Chapter 21 Just Be Fucking Cool
TANNER
Ican’t help but think about how easy it would be for me to buy Cody a new lift. I mean, I’m fit, but I don’t even think I could lift him multiple times a day, seven days a week, without it eventually taking a toll on my body. I’m not sure how her parents are managing.
Wren might be stubborn, but I have a sneaky suspicion that when it comes to Cody, she’d let down her walls. So, I make a mental note to ask Gray about the lift.
“Are your parents art collectors?” I ask, gesturing towards a painting of a house hanging on the wall.
The interior of their house is a bit eclectic, with mismatched furniture, handmade throws, lots of plants, and where there aren't family pictures hanging, there’s art. Some of the pieces are more traditional, like this one in the hall, but others are like the one in Cody’s room—whimsical and fun.
“If collecting my art makes them art collectors, then I guess you could call them that,” she says with a laugh.
“You painted that?” I ask.
“Yeah.” She shrugs. “I painted all of it.”
“You painted all of it? Even the superhero piece in Cody’s room?”
“Yep, that one is my favorite, and he obviously loves it too.” She checks the time on her phone. “Do you want to finish the movie? I’m sure my parents will be back soon.”
“Oh, um…sure.” I run my hands through my hair.
We walk back into the living room, and I take a moment to really look at the art.
Painted wildflowers, a beach scene, a portrait of her parents, and even a Christmas tree are all painted on various size canvases and hung around the house.
Each one is unique, and it’s clear she’s incredibly talented.
One catches my attention more than the others. It’s a small canvas, simple black and white. It’s of a girl curled up in the corner of a room crying. It’s heartbreakingly beautiful.
“I knew you said you painted, but I didn’t know you painted like this,” I point to the small canvas.
“It’s really just a hobby,” she says, sitting back on the couch. “That one I painted right after I started therapy. My therapist encouraged me to paint what I was feeling after Cody’s fall. It really helped me cope with everything.”
“You’re incredible.” The words tumble with honesty from my mouth. It’s safe to say I’m falling hard for her. Not only is she beautiful, but she’s kind, patient, funny, nurturing, loving, and smart. She is every good adjective there ever was, and I’m just me.
She swallows hard and sits in the recliner, so I take the couch.
It’s clear why someone like her could barely tolerate me for so long.
I used to think we could never be more because I’d fuck it up and risk damaging our friend group, but the reality is that she is so far out of my league we aren’t even in the same universe.
She deserves a smart, successful doctor—someone who has a job that helps people and knows her brother needs his chicken cut up.
Not the nepo baby who wishes he could own a bar and likes to party.
No, the best I’m going to be able to do is be her friend, and given how fast she moved away from the couch when our legs brushed earlier, I know she thinks it too. The realization hits me straight in the chest. She’s too good for me, and I wish so badly I could be the man she deserves.
“Is art something you get to do a lot in your job?” I ask.
“Not a lot,” she says, her face falling a little.
“But, as the activities director, I get to do all sorts of things with the residents who live there, and some of that is art.” There is no enthusiasm in her voice, no joy.
It’s such a stark difference to when she told me about the brain injury camps in the car.
“Do you like it?”
“Being the activities director?” She pulls her legs to her chest and covers herself with a chunky, crocheted quilt. “It pays the bills, and helps me save for what I really want to do, so I’m thankful to have a job.”
“You don’t have to be like that with me?”
“Like what?”
“You don’t have to pretend to like your job, or like you have everything together. We’re friends. If you hate your job, you can just say it.”
“Okay,” she hesitates. “I guess the truth is I don’t love it, and I wish there was a way I could make my dreams happen sooner.
Just not for me, but for my brother too.
But there isn’t, and as much as that sucks, I know I gotta keep pushing forward, and even if it takes me ten years, I’ll get there one day. ”
“You’re incredible.”
“You keep saying that.”
Her eyes shift to mine. The room is mostly dark, other than the glow from the TV and a couple of lamps.
“Well, it’s because you are.”
A small smile breaks across her face. “So if we’re being truthful…do you really want to be CEO of your family’s company?”
I let out a groan, sinking back into the couch, crossing my ankle over the opposite knee.
“No, I told you, so now you have to tell me,” she presses.
“I don’t know.”
“What does that mean?”
I pause for a moment, swallowing hard. “My whole life I’ve never been good enough for my dad.
He had this picture of what the perfect little family would be like—two kids, a boy and a girl.
They had my brother first, and Mitch is everything my dad could want in a son.
But, then they had me, and I messed up the little perfect family image they were going for.
So, they tried for a third baby until they got Bella, and of course she’s everything he ever wanted in a daughter.
I’ve just always wanted him to be proud of me being his son, and it’s never happened. ”
“Is that why you're working yourself to death for this job? Because you think that’ll make him proud?”
“Yes and no. When he found out Mitch was leaving, he was so pissed. I was planning on telling him that night that I was leaving Austere to buy the bar, but then Mitch and his wife, Farah, said they were moving, and everything went to shit. He told me Mitch was his only choice for CEO, and it hurt.”
Wren stands and moves over to the couch. She sits down in the other corner, pulling her legs to her chest.
“Go on,” she encourages, her eyes finding mine and putting me a little more at ease.
“I knew they hadn’t been including me in meetings, but something about him not even considering me when I’m a Mitchell too…
hurt. I challenged him on it, and then the next thing I knew, I was wrapped up in trying to become the next CEO.
” I shake my head. “I’m so out of my depth with it though, and he makes sure I remember that every chance he gets. ”
“Then buy the bar, and let your dad appoint someone else. It’s taken a lot of therapy for me to realize that, sometimes, you have to put yourself first. I still struggle with it, so I get it, but you should do the thing that makes you happy. ”
“If I leave now, it’ll be my fault that the company is no longer run by a Mitchell. I know it sounds dumb, but that’s all my great grandfather and my grandfather ever wanted. I always let people down, and I can’t do that this time.”
She begins to scoot toward me, and I feel my stomach flip with anticipation. Her eyes find mine again.
“What are you doing,” I ask.
“Moving closer to you because I want to make sure you hear me. Now give me your hand.”
My heart knocks against my ribcage, and it’s so loud I wouldn’t doubt if she could hear it too. She takes my hand in hers, and I do my best to play it cool, but fuck, it’s hard.
Breathe, man. This isn’t that big of a deal. It’s just your dream girl,who is also your friend, and she’s holding your hand. This is cool. You can be cool. JUST BE FUCKING COOL!
“You keep telling me I’m incredible, and I think you need to start telling yourself.
I’ve seen you with Jacks and Logan. Hell, you offered me the spare room for free and filled your apartment pantry with all my favorite snacks.
You’re an amazing friend, and we’re all so lucky to have you in our lives.
If your dad can’t see that, then it’s his loss.
You deserve to be happy, Tanner. We all do. ”
“Wren. Cody. We’re home,” her mom calls from the door. She releases my hand the minute she hears her name, and I start breathing again.
“We’re in here,” she yells, popping up from the couch.
Her parents walk into the living room, holding hands. “Thanks again for tonight, honey,” her mom says.
“Don’t mention it. We had fun. Right, T?”
“Oh, yeah. Cody’s awesome. Dinner was great, Charlotte. Thank you.”
“Oh, it was nothing.” Charlotte smiles. Her dad takes a seat in the recliner, and her mom sits in his lap.
“Here,” I offer, standing from the couch. “I can move so that one of you can sit.”
“No need,” she says, warmly. “We might be getting old, but I can still sit with my husband. You kids take the sofa.”
Wren and I both sit down.
“So, Tanner, what are your intentions with my daughter?” Paul asks.
Oh nothing, just to spend the rest of my life wishing I was the man she was meant to be with and that I was worthy of her love.
“Dad!” Wren practically shouts. “We’re just roommates. Can you please chill?”
He chuckles loudly. “I’m only joking, sweetheart,” he says, smiling in her direction. “But seriously, what are your intentions?” He turns back towards me.
“I promise I only have good intentions.” I laugh, putting my arms up in defense. He seems nice enough, but the look he’s throwing my way does scare me a little.
“And what do you do for a living?” he asks.
“Dad!” Wren turns her head towards me. “You don’t have to answer him. This isn’t an interrogation.”
“It’s fine,” I laugh. “I’m an executive vice president at Austere Development Group, so I manage the acquisition and development of properties around the Southeast.”
“Impressive. A job like that must bring in quite a bit of money, so why do you need a roommate?”
“Do not answer him,” Wren says.