5. She’s in my head
5
SHE’S IN MY HEAD
ASHER
I pull into Hunter’s driveway and put my truck into park. Leaning forward, I look out the window and notice the house is dark and quiet. I wonder if Halle’s inside. Is she asleep? Did she go out for the night, or is she finally taking Hunter up on his offer to help out at the bar?
Fuck. I hit the steering wheel, feeling frustrated. The last week with Halle here has had me more on edge than ever before, and I hate it.
All I want is to spend one night not thinking about her, but my thoughts are constantly torn between wishing she would pack her shit and leave, and imagining how those goddamn curves would feel in my hands. That’s all I can seem to do lately—think about her—and it’s driving me insane. Hopping out of my truck, I run my hand through my hair, messing up my curls, and take one last glance at Hunter’s house.
I need to get laid. My plans for tonight are to forget about Halle.
Sunlit Cove comes alive at night. The energy down Main Street is contagious, and I can’t help but smile as I walk by the busy restaurants lit with fairy lights. The sun set a couple of hours ago, and the night air is warm. The smell of garlic hits my nose, and the live music from the center of town drifts down the street. People are mingling about, and kids are running around with glowsticks. It’s funny how when I first arrived here, I couldn’t see the appeal in a town like this. Everyone is so trusting, always there to help one another when needed, and they all know each other’s business. Keeping a secret here is impossible no matter how hard you try. Now, years later, I can’t see myself ever leaving.
Heading to work on your night off isn’t the ideal way to let go and have a wild time, but when you help run the only bar in town, it’s inevitable. It’s Friday night, and with summer upon us, Whiskey Cove is busier than ever, leaving little time to unwind. The ache that’s settling into my muscles and my patience wearing thin are constant reminders of how stressed I’ve been lately. And yeah, we’re closed on Mondays with everyone too hungover and exhausted from the weekend, but we often find ourselves at the bar restocking and resetting for the week ahead. Which is why Hunter and I agreed to take one Friday night off a month in the summer.
It’s still a little early, so I know the bar will be quiet. The guys will be getting prepared for the night ahead and placing bets on who will take who home with them tonight. Grinning to myself, I wonder if I’ll be on their bets.
My phone vibrates in my back pocket, and I stop to check it
Piper: Hey Ash, you out tonight?
This chick. I stare down at the text and chuckle to myself. Piper and I are friends that sometimes sleep together. She’s always there and willing, which makes life a hell of a lot easier when you just want a quick fuck. I tap out a reply.
Me: Meet me at ten, Whiskey Cove.
I’m most likely going to regret this. The last time we slept together, she got a little too clingy, hoping for more, and I had to hit the breaks. It’s been months now, so hopefully she’s remembered that I’m still a no-relationship kind of guy. Images of Halle’s long legs and curves assault my mind, and a fire spreads down my legs. Rolling my neck to the side, I curse myself for thinking about her again. Yeah, Piper seems like a great idea.
I walk into Whiskey Cove and see Madison first. She’s behind the bar that sits in the center of the room. Behind her, the shelves are lined with all the liquor bottles that reflect in the golden glow of the lights. There’s a neon bar sign that sits above the booths on the far left wall and a jukebox in the corner, which makes for some great nights of old-school dancing. Two pool tables sit to the right of the bar, and a dartboard hangs on the wall. Making my way through the few tables and chairs scattered between the floor to the bar, I look around to see where Hunter and Connor are.
I love this place and how it offers everyone the escape they need from a long week or a long day. The atmosphere is always charged with excitement and tension. Even on our quiet nights during the week, people come here for the relaxed vibes, to catch up, have a beer, and a quick bite to eat. The lights are dimmed, and it smells fresh, but that won’t last when the alcohol starts flowing and the people start sweating.
I take a seat at one of the bar stools that our regular patrons favor when they want to keep the drinks coming all night. Leaning forward, I rest my arms on the sticky countertop and smile at Madison. “Hey, Madi, where’re Hunter and Connor?”
Madison looks up from the lime she’s cutting and purses her lips. She’s wearing the Whiskey Cove black fitted tee and her favorite skinny jeans.
“I thought you were taking the night off, Ash. What are you doing here?” she says, pointing the knife at my face.
Laughing, I lean back. “I am taking the night off. Gonna have a few drinks with the boys, play some pool, and throw some darts.”
I hold my phone up and waggle my brows at her. “Also, Piper is meeting me here.”
Her nose scrunches. “Ew, Ash! I thought we all agreed that you need to find someone a little less clingy and bitchy.” Setting the knife down, she gives me that disapproving look.
“I know, but Madi, baby, a man has needs.” I shrug and give her a smirk.
Jumping off the stool, I head toward the back door that leads to our office and the storerooms, but not before I’m hit with a lime, followed by Madison yelling out, “You’re gross, dude, but don’t tell anyone else, my bet’s going on you tonight.”
I pick the lime up and throw it back to her, winking as the door closes behind me.
“YO, Hunter, you back here?” I yell down the hallway.
Connor walks out of the store room with a case of beer on his shoulders. “In the office, man.” He nods to the room down the hallway.
“Thanks, Con.” I slap him on the shoulder as we pass each other and go check on Hunter.
Laughing… I’m laughing and having fun. Fuck, this feels good. Whiskey Cove is packed tonight. The music is loud, the energy is high, people are playing pool, and the booths are full of people eating chicken wings and drinking. It’s stuffy in here; that fresh scent from earlier long gone.
I throw the dart at the dartboard, swaying to the side, and laugh again when I see that it’s landed way off the mark. One of the guys—I think it’s Jace, but I’m not so sure because he’s a little hazy—claps his hands in front of me to grab my attention, then takes the darts off me. I shake my head, trying to make him more solid, but I end up laughing again.
“You’re tanked, Ash. When was the last time you drank so much you couldn’t even stand?” The amusement in his tone tells me I’ll be paying for this tomorrow, but right now, I couldn’t care.
“Man, I’m good.” I throw my hands up in the air and lean into him like I’m making the biggest gesture of my life. “And, I haven’t even thought about her once.”
My smile drops for a moment, and I frown. “Well, besides just then, but that doesn’t count.”
It’s been hours, and that’s the first time she’s crossed my mind. I’ll take that as a win. I smile back at him so big my cheeks hurt. It feels unnatural.
“I don’t know who it is you are trying to forget, but if it’s Piper, I wouldn’t be so happy about it.” He glances over my shoulder, and I follow his line of sight.
“Because she’s walking this way and you look like her target, big boy.” He shoves me forward and walks off to the rest of the guys at the bar.
Shit, I forgot about Piper. I grab my beer off the table and down the last of it. I probably should slow down with how much I’m drinking tonight. My eyes roam over her as she walks my way. Her long, straight dark hair falls to her waist and she’s wearing a black leather skirt that barely covers her ass with a pink lace-looking top. I don’t know what they call them, but it looks like a scrap of material that just covers her tits with these spaghetti-looking straps.
“Hey, Piper, you look good,” I say as she approaches.
She doesn’t. She looks like a hooker, but if I say that out loud, she’ll probably slap me and that’s something I don’t want to feel tomorrow with the hangover. I laugh again, my shoulders shaking. The mortified look on her face, if I did say that, would be kind of hilarious.
Long white nails drag down my chest. “What’s so funny, Ash baby?” Her tone is all wrong and sugary as if she thinks it sounds sexy, and I shudder at her calling me baby .
Halle’s tone isn’t like that. She’s feisty and has an attitude. Her tone is commanding and sharp but somehow warm. She’s not afraid to tell me how it is, and she doesn’t care what I think of her.
No, nope, no. I am not thinking about Halle right now. I grab Piper by the hips and pull her into me, roaming my eyes over her. I smirk. I don’t reply. I just thread my hand through her hair and pull her back so she’s looking up at me. She’s a lot shorter than I am, and I have to bend to be level with her. Unlike Halle, who’s taller for a chick. I groan. There she is again, invading my space. I don’t think, I just act, and slam my lips to hers.
Kissing Piper used to be fun, but right now, there’s nothing fun about it. This feels wrong. There’s too much teeth, and why is it so wet? She lets out a quiet moan and rakes her nails along my scalp, making me roll my eyes. She’s so fucking predictable. I pull back and look at her. She’s smiling at me like I hung the moon. Halle’s irritated stare flashes through my mind, and annoyance ripples through me.
“I need a shot,” I mumble and storm off to the bar, leaving Piper to herself. She’ll follow me. She always does.
Connor and Hunter are chatting behind the bar as I walk up to them.
“Boys, have a shot with me, yeah?” I ask loudly.
“Man, you are so far gone. Please tell me you parked your truck at my house tonight and are crashing in the spare room?” Hunter says as he stacks clean glasses onto the rack.
“You don’t think I’m that stupid, do you, Hunter?”
Connor looks at me and chuckles. “I don’t know, remember that time you thought stripping down here at the bar and running through the town butt naked to Falls Creek for a night swim would be a good idea?”
That gets the attention of everyone around us as they laugh at me. Okay, so that wasn’t my brightest idea. I drank so much whiskey that night that I felt like I was on fire, and the only logical solution my drunk ass could come up with was a naked swim. I was the talk of the town for months after that.
“Ha ha, guys, very funny.” I nod to Madison. “Madi, you’ll have a shot with me, won’t you?”
“Nope, not a chance, big guy. Someone’s going to have to look after you and your hangover tomorrow.” She pours me a shot anyway and winks at me. I know what she’s trying to do—win tonight’s bet. She scowls at Hunter before spinning around and heading to the other side of the bar .
“Ah, I’ll see you later.” Hunter waves at me and follows after her.
I catch Connor staring after them, shaking his head.
“What’s going on there?” I ask him.
“Same shit, different night. You know how it is with them.”
Slender arms wrap around my stomach, and a fruity scent hits my nose, making me want to gag. I turn to face Piper as she clings to my side. Closing my eyes, I throw back the shot Madi made me. Long legs and curvy hips sweep through my mind, and I snap my eyes open, feeling frustrated once again.
Grabbing Piper’s hand, I bend down to whisper in her ear, “Want to find somewhere more quiet?”
I look at her for confirmation, and she nods. That’s all I need before I drag her behind me to the back door.
I stumble inside our office, not bothering to switch the light on, and fall onto the couch, pulling Piper down with me. As she adjusts herself to straddle my lap facing me, my hands start moving over her body.
“Woah, Ash, what’s the hurry tonight, baby? I thought we could take this back to your house. I can stay the night and make you breakfast in the morning,” she says sweetly.
My head shakes slightly. There she goes again with being clingy. I thought a few months of space and silence, especially after what she tried to do to me, would have made her take a hint.
I roam my hands up and down her back and then grab her by the hips, rocking her back and forth over me. I grunt when I don’t feel an ounce of pleasure.
“Shh, no talking, just doing.” If she’s annoyed at me for being rude, she doesn’t show it .
She chews her bottom lip, stares down at me, and continues to move over me. It doesn’t take her long to realize this is what I’m offering up tonight with no sleepovers.
Lowering her head, she kisses me softly, licking my lip ring as she goes. My hands move up her back, and I tighten my hold on the back of her head and kiss her deeper. Biting her bottom lip, I thrust up harder. Soft is not what I’m after tonight.
She takes the hint and moves to kiss and bite my neck as my hands slip the straps of her top down her arms. They move over her small tits and she moans in that sugary way. I bet Halle’s tits would fill my whole hand, they’d be soft and full. Heat rushes to my dick and I let out a groan. Fucking finally.
I thrust harder into her, and her nails drag down my chest, disappearing under my shirt, scratching me, and my mind grows hazy again.
Dark shoulder-length hair falls over my face, her sweet coffee scent consumes me, and those plush lips land on mine, biting down hard on my lip ring, causing me to hiss as her hand wraps around my throat. I’m lost in those blue-gray eyes when I feel my dick spring free and I hear a whispered gasp. My eyes flare open and I’m thrown back to the here and now with Piper straddling me, she’s staring down at my dick and wets her lips.
“Asher, baby,” she starts to say and I move so quickly she falls on her ass.
“Don’t call me baby.” I lash out as I stare down at her, tucking myself back into my jeans.
My head starts pounding, and I sway again.
“What the hell, Asher?” she screeches as she scrambles to her feet .
“Look, I’m sorry. I can’t. I’m just…” Stumbling on my words, I go to help her, but she bats my hands away and straightens her top.
“I’m sorry. It’s just, she’s in my head. I can’t get her out of my head, and it’s driving me crazy.” I start pacing back and forth in the office.
I’m about ready to rip my hair out. I came here to forget about Halle and all I’ve done is fucking fantasize more about her.
Piper’s hand lands on my arm, stopping me from pacing. She looks determined to help me. “Baby, it’s okay. You aren’t making sense. I’m the only girl here and in your head.”
Am I really drunk, or does she sound a little crazy right now?
I look down at her as she continues, “Let me just take you back to your place, and I’ll make it all better for you.” She practically purrs at me now.
Everything starts to blur, and I move away from her, bumping into the desk.
“Nothing will make it better, not until she’s out of this town. This is my home, not hers,” I say flatly as I storm out of the office, not caring about her at all.
I run out of the bar so quickly that none of the guys take notice. They probably think I’ve taken Piper home with me, but they’ll soon notice that wasn’t the case. Madison’s going to be so mad at me when she loses that bet.
Walking back to Hunter’s, my head clears in the fresh air that I breathe in. The pounding in my temples has calmed down, and I’m no longer swaying. What an epic fail of a night. I groan. It started out great. The guys and I ate our weight in chicken wings and fries, we joked around, I won all the games of pool, and the alcohol had me laughing so hard that I did forget about all the stress. I relaxed, and that’s something I haven’t done in a long time. But then she got in my head, and no matter how many shots I downed, I couldn’t get her out.
Hunter’s house is eerily silent and dark when I get back. It’s strange to see as usually, there’s always someone here or a gathering happening out back, people running in and out. I walk inside and fumble my way through the house to the kitchen, avoiding turning on the lights. Bright lights right now will not do me any good. Moonlight shines through the kitchen window, providing enough light for me to grab a glass of water to take to bed with me. Tomorrow’s hangover is going to be brutal.
I wake up to shouts and screams, my head pounding like someone is dropping boulders inside it. I roll over and moan in discomfort. There’s someone next to me, and we smell like sex and sweat. A glass smashes, and my stomach lurches. I bolt out of bed and run to the bathroom to empty the contents of the night before.
As I hurl, I hear my cousin yell, “We’ll have your money by the end of the month!”
Shit, what happened last night?
The memory fades, and I’m standing back in Hunter’s kitchen, my glass of water long forgotten on the counter as I stare out the window. My heart is pounding, and my hands are trembling. That morning was the start of everything changing. I sigh, feeling the confusion and panic that’s haunted me ever since that night. I don’t know why this is happening to me. Usually, the flashbacks only ever happen in my nightmares, but lately, they’re coming to me at any time, day or night. I’m so tired of it.
I hear shuffling down the hallway and the creak of a door opening and closing. I turn my head to the side, listening out for Halle. She wouldn’t know I’m here. The house is still dark, and I haven’t made a sound. I look down at my watch, noticing it’s past midnight. What the hell is she doing leaving the house this late at night? Is she sneaking out to get more pills? She can’t bring those here, in this house, or this town. A rush of fear hits me, and I’m quick to move toward the front door. I quietly open it and peek out. It creaks on the hinges, and I make a mental note to spray it for Hunter tomorrow.
Looking around the front of the house, I can’t see Halle anywhere, and I begin to worry. My heart thumps hard in my chest. What if she got into a car with a drug dealer? Surely she’s not that stupid, but how else does she get those pills? I head down to the side of the street and spot her heading in the opposite direction of town. My eyes focus on her. She’s in these little sleep shorts, by the looks of it, and an oversized shirt with her black Chucks. What the hell is she doing walking the street at this hour? I should just go back inside and tell Hunter about this in the morning. She’s his problem, anyway. But there’s something in the back of my mind, telling me to follow her.I’m drawn to her, and I don’t know why.My eyes narrow on her as she gets further down the street, and I give in to this nagging feeling I have. Sighing, I head down the street.
The park at the end of the street only has one street lamp to light the whole area, but I see her dark hair shining in the light, her head tipped back, staring at the night sky. She’s just sitting there on the swing, holding onto the chains on either side of her. Is she high on those pills? What the hell is she doing? Moving quietly towards the swing next to her, I sit down and turn my head to look at her. She hasn’t moved or made a sound, but I can tell she knows I’m here. Her shoulders are tense, and she’s breathing in and out like she’s trying to calm herself down.
I take this opportunity to really take her in. She’s goddamn stunning. High cheekbones, plush lips with the cutest straight nose, but those eyes, even in this light, I can see how pale blue they are. Minutes go by, and the silence is unsettling. Not because I feel uncomfortable, but because it feels so right. My fingers twitch, wanting to reach out and grab her hand to feel her skin on mine, to ask if she’s okay, but this pull that I can’t seem to escape scares the shit out of me. So I do what I do best.
“Halle, what the fuck are you doing sitting here this late at night?” I break the silence, sounding harsher than I should.
I wait for her to reply, growing more and more annoyed at her lack of attention. Huffing, I push back and lift my legs, letting the swing glide me through the warm summer air. If she wants to be stubborn, then so be it. I can be stubborn, too.
Passing her for the fourth time, I glance at her, and her shoulders slump, causing me to drop my feet to the sand and skid to a stop. She pins those sad eyes on me.
“Sometimes, I like to just sit and stare. I don’t actually look at anything. I just stare in any direction, and I turn it all off.” Her eyes travel back to the sky as she tips her head back, taking in the night sky. “Sometimes turning it all off with the stars makes more sense.”
My chest tightens at how sad she sounds. There’s no fight left in her, no feisty comebacks or glares. This girl. Maybe I do have it all wrong. Maybe she’s not here for Hunter’s bar or money. Maybe she’s just broken, and that thought alone has me feeling so much more than I care to admit. I follow her gaze to the sky. The stars are brighter out here with little to no light, the beauty of them sending a calmness over me. Before I can reply, she stands, wrapping her arms around her midsection. Without looking back at me, she silently walks back home, leaving me with more questions than answers and the sound of the swing rattling in the air.