13. I don’t have to pretend
13
I DON’T HAVE TO PRETEND
HALLE
“Please, Halle,” Madi whines at me, “please, please, please.”
Her elbows rest on the table as she buries her face in her hands, shielding her eyes from the bright lights as she calls them. The bright lights are the sun.
Hiding my smile, I bring my coffee to my lips and take a sip, letting the warmth spread through me. I woke up this morning and found Connor snoring on the couch. It was a sight I wasn’t expecting first thing. His hair was like a lion’s mane, and Ace was curled up on his chest, his cute little bum planted on his face. I had to stifle a laugh to keep quiet, but then Madi stumbled out of the spare room, crashing into the wall, and woke the two of them up. Knowing we needed the good kind of coffee to get through the day, we decided to head down to Sunlit Espresso.
Connor snickers at her and taps her head playfully. “Did someone drink a little too much last night?”
“Why are you screaming at me?” She winces.
“No one is screaming, Madi,” I say, patting her on the shoulder .
She peeks through her fingers at me and pouts. “Please, it’s the only way I’ll get through my day, and I can’t move without my head pounding.”
“A bit dramatic there, Mads,” Connor says.
“Don’t call me Mads,” she snaps back. “I’d like to see you suffer through a wine hangover.”
“Nope, not a chance in hell,” he gloats. “This is why we drink beer, not wine.”
Watching their banter is fascinating. I’ve never been around a group of friends like this before. I’ve never had friends before. But sitting here with them makes me feel like I’m a part of something, even if I’m just sitting on the edges of their circle. The way they tease and joke with each other, the way they’re there for one another when times are hard. It’s effortless. I’ve always dreamed of something like this.
Madi turns her attention back to me, her eyes pleading. “Please, Halle. I’ll love you forever. You’ll be my favorite Dawson.”
“In that case, how can I say no?” I smirk at her, standing. “But I’m getting one, too.”
I head inside to order us blueberry muffins. I would have said yes ten minutes ago, but I was having too much fun making Madi suffer out there.
The bell above the door chimes as I push it open. It’s quiet here this morning. The sun shines through the floor-to-ceiling windows at the front of the shop, casting a warm glow across the space. The smell of freshly baked goods and coffee fills the air.
Tessa looks up from the counter as I approach and leans over with a wide smile. “Let me guess, blueberry muffins?”
“Please, but make it two, Honey,” I tease, smiling at the name badge that she wears.
“I am never living this name badge down, am I? ”
“Nope. I think it suits you, though,” I say with a shrug.
Hanging out with Tessa last night made me realize how easy she is to be around. Both she and Madi have been welcoming and patient with me. They haven’t pushed for my story, never questioning why I’m here or where I came from. When I’m around them, everything feels a little lighter, and I’m grateful for that. It’s a strange feeling, having people wanting to be your friend.
Tessa shakes her head at me with a small smile, moving to grab the muffins.
“So, how’s our table dancing friend today?” she asks playfully. “I bet she has a killer headache.”
A quiet laugh escapes me. “She’s trying to hide from the sun at the moment, and she keeps thinking Connor is screaming at her when he’s not.”
“Well,” Tessa says, looking more amused than ever, “drinking that much wine will do that to you. We did tell her to drink more water.”
The bell above the door chimes, and I look over my shoulder to see Asher standing there. His eyes scan the coffee shop, lips pursed with his brows pinched, like he’s looking for someone. My heart skips a beat and begins racing at the sight of him. He looks like he just finished a run. His shorts cling to his muscled thighs, and his curls stick to his forehead, damp with sweat. How is someone that good-looking after running? It’s unfair. His shoulders visibly relax, and a slow smile spreads across his face when he spots me.
Heat rushes to my cheeks as I turn back to Tessa, remembering we were talking about Madi. I try my hardest to act as if he doesn’t affect me at all, but every part of me is painfully aware of his presence.
Tessa hands me the muffins with a knowing smirk and a million questions in her eyes, and I shake my head at her, silently pleading for her to not ask any. I try to escape back outside, but the air around me suddenly shifts, and goosebumps spread across my arm. I don’t need to turn around to know he’s standing right behind me. The heat of his body radiates off him and pulls me in, making me feel nervous all over.
“Asher, hey. What can I get you?” Tessa asks over me.
“Just a black coffee today, Tess.”
The corner of my mouth tugs up slightly. I knew he was a black coffee drinker.
I feel his breath brush the side of my neck as he presses up against me, his earthy scent invading all my senses as he leans over to pay for his coffee. My pulse begins to quicken at how close he is to me. My hands become clammy around the plates I’m holding as I struggle to keep my focus. There’s a magnetic pull inside of me that wants to lean into him and allow his warmth to wrap me up, like a safety blanket.
I feel him bend down toward me. “Hey, sweetheart,” he says, low enough that only I can hear him.
“Ah, hey, hi,” I stammer out as the back of my neck tingles from the way he sounds, all breathless and raspy.
Before he has a chance to say anything more, I quickly spin away from him and glance over my shoulder, calling out, “Thanks, Tess.”
She waves at me from the coffee machine as I push through the door, the bell chiming again. I look at Asher as the door closes to find him staring at me, biting back a grin.
“Oh my god, Halle, you’re officially my favorite. I love you so much.” Madi squeals as I set down her blueberry muffin in front of her.
My nerves are on high alert, and my pulse hammers in my throat. Asher’s here, and I have no idea how to act around him now. What if last night was all a lie, an illusion we created in the bubble we found ourselves in? Did he change his mind overnight? Did he wake up this morning still wishing for me to be gone? My fingers start tapping on the side of my leg as a million scenarios start running through my head of what could happen next. Maybe I should leave and go back to Hunters before he comes outside with his coffee.
The sound of Madison humming pulls my attention back to the table, and I glance over to see her looking like she’s in heaven with her blueberry muffin. Her eyes are half-closed, and she savors every little bite she takes.
“You gonna share any of that?” Connor asks as he reaches over to grab at her plate.
Before he can get close, she slaps his hand away, hissing at him like an angry cat.
“Shit, Madi, did you just hiss at me?” he says, pulling his hand back.
“My muffin,” she mumbles back with a mouth full.
Ace barks at the commotion from where he’s sitting by our feet, and I bend down to scratch behind his ear. Looking back up, I find Connor laughing and taking a photo of Madi with crumbs all down her shirt and mouth so full she looks like a chipmunk.
His smile spreads wide across his face as he shows me the photo he just took. Madi looks absolutely ridiculous, and I can’t hold back the giggle that escapes me.
“This is gold. I’m sending it in the group chat so Hunt can see.” He laughs louder.
“Don’t you dare.” Madi glares at him.
“It’s already done. He wouldn’t have believed me if I told him you were sitting here this hungover with a blueberry muffin all over you. ”
My phone pings, and I frown. The only people who have my number are Hunter and Stacey, but I haven’t heard from her since I left town. I pull it from my back pocket and stare down at the notification, confused.
CONNOR HAS ADDED HALLE TO THE GROUP: WHISKEY CREW
My chest tightens as I read the notification, and my mind scrambles to make sense of what’s happening. How did he get my number? I’m in a group text message thread. Connors’s photo of Madison is staring back at me. My fingers begin to tremble, and I tighten my hold on my phone. A chair scrapes loudly across the ground, the sound registering in the back of my mind somewhere as a shoulder bumps into mine. Looking over, I see Connor sitting right next to me with a gentle smile. He doesn’t say anything to me or ask what’s wrong. He doesn’t question my sudden change in mood. He just bumps my shoulder again, winks at me, and grabs for my plate. Somehow, he knew that I needed a little reassurance without making a big deal of it. I don’t know much about Connor, but I see him, and I know that he watches us all more than anyone else. He’s the type of guy who’s always there for everyone, no questions asked. But who’s watching him?
My shoulders relax a little, and I take in a shuddering breath, calming myself. Glancing back down at my phone, I notice the text attached to the photo he sent.
MADI IS A HOT MESS
I let out a small laugh. Leaning forward, I grab my coffee from the table to finish off. Just as I sit back, a shadow falls over us, and I look up to find Asher standing there, his gaze sweeping over me before settling on Madi.
“You look like shit, girl,” he teases, pulling out a chair and sitting down across from me.
There’s a playful grin on his face as he stares right at me, not bothering to hide the intensity in his eyes at all. My stomach tightens, and I shift nervously on my seat, bringing my hand to my ear and spinning my earring. Connor must pick up on the tension that’s formed between us because he bumps my shoulder again and clears his throat as he leans back in his chair casually.
“So, what’s the plans for the day?” Connor asks.
“I’m going home to die on my couch before work tonight,” Madi grumbles into her hands.
We all chuckle at her. She really is having a hard time over there, and I have no idea how she’ll pull herself together for work tonight.
“Halle, what are we doin’ today?” Asher speaks up over Madi’s grumbles.
My eyes snap over to him. His focus is entirely on me, like no one else at this table exists, and that makes me feel more exposed than I care for.
“ We are doing nothing,” I fire back at him.
Asher’s eyes narrow at me, and I smirk, turning to Connor. “I was actually going to ask if you knew how far the next town is and if they have an art store. You guys don’t seem to have one here, and I need to grab some things.”
“You are not driving over to the next town in your beat-up old car, Halle. Your brother will lose his damn mind,” Asher cuts in before Connor has a chance to reply to me.
“I gotta agree with Ash there,” Connor says. “Hunt will kill us if he knew we let you go on your own. It’s an hour’s drive, and I’m not sure your car over there will handle it.” He shoots a pointed look at my car parked across the street from us.
I roll my eyes at them.
“Uhm, okay. I have one brother, not three, and that car,” I point at it, “got me here to Sunlit Cove, remember?”
“Not to mention leaving you in a town where no one knows you,” Madi adds.
Their worry about me makes me pause. Is this what it’s like to have people who actually care about you? Or are they just saying these things because they’re Hunter’s friends first? Maybe they’re doing him a favor, not me.
“I’ll be fine, guys,” I say stubbornly, crossing my arms.
“I’ll take you,” Asher says, his voice holding firm.
My body tenses with frustration, and I lock eyes with him. Determination flares in his, daring me to argue back. I open my mouth, but Madi jumps in before I can say anything.
“Halle, girl. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll let Ash take you.”
Connor and Madi stand, grabbing their things off the table and untying Ace from the chair. They look back at us with mischievous grins on their faces like they know something I don’t. Connor throws his arm over Madi’s shoulder as she walks up beside him.
“We’re gonna walk back to Hunter’s. I’ll take Madi home and let Hunter know where you guys will be today.”
“You two have fun now,” Madi taunts, winking at me.
They walk off, leaving Asher and me sitting alone out the front of Sunlit Espresso together. The silence between us feels suffocating, and I start to fidget. Unsure about this whole situation, I try to come up with any excuse to tell him not to bother coming with me .
Asher stretches his arms above his head. “Come on, sweetheart,” he says with a grin, “let’s go on a road trip.”
Standing, I start walking toward my car. My heart is racing, and I don’t know if I can handle sitting so close to him, let alone spend a whole day with him.
“It’s fine, Asher. I can go on my own. I don’t want to put you out,” I say over my shoulder.
He catches up to me and grabs my elbow, spinning me around to face him. My eyes go wide, and I bite the inside of my cheek. He’s so close to me that I can see the muscle in his jaw tick.
His thumb sweeps over my cheek as he moves to tuck my hair behind my ear, causing my heart to beat faster.
“Don’t do that,” he says softly. “I want to go with you.”
He takes a step back and smiles at me before spinning on his heel and walking over to his truck. He sees me, doesn’t he? I can feel it. When I’m around him, I don’t have to pretend. There’s no point because when I do, he sees right through it.
Biting my thumbnail, I glance back at my car. This whole trip could be a disaster. We could end up fighting, and I could come back spiraling. But what if it doesn’t happen like that at all? What if it’s everything I didn’t know I needed? My head starts to ache as I try to quickly work out what I’m going to do.
“Halle!” Asher shouts from his truck.
My eyes snap toward him, and he leans out his window. “Get in the fucking truck.”
Not wanting to piss him off and bring back Mr. Angry, I run over and climb into the passenger seat, a mix of nerves and excitement coursing through me.
Shit. Today’s either going to go terribly wrong or terribly right.