Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
T hat night, with a lot on her mind, Ava turned in early.
She lay under her covers, staring at the wood-paneled ceiling, feeling alone.
She had her mom, who was supportive, but Ava had always connected more with her dad.
This was the first big moment in her adult life when she didn’t have answers, and he wasn’t there to help her through it.
She’d fully expected to catch a giant bass today and have proof that he was with her.
Certainly, after her near-death experience, she’d have enough connection to heaven for him to get her a message.
But he hadn’t. Had he forgotten her? She couldn’t shake the idea that she hadn’t made it to heaven.
What if there was some unknown place for people like her—people who weren’t terrible, but hadn’t really focused on others and their spiritual lives like they should have? Was that possible?
If Ava were honest, before the accident, she’d spent a whole lot of time focusing on herself and no one else.
She’d lost her husband over it. David had been kind; he’d lavished her with flowers and jewelry, and he’d dressed up nicely in a suit for her work functions.
But she’d never spent the time to know him.
He ticked the boxes but she’d been practically living with a stranger.
When she’d married him, she’d thought she loved him, but looking back on it, they’d never had that unbreakable bond a good marriage needs.
In her defense, she didn’t know marriage was supposed to be anything special for two business-minded, working people.
She’d just assumed her parents had a deeper affection for one another because they had more time in their schedules to develop it.
But after one day with Lucas—even with his aloof behavior—Ava felt as if she knew him more than she ever knew David.
She beat herself up for getting married in the first place. She should’ve known better.
Ava had used every minute of every day to propel herself in her career. And now, when she couldn’t move upward anymore, despite all her efforts, she didn’t know how to find motivation. What had she accomplished in her life apart from work? When it came to experiences, Ava had very few.
Her dad would have known how to get her through it.
And yet her mother’s words came back to her: It takes good and bad experiences to build a person. They slow us down, make us think, give us perspective .
Ava had definitely slowed down, and she was certainly thinking. But she didn’t quite have perspective yet. She was lost.
And then there was whatever Lucas was going through. She was really worried about him. Even though it had been years, his behavior hurt her. She wanted him to be able to trust her like he used to. They could lean on one another if he would let her in.
She wrestled with whether or not to contact him. She didn’t want to add to his problems, but she also felt a sense of loss for not being able to support him. It was before nine— still relatively early. Maybe she’d just call and say something to let him know she was there for him.
Ava rolled over and took her phone off the nightstand. She dialed his number and lay back, the phone to her ear.
“Hello. Lucas Phillips.”
The sound of his voice gave her a rush of happiness.
“Hey. It’s Ava.”
The line buzzed in the silence.
“I just wanted to call to say that … If you ever want to completely ignore your regular life and just hang out with the girl you knew once, I’m here.” No beating around the bush. She just told the truth.
“Ava …”
By the tone of that one word, he was gearing up to let her down.
“Look, I know you don’t have the flu. And I can tell that something major has happened in your life. But if I promise not to ask about it, will you spend some time with me? I actually need you.” A lump formed in her throat.
“What?”
“You and my dad were the only two people who seemed to get me. I’ve never found anyone else who does.
And Dad’s not here. My life is pretty much falling apart.
I won’t dump all that on you because I’m sure you have your own life to deal with, but hanging out with you and doing something outside my regular day lifts my spirits.
No pressure. Just sit with me. I think your presence alone will help. ”
He didn’t answer.
“Maybe just a walk or something after I finish my testing?” Her voice broke, surprising her, and a tear slipped down her temple.
“Don’t cry.” His voice was almost a whisper.
“Sorry. I’ve been emotional since the accident. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. ”
“Nothing’s wrong with you. You’re allowed to cry.”
“I’m fine. I’m not going to cry.” She straightened out her voice. “But taking a nice walk tomorrow might be good for me.” And maybe you.
He let out a breath on the other end of the line. “We could go to Percy Warner Park?”
Ava sat up. Did he just say yes? “Sure. What time?”
“What time is your testing?”
She wanted to remind him that he could do the testing and they could walk right after, but she didn’t want to push her luck.
“It’s at ten. How about we meet at eleven fifteen?”
“All right. I’ll meet you at the limestone steps at the Belle Meade Boulevard entrance.”
A tingle of excitement shot through her battered body. “That sounds perfect.”
“Good night, Ava.”
The softness in the words wrapped around her like a warm hug, and she couldn’t wait to see him tomorrow.
“Good night.”