?” Lacey asks from the door.
I flip around to face her. My eyes are full of tears. “How did you know to tell him to turn it off?”
There’s a beat of silence.
“Can you please explain to me how you knew that song would upset me?” I sound breathless.
“Because I was there.”
I start to pace. “You were there?”
“Of course I was.” Her voice is low and tentative.
“No.” I shake my head. “No, I looked for you that day. Fuck, you were the only person I wanted to see and you didn’t come. I’m sure of it. You weren’t there.” I sit down on the edge of the bed. My head falls into my hands. She moves across the room to join me.
“Poppy and I both came. I was devastated, J.”
The words fall out of her mouth and I don’t believe what I’m hearing.
“You know Annie meant so much to me,” she says. “The day of her funeral I was there, but Poppy and I had run to the bathroom before things got started. There was this beautiful brunette at the mirror. When she left the bathroom I heard you and her talking in the hall and I panicked. I wasn’t sure you wanted me there and I didn’t know how to face you, so I stayed in the bathroom until it was over. I hid and I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry she’s gone. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m so sorry for everything.”
Tears stream down her face and my hands find her cheeks. My thumbs swipe softly under her eyes, clearing away the tears. I wrap my arms around her and pull her into me and we both begin to cry harder.
“I can’t believe it’s been five years,” I say through sobs. Her arms wrap around my neck and she pulls me in firmly against her.
“I know. I wish I could go back and change it all. I wish I could have been there for you. I’m so incredibly sorry.”
We sit there for a few long minutes and hold each other. Five years too late. Neither of us try to break our embrace. I’m not even sure what we’re grieving. Losing my mom or losing each other.
I hear someone clear their throat near the door and Lacey pulls away. I turn and see Chris standing there watching us. His face is covered with confusion. Or is it frustration? I quickly try to wipe my face with the back of my hands. She puts more space in between us, wiping away her tears.
My eyes find hers and that’s when I hear Chris mumble something under his breath and walk away.
“I’m so sorry, J.” She stands, and follows him back to their bedroom.
LACEY
“What the hell was that?” Chris asks when I walk into our room, still wiping my face.
“It was the song that played at his mom’s funeral.”
He lets out a harsh breath and crosses his arms across his chest. “What the hell am I supposed to do with that?”
“What do you mean?” I stand there a little stunned that he’s so mad.
“I agreed to come this weekend with you knowing he’d be here. Knowing he likes you. And then you follow him upstairs and I walk in to find you practically sitting on his lap.”
“I wasn’t on his lap.”
“You might as well have been.”
“No, I followed my friend upstairs because I knew hearing that song would be hard for him. Hell, it was hard for me to hear. Hearing it brought up all the emotions associated with her death. I was comforting my friend.”
He scoffs.
“Don’t scoff at me. I loved Annie.”
He scoffs again.
“I think you should leave,” I say, my voice firm.
“What?”
“I said I think you should leave. This isn’t working anymore.”
“And why do you think that is?”
“Maybe because we have now slept in the same bed twice and you haven’t even tried to touch me. Not even grazed my toes with yours. What kind of man doesn’t want to touch the girl he’s dating?” I can hear my voice getting louder, but I don’t care. “You’ve barely paid me any attention since the trivia night. I honestly don’t even know why you agreed to come.”
“You know, I’m beginning to wonder the same thing. God, you couldn’t even hide staring at him tonight on the boat. I might as well have been invisible.”
“That’s not true, I tried to snuggle up to you and you pushed me away.”
“Please lower your voice. You’re causing a scene.”
“No, I’m not going to lower my voice to make you more comfortable. You’re trying to put this all on me, but I think you know this isn’t working anymore for you either. We don’t have anything in common. You find my personality over the top and my interests silly. And I find you boring and rigid.”
He walks over and grabs his duffel bag, throwing it on the bed. “So you’re ending things with me, so you can go be with him.”
“Where did you get that from anything I just said?” I let out a loud breath and walk into the bathroom slamming the door behind me. Gripping the edge of the counter, I take a few deep breaths and try to compose myself. I stare into the mirror trying to collect my thoughts. If he can’t understand why I would want to be there for my friend then he needs to leave. I’m not going to quiet myself for him. He shouldn’t have come. I don’t know what I was thinking.
I walk back out of the bathroom and he’s zipping up his bag, grumbling something to himself.
“The Uber will be here in twenty minutes. I’ll get out of your hair, so you can go fuck your teenage crush.” He throws the duffel bag over his shoulder as he walks out the door.
I follow him, yelling, “fuck you” as he descends the stairs. I turn on my heels and head back into the bedroom slamming the door behind me. I collapse on the bed and grab a pillow. Covering my face I silently scream. What a douchebag.
The worst part is that he isn’t even completely wrong. I couldn’t take my eyes off Jace tonight. The world could have been burning down around me and I couldn’t look away. Then that song played and my heart broke. I didn’t hesitate to follow him because I knew wherever he was going is where I needed to be.