16. She’s becoming my addiction
16
SHE’S BECOMING MY ADDICTION
ASHER
My world hasn’t felt this alive and colorful in years. Halle has a way of pulling me out of the dark and making me feel like life could be better, could be fun again.
“What the hell is your problem?” she snaps, her sharp tone cutting through my thoughts.
I stare at her from across the table, fighting a grin that’s pulling at my lips. Her arms are crossed over her chest, pushing her tits up as she leans back in her chair, glaring at me. Those sad gray eyes turn a fierce blue, and her lips are pursed in annoyance, waiting for me to answer her, but I can’t help but stare. She’s fucking sexy when she’s this worked up. She’s doing things to me, things I can’t even begin to describe.
Picking up my burger, I take a huge bite and grin. I have to give this town credit—the diner here makes one hell of a burger and milkshake. Leaning forward, I push Halle’s plate toward her.
“Eat first, and then I’ll talk,” I say around a mouthful.
Picking up her burger, she takes the smallest bite known to mankind before dropping it on her plate in an exaggerated way. One side of her mouth curves as she leans back in the booth, eyes locked on mine, and gestures to me.
“Happy?” she answers, her tone teasing. “Now talk.”
I chuckle quietly as my heart picks up speed. Two can play at this game. I take a slow bite, this time dragging out each chew like it’s my last meal. The defiant eye roll she gives me sends a rush of heat to my core. She knows I’m riling her up. The seconds turn into minutes, and when I finish, I pick up my milkshake, taking a long sip, humming when the coldness runs down my throat.
She huffs, picking up a fry, and I stifle a laugh at the frustration she’s trying to keep a hold of. I could do this all day with her.
“Asher,” she snaps at me.
“Yes, sweetheart?” I smirk.
“You’re infuriating, did you know that?”
“I’ve been told a time or two that I can push people’s buttons,” I say, leaning forward, my arms resting on the table. “Am I pushing your buttons, sweetheart?”
I’m fucking with her, and I can’t help but get a kick out of it. Teasing Halle is just too much fun. The little reactions she gives me, the way her eyes narrow and her arms fold over her chest, her little huffs, and the twitch of her lips when she’s fighting back a smile, are becoming addictive. She’s becoming my addiction.
Her eyes grow tired the longer we stare at one another, morphing back into that sad gray I’ve become so used to seeing. She sinks back in the booth, waiting for me to explain myself. The air around us shifts as the playfulness flickers and dies out.
“Look,” I begin, pushing my plate aside, my tone more gentle now, “I’m sorry for earlier. I’m sorry for how I reacted to you finding that photo and for shutting you out all day. ”
She doesn’t say anything and nerves begin to swim in my stomach, because I know I screwed up. I wanted today to be all about Halle letting go and having fun, but instead, I let my past get in the way, and I made her feel like a burden when I’ve come to learn that she’s not.
Taking her silence as a sign that she’s listening, I keep going, knocking my foot with hers under the table. Goosebumps rise on her arms, and I’d like to think that reaction is from my touch and not the cool A/C pumping through the diner.
“I’m not going to sit here and defend myself.” I meet her gaze, holding it. “That’s not how I work. I handled my shit badly this morning, and instead of talking to you about it first, I waited for you to speak up.”
Pausing for a second, I watch her expression soften and take in a shuddering breath.
“Because I know you have questions, and I know you worry about overstepping or getting everything wrong. But Halle, I need you to know something.” I lean over and link my pinkie finger with hers, the same way I did on the swings, my voice steady but still gentle. “You are strong. You have a voice, and your voice matters. You don’t have to be scared to use it.”
By the time I’ve finished speaking, Halle’s long forgotten about her food, and the silence between us grows heavy. Her eyes begin to well with tears, but she blinks quickly, trying to keep her emotions in check. I give her a moment to process everything I just said.
Unlinking our fingers, I lean back in the booth and wait for her. I can feel my heart hammering against my ribs as I spin my lip ring between my teeth. Maybe she’s never had anyone in her corner before, and that’s why she can’t see herself. But I’m here now, and I can see her strength. I just need her to see it too.
Her chest rises and falls quickly, and her eyes zero in on my lip ring, a faint smile tugging at my lips at the way she fixates on it. Her gaze snaps to mine, and I watch heat rise to her cheeks, turning them a pretty shade of pink. Seeing her flustered sends a rush through me. She’s too smart, too stunning, and good to be holding herself back, to be keeping herself locked behind her walls.
“How…” Her voice is just a whisper, and I give her a reassuring smile.
I watch her take in a deep breath as she sits up straighter. Her chin tilts slightly, and my smile widens. There she is.
“How do you do that?” she asks, her tone louder now.
“Do what?” I raise one brow at her.
“See through me.” She leans forward, head tilting to the side slightly. “You see my anxiety, my panic attacks, when no one else can. How?”
My lips purse, and I take in a shaky breath. If I want to know her story, her past, then I have to give her a little of mine. Even if it makes me feel sick. Will she see me differently knowing my demons? What haunts me at night?
“That photo you found,” I start, but my voice trails off as the words die in my throat. I glance around the diner as I try to get my thoughts together. The last time I spoke about him was with Hunter when he made me come clean about everything. He accepted me, no questions asked, no judgment, and it’s only now that I realize I want the same from her.
I look back at Halle and find her eyes still on me. The look she gives me is full of understanding as she waits. The pull between us feels stronger, and the urge to let her in overpowers me.
“Was of me and my cousin Aiden.” I pause for a moment, feeling the words getting stuck in my throat before I force them out. “It’s not easy to talk about him. We were like brothers,” I admit, glancing down for a second to steady myself. “He died a long time ago now.”
Halle sucks in a breath and something flashes in her eyes, sympathy, maybe, or understanding. My chest tightens, but I continue.
“I have nightmares, you know. It’s all that I have left from that time, but there were panic attacks once, too. So yeah, sweetheart. I see you because I was there, too.”
Her eyes gloss over, and I reach across the table to grab her hand, the heat of her palm against mine calming my pulse.
“You don’t have to tell me, but what happened to him? You both looked so happy in the photo. Why was it hidden away?” she asks, her tone cautious.
I pull back, and the loss of her touch sends a chill up my arm. “Because it’s from a time in my life that I’m not proud of.”
A moment passes by before she realizes I won’t say more. “Will you tell me one day?”
“One day…” I trail off, shaking my head. “Apparently I don’t know how to say no to you Dawsons.”
Confusion flickers across her face, and I chuckle lightly, the mood shifting with it, and the heaviness in the air starts to fade away as my heart slows down to a steadier beat.
“When I first got to Sunlit Cove, I wasn’t the nicest person to be around,” I say.
“No way, really?” Halle gasps, her hand to her chest, mocking me .
Smiling at her, I continue, “Your brother, he was the only one in Sunlit Cove who saw me for who I was, who I could be. He didn’t walk away when I tried to push him away, and eventually, I caved. I told him everything. I owe a lot to him because if it weren’t for him, I don’t know where I would be right now.”
Leaning across, I reach for her forgotten milkshake and take a long sip, smiling around the straw at the look on her face. Her eyebrows shoot up and she sucks in her cheeks before her eyes narrow on me and her milkshake.
“I was going to drink that.” She points at me.
I put the empty glass down in front of her and offer up my best I’m sorry eyes. “Oops.”
She huffs and crosses her arms. “You’re still infuriating.”
Laughing, I stand and grab my things. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
The tension between us still lingers as we walk down the street, but it’s not the same as before. It’s not heavy with the weight of our pasts hanging in the air. There’s a pull that leads me straight to her, and something inside of me screams mine.
I glance over at her and find the space between us far too wide for my liking. It’s unsettling. I need her closer to me. Knowing I have to get back for my shift at the bar tonight is killing me because right now, the last thing I want to do is leave her.
I want to learn everything there is to know about her, the things that she loves and hates. What turns her off, what makes her laugh uncontrollably, her favorite color and foods, what her dreams are.
Reaching over, I take her hand in mine and pull her close, erasing the space between us. The little gasp that leaves her mouth sends a thrill down my spine. Her hand fits in mine like it belongs there, and something settles in me.
I can see the wheels turning in her pretty little head, but I wait for her to use her voice, squeezing her hand in a reassuring way. I shoot her my best flirtatious smile, and the laugh I get in return causes me to smile wide.
“What are you doing?” she asks as we reach my truck.
I stop on her side and open the door, but before she gets in, I grab her elbow, spinning her around so she faces me. Her breath hitches at how close we’re standing together, and I lean in further, my hand braced on the door frame above her head. The air between us crackles as her wide eyes meet mine.
“Halle,” I murmur, my voice sounding raspier than usual.
I breathe in her sweet caramel scent. Her lips part, and I can’t help but fixate on how soft and plush they look. How they would feel against mine.
“If I haven’t made myself clear enough, let me spell it out for you here and now.” I swallow hard, the lump in my throat tightening as I confess. “I like you and I want to know you as more than just Hunter’s little sister.”
My eyes bounce between hers as her cheeks turn a deep pink, and I watch her take in every word I just spoke. She goes to lean into the door but I catch her around the waist, bringing her into me, wrapping both arms around her in an all-consuming hug. For a moment, the outside world ceases to exist. The noise around us dulls, and there’s only the two of us. The cars driving down the street, birds chirping, and the people in the distance yelling all go silent. She brings her arms up around me and grips the back of my shirt like I’m her lifeline and fuck, this feels right, having her in my arms, holding her tight. I can feel her heart racing in her chest, matching the rhythm of my own.
Kissing the top of her head, I reluctantly let go and motion for her to get in.
“Hey, Asher?” she murmurs, voice soft as she bites down on her lower lip nervously. “I see you, too.”
She climbs into the truck and settles into her seat. Without thinking, I lean over, grab her seatbelt, and buckle her in. My hand lingers for a moment longer, causing her to shift in her seat. Her chest brushes against my arm, and I catch the sharp inhale she tries to hide. I smile at how nervous she’s become.
“I hope so because next time, I won’t hold back.” My thumb traces her lower lip softly.
Stepping back, I close her door and round the truck, leaving my pounding heart in her hands.
Hunter’s going to kill me.